Heaven Cent (20 page)

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Authors: Piers Anthony

Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult

BOOK: Heaven Cent
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They found themselves outside, on a winding path. Pete led them along this, until they came to the harbor. “So nice to have had you here,” he said. “I hope you enjoyed your visit. You must come again real soon.” He made a little bow, then turned and departed.

Marrow looked at Dolph, perplexed. “Are we going already?”

“We must be,” Grace’l said. “For here we are at the water.”

Dolph and Nada kicked the skeletons, and they became the boat and sail. Soon they were on their way out of the harbor, carried by a favorable wind.

“Ahoy!”

Dolph looked to the sound. There was Mela Merwoman in her fish tail, waving from the wave. “What are you doing here?”

“Something bothered me about your journey, so I came down to see whether I could help. Do you still have your mirror?”

“Mirror? What mirror?”

Mela grimaced prettily. “Follow me to shore. I think I can help you get it back.”

Perplexed, they followed her swiftly swimming body to the main beach. There she put on her nice legs and joined them on land. “There is some reverse wood here; I saw it the other day. Ah, here it is! Pick it up, Dolph, but don't do any magic.”

Dolph picked up the bit of wood she indicated. “Of course I know better than to change form while holding this!” He exclaimed. "It would reverse whatever I tried!”

“What about the magic mirror?” she asked again.

Dolph's jaw dropped. “I left it on the desk at the hotel on the isle! At Thieves' Isle!”

“That's what I thought,” Mela said. “I knew there was something funny about that isle, but I couldn't quite remember what it was. There have been rumors—” She shrugged. “Maybe you had better take that wood over there and see what you can do.”

“Maybe I had better,” Dolph agreed. He passed the wood around, and as each of the others touched it, faces lighted. Now they all understood what had happened.

“They used forget magic,” Marrow said. “Black Pete dropped a bit of it on the sign, and then on the mirror, and we forgot all about them.”

“But then how could Black Pete remember about mthe mirror?” Nada asked. “I mean, if the spot spell makes everyone forget about objects—”

“It was only a tiny bit of forget, left over from the great old Forget Spell,” Marrow concluded. “Just enough to make us forget one thing for a few hours. That mirror is probably still sitting on the counter, until the forget wears off. Then Pete will find it and pick it up. It's the perfect theft! By the time we remembered it, ordinarily, we would have been so far on our way that it wouldn't have been worthwhile to return for it.”

“And if we did,” Grace’l added, “he would just use the spell again. What a thief!”

“But why does he have that sign out at the harbor?” Dolph asked. “That could give him away at the start!”

Marrow pondered. “Perhaps that is his way of testing travelers. If they forget the sign, then he knows the spell is working on them, and he can use it to rob them. Very crafty.”

“Well, let's go back and fix him!” Dolph said. “I'll hold the reverse wood, so it won't interfere with the rest of you; as long as I remain in my natural form, it won't affect me. Then I'll give it to one of you, and—” He found himself too angry to finish his thought, knowing that it wasn't a very nice thought.

“Good luck!” Mela said, returning to the water. “I'm glad I was able to help you, after the way you helped me.”

Dolph nodded. Sometimes it did pay to do nice things for other folk, even when a person did not expect any return. He had not really understood that before, but it was quite clear now.

They resumed their sea-crossing group, and returned to the isle. By the time they got there, Dolph had cooled a bit, and decided to keep the reverse wood. He could probably do more with it in his natural form than he could as a vengeful dragon.

There was the sign: THIEVES’ ISLE. In a moment, Black Pete reappeared. He looked surprised when he saw them. “Back again so soon? What can I do for you?” He dropped another invisible thing on the sign.

“Oh, we'll think of something,” Dolph said, keeping tight hold of the reverse wood.

They followed Pete up to his mock office. There lay the mirror on the counter, as Dolph had left it the hour before. He picked it up and put it back in his knapsack. Then he touched the reverse wood to Black Pete. “What are you?” he asked.

Pete looked startled. “I am the worst thief and rascal of these here parts,” he said. “I steal from everybody who comes here, by making them forget their valuables.”

