His Texas Bride (3 page)

He cleared his throat. Ellie was still looking off the way Tyler had left in a teenage huff. Buck was used to his son’s behavior by now, but he imagined it was new to Ellie.

“I’m sorry about Tyler,” he began, then paused when Ellie’s wide-eyed gaze flashed to him, her eyebrow raised as if to ask him a question.

“He’s been through a lot.” Her voice was soft and gentle when she talked about Tyler.

“And I’m sorry I didn’t handle things better,” Buck continued gruffly.

“You’ve been through a lot, too.”

Buck sighed loudly. “Will you please stop making excuses for me? I’m trying to say I’m sorry.”

She looked him straight in the eye. “Apology accepted,” she said simply.

Buck didn’t remember Ellie being so erratic with her emotions. One second she was ripping him to shreds about his behavior; the next second she was blowing it off as nothing. Even as a teenager, she’d been extraordinarily levelheaded, a characteristic Buck especially admired in her.

At least until it had come to the building of the new highway, the Texas government’s bright idea to make a shortcut, a straight link between Dallas and Houston, which had caused what had once been a small, quiet ranching town to brim over with tourists. With that stupid highway forced on them, Ellie’s pragmatism had gotten the best of her, not that, in Buck’s estimation, the government program had done considerably much to improve Ellie’s lot in life.

Therapy Ranch, indeed.

“Look,” he began tentatively. “It’s good I caught you alone for a few minutes. I believe I owe you an…” Here he hesitated. The first word that sprang to his lips had been
apology,
the word Ellie had just used when he’d said he was sorry, but that wasn’t what he wanted to say. “An explanation.”

Ellie looked at him calmly, her arms relaxed down at her sides. “For?” she inquired lightly.

Ellie already knew what this was about. It was obvious to her that Buck was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and she suspected coming back to Ferrell hadn’t helped matters any. As the old saying went, it was like putting salt in a wound, though admittedly Ellie wasn’t certain exactly which wounds had carried Buck from Ferrell so quickly all those years ago.

Nor did she care. She was
way
past that, she told herself again. But she did want to offer her old friend comfort, especially in his time of need.

“Go on,” she encouraged, rustling up a smile for him.

“I know you must have been pretty angry with me when I left the way I did.” Buck jammed his fingers into his sandy brown hair, making it stand on end.

“Buck, that was twenty years ago,” she reminded him gently, her tone carefully neutral. Why did he want to dig up the past when there was so much to deal with right now, in the present?

“Still,” he drawled slowly. “You must want to know what happened back then.”

Ellie shrugged. “If you want to tell me, I’ll listen. But, Buck, the truth is, what happened all those years ago doesn’t really matter to me anymore.”

Buck stepped back, looking stunned, as if she’d slapped his face, not simply spoken a few quiet words.

“What?” she asked, thoroughly confused by his unusual behavior. Wasn’t Buck relieved to find she hadn’t been carrying a grudge all these years?

“It didn’t matter to you that I left?” He arched a questioning eyebrow at her.

Ellie frowned. “Of course it mattered. A lot of people in this town thought—
I
thought—you and I had a future together. I realize now, of course, looking back on it, that it was just a teenage romance.”

“Was that all it was for you?” Buck cringed. Ellie thought he looked like he wanted to yell. Or punch his fist right through the wall of the stable.

He shook his head but didn’t speak right away.

“I couldn’t stay in Ferrell,” he said at last.

“Because?”

“Because of the development, the highway. I knew this town was a goner. It was sure to turn into a tourist trap. And it
has,
” he said, sounding pleased with his own conclusions. “I noticed it the moment I returned. The town has changed, if not the people. Even my own mother sold out. She would never have turned our ranch into a craft store if it wasn’t for the new tourist trade.”

“So what, Buck? The neighbors are thriving, and business is good. I think the highway was the best thing that ever happened to this little town.”

“Exactly,” Buck replied quickly in a rush of breath, forcefully planting his hat back on his head.

“Let me see if I have this straight,” Ellie said, moving to the door of the nearest stall and sliding down into the fresh straw, wrapping her arms around her knees. She wasn’t sure her shaky legs could hold her much longer.

Buck didn’t follow suit but rather stood over her, almost as if he meant to intimidate her.

