Goodbyes and Second Chances (The Bleu Series Book 1) (13 page)

“I was right
here, Jewels.” He’s rubbing my back and chuckling. I find nothing funny. “I
stole me a pimento cheese sandwich. I was starving,” he confesses.

Now I feel
completely stupid. “You’re eating in the dark?” I lean over and turn a lamp on.
Sure enough, he’s holding a half-eaten sandwich. We both laugh now.

“Can’t a man eat
some supper, woman?” I notice the teasing tone of his voice and then see a
plate on the edge of the bed holding two more sandwiches. I eye them and then
him. “They don’t make pimento cheese like this out west,” he says sheepishly
and shrugs his shoulder.

I ease around
the back of him and wrap my legs around his waist so I can hold him while he
continues to eat. I still need the reassurance that he is really here. He’s
only wearing his boxer shorts now. He is mouthwatering, and I think I want
him
for supper. His shoulders are quite
broad now. I’m appreciating what lugging all that sound equipment has done to
his body. I notice he has enhanced the tattoo a bit on his toned upper back.
It’s a bit bigger and more defined now. You can tell it was done at the hands
of a wickedly skillful artist. I lean forward and place kisses over it, causing
him to moan deeply. I can feel it vibrate through his body. I also spot a long
tattoo running down the back of his left arm. The scrolled writing is tucked
neatly along his triceps and is none other than a phrase from his favorite
Bible verse, Ephesians 5:19
.
Sing and
make a melody in your heart to the Lord
.
I run my fingers over it in appreciation,
and rest my head on his back.

Dillon rubs my
knee and asks, “Why don’t you take these pants off and get more comfortable?”

“Both of us
without pants on would probably be a bit dangerous,” I whisper as I continue
kissing and holding him. I’ve missed every inch of him, and there are
definitely more inches to love now.

“No doubt about
it,” he says as he finishes the last sandwich.

I glance at the
clock and am shocked. It’s two in the morning. We totally missed supper, and I
realize I’m in need of a shower, too. “I need to wash.”

“Okay, let’s go
shower.” He stands up and places his plate in the sink.

“Me, first.
Alone
,” I say with him grinning at me. I
stand eyeing the bathroom door, then him, then the front door, hesitant on
being apart from him.

Dillon picks up
on my apprehension too, so he stretches back over my bed. “I’ll be right here.
I’m not going anywhere,” he murmurs as he watches me.

Tonight, maybe not.
I go grab a
quick shower and slip into a pair of night pants and a tank top. When I
reemerge, Dillon is sound asleep. I stand at the edge of the bed and watch him
until the sky turns gray with a new day. I know he won’t be here long. I’m
scared to blink.

“Stop staring at
me and get back in this bed,” he says full of sleep, as he pulls me on the bed
and snuggles into me.

We sleep for a
few hours, until my stomach wakes us both with its gurgling. Dillon fishes out
his fancy Blackberry phone. He punches in some long message before snuggling
back down.

“Why didn’t you
tell me?” I whisper as I lay on his chest, listening to the soothing rhythm of
his heart.

“I wanted to
surprise you,” he mumbles as he’s about to doze back off.

“Why are you
here?”

He lets out a
long sigh and tightens his grip around my waist. “I got business here to take care
of before the tour begins.”

I think he’s
about to go back to sleep, so I nudge him in the side.

“I bought mom a
house in California. I need to get her moved out there this week.” His words
sink in. I don’t know why I thought he would make this place his home base. It
hurts more than I want it to that he’s not.

A little while
later, there’s a knock on the door. Dillon climbs out of bed and pulls a
suitcase, his guitar, and some grocery bags to the kitchen. He then goes back
to the door. This time he brings in a tray with two coffees and a white bakery
bag. He hands me a coffee and the bag before climbing back in beside me.

“How’d this get
here?” I ask him as I peek in the bag. My mouth waters when I fish out a
Bavarian cream donut. I take a big bite and moan at the sweet goodness. This
isn’t grocery store grub. This is the real deal and it melts in my mouth.

“My assistant
grabbed it up for us.”

“Your
assistant?” I ask before taking a sip of the gourmet coffee.

“Yep. His name
is Ben, and he takes care of all my stuff for me.” He shrugs his shoulder
before digging into the donuts.

