Girl of Mine (10 page)

Her heart nearly stopped in her chest. “Why, Luke? I don’t understand.”

He knew she wasn’t asking why he loved her. She was asking why he’d left her.

“It’s a long story.”

“And that’s why I’m here?”

“Yes.”

Slowly, Luke let go of her hands. Jill didn’t move. He reached into his pocket, took out his keys and unlocked the handcuffs, gently removing them from her wrist.

“We don’t need these anymore,” Luke said. “I can see it in your eyes now.”

“What is it you see?”

“Love,” he said simply.

Jill had no idea what her eyes must’ve exuded earlier, but she’d hidden her love from him underneath anger, outrage, and a little bad humor. And now she was an open book. Her love for him had never died.

Luke stood, pulling her up with him. They embraced once again, holding each other close. “I have so much to tell you, so much to say to you, Jill.”

She took a deep breath. “All right, I’m ready to listen.”

“It won’t be easy for you to hear.”

“You’re scaring me. If you still love me, it can’t be that bad.”

Luke massaged her wrist where the handcuffs had left a red mark. “It’s good and bad. Either way, you’ll know the truth and the decision will be yours.”

“The decision?” Jill asked.

“Of whether you want to be with me or with Troy.”

“I’m not in love with Troy. It’s always been you, Luke. From the moment I first met you. Even Troy knows that.”

He breathed in and out with a deep, cleansing breath. It was then Jill noticed just how tired he looked, how ravaged with emotion his expression appeared. Why hadn’t she noticed this earlier? “How much sleep have you had?”

“About four hours in the last two days.”

No wonder he’d fallen asleep against his will. He was going on fumes. “Bed. Now. We’ll talk tomorrow. We have all day just to ourselves.”

“That’s all I’ve wanted, Jill. A second chance.”

She was now willing to give it to him. “You’ve got it. Rest easy.” Things had changed between them in a matter of minutes. They’d been simmering all day. The transition to hard, rolling boil had only been seconds away.

Luke walked her to her bedroom. They both avoided the readymade honeymoon suite. The door was firmly shut and Jill had no intention of giving the room another glance. Luke turned down the bed while Jill slipped into PJs and brushed her teeth. He tucked her in as if she were a child. He sat on the edge of the bed and kissed her forehead.

Jill cupped his cheek. It felt good to give in to the desire to simply touch him. “I’m sorry if I hurt you earlier, when I pushed you.”

“I’m okay. For such a little thing, you’re surprisingly strong.”

“Luke . . . I don’t want to fight. I’m sorry I’ve been so difficult.”

His cheeks actually flushed, as if he was a little embarrassed at his actions. “I wasn’t expecting you to give me such a hard time. The underlying anger took me by surprise.”

“It’s hard to see you in this circumstance.”

“I know. All I’ve wanted to do is take you in my arms and kiss you until you can’t breathe.”

Jill smiled. “The thought crossed my mind once or twice too.”

“Couldn’t tell. I thought you hated me.”

“I don’t hate you, Luke. That’s the problem. I have to constantly remind myself that I
should
hate you. I have to fight my love for you, when all I really want to do is give in to it.”

“Thank you for giving me a second chance.”

“I didn’t exactly
give
it to you . . .”

Luke grinned, his expression exuding relief. “I don’t make a habit of kidnapping the woman I love, just so you know.”

“I wouldn’t normally give in to a kidnapper, just so you know.”

His eyes crinkled at the corners as he lightly chuckled. “May God have mercy on that kidnapper’s soul.” He stood next to the bed. “I’ll just be across the hall if you need me. You . . . you won’t leave, will you?”

Jill shook her head. “No, I won’t leave.”

“Thank you.” Luke headed for the door.

“Luke, wait.”

“What is it?”

“Do me a favor? Please handcuff me to the headboard.”

The blink of his eyes turned slow and heavy. “Jill . . . why?”

“Because once you leave this room and I’m left in here with my own insecure thoughts, I’m gonna talk myself out of staying. We both know it’s true. I’ll steal your keys and be gone by morning. I’ll hide from you. Then I’ll spend my entire life wondering what you would’ve said to me.” Jill frowned. “You don’t realize what you did to me.”

He hesitated for so long, Jill didn’t think he was going to comply with her wishes. Finally, he nodded and left. He returned with the handcuffs, placed them on her wrist and attached the other end to the wrought iron headboard.

“Comfortable?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.”

“I do know what I did to you,” he said so softly she barely heard him. “Your mom explained.”

“She shouldn’t have.”

“I’m glad she told me. I needed to know.”

Jill wondered how much her mom had told him. Before she could ask, Luke went on.

“She said you didn’t leave your bed for two weeks, then you spent another week moping around, going nowhere and seeing no one. She said you just returned to work a week ago.”

True. Of course, she couldn’t return to work until the cut on her palm had partially healed. But that had nothing to do with the fact that she hadn’t gotten out of bed.

Luke continued. “She said you haven’t been back to your apartment at all. She’s really worried about you, Jill. She said she’s never seen you so low in your entire life. You’re scaring her and she’s not sure how to help you. She said she was shocked when you announced a week ago that you’d agreed to marry Troy. She understands the situation, but she feels it’s a huge mistake. One that you’ll regret.”

Yikes. Her mother had not held back at all. “And what do you think?” Jill asked.

“I think life is complicated sometimes.”

She mulled that over, then shook her head in the negative. “I don’t think it is. I think life is simple. We complicate it all on our own.”

Jill reached up with her free arm, running her hand through Luke’s short hair and pulling him towards her.

“No, Jill. I can’t kiss you while you’re handcuffed to the bed. It screams all kinds of wrong.”

“Says the man who kept me handcuffed all afternoon.”

“I . . . uh . . .” he stammered.

