Healing Rain (18 page)

 

 

“Happy birthday, Rain!” brought me out of my sleep on Tuesday morning. I opened my eyes to find Mom and Tyler hovering over me with big smiles plastered across their faces.

“Okay, that was officially the creepiest wake-up call I have ever gotten in my life,” I mumbled as I shoved my pillow over my face.

Mom laughed as she pulled the pillow off of me. “Get up! We made you breakfast, and there's a surprise for you in the kitchen.”

“Is the surprise that I can stay home and sleep instead of going to school?” I had just started to finally sleep pretty well throughout the night, and I felt like I had months of catching up to do. It had become hard for me to get up and get ready for school when my alarm went off.

“No,” Tyler said as he pulled on my arm. “Come see.”

I dragged myself slowly into the kitchen, where I saw a couple of presents sitting on the table. I then turned and saw Ethan standing in the corner of the room with a huge smile on his face.

“Ethan!” I said with a jump. “What are you doing here?” Suddenly, I was wide awake and very much aware of what I looked like. I was still in my pajamas, I had no makeup on my face, and my hair was pulled messily into a ponytail on top of my head.

“Surprise!” he said as he came closer to me. “Happy birthday.” He leaned towards me and gave me a hug and a quick kiss on the forehead. I had never been so relieved to have my mom and Tyler in the room with me so that he wouldn't kiss me on the lips – I knew I desperately needed to brush my teeth before I could let him do that.

Mom began putting plates on the table filled with basically every possible breakfast food that existed. There were plates of pancakes, French toast, bacon and sausage links, scrambled eggs, and assorted muffins. She then got out a pitcher of orange juice and a jug of milk. “Mom, you must have gotten up at, like, four o'clock in the morning,” I said as I stared at the feast in amazement. “This looks great.” I knew she had gotten home late from work the night before, so she had to be exhausted.

“Sit down and eat, everyone,” she said with a big smile. Her face was practically glowing as we all sat down and began filling our plates. She looked like the mom I used to know – the mom that always cooked and loved entertaining. I knew she was reliving our happier past as she watched everyone start to eat.

After we were all stuffed, Tyler brought over one of the presents. “Open mine first, Rain.”

I smiled as I opened the small box. Inside was a silver necklace with a little charm that said “#1 Sister.” Tyler stood there anxiously, looking so proud as I took it out of the box. “This is perfect, Tyler. I'll wear it all the time.” I put it on to prove my point, even though I could tell it was cheaply made and would probably turn my skin green. He glowed as I gave him a big hug.

“I picked it out all by myself!” he said, beaming with pride.

Next, Mom handed me the other present that sat on the table. This box was also small, but it was shaped differently and felt a lot heavier than Tyler's gift. I opened it to find a cell phone! “Mom, how…” I began, but remembered Ethan's presence and stopped. “You didn't have to do this.”

She smiled and shook her head. “Yes, I did. You need one. This was kind of a selfish gift; I always felt safer when you were out running around when you had one.”

I gave her a huge grin before I jumped up and hugged her. “Thanks Mom!” Then I whispered in her ear, “Are you sure about this?”

She gave me a slight nod and a wink as I pulled away from her. “Happy birthday, kiddo,” she said.

I looked back and forth between the two of them. “Thank you both so much. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go get ready before Ethan takes a closer look at me and runs out the door.”

Ethan laughed. “Wait, you haven't opened mine yet,” he said as he pulled a small box out of his pocket.

I frowned. “Ethan, you gave me my present already. The movies, remember?”

He smiled as he walked over to me. “I have one more thing. It's nothing big. Just open it.”

I suddenly felt my mom's and Tyler's eyes on me, and wished we were alone. “You didn't have to,” I whispered as I smiled at him and tore open the pink wrapping paper on his box. I opened it to find a small silver ring with a pearl in the middle. On either side of the pearl were three tiny diamonds. I really didn't wear rings on a regular basis, but I couldn't wait to put this one on; it was gorgeous.

“Wow, Ethan, this is so beautiful! It's so unique,” I said as I held it up to get a closer look.

“Like you,” he said with a smile. “I haven't really seen you wear rings at all so I wasn't sure if you really liked them, but something just made me think you of you when I saw it. If you don't like it, I saved the receipt so you could take it back and get something else.”

“No, I love it. Really.” I wasn't sure what the ring meant exactly, as far as our relationship went, but I knew I would definitely never take it off. I hesitated as I tried to decide which finger to put it on – aren't there meanings attached to certain fingers? – but the only finger it really fit was my middle finger. I decided that was probably a safe finger to put it on since I had never really heard of a middle finger ring
meaning
anything in particular, and I didn't want Ethan to think that I was taking the ring to mean something that he didn't intend for it to mean. But, on the other hand, if he
did
intend for it to mean something, I also didn't want him to think that I thought it didn't. Geez. Relationships could be so complicated.