Well, if he did, it wasn’t going to work. She wasn’t
going to back down to a sullen Buck Redmond just because he’d finally decided to come home.

“You left because you didn’t want the town to grow and change with the development,” she stated, keeping her voice in a low, careful monotone.

Buck tipped his hat in response.

“Look around you, Buck. You have to see how good it’s been for everyone.”

He shrugged. “If that’s what they want, then I’m happy for them.”

“But it isn’t what
you
wanted,” Ellie mused aloud. “Which is why you left.”

Buck nodded. “That pretty much sums it up,” he agreed fervently. “At least that was part of the reason. I was really angry when my mom sold off all the stock on our ranch. I think that was what made me snap.”

Ellie didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She’d imagined a million reasons why Buck had left the way he had, and 9,999 of those reasons involved her, specifically. Despite the fact that she believed she’d put those feelings in the past, where they belonged, she could not help the joyful rush of relief she felt in finding out that Buck’s leaving had had nothing to do with her.

But it did leave one question.

“Why didn’t you just tell me how you felt? Back then, I mean,” she asked softly, her gaze dropping to her knees. Her feelings were a little hurt now, and she didn’t want that.

“Because I already knew how you felt,” Buck stated plainly, crouching down on his haunches before her and sweeping his hat off his head, brushing his fingers through his thick, unruly mop of sandy brown hair.

“But I didn’t know how
you
felt,” Ellie replied, feeling dangerously close to tears.

Why was he bringing this up again? She was happy with her life now. In
Ferrell,
where she belonged. But there was no denying the attraction she still felt for Buck Redmond, despite everything he’d done.

“And I couldn’t tell you,” he answered. “Ellie, you have to admit that you were as gung ho as anyone about the highway coming through.”

“What, and you didn’t think I’d see your side of things?” she demanded.

“No.”

His brief answer sent another stab of pain through Ellie’s insides. Despite what she’d said to Buck earlier about them having a simple teenage romance, Ellie had always believed it had been more than that. Something real, if not lasting. And now Buck was saying he hadn’t trusted her at all.

Not with what mattered most to him.

Not with his heart.

“You know,” she said after a long, painful pause, “I still wish you would have talked to me. You didn’t even try to work out things between us.”

Buck frowned and shook his head. “I’ll admit I took the easy way out,” he said slowly, his voice gruff. “I didn’t want to face you and tell you I was leaving. If I had seen you, Ellie, I might not have left at all.”

“Would that have been so bad?” Ellie still couldn’t look him in the face.

Buck shrugged and shook his head again. “I don’t know the answer to that question, Ellie. I really don’t know.”

“Things didn’t turn out quite the way you’d planned.” It was a statement, not a question.

“No. They didn’t. But life never does, does it? At least I have Tyler to show for my efforts, even though I haven’t been the greatest dad. And you have your tourist ranch.”

Ellie was so surprised, she stood suddenly, knocking Buck off balance and onto his backside in the hay.

He didn’t know, did he? About the ranch, and the role he now played in it? Somehow she’d assumed someone had told him why he was here, besides to attend his mother’s funeral.

She offered him a hand up, which he willingly took, giving her the crooked grin she’d once found so adorable, and that still did funny things to her insides.

What should she say now?

Should she be the one to tell him about the ranch?

No,
she decided suddenly.
Let the lawyer do the honors
. There was no reason she had to be the one to spring such news on the man. In fact, given the circumstances, she was probably the last one who should be blabbing anything to Buck.

“Tyler is a very special kid,” Ellie remarked, smiling gently at Buck.

“Just don’t let him hear you call him that. He thinks he was born forty years old. And I suppose my lifestyle hasn’t lent him much in that arena.”

Ellie didn’t ask about Buck’s wife, Julie. She knew the story from Mama Esther, heard it during many of the long talks they’d shared. That Julie had abruptly deserted Buck was almost more than Ellie’s mind could comprehend, but that she had likewise abandoned her own two-year-old son—well, that was
entirely beyond Ellie’s frame of reference. She still felt angry every time she thought about it.

“You’re a good father, Buck,” she stated emphatically. “Anyone who sees you with the boy can tell that.”

“He doesn’t think so,” Buck muttered. “And I’m not so sure of that myself. He’s got so much anger built up inside of him. I think he might just explode some day.”

