Healing Rain (6 page)

Other than that, lunch actually went well. Melissa and Brooke asked me a lot of questions about growing up in St. Louis, and I managed to talk about it without discussing any events of the last few months. I wondered if Ethan had warned them that my dad died, because no one ever mentioned my parents or asked why I had moved here in the first place. I appreciated that.

Alexis listened to my responses while pretending to be uninterested. I could tell it bothered her that I was dominating the conversations, but I couldn't help it. Melissa and Brooke were full of questions about my old school and the city of St. Louis. The one time Alexis jumped into the conversation was when Ethan said, “You know, Rain was a cheerleader at her old school.”

Melissa and Brooke both lit up. They both began talking at once. “Oh my gosh, really?” “You should try out for basketball season!” “We are competing tomorrow night; come watch!” “We just got back from camp…”

They were interrupted when Alexis said coolly, “We won't have room for you on the squad.”

Melissa and Brooke both shot her a look, and Ethan said, “Nice, Lex.”

Alexis looked at him with big eyes. “What?” She turned to me. “I'm just being honest, sweetie. I don't know what cheerleading was like at your school, but we're really competitive here. It's really hard to make it, and I'm pretty sure that everyone who cheers for football will also go out for basketball. There's no way you will make it over someone who has been here and has experience with us.”

Wow. This girl was something else. I had been so intimidated by her earlier, but she was starting to touch a nerve in the competitive side of me. It was obvious what she was doing; she was trying to scare me off. And it was clear from the way that no one really stood up to her that she was some sort of leader in this group, particularly among the girls.

I looked at her with raised eyebrows. “We were really competitive, too. I cheered all through middle school and my first two years of high school, and I took gymnastics for years. Cheerleading was a huge part of my life.” I turned to the other girls. “It might be fun to get back into it. I think I
will
try out for basketball season.”

They all three smiled at me, but then turned to Alexis with worried expressions. I wasn't offended by their lack of words when it came to defending me against Alexis; I could see how she could seem threatening. Her small size was deceiving. Though I had only known this girl for a matter of hours, I could tell that she was used to getting her way. I had known girls like her in the past, and I usually just steered clear of them and tried not to get in their way. For some reason, I was feeling challenged by her, and I did not want to back down. I still wasn't really sure if I wanted to get back into cheerleading, but I wasn't about to let her think she could scare me out of trying out.

She stared at me, and an uncomfortable tension arose at the table. Finally she said, “Well, as the squad captain, good luck to you.” She smiled a very fake smile at me and turned to Ethan. “So, Ethan, you think I could get a ride to the party tonight?” she asked, touching his hand and glancing at me once again.

Ethan seemed satisfied by her good-luck wish to me. “Um, sure, no problem.” Sometimes guys were just so totally clueless. They took everything at face value. Obviously, she was telling me good luck just so she could throw the whole “squad captain” at me. She was also marking her territory when it came to Ethan. But he didn't notice either of those things. I made a mental note to ask Anna what was going on with the two of them just as soon as I got her alone.

Once everyone had finished eating, Scott picked up the entire check. We all offered him money, but he refused to take it. I was secretly a little relieved because I had very little cash that I was trying to make last for a while, but I still felt bad that he paid for all of us. It didn't seem to be a big deal to him, though.

After lunch we sat around and talked for a while. Most of the conversations I just listened to, because I had no idea who or what they were talking about. The guys were discussing the football team, which I knew very little about, while the girls were gossiping about the first day – what people were wearing, who was dating who, blah, blah, blah. Suddenly, I felt out of place in my jeans and T-shirt, and wondered what they were going to say about me after I left. I regretted my outfit choice for a minute, but then decided I didn't care enough to worry about it. Obviously, it didn't matter that much, or Anna wouldn't have invited me.

Finally, Melissa looked at her phone. “Oh my gosh, you guys, it's almost four o'clock! We need to get back,” she said, getting up from the table. Everyone else followed her.

“Man, I really wanted to go shopping!” Brooke whined.

“We don't have time if we're going to get back and shower before the party,” Anna said.

With that, we all headed back to Ridgewater. Ethan took Anna and me back to the school to get Anna's cute little red sports car so that we could go to her house and get ready. It didn't take long until I saw what Ethan meant about Anna's driving. She ran a stop sign and almost hit another car, and she merged without looking and nearly side-swiped a big truck. I was basically terrified the whole way to her house.

