Hopeless For You (3 page)

Besides, I'd never be with him. I wouldn't let myself. I reached up and touched the slight lump of jewelry hidden beneath my shirt, reassuring myself that my dearly departed fiancé's ring was safe on its chain. Love was something I'd never know again.

We reached the Jeeps, which were colored army green and emblazoned with the feather and star logo of the conservation organization. Rebecca joined Kade in the first Jeep with the luggage while Gina and I sat with Blaine in the other. Gina beat me to the front seat but I didn't mind.

The Jeep bumped along the dirt and gravel road. Blaine and Gina chatted animatedly the whole time but I let their conversation wash over me without paying much attention. I was too absorbed in the feel of the wind on my face in the open-top Jeep. I loved the raw evergreen smells. On a whim, I pulled the tie out of my hair and let the strands fall loose.

"Ash, look!" Gina's excited voice startled me.

I followed her gaze skyward, where two birds pirouetted high in the air, black silhouettes against the incredible blue. I heard a distant, high-pitched shrill.

"Falcons." Blaine said, his tone almost reverent. "They're the reason we're here. We track each and every one of them."

"Track? How?" Gina asked.

"Leg bands."

Gina furrowed her brow. "Leg bands?"

I answered for Blaine. "The bands have radio frequencies they use to ID the falcons. If any of them is hurt, or dies, the bands will show exactly which nest it belongs to. Right?" I glanced at Blaine.

He nodded. "That's right. You're pretty smart. Both of you are premed students, right?"

Gina was the one who answered. "We are." She started to twirl her hair with one finger. "I'm looking forward to banding some birds with you, Blaine."

I sank back, letting Gina have her flirtatious little conversation. I stared at the clear blue sky. The spiraling falcons were visible for a good portion of the drive and almost seemed to be shadowing our movements. Such beautiful birds. Falcons didn't have to worry about such things as love and loss. Their biggest problem was finding a meal for the day.

About half an hour later, the Jeep began to slow. The trees gave way to a wide clearing and Blaine drove into a complex of buildings that was just like the picture on the web site. Log cabins set among concrete buildings. Wooden signposts. Pine trees everywhere. The place had more the feel of a summer camp than a wildlife center.

Kade pulled up beside us in the other Jeep and unloaded four of the bags, handing them to Gina and me.

"I guess the chivalry ends now," I told Gina.

She shrugged, extending the handle of her bigger piece of luggage and hoisting the smaller handbag onto her shoulder by the strap. I did the same with mine. Each of us still had one small duffel bag in the Jeep but Kade slung them both over his powerful shoulders, apparently having mercy on us.

Rebecca instructed the two men to give us a quick tour on the way to our rooms, then she excused herself.

Muscles cording as he carried the two duffel bags, Kade led the way.

Blaine hung back with Gina and me. He gestured to the main structure. "This is the administration building where Rebecca runs pretty much everything. The big building
beside it is the aviary where we take in injured birds. Though the focus is on falcons, we handle a bunch of different species because no other locals have the expertise. Those buildings over there are the dormitories. Yours is the smaller one. The other one has a gym with a few weights and treadmills."

Kade held open the door to the smaller dormitory with his foot and Blaine went inside, followed by Gina. As I passed Kade, Blaine called over his shoulder, "You two are sharing a room."

My eyes went wide and I felt my heart rate triple. I glanced at Kade. He smiled broadly. "Don't get your panties in a twist. He means you and Gina."

"I know what he meant," I shot back dryly, hoping my eye roll covered my initial surprise. Why had I thought even for a second that Kade and I would be sharing a room? It was silly. I had no intention of ever sleeping in the same room as him. And Rebecca would certainly never allow it.

Still, my heart continued to race and I felt short of breath. Just because he had a hot face with a muscular body and a few sexy tattoos didn't mean I was into him. Not at all. Though I have to admit I wondered what his abs looked like beneath that thin shirt. I bet they were rock hard. Like his—

Ash, just stop it.
He wasn't someone I'd ever get with and that's all there was to it. Everything about him screamed player. Girls threw themselves at him. He was hot and he knew it, and he took advantage of that fact to con women left and right, I was sure.

Blaine escorted us upstairs to our small, spartan room.

The window was open, letting in a fresh, cool breeze. There was just enough space for two beds and a couple of side tables. Not so different from the campus residence hall we'd shared last semester, except there was no bathroom.

Kade dropped off our bags. I was kind of hoping he'd stay longer but he left right away. Blaine lingered, though. "The key for your room is in the desk drawer. The only internet access we have is in the admin building. As you've probably guessed, there are no cellphone towers around so if you need to make a call there's a land line in the admin building, too. They monitor long distance calls so be careful how often you use it or you're in shit. Well." He grinned widely. "Get comfortable and unpack, then come on down to the other dorm building. It has a bigger dining hall and we're having a welcome dinner for the baby ducks."

Gina's brows drew together. "Baby ducks?"

"The newbies. Five others arrived this week. You two complete the flock."

"Ah." Gina pursed her lips. "How many people do you have up here altogether?"

"Including the seven baby ducks, we're up to nineteen."

"Are we the only ones from outside Canada?"

"Pretty much. Most everyone else is from British Columbia. We got one from Toronto. Another from Quebec. We do have one person from Germany but you two are the only Americans. Don't worry about it, though. We won't hold it against you." He winked and I wasn't sure if it was for me or Gina. I decided on Gina. "Dinner is served in two hours. Drop by as soon as you've had a chance to freshen up. Maybe you can help with the cooking."

"We're looking forward to it." Gina smiled and flipped her hair back. "See you, Blaine."

When Blaine had disappeared down the hall, Gina shut the door and then sank
down on the bed with a dreamy sigh. "He's gorgeous. What a hunk."

