Hate Me Today (Save Me #3) (12 page)

Vanessa

I roll to my other side, pulling the blanket over my head to block out the sun and try to get comfortable but nothing is working. My phone rings from my bunk, "Stuck in a Rut" by Burn Halo tells me it’s my parents. I don’t move to get it. I don’t have the energy to move, let alone deal with them right now.

The music stops short and for a second I think maybe they gave up this time, but I give up hope when I hear Jason’s voice. His footsteps fall heavily against the bus floor and stop near me.

“Vanessa,” he whispers and drags the blanket away from my face. I glare up at him. “Parents are on the phone.”

I don’t say anything but I grab the phone from him, flipping over again as he walks away. The migraine radiates through my head with the sudden movement. I stifle a whimper and say hello.

My mother’s sickly sweet voice filters through the speaker. “Vanessa, what’s wrong?”

No greeting, strictly straight to the point.

“Nothing,” I lie and search through my bag to find my migraine medication, popping one as soon as I get my hands on the bottle. “I was sleeping. What’s up?”

“Don’t lie now. You’re father says you’re blood counts have been low two times in a row now and you’ve needed transfusions both times,” she clears her throat. “I think it’s time you come home.”

I shoot up in the chair, regretting it when my head starts to pound. “Invasion of privacy much?” I snap, massaging my temple with my free hand.

“Not at all. You’re our daughter, we have a right to know about your health.” She sounds stumped as to why I would think this is an invasion.

“No, actually you don’t. Not the way you go about finding it out anyway. What do you think the hospital would say if they found out Daddy was checking my hospital records when I’m not his patient?”

“We have to find out somehow, Vanessa. You don’t even call us anymore.” She keeps talking but I’m past the point listening anymore because her voice is making my head throb.

I take a deep breath so I don’t completely freak out on her. “I’m an adult. You have no legal right to be in my files. If I wanted you to know my counts were off, I would have told you.”

“We think it’s time for you to stop pretending and come home,” she says calmly.

“Stop pretending about what?”

“Stop pretending that this singing thing is going to land you anywhere but rehab or dead. We see the tabloids and hear what people are saying about how crazy you’re going. We almost lost you already, I don’t want to have to go through all that again.”

There it is. Everything is about them and what they have to go through or how people will see them.

“Well,” I sigh, “since I’m an adult, you don’t get a say in what I do. I won’t be coming home so you can watch every move I make. I get that you are worried. I understand that. Really, I do
, but if you think I’m going to walk away from this just because you tell me to, you need a wakeup call. I’d rather go out doing something I love than sitting at home having someone hovering over me every second of the day.”

“You call yourself an adult but young lady, your behavior is anything but. The adult thing would be to come home and get your health straightened out.”

Who the hell does she think she is? “I only see one option here.”

“Me too. When should we expect you home?”

I laugh. I don’t mean to but in my head I can see her sitting in her straight back chair, her perfectly manicured hand resting on her dress pants, thinking she is right and that vision makes me laugh.

“You shouldn’t, and if I find out
Daddy is in my medical files again, I will not only report him but I will switch to a hospital that isn’t associated with his.”

Her sharp intake of breath as I disconnect the call has me regretting the way I spoke to her. I know they are my parents and I know they worry, it’s just sometimes I feel like they only want me home so they get sympathy from their friends. Like,
"Hey look, our freak of a daughter is sick. Please feel sorry for us.".

I don’t want
anyone’s sympathy.

Tossing my phone onto the table, I grab my sneakers from beside the chair, happy that the medication has finally started to kick in because I need off this bus in the worst way possible.

“Sorry.”

I turn and find Jason leaning against the counter, arms crossed over his bare tattooed chest. I have to keep reminding myself that we agreed to try to just be friends for a while before we jump into anything but if I’m being honest with myself
, I just want to jump even though I know he’s still holding something back from me. Instead, I settle for walking away, telling him that he doesn’t have anything to be sorry for as I walk off the bus.

Across the road from the stadium we’re playing tomorrow is a park. I make my way over to it, laughing at the thoughts filtering through my head. Here I am trying to convince my parents that I am an adult and I’m headed to the park because all I want to do is swing. I want to feel carefree, like a kid again and forget everything that has gone on lately.

I lower myself into the hard plastic seat and let my fingers wrap around the cold chains. Pushing off, I pump my legs to get myself higher and let everything go as I lay out straight. My hair drags through the dirt with every pass but I don’t care about anything right now.

Jason

She told me she was OK. She said she would tell me if it got worse. I thought over the past few weeks that the friends thing was going well, so I don’t understand this. I watch her through the windows, giving her a few minutes to herself before I head across the road.

“I don’t get you,” I say once I finally reach the swing set she’s on.

She turns her head to the side, pe
eking at me from one eye as I shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans. “What don’t you get about me? I’m an open book, all you have to do is ask… or pay attention.”

I fall into the swing next to her, looking over the empty playground. “I don’t get why you would keep being sick from us. Fuck, from me. I thought we were doing al
l right.”

“I didn’t keep anything from you. I’ve been sick for years. There’s nothing new here other than the fact that I’m not airing my dirty laundry everywhere.”

“Don’t do that, Vanessa. Don’t just blow it off like it’s not a big deal. You told me you would tell me.”

Her feet drop to the sand under her, slowing her down so she can sit up. She rests her head against the chain, staring intently at me. “I did tell you, Jason. You’re the
only person I told. You were there! You held me while I broke down. There hasn’t been anything new since then.”

She stands up, walking a few steps in front of me and slides her hands into her back pockets.

“We have a radio spot in an hour. I didn’t come over here to piss you off, I just wanted to make sure you were OK and let you know about that.” I push off the ground, swinging back and forth, the chains creaking above my head.