Her house was exactly what I expected. She actually lived outside the town in a country club area full of big, beautiful houses. Hers was no exception. “My parents aren't home for the weekend,” she told me. “They are actually in Hawaii until Wednesday.”

Good thing my mom didn't know that!
I thought. Normally, she would ask that kind of thing. In fact, Mom usually knew the parents of anyone I ever did anything with, along with the exact details of our plans. Now that I thought about it, she didn't even know what I was doing tonight. Anna had just told her she wanted to take me to some “thing” in town. That's when I realized just how desperate she must have been for me to get out again.

Anna took me straight up the huge staircase to her room. I looked around the house as we walked, and I felt a pang of homesickness. Not for our apartment, but for our old home. It wasn't that I missed the big house with the many rooms and the huge, perfectly landscaped yard. It wasn't the material things that I missed. I missed our family and the way things used to be. Fighting back tears, I tried to focus on Anna and the party that was happening tonight.

Anna went into her walk-in closet and came out with a cute little white sundress. “How adorable would you look in this?” she said, holding it up to me. To my surprise, I really did like the dress, and it actually looked like it would fit me. I was a little worried that Anna's clothes would all be tight, short, and revealing, but this one looked decent. Happily, I took it and turned around to try it on. Tying the straps, I walked over to look in the mirror. It was perfect.

After we had both showered, she helped me get ready. “I really want to be a makeup artist when I get older,” she told me as she put eye shadow on my eyelids. That explained the constant checking of her makeup in the mirror.

“Really? I have never really been good at the whole makeup thing,” I told her truthfully. Mom had always done my makeup when it came time for dances or anything important like that. I only knew how to do the basics, which was what I did for school.

She smiled as she studied her work, making sure it was even. “I think it's so much fun. I want to work with the stars someday. Of course, that means I'll have to get out of this town,” she said, rolling her eyes.

I nodded. “Yeah, I don't think you'll find a lot of stars here. But, I'm kind of starting to like this town. The people seem nice. I like your friends,” I said with a smile, trying to find a way to bring up the whole Ethan and Alexis situation.

She smiled back. “Yeah, my friends are all really nice. Well, for the most part,” she said, giving me a knowing look. We didn't even have to say her name to know exactly who she was talking about.

“What's her deal, anyway?” I asked casually.

She sighed and shook her head. “She's been like that since we were little. Only child. She's used to getting her way,” she said.

I shrugged. “That's not a good excuse to be so…
hateful
all the time,” I said. “Why do you guys let her act like that?”

She sighed again. “It's always been like this. We've all known each other since we were in kindergarten. I guess we're just used to it or something.”

I sat there for a minute, thinking about what she said. Then I asked, “Are she and Ethan a thing or what?”

She smiled and stopped putting make-up on me for a second, and leaned in like she had really good gossip. “No. She always had the biggest crush on him when we were younger, but he never really paid much attention to her. Then, last year, they started dating, which lasted for, like, six months or something. Then he broke up with her. He told her he wanted to be single his senior year. She acted like she didn't care, but we all knew she was upset. Isn't it so obvious?”

I raised my eyebrows. “Um, yeah. She definitely still has some sort of claim on him.”

She nodded. “I wondered if you would pick up on that. She apparently did not like it that he was flirting with you,” she said, watching my face to see what my reaction would be.

I couldn't help but feel pleased. She thought he was flirting with me? I tried not to look so happy as I said, “Oh, please. We barely know each other.”

“He's so cute, though, right?” she said, clasping her hands and looking up at the ceiling. “I mean, you have to admit that.”

“Sure, he's cute,” I said, trying to sound casual. “So, they've stayed friends through the breakup?”

She laughed. “Well, it's not like they had a choice. We all hang out. They couldn't make it awkward for the rest of us. So, yeah, they are still friends. She keeps trying to make it more, you know, throwing herself at him and stuff after she drinks at parties. As far as we know, he keeps rejecting her though. Then she tries to play it off like it was just the alcohol and pretends to be totally grossed out at the thought of it the next day. But we all know better.”

I sat silently, taking it all in. I was learning a lot from Anna. Now I knew the background story between Ethan and Alexis. I also knew that the girls obviously discussed it behind Alexis' back. I made a mental note not to put too much trust in any of these girls. I wasn't surprised at all; sadly, most girls I knew were this way. But, I also knew what it was like to trust girls like that, and then become the subject of their gossip. I swore I would never put myself through that again. Part of me was thinking,
Get out now!
Make up some excuse and go home – you swore you weren't go
ing to hang out with this type
of people again!
But, then there was that other part of me that didn't want to leave. Sure, they had their flaws, but they were also so welcoming and nice to me. Plus, I knew if I hung out with these people, I would be able to hang out with Ethan. As pathetic as that was, that was the part of me that won the battle.