Dolph nodded. The wood had reversed the man's nature, making him completely honest. His talent, obviously, was dishonesty; the man was an accomplished liar and thief. Had this not been his magic, the reverse wood would not have worked, for it had no effect on mundane things. Dolph was honest, but the wood did not make him dishonest because no magic was involved in his character. Now Black Pete was unable to conceal what he had done, because his own magic worked against him. “What of the others?”

“There are no others; I work alone.”

“But there are many boats in the harbor!”

“I made their owners forget them, and now they are mine.”

Which meant the prior owners must have had to swim ashore, not remembering that they had boats. Some might have drowned or been caught by sea predators. Black Pete deserved no mercy!

But he realized that there would be almost no way to return all the stolen things, for their owners were long gone. All that could be done was to post some kind of notice of warning about this isle, so that other travelers would know its nature and stay away. Or else kill Black Pete. Dolph couldn't stomach that.

“Do you have the Heaven Cent here?” he asked.

“No.”

Since the man had to tell the truth, that was that. But Marrow had an idea. “We must get some of those bits of forget. They could be useful.”

“Give us some forget bits, and tell us how to use them, and we shall leave you alone,” Dolph said.

“Gladly!” Black Pete agreed, aware that he was getting off lightly. “I found a bunch of mustard seeds that had soaked in a forget whorl a long time. Whenever I drop one of them on something, it becomes forgettable for several hours. It doesn't affect me, because the forget spell only comes out when jogged by the fall. Here is a package of the seeds.” He brought out a little square envelope.

“Thank you,” Dolph said, taking the package.

They departed. Back on shore they set up a sign saying

BEWARE OF THIEF ON ISLE—USE REVERSE WOOD. They left the reverse wood beside the sign. Dolph hoped that helped. It would if the travelers passed this way first, and if Black Pete didn't cross to the mainland.

They proceeded south. Soon they spied another isle offshore. For some reason isles were always offshore, never onshore where it would have been easy to reach them. Dolph wished they had the reverse wood with them, because he was now wary of these isles. Still, at least he knew to be careful.

They sailed across. There was a sign on the shore saying BEAUTY ISLE. Indeed, the isle was incredibly beautiful. It was covered with the loveliest ornamental trees and plants, and in its center was a perfectly conical mountain that shone in the sunlight. The top rose into the deepest blue sky Dolph had ever seen, and was shrouded by a mist that sported the colors of a rainbow. Dolph and Nada simply stared at it, overwhelmed by its luster.

“I do not trust this,” Marrow's skull said. “Anything that pretty is bound to be an illusion.”

But it was no illusion. They landed and changed forms and inspected the isle from several views. It was just exactly as beautiful as it seemed.

“A tangle tree can be pretty too,” Marrow warned. “Until it attacks.”

“If we find a tangle tree, I'll turn into something worse,” Dolph said. But the notion bothered him, for not many things were worse than a tangle tree.

Then something worse appeared. It looked like a cross between a roc and a tangle tree, for it was huge and had giant wings and many tentacles. It charged down on them.

Dolph's mind went blank. What could he become that would scare this off?

“A wall-nut tree!” Marrow cried.

Dolph became a wall-nut tree. Suddenly his body was like a big wall formed of hardwood, with a few branches and leaves at the top. The monster smashed into this solid wall and fell flat. Little stars and planets spun in the air around its snout, showing that it had been knocked silly.

Dolph assumed the form of a similar monster. “Is the Heaven Cent on this isle?” he asked.

“There are one hundred and one and a half monsters, each worse than the last,” the creature said as the stars and planets cleared. A squiggly spiral line hovered a little longer, showing that it was still disoriented. “But no Heaven Cent.”

“Thank you,” Dolph said. He returned to boy form. “All monsters but no Heaven Cent,” he reported. “We'd better get off this isle before the next monster comes, because it will be worse than this one.”

Indeed, as he spoke, there was a horrendous bellow from the lovely forest. The skeletons quickly got kicked into the sail and boat, and Dolph and Nada jumped in.

They did not dare look back as the second monster charged, knowing that the sight of it would terrify them.

“There is another isle close by, to the south,” Marrow said. “Shall we sail for it directly?”

“Why not,” Dolph said. “It can't be worse than this one!”

He was wrong. The isle looked as awful as the other looked good. The trees on it were rotten, and the air stank. It was as if all the garbage of Mundania had been dumped there. The only good thing about it was that much of it was shrouded in noxious fog. There was a sign on the shore: HORROR ISLE.