“I can’t do this.”

I stop the swing thinking I might have heard her wrong. “What? What can’t you do?”

“I can’t do this… this friends shit; it’s not working. Just when I think I can be just your friend, you come at me like this, worrying about me and shit. Or I turn around and you’re half naked which makes it a hundred times worse. When you hated me it was easy because I didn’t know what I was missing out on but now I do.”

“Vanessa, turn around.” I wait until she’s looking at me before I say anything else. “What do you want? I just need you to tell me because you were the one that wanted to try this friends thing first. So what is it that you want?”

“You.”

“Then what the hell are you waiting for? You said friends but I’ve wanted to do nothing but kiss you again since the second you said it. If you want something, don’t ask permission, just go for it.”

In three steps she’s standing in front of me, my thighs braced against the outside of hers. She leans into me, wrapping her hands around the chains just below mine, her breath hitting my skin.

I drop my hands, fingers skimming over her thighs until I wrap my hands around them and lift her so she’s straddling me. Her legs wrap around me, draping over the back of the swing. Vanessa’s body trembles when I slide along the hem of her shirt, settling my hands on her ass.

Vanessa’s arms wrap around my neck, her fingers threading through the hair on the back of my head.

“You better kiss me right this sec-”

She cuts me off, slamming her lips against mine. I slide my tongue along hers slowly. Vanessa whimpers, her hips rock
ing against me. I lift the edge of her shirt, slipping my hands up her smooth back, holding her to me while she kisses me.

Vanessa slows, backing off until she’s barely touching my lips.

“Do we have to do this radio thing?” she pouts and I pull her lip back between mine. “Because I would much rather just keep doing this.”

I laugh
, "As much as I really would like to keep doing what we’re doing, the guys are waiting for us to leave for this interview."

~*~*~*~

“No, shut up you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Vanessa throws her head back and laughs at whatever Devon and Jack just said, the headphones almost falling off her head. It’s probably the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen her do. As much as I should look away, I can’t seem to tear my eyes away from her.

“
OK,” the guy on the other side of the booth speaks back up. I don’t remember his name, I’ve been too busy watching Vanessa. “We’ll let you slide on that question. Here’s the next one. How did the switch up at the concerts happen? The fans seem to love it.”

I slide my fingers along Vanessa’s tan bare thigh under the table. She swivels the chair a tiny bit in my direction so I don’t stop. The corner of her mouth perks up as she answers the question.

“I actually didn’t even know Jason could sing until we were messing around on the bus one day and he busted out "Striptease" by Hinder. I called him out on stage at the next show. He resisted a bit but we got the crowd into it and he caved. Everyone loved it so much that we just kept it going. We know the crowd is mostly country even though we cross over and this gives them a taste of a bunch of different types of music.”

My fingers inch up her leg, seeing how far she will let me take this before she stops me.

Thank God for this table
.

“Last time you guys were here, you weren’t this relaxed and happy. What’s changed? Because you can definitely tell there’s something different in the shows and interviews lately.”

Vanessa looks at both Jack and Devon before turning and smiling at me, pulling my hand away from the edge of her skirt.

“I guess we just finally found our groove. Last time Jason was coming straight off the last Thirty Ought Six tour and it was our first time touring. We were just thrown onto a bus and had to deal with each other and I think we just clashed at first but we got it figured out this time.”

The guy asks a few more questions, directing them mostly toward Jack and Devon but I’m too busy looking at my hand on Vanessa’s tan thigh to even notice what they’re talking about. I don’t even realize they’re talking to me until Jack reaches over Vanessa and punches me in the shoulder.

My head snaps up, meeting Vanessa’s laughing eyes. I reluctantly drop my hand from her leg so I can concentrate.

The DJ chuckles, “As I was saying… Is there a big difference between touring with Thirty Ought Six and touring with these guys?”

I have to think about it for a second. “Not really. I mean, yeah, there’s a big difference in the crowd from a rock concert to a mostly country one but there’s just as much work, just as much passion that we all put into it. But other than that it’s not much of a difference.”

We wrap up the interview and are rushed into the SUV waiting for us. I push Vanessa into the third row, slamming the door before anyone else has even gotten to the truck and tackle her against the seat.

“I think you were teasing me in there.” I slide my lips down her neck and across the swell of her breasts. My hand grips the edge of her skirt, toying with the frayed fabric. “I think you wore this just to get to me.”

Vanessa pushes me back, pulling until I meet her lips and she moans when her tongue hits mine. I’m rock hard against her thigh and I know it’s not going to change anytime soon.

She laughs when I pull back. “It worked, didn’t it?”

“You’re goddamn right it worked. The entire fucking time we were up there all I wanted to do was haul you out and peel it off of you.”

I start to say more but fists bang off the windows, Jack yells something about putting it back in my pants before we’re late for whatever we’re supposed to be doing next. I can’t concentrate on anything except the taste of Vanessa’s lips.

“’Bout fucking time assholes. Now bang it out before you both combust.”

Vanessa reaches up, flicking Jack in the ear once he settles into the seat in front of us. “Don’t be a dick.”

When she leans back I pull her into my side, wrapping my arm around her. Her head settles against my chest, hand on my thigh. The side of her hand grazes the head of my dick and I tense up.

Vanessa chuckles. Rolling her head back she kisses my neck. “Do you have a problem?”

As much as I want her to keep touching me I pull her hand away so I don’t end up attacking her in a car full of people. I clear my throat and settle my lips against her ear. “One you are definitely not helping. Behave or I’ll make you take care of it right here, right now.”

I swear her body shudders at my words, leaving me wondering what the hell is going through her head. When she turns her head away she whispers, “Promises, promises.”