Anna curled my already-wavy hair into big curls. “You have such beautiful hair. It's so thick, and such an awesome shade of red. You're really lucky,” she told me. Her compliments seemed totally sincere.

“Thanks,” I said, feeling guilty for thinking of her as such a bad person just minutes before that. She really did seem like a sweet person, deep down. I couldn't blame her for getting caught up in a little gossip; we were all guilty of that once in a while.

Finally, we were both ready to go. I looked at myself and mirror and gasped. This girl really could work for the stars! “Wow, Anna, you did an amazing job,” I said, staring at myself in the mirror.

“You really like it?” she asked with an anxious expression.

“Of course! Thank you!” I said, and I really meant it. I still looked like
me
, but a much fancier version of myself. I could have never gotten my hair to look like that, and she really brought out my green eyes with that makeup. I couldn't help but wonder what Ethan's reaction would be when he saw me.

 

 

I didn't have to wait long to find out – soon we were at the party. The house, near Anna's, was massive, but I still couldn't believe all the people that were crammed inside. The entire town must have been there. Everywhere I looked, there were clusters of people. I didn't know how Anna and I would ever find the others, until I saw Alexis and Ethan walking through the back patio door.

Alexis spotted us immediately and grabbed Ethan's arm, pretending to lead him through the crowd. I knew she just wanted me to see her holding his arm. I pointed them out to Anna, who waved them over to us. Alexis looked me over carefully when she got closer, and I could tell that she was not pleased with Anna's work. That was even more reassuring and my confidence leapt a little higher.

Ethan didn't try to hide his feelings about my new makeover. “Wow, Rain, you look beautiful!” he said, looking me up and down quickly.

“Thanks,” I said, smiling. “I can't take credit. Anna totally did it all. She kinda forced me into it.”

He laughed. “I should have known. Anna loves that kind of stuff. But you really do look great,” he said, putting his arm around me. “Why don't we go get a drink?”

“Sure,” I said, waving to Anna and Alexis. Alexis' fury was apparent as we walked away, but I didn't care. I didn't even care about trying to make her jealous, or the fact that I didn't drink. I was just happy to be walking somewhere under Ethan's arm.

We walked through the living room area and into the kitchen, where he grabbed two cups. While he was mixing two drinks for us, I looked around the room. That's when I saw Aiden, looking at me from across the room. He had a strange look on his face as he looked at me and then at Ethan, but it quickly turned into a smile as I walked over to say hello.

“Hey, you, I thought you weren't gonna make it,” he said as he reached out and gave me a playful punch in the arm.

“Yeah, well, I didn't think I would,” I replied, suddenly remembering that he had wanted to bring me to the party. I hadn't even made the connection that this party was the Logan Johnson party that he was talking about earlier. That seemed like a lifetime ago. “Sorry I didn't call you. I actually came with some people…”

He cut me off. “No worries. I'm just glad you made it. We're getting ready to go back on; you've gotta come out and hear us,” he said, gesturing toward the backyard.

I looked through the window and saw the stage that was set up. “Wow, you guys have a stage and everything?”

He laughed. “Yeah, well, that's Logan. He goes all out for these things.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “This party is, like, straight out of a movie.”

He laughed again. “You mean, one of those really bad, ridiculously unrealistic teen movies?”

“That's exactly what I mean!” I said, laughing with him. “Except, this is really cool!”

He nodded. “I know. And he actually pays us to play, too. It's awesome. I could really use the cash, and it's a lot of fun.”

“That's great, Aiden. I can't wait to hear you guys. Maybe later we can talk about setting up those guitar lessons?”

He grinned. “Definitely.”

At that moment, Ethan walked up from behind, putting his arm around my shoulder and holding a drink in my face. “Here you go, Rain,” he said, looking at Aiden. “Hey, what's up, man?”

Aiden looked a little caught off guard for a moment, but then nodded to him. “Hi, Ethan,” he said in a friendly voice. “I'll talk to you later, Rain. Break's over.”

