Holding a Tender Heart (32 page)

T
hat evening after supper Verna waited as Wayne held the buggy shafts and Reuben came out of the barn with
Daett
's driving horse, Milo. Her brothers knew where she planned to go—to see Joe. This was something they wholeheartedly disagreed with, yet they'd had their say earlier and were now showing nothing but love toward their sister.

Verna stepped forward to fasten the tugs when Reuben arrived and maneuvered Milo between the buggy shafts. He shooed her away and pointed toward the buggy. “Climb in. We'll get the buggy ready.” She did as she was told, and the two men quickly had Milo and the buggy ready to go.

“You're sure you want to do this?” Wayne asked as he threw Verna the lines.

He already knew the answer, so Verna just looked away.

“Get up!” she called to Milo. She glanced back to see her brothers gazing after her with sorrowful looks. At the last minute,
Mamm
stepped out on the front porch to give her a little wave. Verna clutched the lines. She was a grown woman now with duties beyond childhood loyalties. In her heart she was Joe's
frau
.

Verna guided Milo north at the end of the lane and drove along the empty roads. Her thoughts turned to her younger siblings.
They should be at the hymn singing by now. Ida had left with Debbie some time ago with Buttercup hitched to the buggy. Lois had ridden with Emery. Verna had waited until all the young folks from the district were at the evening's activities before she ventured out. The last thing she needed were curious glances as she passed buggies heading in another direction. It wouldn't take many guesses for people to figure out where Bishop Beiler's eldest daughter was bound.

The shame she caused her
daett
bothered her the most. He'd sat on his rocker with his popcorn bowl filled before she left. He'd tried to act cheerful, but all the while his face had been shadowed with sorrow. Verna wiped her eyes on her dress sleeve. This was taking a toll on all of them, and she had her share in the blame.

“Please forgive me, dear
Hah
, if I am wrong,” Verna whispered toward the heavens. There was silence broken only by the steady beat of Milo's hooves. How kind of
daett
to allow her the use of his favorite driving horse. He could easily have forbidden it, and she would have had to use one of the smaller workhorses because Ida was driving Buttercup tonight.

Deep sorrow filled her heart as she watched the hayfields go past the buggy door. She was the eldest girl in the family, and yet here she was the one who broke
Daett
's and
Mamm
's hearts first, when all along everyone thought that task would fall to Lois and her love for the
Englisha
world. Minutes later Verna approached the Weaver farmstead. It looked deserted. A few of the Weavers' cows gazed over the barnyard fence at her. The draft horses paused in the pasture to lift their heads as she drove in. Several of them trotted closer to the fence along the road.

Had everyone left for the evening? But Joe wouldn't be out somewhere…and certainly not to the hymn singing. Verna pulled to a stop by the hitching post and climbed out to secure Milo. She took quick steps toward the front porch. There she gave the front door a sharp rap. When there was no response, she knocked again. Perhaps
she'd been wrong. Maybe Joe
had
gone to the hymn singing. But how could that be?

Verna returned to the buggy but hesitated before she untied Milo. She ought to check the barn yet. Joe was somewhere. Maybe he was working late on his chores and hadn't heard her drive in.

Verna was halfway to the barn when the door opened and Joe appeared. Happiness spread over his face when he caught sight of her. “Verna, you have come?” He hurried toward her, and she held out her arms to him. But he stopped a few feet away, and his face clouded over. “You shouldn't be here, Verna. You're only hurting yourself and your family. Didn't your
daett
tell you this afternoon? My membership has been placed on probation.”

“
Yah,
he told me.” Verna frowned. “Please, Joe, let's not argue. I have my own choices to make. I believe my heart more than what some people believe using their ears and eyes. Will you hold that against me?”

“But you can't do this.”

“Joe.” Verna reached out to take his hand. “Joe, aren't you glad to see me?”

“What can I say?” he said softly. “You know I am. I guess I have to gather my wits about me.”

Verna pulled on his hand. “Perhaps you could gather them better sitting somewhere. Maybe in the house?”

“
Nee
.” He stopped her. “I still have chores to finish in the barn. Would you help me? We can talk then.”

“
Yah
.” Her face brightened. “You know I will, but I'm afraid we'll only talk about one thing, and it won't do much
gut
.”

“I suppose so.” He held open the barn door. “One's mind doesn't stray far from trouble, it seems.”

“Then we must make it stray elsewhere.” She grasped both of his hands. “Let's see only the future tonight. Let's see only what lies
beyond
this trouble. Is that not what faith does? Believing that
Da Hah
sees us even in our difficulty and has planned a way of escape?
Was that not the attitude of the great prophet Daniel when the king threw him to the lions?”

A smile played on Joe's face. “I'm afraid I'm not Daniel, Verna. And we don't quite face the lions. Unless you want to call the
Englisha
law a lion. But they are only doing their duty.”

Verna sobered. “There are lions everywhere, Joe. I don't know where exactly or who they are, but they wish to tear our lives apart. If you go to jail it may not be to the lions' den, but it will be the lions' den for our hearts.”

Alarm flickered across Joe's face. “That's exactly why you shouldn't be here, Verna. You can still save yourself. Go back to your
daett
and tell him you're sorry, that you made a mistake. That you'll wait until my situation is resolved and then decide what you want to do. That would be so much better for you, Verna.”