“Why, this is like one of the disgusting settings of the gourd!” Marrow's skull exclaimed. “How delightful!”

“Theb why dod't dou eggsplore it!” Dolph wheezed, holding his nose against the smell.

“Why don't I explore it?” Marrow repeated. “Thank you; I shall! It will be like a visit home.”

“Me too!” Grace’l exclaimed.

“We'll wait here,” Dolph said.

“Low to the ground,” Nada agreed, converting to snake form and burrowing her nose in the sand.

Dolph changed to snake form, and burrowed his head next to hers. The sand helped some by filtering out some of the worst of the odor. “Mother never told me that going on a Quest would be like this!” he hissed in snake talk.

“Mine neither!” she agreed. “I hope you find your Cent soon!”

“Well, it should be on one of these—” Dolph paused. There before him was something ugly, even after allowing for the smell. It looked like a ghost, but not one of the nice ghosts of Castle Roogna. This one was huge and misshapen and had a grotesque scowl stretched across its face.

“What's that?” Nada asked, seeing it.

“It looks like a nasty ghost,” Dolph said.

The ghost floated close. “Booo!” it yelled, gaping its mouth at Nada.

“Eeeeeek!” she hissed, terrified. The ghost laughed, gratified.

“But ghosts can't hurt real folk!” he hastened to remind her. “I know lots of ghosts, and—”

“I never saw a g-ghost before!” she said, trying to bury her head in the sand.

Dolph was amazed. “You never saw a ghost? That's amazing!”

“That's bliss!” she retorted. “They're horrible!”

“Boooo!” the ghost yelled again, behind her.

“Eeeek!” Nada screamed again, almost sailing into the air. The ghost guffawed.

“Now you stop that!” Dolph hissed at it.

The ghost made an obscene face at him.

That made Dolph so angry that he did something he had never done before: he assumed the form of a ghost. It was just as big and almost as ugly as the other. “Booo yourself!” he yelled at it.

Startled, the ghost floated rapidly away. “Serves it right,” Dolph muttered in ghost talk, floating close to Nada.

“Eeeeek!” she screamed a third time, seeing him.

Quickly he changed back to snake form. “Hey, it's me!” he hissed. “I got rid of the ghost!”

She looked horribly relieved, which was not easy for a snake to do.

Then several more ghosts charged toward them. “Bury your head!” Dolph cried, afraid of her reaction. “I'll scare them off!” He became the biggest, worstest ghost he could imagine, so ugly it even horrified himself.

But the other ghosts floated on by, paying him no heed. What were they fleeing from?

Then Marrow and Grace’l came into view. “Hello, Dolph,” Marrow called. “We have checked the isle: there is no Heaven Cent here. What a delightful place, though!”

The ghosts had been fleeing from the two walking skeletons! What a reversal! “But how did you recognize me?” Dolph asked in ghost talk.

“Oh, you're in spectral form,” Marrow said. “I hadn't noticed. Of course I recognized you; you're the only prince on the isle.”

Dolph reverted to boy form. "Let's get away from here! Nada can't stand it, and neither can I.''

“Of course.” The skeletons formed the sailboat, and Dolph held it while Nada slithered in, forgetting to change form. It occurred to him that this might be a better way to sail, so he returned to snake form and curled up with her in the bottom of the boat.

“How could you become a ghost?” Nada hissed as the wind and waves caught the craft.

“I just assumed the form, same's I do for any other creature,” he hissed. “That's my talent.”

“But a ghost isn't alive!”

Dolph hadn't thought of that. “I guess I can assume some un-alive forms too, if they move and act like living things. I never thought about it. When that ghost scared you, I just got so mad—” He shrugged, but of course messed it up in snake form.

“There is another isle close by,” Marrow's skull said. “Shall we check it now?”

Dolph would rather have gone straight to shore and forgotten about isles for a long time. But he knew that he had to check every isle, because whatever one he skipped would be the one with the Heaven Cent, and that it would be better to check diem as fast as he could. “Yes,” he hissed regretfully.

The boat shifted course. Dolph lifted up his snake eyes and looked at the isle they were approaching. It sparkled like a monstrous gem, the rays of the sun seeming to be attracted to it. No trees grew on it, no brush or even grass; it was just one big scintillating rock.

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