Holding a Tender Heart (41 page)

“We will pray about that later,”
Mamm
spoke up. She led Verna inside to seat her on the couch. “You have to control yourself now. This has gone on long enough. Soon you will be opposing the ministry outright, and where will that lead you?”

“But it's all so wrong,” Verna sobbed. “It's so very wrong. They should be helping Joe instead of punishing him.”

“You will speak no more like this.”
Mamm
's voice was stern. “We don't know what Minister Kanagy's counsel will be. And calling a man to repent of his sins and bear the harvest he has birthed is for the betterment of his soul. You know that, Verna. You're forgetting it only because someone you love is suffering.”

“I will stay with her,” Ida said as she slipped out of the kitchen to sit beside Verna on the couch. “You need to go,
Mamm
.
Daett
is waiting. Being late for the meeting isn't going to help anything.”

Mamm
stood up. She wrung her hands before leaving to join her husband on the front porch. When she arrived,
Daett
sighed and led the way to the barn. There the two harnessed Milo in silence.
Mamm
climbed into the buggy and held the lines while the bishop pulled himself into the buggy.

“I'm going to die an early death if this keeps up,”
Daett
muttered.

“You must not tempt
Da Hah
.”
Mamm
handed him the reins. “His ways are past ours and difficult at times to understand. Have you not said this yourself so many times in your sermons? Is the fact that your daughter is suffering reason to abandon sound wisdom?”

“You're right,” Bishop Beiler admitted. He settled back into the buggy seat.

Mamm
stared off into the distance. “And you know you won't be winning any argument with Minister Kanagy tonight. This thing has caused quite a stink in the community.”

“I feel like I'm losing my mind.” The bishop slapped the reins gently against Milo's back. “I allowed Verna to call on Minister Kanagy. I should have known better.”

“What's done is done, Adam.”
Mamm
slipped her hand under his arm. “
Da Hah
will use this for His own
gut.
You know He always does.”

“And to remind us that we're human.” Bishop Beiler's eyes sought the horizon where the sun was setting in a blaze of red and gold. “And to never let us forget that He alone is God. And that man will die someday—return to the dust from which he came.”

“Don't speak of such things tonight,” Saloma whispered. She pulled close to him. “Is it not enough that we still have each other? And we will still have all of our children, even when this is over? Other girls' hearts have been broken before, and Verna's will heal. She will learn much by accepting
Da Hah
's will…whatever that is.”

“You are a blessed woman, Saloma. You comfort my heart more than you know.”

Saloma smiled up at him as he turned in at Minister Kanagy's driveway. “Remember, I love you, Adam. And speak your mind tonight but do not act foolishly.”

Bishop Beiler pulled to a stop at the hitching post and gave his
frau
a warm look as he climbed down to secure Milo. “You will pray for me, perhaps?”

“You know I always do, Adam.”
Mamm
climbed out of the buggy and waited for him until he returned from putting Milo in the barn. They walked together toward the house.

Minister Kanagy opened the door for them, his face serious. “
Gut
evening.” He motioned for them to enter.

“
Gut
evening,” Bishop Beiler replied.
Mamm
echoed his words.

“The others are already here,” Minister Kanagy said as he led the way to the living room.

The others didn't have weeping daughters to attend to, Bishop Beiler told himself, so they could get there on time. He kept silent and took his seat on the couch.
Mamm
disappeared in the direction of the kitchen from where women's voices could be heard.

“We might as well begin,” Minister Kanagy said. “It sorrows me to take such measures as to call this meeting, and I did so only because the matter weighs so heavy on my heart. And because the bishop's family is so closely involved.”

“I assume this is about Joe and Verna,” Minister Graber interrupted. “Has some new thing come up which makes this meeting necessary?”

“
Yah
, you could say so.” Minister Kanagy gave a nervous laugh. “More shame for the community, I'm thinking. Verna came by the other day—I understand with Bishop Beiler's blessing—to see if she could talk me into allowing her to have contact with Joe again.”

“Is this true, Bishop?” The question came from Deacon Mast.

Bishop Beiler winced. “Verna did beg me to reconsider my opinion, and I told her I wouldn't. She then wanted to speak with Minister Kanagy on the matter, and I did not forbid or encourage her.”

“But is this not a little strange?” Minister Graber offered.

“This whole thing is more than a little strange,” Minister Kanagy said. “I say this situation with Joe Weaver has caused enough shame and reproach to each of us, as well as the community. Verna's visit just pushed me over the edge. That's why I have called this meeting. It's time that Joe is asked to face the consequences of his actions. It is time he's required to face the things he did while living in sin. It is also time he cease this attempt at defending himself. That's just a sneaky way around not admitting his sin. And do you understand what will happen when Joe has Paul Wagler testify on his behalf? The shame we have known now will be like a child when he spills a glass of milk. At the trial,
Da Hah
's name and those of our
people will be disgraced beyond our imagination. And all of it will be placed in the public record, where generations of
Englisha
can read them.”

Deacon Mast coughed. “I'd better say something right here. I don't know what it means yet, but something else has come up.”