I laugh. “You
are getting spoiled.”

“Tell me about
it,” he says as he sniffs himself, brushing off my joke with one of his own. “I
need a shower.” He swipes another donut, gives me a sugary kiss, and heads to
the bathroom.

I enjoy another
donut and finish up my coffee before I pad over to the small kitchen to check
out what is in the bags. They are filled with all of our favorites. Or more so
Dillon’s than mine. I guess there were a few other items he’s been missing.
There’s a jar of Dukes mayo, thick sliced bologna, spicy pork rinds, another
tub of pimento cheese, double-stuffed moon pies, RC colas, and a couple loaves
of bread. I laugh as I put the groceries away as I imagine some Californian guy
named Ben, picking out all this southern junk for Dillon.

I’ve just got
done making the bed when Dillon reemerges with only a towel around his narrow
waist. He so lean and masculine, it takes my breath. He grabs up his suitcase
and walks back in the bathroom, as I stare at him until the door closes. He’s
back out moments later, with his mohawk freshly spiked and wearing only a pair
of distressed jeans, with his broad, nicely-defined chest on full display.

I perch on the
edge of the bed, watching him move around in my small space. I’m still hoping
I’m not dreaming. I discreetly pinch my arm and feel the sharp sting, so maybe
I am awake. His phone is going off, so he pauses to check it out. He punches at
the keys rapidly before placing it on the nightstand. Dillon looks over at me
and smiles as he catches me openly checking him out. Before I can decide to be
embarrassed, he eases over and kisses me like it’s our first time.

“Play me a song,
Mr. Guitar Man,” I whisper against his lips.

Without
hesitation, Dillon pulls the case on the bed and fishes out his electric-blue
guitar. He starts strumming the melody of “My Jewel,” his promise of a song,
and hums a few beats before he begins adding the lyrics. This song is number
one on the charts right now. It’s my favorite, and I realize immediately he has
changed the lyrics.

My Jewel

My life

I want you now

I want you always

Be mine now

Be my tomorrow

I’m not whole without you

Marry me now and let’s start our tomorrow

He stops playing
and places his guitar back in the case and returns with a ring box in his
hands. He sings softly,
I need you
completely
, as he opens the dainty box, showing me an elegant emerald and
diamond ring.

Always be my Jewel

Today and forever

He picks up my left
hand, kissing it before placing the ring on my finger. All the while, he
continues humming his promise of a song to me. A song that has bonded us
together all these years. He stops humming and waits.

“Yes,” I
whisper, causing him to pull me up in his lap and kiss me with abandon.

I pull away from
him after a spell and run my hands along the bare sides of his heads. “Only if
you grow your hair back,” I say seriously, making him laugh.

“Blame this hair
on Max.” Dillon smirks as he runs his hand through it. “I woke up one night
last week with the punk buzzing the side of my head with his clippers, with all
the jerks rooting him on. It was either go bald or the mohawk.” He shrugs his
shoulder as to say,
what can I do
?
“Max doesn’t know it yet, but he’ll be starting the tour with neon-green hair,”
he says, confidently. “Enough about that. This is our moment. I’ll grow my hair
back out if that’s what my fiancée wants,” he says with his deep-blue eyes
sparkling. He nuzzles into my neck and croons, “My Jewel,” before he begins
singing our song to me again, in delicate whispers in my ear. Him holding me
and serenading, I’m definitely in my happy place.

We hibernate in
the bed for the remainder of the day. Dillon seems totally wiped out. He said
they’ve been working around the clock to get ready for the upcoming tour. So I
spend most of the day either watching him sleep or watching him do some
business on his phone. It rings several times, but he refuses to answer any of
them. He keeps sending texts, letting the person know what they need answered.
I love that he’s not sharing this time with anyone but me.

The sun is
setting now as he types something else in his phone. I’m stretched out beside
him, admiring my gorgeous ring. It’s not too flashy but definitely makes a
statement. A nice-sized square emerald surrounded by sparkly diamonds and set
in a platinum gold band, it fits perfectly. I absolutely love that it’s not a
traditional diamond solitaire. Of course, my man would come up with something
unique to us.