“See ya, Aiden,” I said, feeling a little…guilty, for some reason. Aiden looked slightly hurt by the fact that I was with Ethan. But it wasn't like he asked me out on a date or anything. He had just offered me a ride to the party to be nice, right? I watched him walk away, and then realized Ethan was watching me.

I turned to him with a smile. “Thanks for the drink,” I said. I looked down at the yellow drink inside the red plastic cup. The smell of alcohol coming from inside of it made me cringe. I didn't drink – I'd never had so much as a drop in my life. I had gone to parties where people were drinking several times before. Sometimes after ballgames, one of the basketball players would have us all over and a few of them would have beer. But in my old life, no one ever really pressured me to try it; my relationship with God was well-known and very solid. I wasn't critical of those who chose to do it – I knew judging others was not my job. My job was to worry about
me
and be the best example that I could be for everyone else. I knew there were some were people who didn't like me much, who rolled their eyes at my goody-two-shoes-ness. But all in all, I think there were even more people who kind of looked up to me for standing so firmly behind my beliefs.

Until it all came crashing down.

And now? What about the new Rain Sawyer? The one who lost her dad, her faith, and almost her own life all at the same time…did this Rain drink? I looked back down at the cup, contemplating taking a sip.
It won't hurt to try it,
I reasoned.
Maybe it will help you relax tonight.
I brought the drink a little closer to my lips, but a gut-wrenching stab in the pit of my stomach stopped me from actually taking a drink. A little voice inside of me whispered,
You don't want to do this.
In St. Louis, I watched my classmates make fools of themselves when they drank. Some made some really terrible choices as a result. Was that me? With or without God in my life, I didn't want to be one of
those girls
. With a little sigh, I moved the cup away from my face. It was too late to tell Ethan I didn't want to drink now – too much time had passed since he handed me the cup. I decided to just hold it for a while. Maybe no one would notice that I wasn't actually drinking from it.

I let Ethan lead me outside, drink in hand, to the rest of the group. Melissa and Ryan were hanging on each other, sitting on a bench and talking closely as if the rest of us weren't there. Scott and Brooke were standing there together, again talking closely but not actually touching. I had found out from Anna as she was fixing my hair that they were in the beginning stages of being a couple. They had only been on a couple official dates, and hadn't actually declared their relationship as exclusive yet. Melissa and Ryan had been together for two years.

Anna and Alexis were standing together beside Scott and Brooke. We walked up to the two of them, and I saw Alexis roll her eyes when she saw Ethan with his arm around me. I thought that would make me feel good, but this time, I actually felt a little sorry for her. I slipped out of Ethan's arm, pretending to get closer to Anna so that I could talk to her. Ethan didn't seem to notice my little maneuver. He began talking to Scott about – what else? – football. I could tell he must really love the game. And that was something I could understand; I remembered talking about cheerleading, softball, and volleyball for hours with my teammates at my old school.

Just then, the band started up. “Oh, I want to hear them! Can we move closer?” I asked the girls.

Anna looked at me strangely. “What is your interest in the band?”

I shrugged. “Oh, it's just that I have class with one of the guys in the band. I told him I would listen to them tonight.”

Suddenly, Alexis was interested. “Which one?” she asked, smiling at me.

I looked at her cautiously. I knew exactly why she was wanted to know – she was hoping I was interested in someone so she wouldn't have to worry about me and Ethan. “Um, Aiden? I don't know his last name. He's the lead singer,” I said. I couldn't help but be proud as I said that. The band sounded great. Aiden's slightly husky voice was impressive as he belted out a song by The Willing.

All the girls looked at him, and Brooke spoke up. “Thomas. Aiden Thomas,” she said. “He just moved here a few years ago.”

“Yeah, that's what he told me,” I said, watching the band.

Alexis nudged me. “So, you guys must have talked a lot, huh?” she said, winking at me. It was amazing how suddenly she wanted to pretend we were friends.

I shook my head. “It's not like that. We just sit by each other in American Lit,” I told her.
So don't get your hopes up
, I added mentally.

Her shoulders slumped a little. “But, he's cute, right girls?”

The other girls nodded, giving her a strange look. They obviously didn't know what she was trying to do.

I rolled my eyes at her. “Look, you don't have to
sell
him to me. He's a nice guy, but he's just a friend,” I told her.

She looked shocked by my response. “Whoa, I was just saying he's a good catch, that's all.”

I smiled at her. “Well, if you're so interested, I could talk to him for you,” I said, blinking innocently.