“You’re not forcing me, Luke. I’m forcing you,” she said as she pulled him down and their lips met in a searing kiss. He didn’t resist. She immediately understood his hesitation though. Passion instantly ignited between them as the kiss deepened at once. Luke reached out and turned off the bedside lamp, which was a mistake. The cloak of darkness left them in their own little world of longing, where only Luke and Jill existed, where only touch mattered. His hands wandered through her hair, down to her shoulders, and then down to her hips. Even though she’d initiated the kiss, he took control as his lips coaxed and pleasured hers. Luke knew how to kiss a girl, the pressure flowing between soft and hard, never too much and never too little, and always leaving her wanting more. When the flash of yearning calmed, their kiss turned slow and soft, infinitely tender and sweet.

Reluctantly, he pulled away. “This is where I leave you.”

Jill didn’t argue with him. It wasn’t the right time for more.

After Luke left with a quiet “goodnight,” Jill’s thoughts went haywire, just as she’d known they would. She began to question herself, and more importantly, Luke. He’d ended their relationship. He’d devastated her. He’d walked out on her and their marriage.

Why was she here? Kissing him and forgiving him?

As she drifted off to sleep, her thoughts wandered to that day; the day Luke broke her heart.

8

Luke and Jill
March 2003

One Month Earlier

The doorbell rang and Jill ran to answer it. Addressing wedding invitations had proved to be an absorbing task. It was nearly ten at night already. Where had the time gone? After a quick peek out the window, Jill saw Luke’s truck parked outside.

“Luke!” she said as she threw open the door. “I thought you had to work tonight.” Jill wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, not letting go for several moments. He felt good, comforting, and she loved to hug him and soak up all the good vibes inside of him, as if they all transferred to her through the physical contact. He smelled good too. The man knew how to use aftershave; not too overwhelming, just a gentle whiff. She leaned back and pressed her lips to his, framing his face with her hands. It was one of those sweet kisses wherein they simply enjoyed the feel of their lips pressed together. Neither one of them moved to break the kiss, they simply enjoyed the transference of affection, the calming reassurance of having someone to love and love you in return.

Luke had a soothing presence about him. Her mom called him a deep thinker. He didn’t laugh at a joke if he didn’t think it was funny—which didn’t bode well for her. He didn’t fill in the silence with useless chatter unless he had something to say. Every word that left his mouth had been mulled over and well thought out before it left his lips. When Jill spoke, his blue eyes kept direct eye contact with hers, letting her know he was listening to her every word, making her feel as though she mattered to him.

He was decisive and had a strong sense of right and wrong. Hence, his employment choices defined him in many ways. After getting his degree in Criminal Justice, he became a police officer. He’d also joined the Army Reserves, had made captain six months ago at the age of 27, and was currently assigned to a Civil Affairs unit.

The four year age difference between them didn’t matter. They’d both achieved their initial career goals in life and felt ready to move forward with building a family.

All at once, Luke changed the nature of their kiss. He walked her backwards until she hit the living room wall, his kiss turning hot and demanding.

It was just another thing Jill loved about him. When a man possesses a calm demeanor, his rising emotions are readily evident. When Luke felt passionate, there was no hiding it, nor did he try to hide it. With their wedding only a month away, their kisses had become more and more fervent lately. It left her with the knowledge that their love life was going to be very good indeed.

But this kiss was different. His body pressed against hers, his hands held her hands tightly, making her a willing prisoner in his arms. His kiss became hurried and desperate; as if he was scared she would disappear at any moment. The kiss overwhelmed her, besieged her, until there was nothing left in her thoughts except Lucas Graham. She was nothing and he was everything and together they made something, something that surpassed this very moment, something that surpassed just the two of them.

When Luke finally released her lips, and only her lips, he held their position, staring into her eyes as if he were trying to memorize every feature. The intensity of his gaze—and his mood—finally registered in Jill’s psyche.

“Luke? Is something wrong?”

He didn’t answer, but his eyes were slightly wild, matching the untamed rhythm of his breathing. Another round of ardent kisses ensued, kisses so deep she didn’t know where he began and she ended and she was pretty sure they had melted into each other and become one.

And then it was over. He backed away, his eyes narrowed and his eyebrows deeply furrowed.

Jill was still pressed against the wall and the next few moments of silence seemed almost excruciating. It was then Jill realized he’d not uttered one single word since the moment he arrived. “That was nice,” she said, her voice breathy.

He only nodded. As if finally noticing his surroundings, his eyes wandered. Her apartment looked as though it had become a storehouse for a bridal boutique.

“Oh! Close your eyes. You can’t see my dress,” Jill said as she ran to move her wedding dress that hung from the door frame of her bedroom. She’d just picked it up that day and the alterations were perfect. They’d had to take a ridiculous amount of length off the hem to adjust for her height, but the deed was done. Jill laid the dress across her bed and closed her bedroom door.

When she entered the living room, Luke was studying the centerpieces covering every inch of her coffee table.

“I finally nailed it,” she told him proudly.

Jill had opted to make their wedding centerpieces. After several failed attempts, they’d become a bit of a joke between them. The first centerpiece idea had been to take several types of plastic plants and submerge them in a vase filled with water, giving an “under the sea” type of look. The plants just floated to the top of the vase. Every time.

That idea was nixed.

Next Jill attempted to make fabric wrapped vases. The results were catastrophic. They were a wrinkly mess and no matter how hard she tried to smooth out the material, the project just didn’t work.

The next idea was the most promising. Jill took raffia ribbon and layered it in circles on the
inside
—instead of the outside—of a vase, with a huge flower perched on top. Instead of looking artistic, it looked like the flower sat atop a large wad of tangled yarn that a cat had just played with. Or maybe an angry bird’s nest was a little more apt.