Haeven (14 page)

Despite my reservations Artur proved to be
an excellent teacher.  He was witty and fun and understood
that there were some things I would grasp quicker than others. He
also seemed to anticipate my limitations and knew which approach
would work best in order for me to learn whatever lesson he
intended to teach me. 

Other than Penny he was the only other
person I felt relatively at ease with and I was anxious and eager
to impress him as a student.  I never completely got over my
fear of him; the night he told me what Herrik had done and how
upset he was for all the trouble I had caused still lingered in the
back of my mind and I was determined never to rouse his anger
again.  As a result I accepted all his ideas and
recommendations as to what I should study.  Unfortunately
Artur misconstrued this for an eagerness to learn and as a result
he began to work me harder and harder each day. 

There were a number of times that I wished I
could speak up and tell him that I felt overwhelmed by the workload
but I could never find the courage.  Studying so hard only
contributed to my sleepless nights and my inability to eat more
than a few scanty bites here and there.  Coupled with the
misery I felt from missing my family and the physical pain that
Avery and Carah persistently inflicted on me during our training
sessions my despair was leading me to believe that I just wasn’t
capable of living in their strange, preternatural
world.  

I did my best to keep a happy exterior but I
was so exhausted and mentally taxed by the time Artur sent me home
at night that Penny couldn’t help noticing that something was
seriously wrong.  When she asked I shrugged and said I wasn’t
really sure; that I was just tired.

After a few similar days like this in a row
she privately implored Artur not to overwork me and insisted that
despite my readiness to learn I needed time to rest, relax, to be
young and have fun, too.

His answer to her concern was simple and
dismissive, “Herrik has approved of everything in her schedule and
Emily has made no complaints.”

That night when I went home I could barely
keep my eyes open through dinner and as soon as I finished eating I
asked to be excused so I could take a shower and get ready for
bed. 

“Of course,” Penny reached across the
kitchen table and caressed my hand in understanding. 

I trudged to my room utterly weak and
weary.  I managed my shower but had to sit down for a few
minutes halfway through.  I didn’t know why but I was crying,
sobbing uncontrollably, shaking with exhaustion and that strange
emotional deprivation you feel when you honestly believe that no
one in the world cares about you. 

When I went to bed I lit the candles in each
of the holders Herrik had given me and slipped beneath the
covers.  For the first time since I could remember I
slept.  I slept and I dreamt. In my dream I was someone else,
someone who seemed quite familiar with the compound and the layout
of the garden and all its paths.

It was nighttime, or the edge of nighttime
very close to dawn and as I wandered through the garden I realized
that the path I was on was the one that would lead me to Herrik’s
door.  I seemed confident, like this was something I had done
quite frequently and that there was a purpose to wherever it was I
was going.  I strode through the door to his apartment and
down the hallway that led to the oval meeting room.  After
walking up to one of the panels I pressed my palms flat against it
and the entire panel popped open to reveal an elevator
door. 

I punched the button I knew would call the
car and waited patiently until the door slid open.  It was
much smaller than the main elevator beyond the garden – designed to
carry maybe one or two people only.  After I stepped inside I
reached out and pressed a button on the control panel that was set
apart at the top from all the others.  It had a strange symbol
on it, like a hieroglyph or some other ancient text. 

I leaned against the back wall while the
elevator went up and watched the light indicating the number of the
floor flashing on the screen above the door.  Eventually the
garage floor lit up but the elevator didn’t stop.  A minute or
more passed and still the garage floor was lit but the elevator did
not stop and the door did not open.  Then I felt the car
slowing and finally the light changed and the strange symbol lit up
on the display. 

When the door opened and I could see out of
the elevator it appeared similar to the receiving areas at the
entrance to the apartments but the door rather than being directly
in front of me was up a short flight of stairs and built into the
ceiling.  I knew the code and punched it into the
keypad.  The door swung upward and open and there above me was
the night sky dotted with stars and dappled with clouds
crisscrossing before a sliver of the moon.