“Another shameful thing?” Minister Kanagy stared at him in horror.

“Perhaps, but I'm not sure.” Deacon Mast cleared his throat. “Joe's
daett
came over this afternoon with the news that Joe's lawyer told him a new witness has been found. A witness for the other side. And Lloyd wanted prayer for the situation. It seems the owner of the place where Paul claims he and Joe were at on the nights of the robberies—this Slick's Bar and Grill—will now testify that Joe and Paul left early on all of those nights. The implication is that Paul himself may be involved in this thing.”

“
Da Hah
have mercy on all of us!” Minister Graber squeaked. “This cannot be
gut
news for anyone. Does Joe deny this?”

“Of course,” Deacon Mast said. “Lloyd claims none of this is true.”

“So why haven't you told me this before?” Bishop Beiler leaned forward. “Perhaps we wouldn't have needed this meeting. I doubt if Joe will want Paul to testify now.”

Deacon Mast shrugged. “I didn't know what the meeting was about. And I didn't have time to finish my chores, make the trip over to your place, and still be here on time. Anyway, what's the great urgency? None of us can do anything about this other than pray.”

Minister Kanagy's face hardened. “This is yet more reason to have this meeting. Did Joe say he was stopping this defense now that there is a new witness against him?”

Deacon Mast shifted on his seat. “I understand the lawyer still wishes to continue. She thinks Paul's testimony may carry more weight since Paul is Amish. His testimony is all they have, I understand.”

“So now we will have an Amish church member testifying up there, telling the whole world about the sins of his youth.” Minister Kanagy's voice had risen until it filled the living room. “And then we will have an
Englisha
man going up and calling the two Amish church members liars. Are any of you having a problem with this? And all of this so that one of our church members can draw himself back from suffering for the wild seeds of sin he has sown? How is this being tolerated? Does our bishop have nothing to say?”

They all stared at Bishop Beiler. Silence filled the room. What was he to say? This had clearly turned into an awful situation. All the words he had prepared in Joe and Verna's defense had vanished.

“Do you have something to add to what Minister Kanagy has said?” Minister Graber asked.

“I…well…I…” Bishop Beiler forced the words out. “I admit this news does not sound
gut
, but I must also think of my daughter's happiness. She's deeply in love with Joe, and if Joe really hasn't done these robberies, he shouldn't have to suffer for them.”

Minister Kanagy sounded incredulous. “You would wish to bring this shame on the community for one person's
chance
at happiness? How can you say this thing? How can we as ministers lead our people if the individual does not sacrifice his or her well-being for others? And this is so much more than that. Joe has done evil, and he must be called upon to end this shame once and for all. Is this not true?”

They watched him again.

Bishop Beiler shook his head. “You can do what you wish; this is my family after all. But I would counsel that we wait and see if something more doesn't come up. This news has only arrived today, and there may be other things said tomorrow.”

“Against a witness of this kind?” Minister's Kanagy's hands twitched now. “I think not. Waiting will accomplish only shame. The people need to see leadership and a clear example established. What better thing than for Joe to bear his shame and accept what
Da Hah
's will is. Are these not the words by which our people live?”

He was right, Bishop Beiler thought, and he hung his head. “I will not stand in your way if this is your counsel.”

Minister Kanagy wasted no time in replying. “It
is
my counsel. And what of you others?”

They nodded in turn, with Minister Graber going first. Bishop Beiler couldn't blame them. If he were in their shoes, he would do no differently. The least he could do was act like the bishop and place the decision into words.

“Deacon Mast will tell Joe our decision then on Saturday. And if he doesn't listen, we will take this before the church. It is our decision that Paul will not testify before this
Englisha
court. If Joe wishes to tell his story, he can. Other than that, his words are to be
yah
and
nee
before
Da Hah
alone.” They nodded even before he was done, and Bishop Beiler rose to his feet. “I believe it is time I go home and comfort my daughter. Though Verna may well be like Rachel from the scriptures who could not be comforted.”

Thirty-Nine

T
he following Friday night Verna lay in her room listening to the tick of her alarm clock on the dresser. Midnight was close, and the house had been silent for some time. She ought to be asleep herself, but sleep wouldn't come tonight…like it hadn't come on every night this week. The days had turned slowly since that awful evening last week when
Daett
came home from the meeting at Minister Kanagy's with such dreadful news.

Verna hadn't slept a wink that first dark night. She'd cried until there were no more tears. Ida and Debbie had stayed in her room until she shooed them out. The next day had been a blur seen through sleep-deprived eyes and a pounding headache. She'd never seen
Mamm
look so worried.
Mamm
even insisted she take a nap after lunch.

But the fitful half hour of sleep on the couch had only made the following night even more restless. To top it off, Verna had lost weight this week. The pins on her dress strap were already inches tighter. Sometime this would have to end. Joe couldn't do anything more about his situation. He had sat in the church services last Sunday with his head low. He never came to the hymn singing anymore, so Verna stayed home herself.

“You can't continue acting like this,”
Mamm
had told her. “Life must go on.”