H. A. Carter (12 page)

“Drop the weapon!” I heard in muffled slow
motion as I pressed the gun harder against the roof of my
mouth.

They knew just as well as I that I would do
no such thing. It didn't matter what decision I made, either way,
it was going to be the same ending. I closed my eyes tighter,
letting the shiny silver orbs of wet tears encompass my darkened
vision. I breathed deeply through my stuffy nose, taking my last
great breath of air, and readied my soul.

Then, I do the same thing I have done every
day for the last three years since being thrown mercilessly into
the pits of Hell. Allowed only torturous bitter memories for
companions. Rejected from Heaven. Rejected from Joanna and forced
to relive that day forever...

My steady bony finger squeezed slowly back on
the firm trigger as tears of sorrow and joy fell unrelenting down
my face.

I'm coming, Jo.

I'm sorry, Mother.

BANG!!

John opened his eyes slowly, disbelieving the
reality of his continued existence if not for the immense throbbing
igniting from the back of his head. He rubbed his head roughly over
the developing bump protruding from his skull the size of a marble.
He looked forlorn as he realized he truly had been spared. The
chaotic cafeteria now ablaze with police and paramedics running
from person to person in hopes of finding more survivors than
victims. John watched with confused sickness in the pit of his
stomach. He knew he should have been lying cold on the floor
instead of warm and alive before the lifeless blood-covered bodies
of his friends. He stared unrelenting at Harvey's still body,
sprawled aimlessly across Joanna's lifeless form. He took Joanna,
but he wouldn't take me. Painful rejection washed over John's heart
as he realized how alone he was now.

He patted his broken heart and felt a slight
unusual bulge in his breast pocket. Reaching inside, he pulled out
an over-folded piece of worn paper. The writing had been erased and
rewritten so much that it was difficult to make out what was left
and what had been rethought. John soon recognized the handwriting
and burst into sobs of regret.

Dear John,

I'm leaving you this letter because I will
never get a chance to explain myself in person for what happened
today. I want you to know, no matter what, you have always been my
friend. You are a good person, and I hope one day you will forgive
me for what I've done. JJ has committed a horrible act of evil that
is both unholy and unspeakable. That is why I have killed him. He
took away my soul, and that is why I have killed myself. I never
imagined I would be taking a life, but there is no other way I can
see fit to assure he is punished for his crimes. Now, all I ask of
you is to look after my mother because she is alone, look after
Joanna because she is my heart, and make sure JJ's cruelty is kept
buried from the world because he is my brother.

Forever your friend til the end,

Harvey