“Ah,” I felt myself, or whoever I was
sighing and taking in the night air.

It was such a vivid dream, such a realistic
experience that I woke up with a start.  It filled me with
longing and I immediately hopped from my bed determined to find out
if such a thing existed.  I quickly dressed and hurried from
my room. 

“Avery!” I thought to myself as I reached
for the handle on the front door. 

I used Herrik’s trick and cloaked my mind
then cautiously pulled the door open inch by inch.  Much to my
amazement he wasn’t there.  Neither was Carah.  I scanned
all that I could see around the perimeter of the apartment and
realized that I was all alone.  It was hard to make out the
paths in the dim light but I tried to imagine that it was daytime
and I was on my typical morning stroll which would take me to the
pond. 

Before I knew it I was there and weaving my
way around the water's edge to Herrik’s apartment.  “My door
is always open,” he had said and sure enough the handle turned
quite easily.  I pulled the door wide enough to squeeze
through and slipped into Herrik's apartment.

Once I was inside it took a moment to get my
bearings but I managed to find my way to the hallway that would
bring me to the meeting room.  Surprisingly I had no fear at
that point.  I didn’t worry about being caught or getting in
trouble or have any thought really other than to get to the
elevator and get outside.

I found the panel and called the car. 
Everything was exactly as I had dreamt it would be.  Up and up
I went, soon the garage floor lit up and for a long, drawn-out
moment it stayed lit.  Then finally the strange symbol
brightened and the elevator came to a stop. 

Smiling I stepped into the receiving area
and walked up the stairs.  I closed my eyes and pictured the
code then entered it into the keypad. 

“Oh,” I gasped completely elated when the
door swung open.

I had to blink and shade my eyes.  It
was so bright and sunny.  It wasn’t dawn as I had imagined it
in my dream.  It seemed to be just the opposite; late
afternoon or early dusk.  The air was cool, crisp and
fall-like.  I took a deep breath and climbed the rest of the
way out. 

When my eyes adjusted and I could finally
withstand the brightness I spun around and took in the entire
scene.  I was in a small field on what I imagined to be the
summit of the canyon where Herrik’s compound was.  There was
nothing all that remarkable about it.  It was level and grassy
and there was only one tree with an expanse of foliage that seemed
just ready to change into its autumn color and a large boulder that
rested precariously close to the edge where the field suddenly
dropped off.

For a long while all I could do was wonder
at the idea that I was outdoors.  Then I explored the
perimeter of the field and looked over the edge of the plateau I
was on.  The sides leading up to the field were rough-looking
with very little slope to them but there was a small section of the
ground that had some well-worn tire tracks in it and when I
investigated the area I saw that there was a gravel road of
sorts.  Other than the elevator it was likely to be the only
way anyone could have gotten from the canyon up to where I was
standing.

The sun began to set and I decided to enjoy
the sight while I considered my circumstances.  I walked to
the edge of the summit and sat on the boulder with my feet dangling
down towards the canyon below.  The road seemed the safest
route if I wanted to escape.  I imagined myself following it
while keeping myself concealed among the weeds and shrubs that were
off to either side. 

“And then what?  Where would I go if I
actually managed to get beyond the compound and the canyon? 
How far is it to town?  Would I find anyone to help me once,
if
, I got there?”

In my mind I pictured a happy reunion with
my mother, father and brother.  I saw them clearly, welcoming
me home with hugs and tears of disbelief and joy.

It filled me with determination, “I’m going
home!” I thought and pushed myself to standing.

“
And what do you think will happen to you
and your family if you do?”

“Oh, God!” I suddenly remembered Herrik’s
warning.  I had nearly forgotten but the memory forced itself
to the surface of my mind. 

All my happy thoughts faded just like the
sun as it dropped lower and lower in the sky above me.

“I can’t leave!” my mind cried out in sudden
awareness. 