“Maybe I can help with that,” Ellie offered. “My ranch is called
therapeutic
for a reason.”

Buck lifted an eyebrow. “It’s kind of you to offer, Ellie,” he said, running a hand down his face, “but we aren’t going to be in town that long.”

Ellie nodded, but inside, she knew otherwise. Buck didn’t know it yet, but he
was
going to stay. She had to make him stay, or everything she’d worked for her whole life would go up in smoke.

The ranch. Her ministry.

Everything.

And she wasn’t about to let that happen.

T
he reception had mostly cleared out by the time Buck and Ellie returned to the ranch house. Larry Bowman, the town lawyer, was waiting for them, helping himself to what was left over from the food folks had prepared.

Larry smiled as they entered. “I waited around,” he explained kindly. “If you’re feeling up to it, Buck, I thought it might be best if we tackled the reading of the will now, rather than putting it off for later. I completely understand if you would rather make it another day.”

Buck hung his hat on the rack by the door. “No, Larry. Today is fine. Good, actually. I need to settle things up and be on my way as soon as possible.”

Buck didn’t miss the surprised look Larry flashed Ellie, but she just blinked a couple of times and then shrugged before the moment was gone.

“So, did Mama leave Ellie something in the will? Is that why she’s here?” Buck asked, only mildly curious and not at all begrudging whatever his mother
might have left Ellie. He knew the two of them had been close.

Larry scratched the stubble on his chin. “Perhaps we’d all better sit down,” he offered, rather than answering the question directly. “Everything is laid out in the will.”

“You can skip the formal stuff, Larry,” Buck said confidently. “I already know what the will is going to say, and I likewise know how I’m going to handle the estate. We don’t need to go line by line or anything.”

“I see,” Larry answered, not sounding as if he
saw
anything at all. Buck arched an eyebrow. He couldn’t understand what was so complicated. His mother had been a small-town woman, and she’d lived simply. She didn’t have anything of value except the craft store, and Buck
knew
he didn’t want to keep
that.

Shouldn’t really come as a surprise to anyone, least of all Larry or Ellie.

“Why don’t we just cut to the practical stuff and let me tell you what I want to do,” Buck suggested, taking a hard-backed chair and turning it around, straddling the seat and leaning his forearms against the chair’s back.

Larry pulled another hard-backed chair opposite Buck and seated himself, his back ramrod straight, and set his briefcase on his lap. Larry almost appeared tense, Buck thought, which was odd for a lawyer.

Ellie evidently preferred to stand, for she leaned her hip against the table and crossed her arms, giving Larry a warm, encouraging smile, that Buck wished, for a moment, was for him instead.

Wasn’t she here to support him? It looked to Buck like all the support was beaming in Larry’s direction.

“So,” Buck said when it appeared everyone was as settled as they were going to get, “Mama left me the ranch, er, the craft store, I mean. That’s probably the main item, right? I’m sure I’ll want to select some personal items to keep, and, Ellie, you feel free to do the same. I know how close you and Mama were.”

Tears formed in the corners of Ellie’s eyes, but she didn’t brush them away. The sight of her tears was enough to cause emotion to swell in Buck’s own chest, partly over the loss of his mother and partly in sympathy for what Ellie must be feeling.

“Maybe we could go to Mama’s house together,” he suggested, thinking it might be easier on her. He didn’t want to think about the fact that by his words he had disassociated himself from the ranch that had been his childhood home. Instead, Buck forged onward with his thoughts. “That way, Ellie, you can have first dibs at all her little knickknacks and things. I’m sure Mama would be happy to see some of her keepsakes passed down to you.”

Larry looked down at the folder in his hand, then adjusted his tie at the neck and cleared his throat. His face was expressionless, but a flush was rising on his cheeks. “Uh, Buck, son, I’m not sure how to tell you this, so I’m just going to come out and state it plain. There is no ranch.”

“What?” Buck knew he was squawking, but Larry’s statement had hit him with the force of a semitruck. “What do you mean there is no ranch? My mama lived in that place her whole married life. She might have turned the place into a tourist trap, but she wouldn’t sell it off to some stranger.”

Ellie’s arms dropped to her sides, and her fists grasped the edge of the table. She gave an audible huff and glared at Buck. “She did sell the store—the
ranch,
Buck. Last spring. I know this is going to be hard for you to accept. She wanted to tell you about it in person, but she became ill before she could make a trip out to see you. She didn’t plan it this way.”

