Heaven Cent (18 page)

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Authors: Piers Anthony

Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult

BOOK: Heaven Cent
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“Maybe,” she said, with a cute hint of mischief. Then she named her face, which remained just beside his, and kissed him again, briefly. This time she got her nose right. It was very nice.

The King chose this moment to look back again. “Now that's enough!” he exclaimed, exasperated. “At least wait till we have rescued the skeleton!”

They broke quickly. “He's afraid we'll figure it out for ourselves,” Dolph whispered.

“Some day, some way, we'll find out what they're hiding,” she agreed. “Then look out, adults! We'll tell all the younglings, and the conspiracy will be finished.”

Dolph definitely liked her attitude.

They undulated onward. Thanks to Nada's guidance, he was moving along fairly well now, and was able to do it by himself. They moved into single file, following the King.

They came to a pool. “Now we can cut off the goblin detachment by using the river channels.” the King said. ”The gobs are restricted to the dry ones, so must take many diversions. Just hold your breath and swim; mere are breathing nooks every so often." Then he plunged into the water.

“Urn—” Dolph said, eying the black expanse.

“It's as easy swimming as slithering,” Nada said. “Just do the same thing, and you'll move ahead. Why don't you go first, and if you falter or get lost, I’ll nudge you in the right direction so you won't drown?”

That was not the most encouraging idea, but Dolph realized that it would have to do. He might have changed to fish-form and solved the problem, but he wanted to remain matched to Nada, because—well, he wasn't sure why. He took a big breath and slithered in.

To his surprise, it worked. He undulated, and forged through the water. He reached the breathing spot in plenty of time.

In a moment Nada came up beside him. “See? It's fun!”

There was barely room for the two of them here. Their heads were close together. “Are you going to kiss me again?” Dolph asked. Now he realized why he wanted to keep this form!

“Should I?” she asked, surprised.

“Well, uh, you did it twice before, when we got close.”

“Then it's about your turn, isn't it?”

He hadn't thought of that. He kissed her, making sure to get the nose right. This, too, seemed to work better each time.

The King's head popped up beside them. “What is holding you up now?” he demanded. “Oh.” He ducked down and was gone.

Nada laughed. “I think Daddy's beginning to regret this betrothal. If we weren't betrothed, he could tell us no. That's the rule.”

Dolph was perceiving increasing advantages to the betrothal. He had never cared for mushy stuff, but this was different: it was fun. Each time they kissed, he liked her better. “All the same, we had better not delay him any more,” he said. “I've got to rescue my friend Marrow.”

“Of course,” she agreed. That was another thing he liked about her: she never argued with him.

He took another breath and dived again. After that it was easy enough, as they went from air bubble to air bubble, following the water channel.

They arrived at a larger cave that had a path worn through its center. There were six naga, as well as the King and Dolph and Nada. “They will be arriving in two moments,” the King said. “Now you younglings stay out of the action; we don't want you hurt. But when we have the situation under control, Prince Dolph must talk to the skeleton.”

“A skeleton?” Nada asked, horrified.

“Marrow is a good person,” Dolph said, “But he is a human skeleton.”

“If you say so,” she said uncertainly. “But I wouldn't refer to one of my friends that way.” It was as close as she had come to differing with him.

Then the two moments were up, and the goblin column appeared. The naga had faded back behind stalagmites and were hidden, as were the King and Dolph and Nada.

The column proceeded. There were three goblin guards, followed by six goblins carrying bags of bones, then three more guards. Twelve in all. Twice the number of fighting naga. That made Dolph nervous, for her knew that goblins were ferocious fighters. Their heads were big and hard, and they seemed to have only an imperfect notion of fear. Had the King miscalculated?

“Take them!” the King cried.

Immediately the naga closed on the column. Three had assumed man form, and three snake form. The men lobbed stones at the goblins, while the snakes slithered up to bite the goblins' feet.

The goblins, caught by surprise, quickly got fighting. The guards had wooden cudgels, with which they struck at the men and snakes. But the men ducked, avoiding the blows. Each caught hold of a goblin, lifted it up, and hurled it into the water beside the path. Suddenly there were three fewer goblins in the fray.