I let my mom admire the ring for a couple of minutes before I fled to my room to get ready. It was almost time to go to school, so I only got to throw on jeans and a T-shirt and redo my messy ponytail before I brushed on a little powder and ran back into the living room. “Okay, I'm ready to go. Thanks again, Mom,” I said as I slid my new cell phone into my purse and gave her a quick hug.

“You're welcome,” she replied. “Have a great day today. I'll be at work by the time you get home from school, so I'll just see you when I get home tonight.”

Ethan, Tyler and I all rode to school with big smiles on our faces. I could feel that today was going to be a great day. I twisted my new ring around and around my finger and felt my stomach flutter. In my pocket I could feel the weight of my new cell phone. It seemed like the phone was a sign that things were starting to pick up financially at home.

I had one other thing in the back of my mind, and that was the second guitar lesson with Aiden that would take place after school. A whole week had passed, and I still wasn't able to completely escape the last one. On one hand, I was excited. I loved learning from Aiden and couldn't wait to see what was in store for today. On the other hand, I just couldn't let go of the song we sang together. His words still plagued my mind at random times throughout each day. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. We had seen each other each day in second period since then, and everything between us felt normal. Neither of us even mentioned the lesson or the song or anything else from that afternoon, and I hoped it would stay that way. But somehow, I had a feeling that when we were alone together in my room, it would come up again.

Despite my confusion, nothing was going to ruin the wonderful start to my day. After Anna made a big fuss over my birthday first hour, getting the entire class to sing to me, which was completely mortifying, I was anxious to get out of the room and get to second hour. I practically ran out of the room and down the hall to my next class. Anna was such a good friend and she had great intentions, but sometimes her bright perkiness was more than I could handle. Even though she had already given me the Pacers T-shirt as a birthday gift, she gave me a really great new pair of tennis shoes right before school started as a birthday present (“for cheering and tumbling” as she had explained, pointing out that the pair I usually wore was starting to fall apart), and I appreciated her thoughtfulness. I tried to keep that in mind when I wanted to strangle her during class.

Aiden was waiting in the classroom when I arrived, as usual. I sat down and gave him a quick smile as I caught my breath after my rush into the room.

“Hey, what's going on?” he asked casually.

“Nothing,” I said, still slightly out of breath.

“Did you run here or something?” he asked, giving me a strange look.

I laughed, finally feeling my breathing return to normal. “Yeah,” I admitted. “I was ready to get out of first period.”

He lifted his eyebrows. “Rough geometry test or something?”

I rolled my eyes. “I wish. No, it wasn't the class. Anna just embarrassed me, that's all.”

He smirked. “What did she do?”

“She made a big production out of my birthday and got the entire class to sing to me. It was no big deal, really, just slightly embarrassing.”

“Oh, today's your birthday?” he asked. “Why didn't you say anything?”

I shrugged. “It's just another day.”

He wagged his eyebrows up and down. “Maybe you need a ‘Happy Birthday' song reprise this hour.”

“Do it and I will make sure you pay,” I warned him just as the bell rang. He just laughed, and I crossed my fingers in hopes that his silence meant he wouldn't say anything. I had had all the singing I could handle for one day.

To my relief, he didn't mention my birthday all during class. When the bell rang, we got up and walked out of the room together, just as we did every single day. “We're still on for after school, right?”

He grinned. “You don't have any big birthday plans after school?”

I shook my head. “No. I kind of already had a small birthday celebration before school. Besides, I'm really excited to work with you today. It will probably be the highlight of my birthday.”

“Wow, that's sad,” he teased. “But yeah, we can still have a lesson. What ‘class project' are we going to work on today?”

I rolled my eyes at him, feeling guilty. He acted like he was joking around, but I knew that it hurt him a little to have to sneak around. “Just meet me at my locker after school.”

“See ya then. Oh, and happy birthday.” With that, we parted ways for our third period classes.

The rest of the day at school lasted forever. Every period seemed, for whatever reason, to drag on endlessly. On a positive note, no one else sang to me. Finally, the moment came that I thought would never happen, when the last bell rang and signaled that we could all finally go home. My body seemed to move as slowly as the day had gone as I trudged to my locker.

