Here at Last (30 page)

Jack was one of those well groomed 60-something men with silver white hair, buffed nails, and tailored suits. Although I'd never met him before, I'd certainly seen
men like him – mostly in well-
to-do urban areas.

As I was ushered into his office, he stood up and walked around from behind his desk with an outstretched hand. "Thanks for coming,
Dr. Blackwell
," he said. "I
know that your time is valuable
so I'll be brief." He motioned for me to sit and walked back around behind his desk and sat down.

“It's come to my attention that you're not only excellent setting up new physics facilities, but
you also have an interest in
quantum
mechanics and astrophysics
. Is that right?"

I nodded, "Yes.
I try to keep up on the literature in both fields.
"

"
A few years b
ack, I met a colleague of yours
– JT Knight,” he said looking
at me
intently.
“
We met in Vegas. I believe you were there, too, but when I came by your booth, you were talking
with someone else
so we never had a chance to meet."

When I
heard JT's name, I felt like I ha
d been gut-punched. “Yes, I was in Las Vegas for that meeting
, and
I did attend with JT.”

He looked at me for a moment. “I only
recently
learned
of
JT's death. That was a real shame. The woman he was with
…
that was you?"

I didn't understand what he was driving at so kept a neutral stance. I nodded. “JT and I dated until he passed away."

"I see." He got up
from his chair and walked to
the window
behind him
and looked
out. He repeated, "A real shame." He was quiet for a moment
and turned back to look at me
. "So
phia, the reason I asked you he
r
e
was because I want
to offer you a position with
my
firm.”

I was taken aback.
Given that I was
on
there on
Hastings’
business
, I
didn’t feel fully comfortable discussing my future with
his company
.
“
I appreciate the offer
,
Mr. Morton, but
I really can't accept.
I enjoy working with Hastings.”

"I understand your hesitation, but please hear me out,” h
e
said, sitting
down
again
.
I nodded. “
When I saw JT at a board meeting last January, he indicated that you might be interested
in a new position that we were considering creating.
Of course, you would be well compensated. One of the reasons he thought you might like the position is
because
it’s located in New York City."

That
caught my attention
.
Given that JT had told Jack that I might be interested, I listened.
For the next thirty minutes, Jack Morton and I discussed my possible career with his firm. The
position hadn't opened, yet;
if I did take it,
it
wasn’t slated to start
until April. He handed me his card, thanked me for my time, and walked me to the door.
I slipped into my coat.

“You would be doing me a great favor by considering this position seriously," he told me. “And, if you don't mind m
y
speaking on a
more
personal note
….
" He stopped himself and shook his head. Softly, he said, "Sometimes, you just don't know whether to tell someone these things are not."

I reached up and touched his arm. "What is it?"
I asked.

“JT and I saw each other on a number of occasions after we met in
Las
Vegas.
W
e had a few drinks and shared
some meals
together and
began to feel
comfortable enough
with one another to discuss
more personal matters.
One evening at dinner,
I'd been bragging that my wife and I had just celebrated our
thirtieth
anniversary and asked him when he was going to seriously consider settling down.”
He
smiled at the memory. “’Jack,’
JT
told me, ‘
I’ve been considering it quite seriously.’ Of course, when I asked him who the lucky
lady
was, he mentioned you. He told me that, if everything went according to plan, he was going to propose to you on Christmas
Day
in Paris
, but he never got the chance.
” He looked at me tenderly
.
“
I thought you'd want to know."

I squeezed his arm and nodded but couldn't say anything. He patted me on the sho
ulder, and I walked
out into the frigid Chicago day.

By then, it was
nearly
f
ive
o'clock,
and I went straight home instead of returning to the office
.
Nicholas would be busy with Hannah that evening so I knew that I would have some time alone. I filled up the bathtub with hot water and bubbles and numbly climbed in when it was about half full. I watched the water rise
as my weight displaced it before closing my eyes and s
inking
in
neck
deep
. My cell phone rang, but I
ignored it, staying
in the tub thinking about
my conversation with
Jack.