But the six goblins with bags dropped them and opened them and fetched out long bones. They used these bones to strike at the snakes. The snakes lifted their heads and hissed in unison. From their mouths came fog, and the fog enclosed the goblins. Immediately the goblins coughed and choked, suffocated by the vapor. Three more were out of it.

The remaining goblins glared around. “There's a female!” their leader exclaimed, spying Nada. “Take her hostage!”

As one, they charged Nada. She screamed and tried to retreat, but came up against the wall behind her. It was obvious that she knew nothing about fighting.

Dolph assumed ogre form. There was room for it, in this large cave. He leaped between Nada and the goblins. His huge hairy arms reached out to embrace the entire group, and his hamfists smashed into the goblins on either side, compressing them into the center. The goblins, stunned, hardly resisted. They knew that it was futile for their kind to oppose an ogre; some of their forebears were still orbiting the moon from prior encounters, while others had been jammed through keyholes so that their heads became doorknobs. They did not realize that Dolph was not a real ogre, and could not perform such feats,

Then one of them caught on. “How did an ogre get in here?” he cried. “The tunnels are far too small!”

Dolph pounded him on the head, but it was too late. The blow did not hurt him, it only drove him into the stone floor somewhat, and the others now realized that this could not be a true ogre. They burst out of the embrace like popping corn, scrambling every which way. He was only able to catch one, whom he hurled into the water.

But by this time the naga had closed in. Each of the five remaining goblins was caught and dumped into the water. The water did not drown them, for they swam, but it rendered them helpless. They were unable to swim and fight at the same time, and the naga stood guard at the edge to prevent them from emerging. The goblins were not pleased; the water was beginning to discolor from the taint of the language they were using, and Nada was trying to stifle an appalled look. Words like that were known to be damaging to delicate feminine ears.

Now Dolph could look for his friend Marrow. He changed to boy form. “Marrow! Marrow!” he called. “Where is your skull?”

“Mmmph!” came from one of the bags. Dolph dashed over and dumped out that bag. Several bones and the skull rolled out. There was a gag tied across the mouth. He picked up the skull and tore off the gag “Marrow, is it really you?”

“Who else would it be?” Marrow inquired curtly. “Quick, put me together before the remaining goblins catch up!”

“Remaining goblins?”

“Of course there are more on the way,” the King said. “That is why we have to hurry. We don't want to fight the whole stronghold!”

“Maybe we'd better just carry away the bags of bones, and assemble them later,” Dolph said.

“No, there might be some missing,” Marrow said. "Just follow my directions, and this can be very quick. I regret I can not reassemble myself, in this situation. Start with the skull bone here; next attach the neck bone, then the shoulder bone—''

“Wait, I have to find them first!” Dolph protested. “Dump out all the bags; I'll point mem out-” Quickly the naga dumped out the bags. Then Dolph carried the skull past the scattered bones. “There!” the skull said, and Dolph picked up the indicated neck bone. There turned out to be several of them, actually. All he had to do was touch the bones to the growing structure, and they snapped neatly into place. Then the shoulder bone, and the arm bones. The work got faster as the skeleton progressed and the remaining bones became fewer.

But when all the bones had been used, Marrow was incomplete. Several ribs and part of his left leg were missing, as well as his whistle finger. “There must be another bag of bones!” Dolph said. “Maybe a goblin fell behind the others.”

“But how can you find it without encountering the other goblins?” Nada asked, overcoming her nervousness about the skeleton enough to approach.

“We shall have to wait for it to arrive,” Dolph decided.

“This is not wise,” the King said. “The main force of goblins may be much larger.”

“I can become a tangle tree and hold them off,” Dolph said.

“But suppose they are wary, and take another route?” Marrow asked. “I think you had better just leave me incomplete."

“No. I came to rescue you, and I shall rescue all of you. The naga can leave if they want to.”

“I can't leave you,” Nada said. “You are my betrothed!”

Marrow's skull turned toward her. “What?”

Then they heard the marching feet of the next party of goblins. There was no time for further discussion.

Dolph assumed the form of a tangle tree. His roots writhed across the stone, seeking purchase; his tentacles reached out to block the entire passage.