My pace picked up a little when I saw Ethan waiting there for me. He was standing against my locker with one leg resting against it, looking more gorgeous than ever. I had to catch my breath as his face lit up when I approached. It was hard to believe that after almost a month, my body still responded to just the sight of him like that. I tossled his slightly curly hair and kissed him on the cheek once I reached him.

He put his arms around my waist. “What do you want to do later to celebrate your birthday?” he asked.

“Ethan!” I said. “No more celebrating my birthday for you! You already came over this morning, and you spent way more money on me than you ever should have. You are officially done with your boyfriend birthday duty.” As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I froze and felt my face get warm. Had I really just referred to him as my boyfriend? He had never told me he wanted that title.

He definitely noticed my slip-up, and a slow smile crept over his face. I smiled back hesitantly, but I couldn't help but feel a little relief as I took his smile to be a good sign. Rather than acknowledging my blunder, he just said, “You don't get to decide how much
I
celebrate
your
seventeenth birthday. That's my decision. And I want to hang out with you tonight. Alone. Is that okay?”

“Well, it would be, if my mom wasn't working tonight and I didn't have to watch Tyler,” I reminded him.

“Oh, right. Well, can I come over tonight and hang out with you two?”

I grinned. “Sure, if you want to. I can make dinner.”

Ethan widened his eyes in mock horror. “
You
make dinner? On your birthday? No way. How about if I bring over a pizza or something? I don't want you cooking for me on your birthday.”

“Pizza sounds great,” I told him. Before I could ask what time he would be there, I saw Alexis approaching us cautiously. I glanced over his shoulder at her and gave her a quick smile before turning my attention back to Ethan. “I'll see you tonight, okay?”

“I'll be there,” he said. He started to turn around, but paused before he turned back to me. “Okay, I know I need to get to practice, but I just have to tell you that I really liked hearing you call me your boyfriend.”

“You did?” I asked nervously as Alexis came closer.

“Yeah. In fact, I think you should call me that all the time. What do you think?” he asked, looking into my eyes.

I forgot all about Alexis, who was almost right behind us by this time. “I think I would like that too.” The persistent butterflies I had in my stomach every time I was with Ethan danced even more out of control.

“Good. Rain, I…I know we haven't known each other very long, but…I think I might be in love with you.”

I don't know who was more shocked to hear those words – me or Alexis.

 

 

I was too speechless to respond, too busy staring at Alexis' hurt wide eyes. Ethan saw my frozen facial expression and looked over his shoulder to see what had me so captivated. He met Alexis' gaze and immediately put his head down into his hands, running the palms of his hands across his forehead.

I had to break the silence. “Hey, Alexis. What's up?” I attempted to sound casual, but knew I failed.

She shook her head quickly. “I was just gonna talk to you really quick, but I'll come back.” With that, her usual prissy face returned as she flipped her short blond hair and marched away.

Ethan turned back to me with a grimace. “She heard that, huh?”

I winced. “Yeah, she definitely heard that.”

He shrugged. “Well, honestly, I don't care. I mean, I would never purposely mean for her to hear me say that to you, but I meant what I said.”

“Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time,” I said with a sigh. “That must have broken her heart.”

He tilted his head and looked at me. “What do you care? She really isn't even nice to you.”

I gave him a little grin. “Actually, we were kind of starting to get along. I wouldn't say we were
friends
necessarily, but we were on that track.”

“Because of cheerleading?” he asked with a laugh.

I raised my eyebrows at him. “Yes, because of cheerleading. She's helping me out a lot.”

“Yeah, but I'm sure there's something in it for her,” he said with narrowed eyes. I smiled a little when I thought about her secret motivation that I hadn't told Ethan about. She
had
presented it as a selfish reason, but I saw through it. Or, kind of. Even though she made it seem as if her reasoning for helping me was purely for the good of the squad, I somehow just knew that she was attempting to accept me into the group, in her own weird little way. And my feelings of loathing I had initially felt toward her had melted away. I dare say I even kind of liked her, now that I had gotten used to her and understood her a little better.

I shrugged, still thinking about what I would say when she came back. “Oh well. I guess I'll just see you tonight, then?”

He kissed me on the forehead. “Yep. I'll be there around seven o'clock.”

“Sounds perfect,” I told him with a smile.

He hesitated slightly, but this time he didn't stop as he turned around to walk away. I almost stopped him to ask him what was wrong, but I let him go and watched him walk back down the hall toward the gym. Once he turned the corner, it hit me: he had just told me he loved me, and I didn't respond! I had been so caught up in Alexis that I didn't have a chance to say anything back. Ugh, I could have punched myself in the face as I thought about what must have been going through his head. Did he feel rejected? Was he regretting what he said?