I
tried to imagine
what m
y life with JT would ha
ve been like. He had
done so much
to make things work with us that we
had never run into any problems
except for the
geographic
distance
between
us. I wondered how
well
we would've
done together
through the years
and what
our thirtieth anniversary
celebration would have been like
. I believe
d
that
we would've
done well
in a marriage
. Knowing JT, h
e
would ha
ve
pampered me in every conceivable way while
I would have
done everything
in my power
to make him feel safe and
deeply
loved.

But that was not to be. Instead,
as
my life lay before me
,
it took the shape
of a
giant
question mark. I began to consider Jack's offer
more seriously
. What would it be like to return to
work in
New York after
having been
away for the past two years? Although I didn't relish
the idea of spending a great deal of time
with my parents, I thought that I could strike a happy medium if I moved back to my old house.
I
’d
just received notice
from
my tenants
that they would vacate
in January
, so
I’d
need to
clean
and
repaint the house
before
renting
it out again.
Or I could
move back in and
live
there
myself.
I'd be close
enough
to
Neelie
and Rhonda
to
see
them often
. My sister and I hadn't had
nearly
enough time together
since
we’d become
adult
s
, and it would be great to
live so close to her
.

I began to ache for New York.
Would New York be my saving grace?
The only
catch
was Nicholas, who
was
firmly rooted in Chicago.
I
also
wondered if he
would
tire of my grief after having already gone through
his own
.

Closing
my eyes
,
I
sank
completely
under the water for a moment. If nothing else, Jack's offer had shown me a pathwa
y out of my current existence, a
way to start my life over in a place that I already loved.
Using my feet, I pushed myself up into a sitting position and wiped the water away from my eyes. Somehow, I felt freer. I felt like I might have a future, a life ahead
of me
, an
d I actually began to get excited about it.

Chapter
28

When I emerged from the tub, I dried myself quickly with a towel and threw on some clothes. For the first time in eleven months, I had a bounce in my step. It wasn't huge, but it was a start. I felt like I had begun to throw off the heavy veil that
had weigh
ed
me down and clouded my life for nearly a year.

The phone rang
, and i
t was Nicholas. “Hi," I answered.

“Hi," he said
intently
, sensing something different
in my voice
.

“How's everything going tonight?" I asked him.

“
Fine. Hannah just left to spend the night
at Lydia’s
. I wondered if you wanted some company."

“Sure,” I said. “I'd love it."

"Great. Do you want to grab a bite
first
?"

“That sounds good," I told him. We agreed to meet
for dinner before returning to my apartment. A short while later, I arrived at
The Chicago Diner, a great vegan restaurant
. Nicholas
had already gotten a booth for us
and
stood when he saw me
.
I walked over to join him, kissing him on the lips before sitting down.

Since we had started dating, Nicholas had been careful about how he touched me. He hadn't tried to kiss me on the lips
since
we’d made love
. Granted, we
’d
hardly had any time together. I'd been busy with work, and he'd been busy with work and Hannah. This was only the
third
time that we had seen each other since the beginning of the
New Year
, and
it was
great
to see him again. I'd missed him.

“
Hi
," he said, a
questioning
smile crossing his face.

“Hey," I
smiled.

“Do you want to talk first, or do you want to order?" he asked.

He could read me so well that all I could do was smile
. He could tell t
hat something had shifted in me
and
wondered
what it was. I would tell him in due course.

“I’m
famished
,” I answered. “Let's order first."

We scan
ned
our
menus and decided quickly
w
hat we wanted. The
restaurant was popular and busy, and the
waitress
finally arrived at our table
and apologized for
the delay
in tending to us. She asked us what we wanted to drink and took our meal orders
before returning
a
short while
later with glasses of water.

"So….,
" he
began, eyeing me curiously
.
“What happened?"

“I was called to a client's office in Evanston today. Apparently, the client had asked
to meet with
me specifically.”

H
is brows
furrowed. "Is that
unusual
?"