Dolph could no longer talk in the human tongue, but Marrow could. “Cluster in around the tree!” Marrow cried. “It will not attack you! Defend the tentacles from getting hacked off!”

“Watch out!” a goblin cried from the water. “It's a blubble blurb!” For a naga in man form had just reached out and pushed the goblin's head under water. Angry purple prose bubbles rose, showing the goblin's ire at this interruption.

The goblins heard. “What's that?” their chief called as they marched.

“A tangle tree,” Marrow said helpfully as Dolph's tentacles reached out and grabbed the chief.

Then there was chaos, as the new goblins fought the tree. But the tangler had more tentacles than there were goblins, and soon all six of them were hanging in the air.

One of them held the missing bag. Dolph turned him and the bag upside down so that the bones fell out. Marrow limped over and picked them up, setting them in place himself. In a moment he was complete, including his whistle.

“Excellent,” said King Nabob. “We have rescued the skeleton. Now who will rescue us?”

Dolph realized what he meant. If he changed back to boy form, all the goblins would be freed, and would immediately resume fighting. If the others tried to escape through the water, they would encounter all the goblins swimming there. If they just waited, in an impasse like the one he had suffered with Draco Dragon, eventually more goblins would come to overwhelm him and the naga. They were trapped!

“Perhaps I can help,” Marrow said. “With a bit of help from Prince Dolph.”

“But we just rescued you!” King Nabob protested. “We don't want to leave you behind!”

“You won't have to, I'm sure,” Marrow said. “Kick me.”

“If you insist.” The King assumed man form and booted the skeleton in the rear.

Marrow flew apart, and landed in the form of a grate. Then the naga picked up the grate and set it against the entrance to the chamber where the goblins had come from. Then two of them held the grate in place, while two others fished goblins out of the water and carried them to the entrance. They pitched the goblins down the tunnel, and the grate was pushed closed so that the goblins could not return.

Two more goblins were brought. The gate was swung open just enough, and the goblins pitched through.

Before long all the goblins were clamoring on tile other side, walled off by Marrow's bones. The naga guarded this gate, preventing the goblins from pulling it apart. Every time they tried, a naga in the form of a snake hissed and belched noxious fog, driving them back. The vapor did not bother Marrow, but the combination of bone and fog was more than the goblins could handle.

Dolph returned to boy form. “But once the naga go, the goblins will take Marrow apart again, and if Marrow changes form, the goblins will charge in a mass and overwhelm us!” he cried.

“Not if you become a wood wind,” Marrow's skull said.

“A wood wind?”

"Don't they have them in normal Xanth? It is a musical instrument made of wood, that—“

“Oh. But someone has to play it.”

“I have had some experience with music,” Nada said. “Perhaps I could play it.”

“But you must hold it very firmly,” Dolph said, “because—"

“Of course.” She assumed girl form, her head unchanged, her body bare. Dolph was pleased to note that she was his own age, not mature. It would have been horrible if she had turned out to be Ivy's age! She put her hands on his arms.

Dolph assumed the form of a woodwind. This was a living plant, for deadwood was beyond his talent. It was hollow, with holes along its length, and a mouthpiece at the end. Because Nada had been holding him, she was now holding his new form.

Nada lifted him to her mouth. Her lips touched his mouthpiece, which corresponded to his mouth in this form, and it was like a kiss. He was delighted.

She blew, and he was exhilarated; she had such sweet breath! Her fingers played over his body delightfully; she had a nice touch, too.

But there was a special quality of this particular instrument. It blew out much more wind than it took in. That was why Marrow had suggested it.

Nada lifted him so that he pointed toward the bone grid. She blew a harder note.

Dolph sent out a fierce jet of air. It crossed the cave and washed through the grid. “Move out!” King Nabob ordered.

The naga retreated from the grid. Nada blew another note, harder yet. This time the wind howled past the grid, holding it up, shoving it up against the wall.

The goblins were advancing from the other side, now that the naga were gone. Nada blew harder. The howl became a scream, and the wind blasted at the grid and through it, eliciting secondary notes. The goblins were blown off their feet, and went sliding back along die tunnel. Their language was so foul that it turned the air smoky, but fortunately the wind blew the sound away.

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