Slowly, I took my homework out of my locker and put it into my backpack, but I couldn't even focus on what books I was supposed to bring home. I was too busy thinking about Ethan and Alexis. I knew, or I hoped, that Alexis was going to come back to my locker as she had said. Even though I wasn't sure what I was going to say, I really wanted to talk to her. It must have hurt her so much to hear those words come out of his mouth. As he had pointed out, we had only known each other a short time and he couldn't say those words to her after seven months.

I stared into my locker, my stomach fluttering. Ethan was in love with me. Hearing him say those words should have made me ridiculously happy; I had been falling for Ethan since the first day I met him. But something was bothering me – something more than just Alexis. The strange feeling in the pit of my stomach made my heart beat a little faster, and for whatever reason, an image of Aiden, sitting in the floor with his guitar, popped into my head. Again his words from last week echoed in my mind: “Something in my heart tells me that He's not through with you just yet.” Why did this statement invade my head so often? It had nothing to do with what had just happened…why was it in my mind
now
?

As if on cue, Aiden appeared at my locker. “You ready to go?” he asked with a carefree smile.

I suddenly remembered our guitar lesson. “Oh, Aiden, hey. Yeah, can we wait just a bit though? I'm kind of waiting to see if Alexis comes back to talk to me.”

Aiden raised his eyebrows and stared at me. “Seriously?” I hadn't gotten into a lot of detail with Aiden when it came to Alexis, but it wasn't exactly a secret in our small gossipy school that the two of us were not best friends. And he didn't have to openly admit it for me to know that he wasn't a huge fan of hers, either.

“Yeah. She needed to talk to me about cheerleading tryouts,” I said, trying to act like it was no big deal. I didn't want to tell him about the scene she had just witnessed.

“Cheerleading tryouts?” he asked with wide eyes.

“Yeah. I'm trying out for basketball season,” I said carefully. I didn't know why I suddenly felt embarrassed as I told him that.

He laughed. “Why?”

“Because I want to,” I said with a nervous laugh. “Why do you ask?”

He put his hands up in mock surrender. “Hey, if it's what you wanna do, knock yourself out. I'm just surprised, I guess. You just don't seem like the cheerleading type.”

I put my hand on my hip and smiled. “I cheered at my old school. What is the ‘cheerleading type', anyway?”

He grinned. “Girls like Alexis. Not cool girls like you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, maybe it's time the squad got some ‘cool girls like me,'” I said jokingly.

“Um, okay. Well, while we wait, can I give you your birthday present?”

“My birthday present? Aiden, you just found out my birthday was today, like, just a few hours ago. How could you have gotten me a present?”

He grinned. “Well, to be honest, when I got these, it wasn't going to be a birthday present. But now that I know it's your birthday, that's what they are.”

I furrowed my eyebrows but I was smiling. “Okay, now that I'm thoroughly confused, just tell me what it is.”

He pulled his hand out from behind his back to reveal two tickets. I grabbed them quickly to find that they were tickets to see Caged Lion! “Oh my gosh, Aiden!” I squealed as I gave him a huge hug. “You're really going to take me to see them?”

He laughed. “Yeah. Like I said, I got the tickets way before I knew it was your birthday, but I was going to ask you to go with me anyway. I wanted to make sure I saw them with someone who would appreciate just how awesome they are. I know you know all their stuff, including the older albums that a lot of people have forgotten about these days, so I thought you'd be the perfect date.”

I couldn't help but jump up and down. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” I screamed as I squeezed his hands. “I haven't been to a concert in a while and this will be the perfect show to welcome me back to the music scene!” I had always wanted to see them, but as a rock group in the underground scene, they didn't do a lot of big tours. My dad had introduced me to them when I was really young; I rocked out to Caged Lion when I was still in diapers.

Aiden was as excited as I was. “I know. I was totally pumped when I heard they were coming to Indy. It's so perfect that I got the tickets just in time for your birthday, too.” I studied the ticket as he described his Internet race to get the tickets the minute they had come out. He had ordered them two weeks ago and had just received them in the mail. The concert was coming right up – it was next Saturday night.

After his excited chatter ended, I heard him catch his breath. He looked down, his face suddenly thoughtful. I watched him as he seemed to struggle to find the words to say. “Aiden? What's wrong?” I asked.

He smiled. “Nothing. I was just wondering…I mean, I don't know…are you gonna be able to go?”

“Sure,” I said. “If Mom has to work, I'll get our neighbors to watch Tyler.”

He shook his head slowly. “That's not what I meant. I mean, is Ethan gonna care if you go to a concert with another guy?”

