Authors: Piers Anthony
Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult
But he was five years her junior. There was the single kink in this slither, and what a kink it was!
Well, they were betrothed, and he had proved to be highly amenable to her blandishments. She would do her best to cater to his nature throughout, so that he never had a complaint. Not now, not at their marriage, not thereafter. She would be the best possible playmate, then lover, then wife to him. She was no Sorceress herself; she had no magic beyond the talents of her species. But she was a princess, and she would do what she was destined to do, the whole of her life. It was a matter of personal pride, as well as for the welfare of her kind. Her father expected it of her, and she would not disappoint him—or Dolph. Or anyone. Ever.
“Why are you crying, Nada?” Grace'l's skull asked quietly.
Nada jumped. She had forgotten that she was sheltered by a conscious creature who never slept! The skull formed the entrance, and it had turned to face inward, to speak to her. “N-nothing,” she sobbed.
“It is not nothing,” Grace’l insisted. “I am a woman, however strange to you. You are another. I see what the males do not. Last night you cried in your sleep; tonight you cry awake. What is your sorrow?”
“I cannot tell you,” Nada said, trying to mop her tears.
“You are older than you appear, and you are unhappy. I will keep your secret.”
“I'm a child! Like Dolph!”
“When you sleep, your body assumes its natural age. You are a woman. A young woman, but no child. Is this why you cry?”
“I must not say!”
“We can not be heard. Tell me your grief, and I will tell you mine.”
That brought Nada up short. What grief could a skeleton have? Her female curiosity surged forth; she had to know!
Since Grace’l had fathomed Nada's own sorrow, half the secret was out anyway. “Tell me yours first.”
Grace’l did not argue. She simply spoke. “I told Marrow that I had stepped out of the gourd and gotten stranded here in the real world, but that was not the whole story. I was thrown out, and I can never go back.”
“But that's your realm!” Nada exclaimed. “There's no place for your kind out here! You belong in bad dreams!”
“Yes. I was exiled. It was the ultimate penalty for my crime. I cannot die; that is what made it so bad.”
“What did you do, that is a crime in the realm of bad dreams? They are supposed to be horrible!”
"Yes. There was a troll on an isle of Xanth. His tribe of trolls raided a human village. This is the business of trolls. They were hungry, and they needed fresh succulent children to eat. Some distracted the menfolk of the village, while others charged into the homes and distracted the women. They distracted the men by trying to kill them, but the men were too strong and managed to drive the trolls away instead. They distracted the women by trying to rape them, but the women fought with the strength of desperation and got away. Tristan Troll got into a house while this was happening and snatched up a succulent child and carried her away into the deep forest. So the raid was after all a success; they would eat that night.
" 'Oh please. Sir Troll, do not take me away from my family,* the little girl begged. 'I am my family's only child, and they will be tormented by my loss.'
Tristan looked at her, and she was very pretty and very sweet, yet despite these flaws she was a bit like the child he had never had. He felt sorry for her family. He set her down. 'Return to your family,' he told her. 'But do not tell what I did.'
"The girl was smart enough to realize that he was doing wrong. I’ll never tell!' she promised. Then she was away, running through the deep wood to her home.
"Thus the trolls were unsuccessful in their raid, and they went hungry that night. The human village was on guard thereafter, so no further raids were possible for some time. Tristan did not tell his fellows what he had done, out of deepest shame; he knew it had been a completely untroll-like act. Since all the rest had failed in their endeavors, they were not surprised that he had failed too. His mischief escaped undetected.
"But that night he dreamed, and the Night Stallion knew of his dereliction, for the stallion knew the worst secrets of all dreaming creatures. The stallion spent hours working up the most horrible dream for him, so bad it would require three night mares just to bring the whole of it. It was probably the most terrifying dream ever crafted for a troll, a wonderful work of art. Tristan would scream the whole night through, and be unable to wake till morning, riveted by that awful dream. After that, it was certain, he would never betray his tribe like that again.
"I had the honor to be the central figure in this dream. Tristan was afraid of many things, but of skeletons most of all. Because it was a female child he had let go, it was to be a female skeleton who haunted his sleep. It was of course a signal honor for me, my first major role, and I was duly proud. I intended to make him scream so hard and long that his tongue would fall out.