Buck buried his head in his hands. Could this
be
any worse? “I don’t get it,” he murmured between his palms. “Why would Mama sell her own home? Was she too frail to run the store by herself anymore?” That didn’t sound like Buck’s mother at all, but he was grasping at straws to come up with any reasonable explanation for Esther’s actions.

“She was lonely,” Ellie said sadly, but her gaze shot fierce daggers at Buck, leaving him no doubt where she placed the blame for his mother’s circumstances. “That was a big old house for her to live in all by herself. She ran her business single-handedly until the day she sold out to a neighbor, but it wasn’t because she was too
frail,
as you put it.”

Buck frowned. Ellie just had to rub it in that he hadn’t had a close relationship with his own mother. He felt guilty enough without her adding her opinion on the matter.

“It was only when she became ill,” Ellie continued, “that Mama Esther needed special care.”

“She couldn’t be out on her own,” Larry added in a businesslike monotone, that Buck thought might have carried just a hint of a judgmental quality to it.

What was it with everyone today? They couldn’t just mind their own business?

“Why didn’t I know about any of this?” Buck demanded, feeling repeated sharp-edged stabs of guilt with every word Ellie and Larry said.

“Again, Buck, your mother wanted to tell you in person,” Ellie reiterated. “And everything happened so fast, with the illness and all. We were all completely focused on Mama Esther. Everything else had to wait.”

“Someone should have called me,” Buck ground out through clenched teeth. “I should have known.”

“You’re right,” Ellie agreed softly, though still with an edge to her tone. “Someone should have called you.
I
should have called you. But it was against Mama Esther’s wishes for me to do so, and I simply couldn’t bring myself to deceive her in any way, not even for you.”

Buck groaned. From the clipped way she spoke, barely holding back her emotions, he knew she meant
especially
not for him. “No property, then.”

The money Mama had received from the sale of the assets had no doubt gone to cover her medical expenses—maybe even a Christian charity or two, knowing his mother. Buck saw his dream of owning a horse ranch floating right out the window, but he was more heartbroken by the fact that he hadn’t been there for his mother when she needed him. She hadn’t even told him she was ill.

And all because of his pride.

“Actually,” Larry interceded, breaking into Buck’s thoughts, “that isn’t precisely true. You do own property, Buck, just not the ranch you grew up on.”

“What?” Buck thought he might be squawking again, but he couldn’t help it. He’d never been more bewildered in his life, and on top of the roiling
emotions he was feeling, the mental turmoil was almost more than one man could endure.

Guilt piled on guilt for the way he had treated his mother.

For the way he had treated Ellie.

“Your mother used the money from the sale of your childhood home to invest in another property—a working ranch,” Larry explained.

A
working
ranch?

Buck straightened a little at that news. He was the owner of a working ranch?

Except that it didn’t make any sense. Keeping Buck’s childhood home a
working
ranch had been the subject of his argument with his mother twenty years ago. If Mama had yielded, wouldn’t it have been for her own son?

Although after the way he’d acted, he guessed he wouldn’t blame his mother for writing him off. Still. The pieces didn’t fit together to make any kind of clear picture. “My mother wasn’t interested in working our ranch, and she certainly wouldn’t have been capable of working a new one.”

Larry nodded gravely. “That is true. Your mother never worked the new holdings herself. At the moment, the ranch is, er, being leased out to another party.”

“I see,” Buck said, a plan beginning to form in his mind. This wasn’t so bad. Having tenants currently leasing the ranch wouldn’t make his dream impossible—just a little bit more of a hassle. The end result would be no different than his original plan—sell the ranch, take the money and run.

“So there are people renting my place,” Buck asked,
fighting hard to keep the excitement from showing, not wanting to look callous in front of Ellie.

“In effect,” Larry answered, flashing a brief, troubled glance at Ellie, which Buck did not miss.

What were they were keeping between themselves?

Whatever it was, it was clearly deeply bothering both of them, and neither of them would make eye contact with Buck, though he switched his questioning gaze back and forth between the two of them several times. Ellie pushed herself off the table and began pacing in back of Buck’s chair.