She glared at me. “No, thanks. I didn't mean for me.”

I turned to her. “I know. You meant for me. That's really sweet of you to be looking for a ‘good catch' for me, but I can handle it myself,” I said in a low voice, winking back at her and turning back toward Anna.

The other girls didn't hear our little exchange, and didn't seem to notice Alexis as she stood there with a frustrated expression. There was a short silence, and then Anna said, “Does anyone wanna go dance? I love dancing.”

Brooke giggled. “No one is dancing, Anna.”

Anna laughed. “That's okay! Let's go get it started!”

“I'm in,” I said, looking up at Aiden. I figured he would appreciate it if we went up to dance. I felt like I owed him after I had kind of blown off his invitation tonight. Plus, I really did love to dance.

Brooke looked at me. “Seriously? Okay, fine, let's go!”

Anna, Brooke and I took off toward the stage. Alexis hung back for a second, but then Brooke grabbed her hand and pulled her up with us. She then turned to Melissa. “Melissa, I know you're in love and everything, but can we steal you for a little girl time?” she asked.

Soon, we were all five heading up to the stage. The band began playing one of my favorite songs by Uprising, and I got excited. “I love this song!” I shouted as I started dancing. The others joined me as we danced together in a circle. To my surprise, a few people around us came out and started dancing with us. I looked up at Aiden, who was watching me as he sang. Incredulously I watched as a crowd formed on our newly-made dance floor. Looking back up at Aiden, I shrugged, smiling. He winked at me and continued singing, looking happy and comfortable up on the stage. His voice really was amazing. He looked like he belonged behind a microphone.

The party was over way too soon. We danced off and on all night, stopping a few times to go to the bathroom or when someone needed another drink. Though I held the same cup all night, no one seemed to notice that I hadn't touched it.
Peer pressure failed to take another victim
, I thought with a laugh.

All too soon, it started getting late, and people began to leave. The band quit playing and started taking down their equipment. Just then Ethan approached us. “Anna, you don't look like you need to drive. Why don't you let me give you and Rain a ride home?”

It was true what he said. I already didn't trust Anna's driving; I was sure it would only get worse with alcohol. But I hadn't had a drink all night.
Should I volunteer to drive?

Before I could say anything, Anna agreed. “Yeah, that would be great, Ethan. Thanks!”

He took out his keys. “Are you ready?” he asked, looking at me.

I looked at him. “Are you okay to drive? You had a few drinks too.”

He shrugged. “I'm fine, I promise. I only had a couple. Besides, it's not far.”

I sighed. “Why don't you just let me drive all of you? I really didn't drink. I was too busy dancing.”

He smiled. “You
were
busy dancing out there. I was watching you all night. You looked great,” he said, moving closer to me.

I felt my face get hot as I heard Alexis pretend to gag behind me. “Oh, please. I was just having fun. Can I have your keys, Anna?” I asked, changing the subject.

He nodded. “Okay, hold on. Let me tell a few people I'm leaving. Wait here, okay?”

“Sure,” I said, turning toward the girls. From a distance, I could see Aiden loading his music equipment into a trailer. “Hey girls, will you wait right here? I'll be back in two seconds,” I said without waiting on them to respond. I walked over to Aiden, who saw me and stopped what he was doing.

“Hey there, dancing queen,” he said with a smile.

“Hey there, rock star,” I replied. “Need any help?”

“Nah, I'm almost done,” he said. “I'm about to head out. Do you and your friends need a ride home?”

“Oh, no, I'm driving,” I told him.

He looked at me with a slight glare. “Are you sure you should be driving?” he asked.

I laughed. “Aiden, I'm fine. I didn't drink a drop all night,” I told him.

He made a face at me, and said, “Don't lie. I saw you with a drink.”

“Yeah, I know. It was given to me, and I didn't want to be rude. I don't actually drink, though.” Somehow I felt comfortable enough with him to tell him that. “I just kind of held it so that no one would ask me why I wasn't drinking, or offer to get me any more drinks, or anything like that. That probably sounds stupid, but I don't want to come off as some goody-goody who has a problem with drinking, because it's not like that. I don't care if other people do it, I just don't.”

He nodded. “That actually makes sense, I guess. I thought for sure you were drinking, as much fun as you were having out there dancing. A lot of people aren't comfortable dancing unless they're drinking,” he said with a laugh.

“Nah, I just like to dance. And the band was awesome. I couldn't help myself,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.