"But as I researched the details of his crime of conscience, I found it hard to build up enthusiasm. It was true that he had betrayed his tribe and caused them unnecessary hunger, but he had also averted much grief to the human family. It was of course not my business to judge him; I was only an actor in a bad dream. But when I played my part as the skeleton of a woman of his tribe who had starved because of his dereliction, and leaped out at him in the dream to send him into the ultimate abyss of terror, I faltered. 'I think you did right,’ I whispered. The rest of the dream was crafted as scripted, and my default was unnoticed.
"The three night mares carried that dream to him that very night. But instead of driving Tristan Troll mad with remorse and fear, it made him only somewhat uncomfortable. In short, it bombed. The night mares were greatly embarrassed, and the Night Stallion snorted acrid smoke. He investigated the dream, and this time discovered what I had done. No wonder it had failed; I had delivered reassurance and support instead of terror. I had ruined the whole production, and made the effort of the gourd into a laughing stock.
“That was why I was exiled,” Grace’l concluded. “They sent me through and destroyed the gourd after me. I was devastated, and hoped to find another gourd and sneak back. But that was foolish, and about the time that Marrow and Dolph arrived, I realized it. I assumed that Marrow would want to return to the gourd, despite what he said, or that he might have been exiled for some valid reason, so I was cautious. But now I know he is a truly fine skeleton, and I wish I could pick a bone with him, but—”
“Pick a bone? Do you mean you have a disagreement?”
“By no means! That is our way of joining in what to you would be matrimony. To pick out bones and assemble a baby skeleton. But of course I am unworthy, because of my exile, so I can not broach the subject.”
“But it is obvious that Marrow likes you, and the two of you work so well together,” Nada protested. "That sailboat—' *
“But would he like me if he knew my crime?”
“But it was no crime!” Nada protested. “It was a decent thing you did, for the decent thing the troll did.”
“No, it was a betrayal of my kind, just as was the act of the troll a betrayal of his kind.”
“But that makes no sense!”
“Perhaps not, in your terms. But Marrow is a skeleton; how would he feel about it?”
Nada, conscious of her own deception, was unable to answer. Now it was her turn to tell her grief, and she did so. “And so I cry for the happiness I shall never have, because I will never know true love,” she concluded. “My dreams of marrying a handsome and magical prince will be realized, but the essence of them will be absent.”
“Because he is younger than you? I do not understand.”
“A girl is supposed to be younger than a boy. I could only love an older prince.”
“But that makes no sense!”
Nada smiled tearfully. "Perhaps not in your terms. But I am sure Prince Dolph would be appalled if he knew.”
Grace’l thought for a while. “Need you tell him your age?”
“Indeed, I need not! I shall fulfill his expectation in every way, so he will be happy. My private sorrow is irrelevant, and must not be known.”
“I said I would keep your secret, but I do not understand why the age difference should be important, or why you should suffer alone for it.”
“If Dolph knew, he would break our betrothal, and my folk would be lost. I would suffer far more then than otherwise, both for my folk whom I had failed, and for Dolph's unhappiness I caused.”
“We are certainly of different types!”
“Why don't you tell Marrow how you feel? He would surely be glad to pick a bone with you.”
“But I would first have to tell him of my crime, and then he would not.”
“We are of different types,” Nada agreed. “But I think we have similar problems. We both must deceive those to whom we are closest.” With that she slept.
Next day they came into a glade, and were abruptly surrounded by an assortment of beautiful folk, each of whom was marred by an animal feature. The majority of them were lovely young women, dressed in white, with long fair hair. But some had dog's paws, or buzzard's feathers, or a snake's tail. And all of them had bows with strings drawn and arrows aimed. “Halt, trespassers!” their leader cried. He was a handsome young human man, except that his feet were exactly like those of a duck. “Identify yourselves!”
This was Dolph's Quest, so he spoke. “I am Prince Dolph of the human folk, and these are Princess Nada of the naga, Marrow of the gourd, and Grace’l of the gourd. Who are you, and why do you detain us?”