“So I’ll just give the renters a realistic notice, or offer to sell to them, if they want. In any case, I can sell
that
property,” said Buck. “I don’t want to be unreasonable about it, but I have things I need to do elsewhere. How quickly do you think you can wrap this up, Larry?”

“Well, there’s the matter of contacting Ferrell’s real estate firm, if you want to sell,” Larry hedged, his gaze noticeably shifting away from Buck’s.

“What do you mean,
if
I want to sell?” Buck demanded, leaning forward on his arms until the back of the chair bit into his skin. “I just told you that’s exactly what I want to do. Do you have a problem with that?”

“Yes. Er, no. There are…” Larry hesitated, once again glancing in Ellie’s direction. “Extenuating circumstances that may affect your decision to sell.”

Buck could not imagine an
extenuating circumstance
that would make him change his mind on this, but he shrugged and nodded for Larry to continue.

Larry blew out a breath and rushed on, his words
falling on top of each other in his haste to spit the sentence out. “What you need to understand, Buck, is that you are currently sitting on the property in question. Quite literally.”

It took Buck a moment to absorb Larry’s meaning, but then his eyes widened and he whistled his surprise, just before his racing heart took a nosedive into his stomach. “Mama bought
this
ranch?
Ellie’s
ranch?”

Ellie cleared her throat and went back to leaning on the table, where she’d been earlier. She brushed a nervous hand over her long black hair, and her gaze darted randomly around the room. She looked everywhere but straight at Buck and took her time before speaking. “Technically, Buck, it’s
your
ranch.”

Buck needed a minute to ingest all the information that had just been thrown at him. Mama had sold his childhood home to buy Ellie’s ranch.

But why?

Nothing made sense anymore.

And where had his mother lived after the sale of their family home? Buck decided that was the first and most important question to be answered, so he stammered out an inquiry. “Wh-where did Mama live, then?”

“Why, with me, of course,” Ellie answered immediately, her smile wavering as her gaze got distant and her eyes luminescent with moisture.

“Ellie was the one who cared for your mother during her last days,” Larry added gently.

Buck rubbed a hand against his jaw, which was starting to prickle with a day’s growth of beard. “I don’t know what to say.” He shook his head. “I—I guess thank you would be in order,” he said, nodding
his head in Ellie’s direction. “I really had no idea. None at all.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Ellie snapped and then took a deep breath in an apparent attempt to calm herself, though, from the flush on her face, Buck didn’t think it was working. “No one expected you to, Buck,” Ellie continued. “As we already indicated, Mama Esther wanted it to be this way. I’m sure she had her reasons.”

Buck’s mind was racing. Ellie rented this ranch—this
Christian therapy ranch,
which Buck had personally thought was just a fancy term for a tourist trap—from his mother. And Mama had lived with Ellie. Ellie, not Buck, had been the one to care for his mother during her illness.

Here.

Right where he was sitting.

He looked around, narrowing his gaze as he realized—now that he was paying attention to such things—that he
did
recognize some of the furniture and knickknacks as his mother’s. He blew out a breath. He really must have had his head in the clouds, shadowed by grief, to have missed such an obvious conclusion. His guilt and shame at the loss of his mother were obscuring his judgment much more than he had realized.

Ellie watched the mix of emotions crossing Buck’s face as he took in all this new information—hurt, anger, grief and confusion warring for prominence. She said a silent prayer for the man she’d once loved with her whole heart.

“You don’t have to make any decisions today,” Larry informed Buck. Larry stood and gave Buck’s shoulder a conciliatory pat. “Take as much time as you need.”

Buck flashed Ellie an apprehensive look, his pupils dilated and foggy, lending a grayish tenor to his eyes. He nodded slowly.

“I guess I do need a little time,” he murmured, his voice ragged.

Despite the feelings warring inside her, Ellie wanted to move to Buck’s side, to hug him. Just to hold him again, let him know he had a friend. But she wasn’t sure how he’d take it, so she didn’t move from where she leaned against the tabletop. She clasped her hands tightly to the table edge to keep from launching herself at him.

“I’m going to get out of here and give you two a bit of privacy,” Larry continued, his voice as low and compassionate as always. “I’m sure you have a lot to discuss. Let me know when you’ve reached a definitive decision regarding the ranch, Buck, and we’ll go from there.”