“No,” I said quickly, but then realized he may have a point. “Or, I don't think so.”

He sighed. “Maybe you should ask him before you get so excited. I know if you were my girlfriend, I wouldn't want you going out somewhere with some other guy.”

I shrugged. “I'll think of some way to explain it. I mean, it's not like it's a date or anything.”

“No, it's not,” he said softly, his bright eyes dimming. He looked down at the floor and bit the inside of his cheeks.

I glanced around the hallway, and we were the only ones left. Everyone else had gone home for the day, as I knew we should do. I thought about Tyler, who was probably wondering where I was by now, but something had just come over Aiden and I wanted to know what it was. Plus, I was still waiting to see if Alexis was going to come back.

“Aiden, what's wrong?” I asked him quietly. “Is there something going on?”

He shook his head. “No. Nothing you need to worry about.”

“Well, I am going to worry about it. If there's something wrong with you, I want to know. Maybe I can help.”

He laughed a little. “
You
definitely can't help me.”

I took a step back, feeling a little hurt. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, Rain,” he said with a half-smile. “Seriously, just don't worry about it.”

“No, Aiden,” I said, feeling a little anger rise. “We're supposed to be friends. Most of the time you're fine and we're having a great time, but then sometimes you get quiet and look upset. What is it? Is it something I'm doing wrong?”

He looked at me with amazement. “You really don't know, do you?”

“Know what?” I asked, exasperated.

He smirked. “Nothing, Rain. You're doing nothing wrong. You have your cheerleader friends and your football star boyfriend and your life is perfect. I'm just the secret friend you have on the side.”

I rolled my eyes. “Are we seriously going back to this discussion? I told you – it's not that I'm ashamed of hanging out with you. Me hiding our guitar lessons has nothing to do with you. You're one of the greatest guys I know. I seriously consider you to be one of my best friends. I'm closer to you than I am pretty much anyone else here. Even closer than I am with my ‘cheerleader friends and football star boyfriend,' in some ways.” I could hear the anger in my voice as it got slightly louder, but I didn't care. “And my life is far from perfect! You have no idea.” I stopped and looked away from him before the tears come could to my eyes. I knew it was wrong to get upset with him; he had every right to be mad at me for the way I treated our relationship. But if it bothered him so much, why was he still hanging out with me? And why would he want to take me to a concert?

Just as I was about to ask him those questions, he grabbed my arm gently. “Rain, did you hear what you just said?”

I looked at him, completely caught off guard. “Which part?”

He took a step closer as he took my other arm in his other hand. “The part about me being closer to you than anyone else here.”

“Yeah,” I said, feeling even more confused. “What about it?”

He shook his head as he smiled at me. “Doesn't that mean anything to you?”

“Okay, Aiden, you need to just tell me what you're getting at, because I don't understand this little puzzle you're trying to get me to solve,” I said in frustration.

He sighed incredulously. “You really don't, do you?”

I didn't even respond. I just looked at him expectantly, waiting on him to explain himself.

Finally, after a few moments of silence, he took a deep breath. “Look. I'm not going to pretend that I can compete with Ethan Collins. I can't. He's in a whole different league. At the same time, I'm not going to go on pretending that I only want to be your friend. Because the truth is, I don't. I have been completely infatuated with you from the moment I met you on the first day of school. I have never met any other girl like you. And last week, at your house, it just got stronger. When we sang together, I just got this
feeling
. We had a weird connection there, and I know you felt something, too. I know there's some stuff going on with you that for whatever reason, you don't want to tell me about, but this is just something I can't ignore anymore. There's a reason I feel this crazy link to you. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I have to find out.”

I stared at him, astounded. Though I heard every word he said, I couldn't put together any words to respond. As I stood there motionless, trying to gather my thoughts, he leaned in and kissed me.

I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't stop it. His lips were sweet and soft, and I was absorbed in it for the short moment that it lasted. It was completely different than Ethan's kisses, but I would be lying if I said it was horrible. I don't think I really even kissed him back – my brain was in too much shock as it tried to process the new information it was just handed.

When he pulled away, he let go of my arms and dropped his head. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that.” I didn't respond. I couldn't force my lips to move to even make a sound. “Look, maybe we should cancel our guitar lesson today. I should probably just go home and let you go home too.” Without waiting for my response, he turned and walked out the door.

I watched him walk away as my fingers moved automatically to my lips. I rested them there, still feeling the warmth of Aiden's lips on mine. Suddenly, I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye. I turned slowly to see what it was, and found Alexis standing a few feet away, staring at me with a wicked smile on her face.