I rolled my eyes and made a face. "We're not here to meet men, Gina."

"Aren't we?" Gina dragged her luggage over to the narrow space between our beds. She zipped open the top of her luggage and started to pull out clothes. "There's something to be said about Canadian men, I tell you. Blaine is so scrumptious. Yum. I wonder what he tastes like."

"Gina!"

"What? You're probably wondering the same thing. That Kade is quite the showpiece himself. Did you see the biceps on that boy? Bet he works out in that gym every day. Him and Blaine, both. I know where I'm going be spending most of my free time. And don't you just love Kade's tattoos? I can tell you're dying to lick them right off him."

"You can have them both," I said, meaning it. "It's not like you haven't done that before."

Gina shrugged. "Stuck in the woods with two hot guys? I'll take it. You'll cover my back, won't you? Make sure neither one finds out I'm sneaking around, 'kay? Or maybe I should just have a threesome from the beginning and get it over with."

"Sometimes you act like such a guy," I said, laughing.

Gina shrugged. "I'm a man who just so happened to be born with breasts and a pretty face."

"Yay." I rolled my eyes, opening my own bag and pulling out the neat stack of clothes. I wondered if I should change for dinner.

Something soft smacked me in the face. I caught the rolled up pair of hiking socks that fell away and pitched them right back at Gina. "Hey!"

"Sorry, couldn't help it." Gina grinned mockingly. "Your negative energy is dragging me down."

"Negative energy. Pfft." I opened the closet and was happy to find a set of hangers.

"Seriously, stop moping, Ash. Things could be worse. We could be interned to two creepy old guys rather than that yummy pair. Besides, I know you have the hots for him."

"What are you talking about?"

"Kade. Definitely not the kind of boy you want to take home to mom and dad, not with all those tattoos, but I saw the way you were looking at him back there."

I crossed my arms. "And just how was I looking at him?"

"You know..."

I shrugged, trying to ignore the heat creeping into my cheeks. "I don't, actually."

Thankfully, Gina didn't press the matter.

It only took about half an hour to unpack. When we were done, Gina exhibited classic signs of cellphone withdrawal. She seemed jittery and kept going to the window, hoping to find a signal.

"Gina, there's no cellphone tower out here, remember?"

"I know," Gina said. "But there's gotta be a weak signal around somewhere. There always is."

I smiled, shaking my head, then stowed my own phone beside the nightstand. I'd downloaded an app that blared sounds in the morning to wake me up. I used to have it
run songs from my own playlist as the alarm but that just got me hating the songs, so I'd switched the tone to a foghorn. Gina and I pretty much hated foghorns to death these days.

The two of us found the communal bathroom at the end of the hallway and freshened up. Gina kept her cellphone close in case she found a signal. She didn't. Finally we returned to our room and Gina dithered over what to wear.

I decided to change for dinner as well. There was no dithering on my part, though. I pulled on a pair of hiking jeans and a T-shirt and then I braided my hair, flipping the loose plait back over one shoulder. I pointed out to Gina that these people were going to see us sweaty and dirty all the time anyway, so there wasn't much point in worrying about how we looked, but she ignored the comment.

Gina eventually chose a tight black dress and smiled sheepishly when I shot her a disapproving frown. "When in Rome..."

"We're not in Rome," I said. "You should dress like me. It's how everyone else will be dressed."

"Well you know me, always the contrarian."

I laughed. Ah, Gina. Loved the girl.

I glanced at my hair in the mirror, checking for loose strands.

"Good thing you dyed your hair just before we left," Gina said. "We couldn't dare let them catch you as a blonde. I'm the bimbo in this friendship, remember?"

I shook my head, forcing a grin. That wasn't the reason I dyed my hair black and she knew it.

We left the room, locking it behind us. We probably didn't have to lock it way out here in the middle of nowhere but old habits died hard.

As soon as we were outside, I could hear the noise and laughter coming from the neighboring dorm building. Light poured from the windows of the first floor and the front door was thrown open to the evening air, which smelled of fresh pines. I inhaled deeply, loving it.

As we neared the dorm, the pine scent was quickly replaced by something nastier: cigarette smoke.

I picked out Kade, all biceps and pecs, leaning against the porch rail and having a smoke. He didn't seem to notice us until our footsteps creaked on the stairs.

Gina smiled at him. "Hey!"

"Hey, ladies." Kade gave us a fleeting glance. His eyes didn't meet mine. "I'll see you inside." He leaned over the rail, took a drag from his cigarette and tapped the ashes onto the dirt.

"Oh." Gina, who I knew was used to undivided male attention, looked confused for a moment but then she was all smiles again. "Okay."

I pushed her toward the open door. "Some people don't like
being bothered when they're smoking." That was the best explanation I had for his rudeness.

Rebecca greeted us warmly and introduced us around. I was overwhelmed. Though nineteen people wasn't a lot, the dining room felt cram
ped and crowded. Because of my nervousness, I found myself immediately forgetting everyone's names.

After the introductions, I edged my way toward a free space in the corner, nursing a soda while Gina worked the room. She was at home here, among people. She was practically made to be a family doctor. She had the social side down, anyway. Gina could
fit in with anyone, from the curator at the museum to the rapper at the club, whereas I felt completely out of my element in most social situations.

I noticed Kade slip inside twenty minutes later. He quietly skirted the edge of the room and ducked into the kitchen. A few seconds later, he reappeared, followed by a much larger woman who made the room feel even more cramped. She was almost as tall as Kade and was what my mom would have called 'well-padded'. She and Kade each held two large trays of food. From the way the woman handled the trays I could tell she was strong beneath
all that bulk. And I'd thought Rebecca was powerful looking. This woman was just, well,
daunting
.