I was just as trapped by freedom as I was by
Herrik and his people.  I could never leave.

“But I can’t live like this either,” I told
myself and my mind clung to the notion with a tenacity that was
augmented by every other thought that followed.

All the horrible things that had happened to
me from the moment I met Daemon to where I found myself standing at
that particular instant replayed in my mind.  Then I realized
there was only one way to truly escape.  That incredible
loneliness I had felt in the shower swept over me again.  I
stood up and I closed my eyes.

“Emily!  Emily!  No!  Don’t!”
Herrik’s voice echoed across the field.

I involuntarily shook at the sound and lost
my footing.  I didn’t fall though.  Instead I felt myself
being tackled and found myself tumbling across the field crushed
against Herrik’s chest. 

When we stopped rolling and I realized what
had happened I cursed him over and over again while I struggled to
free myself. 

All the emotions I had been keeping so
carefully bottled up began to spill out. “Let me go!  I don’t
belong here! You’re all monsters!  Let me go!” I was filled
with determination to achieve the fate I had decided for
myself. 

Then suddenly my mind was not my own; I
couldn’t control my thoughts or actions.  Everything went limp
and lifeless.  My eyes closed and I felt Herrik lift me up and
begin walking towards the elevator.  There was a strange
lucidity to everything that occurred after that.  I was
conscious and aware of what was happening but completely
immobilized and unable to react to any of it.

I felt Herrik lips against my temple as he
carried me, “I’m sorry,” he whispered.  “This is my fault. I
should have known you weren’t well.  I should have known what
a poor substitute this is for the life you were meant to have.”

The elevator brought us down to his
apartment.  Artur and Avery, Carah and Penny were all gathered
in Herrik’s living room. 

Penny gasped and covered her mouth when she
saw us, “Is she…?”

“Where was she?” Artur questioned.

“Get out.  All of you.”

“We looked everywhere!” Carah
insisted.  “None of us could find any sense of her
anywhere.”

“GET OUT!”

Avery, Carah and Penny visibly cowed as they
all looked to Artur who nodded, “Bar the doors,” he said to Carah
and Avery.  Then he approached Herrik where he was standing
with me still in his arms, “Let me urge you to think carefully
before you do anything you might regret.”

“Leave!” Herrik insisted.

When they were all gone and Herrik was
certain we were alone he brought me to his bedroom and carefully
arranged me beneath the covers of his bed.  He began pacing
back and forth back and forth.  He stopped once or twice and
stared in complete confusion at me.  Soon afterwards he seemed
to come to some decision.  He drew a chair up beside the bed
and after wrapping his fingers in mine he laid the palm of his free
hand across my forehead.

Herrik carefully examined everything that
had led up to that moment.  Every horrific, restless night,
every unfinished meal, the fear, the unwelcome, my lessons; even
the dread that I had exposed his cover-up to Carah and the anxiety
I felt for himself and the others that were each involved.

“Oh, Emily,” he squeezed my fingers when it
was over and he had seen enough.  “What have I done?  I
am the one who should be begging you for forgiveness not the other
way around.”  He bent his lips to my ear, “Come with me,” he
whispered.

The world fell away.

I seemed to wake up, my eyes fluttered and I
yawned and stretched.  Herrik was the first thing I saw. 
He was standing to the right of a fireplace with a roaring blaze
crackling in its grate.  He was facing towards me but his head
was bowed while he stared in consternation at the floor.  I
sat up and looked around the room trying to recall where I was and
how I had gotten there.  There was a luscious, sheepskin throw
wrapped loosely around me and I ran my fingers over the soft fibers
as I urged it down around my waist.

Other than the sizzle and pop from the fire
it was utterly quiet and peaceful.  My eyes fell on one of the
windows.  The curtains were drawn back and I could see that it
was snowing outside which added to the hush of the cabin we were
apparently in.

“Herrik,” I softly called when I realized he
hadn’t noticed that I was awake.