Once he’s done,
he says, “Everything is set,” before turning towards me. His vibrant
purplish-blue eyes are sparkling and his dimples are on full display. I love
him so much it makes me feel weepy. I thought maybe it was just the whole
teenage first love feelings we had, but now he’s back and those feelings have
never left me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Dillon Bleu is my soul
mate. I skim my fingertips over those dimples that have been such a sweet spot
in my life for as long as I can remember. All of the good memories of my young
life include this man, and I can only dream there will be so many more.

He turns his
head and kisses the palm of my hand before scooping me in his arms. He
whispers, “I need you completely, Jewels. Will you be with me completely?” His
voice is strained with his emotions.

I whisper a yes
against his lips, making him crush me in his embrace. He lays me back down,
hovering over me. “I’m serious, Jillian,” he says, not using my nickname. I
know he’s serious. He pulls something else out of his guitar case and places it
on the bed beside us. That’s when I completely understand what he desires.
Nervous as I am in this moment, there’s no way I can refuse this man anything.
If this is what he really wants, then I absolutely want it too.

“Yes,” I whisper
again.

Chapter Eleven

Morning light filters in our small
cabin, as we hold each other tight. It’s our last private day being cocooned
away together, and I’m reluctant to let it go. I want this man all to myself
and to never share him again. Last night was amazing, and I want to revel in it
for as long as I can.

I’m kissing
along Dillon’s neck, when there’s a knock on the door. He kisses me once more
before climbing out of the bed, wrapping a blanket around his waist. He cracks the
door slightly, exchanging a few hushed words before pulling another coffee tray
and white bag in with him. He closes the door and heads back over. This
delivery system of his is pretty handy.

“We’ve got to
get the lead out soon, pretty girl,” he says as he hands over a coffee.

“I’ve got to
square a few things away and go beg Aunt Evie to let me go.”

He hands me a
muffin and quickly devours one himself. “No worries. She’s a smart woman. She
had to have known it was coming. You’re a grown woman.” Dillon winks as he
starts rummaging his bag for clothes. “A mighty fine woman.”

“She’s going to
kill me.” The reality is setting in that my life will rapidly become anew as
soon as I walk through those ordinary doors later today and into something
extraordinary.

Dillon drops the
outfit he just fished out of his bag and crawls back on the bed with me. He
kisses me until I forget my worries. Leaving me breathless, he disappears to
shower. I continue to lay here while listening to him sing in the bathroom.

I’m not ready to
face this new life yet. Yes, I’m scared. What will Aunt Evie do without me?
Sure, we’ve got great staff now, but I don’t want her stressing over it. On the
nightstand, Dillon’s phone dings to alert another incoming message. His phone
never quietens, I’m learning quickly. I reach over to check it.
Dude—Mom loaded up—bus ready to roll out
.

I finally get up
and start packing a bag. Dillon assured me that we can make a trip back in a
few weeks to gather the rest of my stuff, so I’m just packing clothes and
toiletries for the first leg of the tour. He promised to buy me whatever I may
need along the way. I’m holding him to that one, because I really don’t have
much in the way of clothes except the jeans and T-shirts I wear daily as my
work uniform.

I’m tossing
shirts in the suitcase when Dillon eases behind me and laces his arms around my
waist. “I love you,” he whispers in my ear.

He smells beyond
incredible, so I turn around and take a deep inhale of his neck. “Mmm…I love
you too.”

“You got to get
that fine butt of yours in gear, babe.” He pats me on the part in question
before releasing me. He pulls a beanie out of his suitcase and pulls it over
his unruly hairdo. When he looks back at me, his eyes seem to be glowing with
excitement. He is so breathtaking in a mere grey thermal shirt and dark jeans.
He could wear a brown burlap sack and still be mouthwatering.

I finally find
my voice after staring. “I know. You got a text saying it’s time to pull out. I
can’t believe you’ve been here for three days and I’ve not seen the twins yet.”

“I ordered them
to leave us alone. The group hasn’t changed much. The twins are still too bony
and too much trouble. You’ve got plenty of time to catch up,” he says as he
zips up his own suitcase. “I’m going to load my stuff and be back for yours in
a little while.” After giving me one more kiss, he is out the door. “You’ve
made me the happiest man in this world, Jewels,” he says before closing the
door. I smile as I look out the window and watch him saunter away.