“And for you?” Her eyes searched his face. “Would that be the best for you?”

He avoided her gaze. “I don't think of myself, Verna, but of you.”

“That's why I know you have a golden heart, Joe.” She touched his face. “Let's say no more about going back. I will stand with you even if you go to jail. If that happens, we'll make things right with the church when you come out.”

Horror crossed his face. “But, Verna, if I'm found guilty that could be twenty years or more of jail time. You and I would be old by then. I can't ask this of you. Your time for bearing children would be gone.”

A wry look flickered on her face. “
Yah
, Joe. Did I not say there are lions? That's why you must not be found guilty.”

He tried to keep the despair off his face. “I didn't do these actions I'm accused of, Verna. All I can do is depend on that truth.”

She winced. “That doesn't mean you won't be found guilty, Joe. I don't know much about
Englisha
law, but I imagine innocent people are often put in jail. It's a matter of what they can prove or not prove.”

He groaned and sank down on a hay bale. “Then I'm finished.
They have the witness's word and my fingerprints on the stolen items. I was seeing her during that time.” He buried his face in his hands.

She pulled on his arm, her voice insistent. “Tell me this, Joe—and don't even think of lying! Have you been with her? In that way?”

His head jerked up, his eyes wide. “I would not have done such a thing, Verna!”

Relief flooded her face. “Then she can be driven back. I know it, Joe.
Da Hah
will help us.”

“But how, Verna?”

She sat on the hay bale beside him. “I don't know, but I'll talk to Debbie. She knows about such things. I think
Da Hah
may have sent Debbie to us partly for this hour of our trouble. We need someone who understands the
Englisha
ways, Joe. They are so different from us.”

“
Yah
,” he allowed, “they are.” Silence fell, filled only by the soft rustlings of the barn settling around them. Moments later Joe leaped up from the bale of hay. “I'm forgetting my chores.”

Verna managed a strangled laugh.

Joe grinned. “You can tag along. I only have to feed the calves.”

Verna stayed close to him while he measured the feed. After the bucket was ready he dropped it within reach of the hungry animals.

“Have they been weaned long?” she asked.

“Only a few weeks. They're spring calves.”

“Will you be keeping all of them?”

He shrugged. “The heifers, I think.
Daett
is expanding his herd next year. And these are quality stock.”

“I wouldn't expect anything else from the Weaver farm,” she teased.

His spirits seemed lifted by the time they were done. Joe led the way back to the front of the barn and lit a lantern.

Verna sat on a bale of hay and waited as Joe hung the lantern from the barn ceiling. Lazy flies soon buzzed around, and a moth banged into the bright glass and tumbled to the barn floor.

Verna watched it flutter downward and a horrible thought filled her mind. Surely she wasn't a moth drawn to Joe's flame of love, only to have her heart burned and destroyed? This wasn't a sign from
Da Hah
, she told herself. Joe was not a flame, and she was not a moth. They were in love, and
Da Hah
would honor their love. She had to believe that or she would lose her mind. Verna glanced over at Joe's face as he sat beside her.

“Hold me, Joe, please,” she whispered. “I'm scared.”

He looked startled but slowly pulled her into his embrace. His arms were strong. He smelled of clean grain and fresh hay.

Verna turned and buried her head against his chest, willing the fear to leave. Here she was safe and would always be safe. Because Joe loved
Da Hah
and His ways as she did. And
Da Hah
would not fail them.

“Verna?” His voice sounded far away.

“
Yah
?” She looked up, still nestled against him.

“I know I have no right to ask this of you…being in the state I am. I was going to wait until everything is clear, but my heart is moved tonight by your love and by my desire for you. Will you be my
frau
, Verna? When this is over?”

She jerked upright, her heart suddenly pounding at the words she longed to hear. “Oh, Joe! You know my answer to that!”

His arms wrapped around her again.

She clung to him.

“Verna…” His calloused hands found her face.

She closed her eyes as he came closer. She held her breath as he kissed her, and she drank in the sweetness of it, her face burning brighter than the lantern flame. But she still met his gaze above his clean-shaven face when he moved back. Their world would be made right. It couldn't be otherwise with the love rising inside her. She would never find another man more
wunderbah
than Joe. There would never be a more memorable night than this—despite their troubles.

He leaned in close again, and moments later, Verna pulled away. She had better go home now. It wasn't
gut
that they were alone too long with no one in the house. They didn't need more whispers in the community about things that were not true.

Verna stood up with Joe's hands still in hers. “I had best be going, Joe. But I will see you again soon.”

He rose to his feet. “
Yah
, I suppose you should. I will pray that
Da Hah
soon brings this awful time to an end.”

Verna wrapped her arms around his neck, and he pulled her close for another long kiss. Then she slowly pulled back. If she didn't leave soon, she would float home. In a daze, she followed Joe outside and accepted his hand as he helped her into the buggy. He undid the tie rope and put it under the buggy seat.

“Stay on the road,” he said with a twinkle in his eye.

“You are a very naughty boy,” she said. She clucked and Milo took off at a good clip. Joe had seen enough of her flaming face for one evening, Verna figured. She had touched his heart with her love, and Joe had asked her to be his
frau
! Verna hugged herself as she drove Milo out of the Weavers' driveway. This she would tell no one until they could see what she could see—that Joe was a very
gut
man.

Thirty