"We are the fee, and I am Fulsome Fee, and we mean to breed with you to revivify our diminishing stock. Each of you may pick a partner from among us for this purpose.”
Dolph smiled. “We can't do that. Nada and I are betrothed, and—”
“That has no meaning for us. Whichever ones of us you select will become your permanent mate, and you will breed with that one the rest of your life. Now choose.”
“And we are only nine or eight years old,” Dolph concluded. “We could not breed with you even if we wanted to. We don't know how to summon the stork. As for the skeletons, they are not of your kind; I doubt the stork would come for them either.”
“Your ages and types matter not,” Fulsome said. “We shall simply keep you until you are of age or close enough to it, then demonstrate the mechanism for summoning the stork. We shall assume forms compatible with the skeletons. Our powers of change are limited but sufficient for this. Choose!”
Dolph glanced at his companions. “What do you know of the fee?”
“They are of the elven folk,” Marrow said. “They are an old species, as old as all Xanth and Mundania both. They disappeared for a time; this is the first I know of them recently. It is considered best for other folk to avoid them.”
Dolph glanced around at the drawn bows. “I can guess why. Suppose I change?”
“Nada would suffer.”
Nada knew what each meant. Dolph could change into a dragon and wipe out the fee, but not before their arrows killed her. She could assume only three forms, all of which were vulnerable to arrows. She did not like this at all!
Dolph spoke again to the fee. “I am a Magician. I can change form and my powers are not limited. You must either kill me immediately or let us go. In neither case will you keep us for your purpose.”
That, Nada thought, was very well spoken! Dolph was certainly bright enough and brave enough. How sad that he wasn't ten years older!
Fulsome laughed. “A likely claim! Prove it!”
Dolph became an armored dragon. Smoke puffed out as he breathed, signaling a formidable internal fire.
“Now you can not kill Prince Dolph,” Marrow said.
“If you kill Nada Naga, Dolph will attack you and destroy you. Let us go our way in peace.”
But the arrows were unwavering. “If that dragon moves, we shall kill the naga. If he cares for her, he will not like that.”
What would Dolph do? For the first time on this trip, Nada was afraid for her life. A nine-year-old child—he could panic, or make a misjudgment, and she would be the one to pay.
But fortunately it was Marrow negotiating now, because Dolph could not talk in dragon form. Obviously Dolph would not resume boy form while the arrows pointed!
“I repeat,” Marrow said, “if you shoot Nada, you will be destroyed. Your arrows cannot hurt me or Grace’l or the dragon, but we can hurt you. All of your lives are hostage to Nada's welfare. You will not be able to increase your tribe then!”
Fulsome considered. “Perhaps a compromise.” he suggested, ”Let us have a fair contest, and the winner will prevail without violence."
“What contest?” Marrow asked.
“One of your number will choose companions to depart. If the other three of you are chosen, you depart in peace. If one of us is chosen, you are bound.”
“But of course any one of us would choose the others of us!” Marrow said.
“Not if our folk resemble yours.”
Marrow paused, and Nada well appreciated why. If the fee changed form to resemble the travelers, it would be hard to tell who was whom. But Marrow probably knew all of them well enough by now to tell. "But each of you has an animal trait. We could tell you by that.''
“We have captured a drift of illusion, that will mask our animal features. It isn't much, but is enough for that. You will be allowed to talk to each, but not to touch; the one you touch is the one chosen.”
“But the real ones would identify themselves!” Marrow pointed out. “That would make it no contest.”
Fulsome shrugged. “Do you agree?”
Marrow checked with the others. None of them were easy about the matter, but the arrows were unwavering. Nada certainly did not want to die, and she was sure that Dolph did not want to kill the fee. It seemed better to accept the contest, and to make sure they did not lose.
“We agree,” Marrow said. “I shall—”
“Not you,” Fulsome said. “The naga. She will choose.”
“Me?” Nada asked, dismayed. “I can't—”
“Take it or leave it,” Fulsome said. “She is the vulnerable one. She cannot cheat.”
“None of us will cheat!” Marrow said indignantly. “Are the fee planning on cheating?”