A few minutes
later, I have the suitcase and a travel bag packed and placed on the porch,
waiting to be picked up. I’ve just made my way back in when there’s a knock on
the door. I hurry back over, thinking I’m to greet who I’m guessing to be Ben,
retrieving my bag. I’m a bit shocked to see Cora instead. The look on her face
makes me instantly worried. It’s not a look of happiness. She’s finally freed
of this place, but seems upset instead.

“Is it time to
go?” I ask, not knowing what else to say.

She just stands
there, chewing on whatever she’s about to spit out, and now my stomach is
beginning to hurt with dread.

“Just say it,
Cora.” I believe in ripping Band-Aids off in one quick snatch and not drawing
out the inevitable.

“You need to
stay here,” she says as her features seem remorseful, but not quite. “He’s just
getting his start. Now’s not the time to introduce a girlfriend.”

I hold up my
hand with the engagement ring. “I’m more than that and you know it.”

She eyes it and
then shakes her head. “Dillon needs a good chance. He deserves better…” She
pauses. “He deserves better than this place.”

“I know this.” I
agree he absolutely does. This is the only thing she and I have ever seen eye
to eye on. Dillon Bleu deserves the world and more. I watch her cautiously as
she still stands at the door, not entering. Good. She doesn’t plan on staying
long.

“Do you love
him, Jillian? I mean,
really
love
him?” she asks. She’s talking down to me like I’m a child. She’s always done
this, but now it’s really rubbing me wrong.

“More than
anything,” I reply as the first few tears of anger and hurt slide down my face.
I should have known better…

“Then let him
go.”

I feel as though
I’ve been punched in the stomach. Bile rises in my throat. “But…”

Cora looks me
dead in the eyes without any hesitation. “He deserves better than this,” she
says as she motions around towards the trailer park.

And suddenly I
get it. I hear it hidden in her words. She’s really saying that Dillon deserves
better than
me
. I’m not good enough. She’s
never thought I was good enough for her son, but to hear her finally vocalize
it really stings.

She knows I get
it too, so she pushes on. “If you go, you will only be holding him back. He’s
not even twenty yet. Really, the boy can’t see through his lust for you long
enough to see how he is endangering his career. It would have only taken them
half the time to make it, if he weren’t so busy worrying about you over the
last few years.”

I’m shaking my
head. I don’t see how that can be true. He’s not visited once in that time and
I’ve not bothered him. Only sporadic phone calls and letters. Yet here she
stands, blaming me. Always blaming me. This time, I defend myself. “I won’t
hold him back.”

“Yes, you will,
even if you don’t mean to. Let him go and be free from this place.” I’m shaking
my head adamantly. She goes in for the kill. “We all know you were secretly
with my son when he was underage.” She lets that sink in. I almost laugh at
this. She’s trying to make it sound like a sixteen and eighteen-year-old couple
is something inappropriate.

“We’re both
legal adults now,” I snap. I hate her for trying to make what Dillon and I have
into something wrong.

“The papers
won’t see it that way. They will see an adult woman taking advantage of an
underage boy. You know how the papers would love to twist that around until you
are painted as a pedophile.”

Her words make
me sick. “You wouldn’t do that.”

“I will do
whatever it takes for Dillon to be rid of the trash in his life. He deserves
better. This is not the life for him.” The hate in her eyes is evil, and I have
no doubt she will follow through with her threat. I can’t chance ruining
Dillon’s life that way.

I’ve heard all I
want to hear so I slam the door in her hateful face. I can’t look at her for
another minute. Her truthful words are ripping me apart. I know I’m not good
enough, but for some reason I thought his love for me and my love for him could
be enough. Dillon seems to think so. Maybe we are both still too young and too
stupid to be making the decisions we thought we were ready to make. I just… I
shake my head at myself and the empty room. I cannot be his regret.

I scribble on a
piece of paper,
Last night was a mistake.
You need to move on
, and leave it on the counter. Tears are plopping
thickly on the note as I place the ring on top of it. I grab my bags, load up
the Mustang, and peel out of the maintenance exit before anyone can stop me. I
can’t be here when he shows back up. I can’t face him. I can’t tell Dillon Bleu
goodbye…