Hot Southern Mess (Hide Your Crazy) (18 page)

The ride back to his place was really quiet, creepy almost. I tried to play it off like it didn’t bother me; but inside I was screaming at myself to keep my mouth shut. All I wanted to do was tell this man to take me. Even if my mind cons
tantly repeated to itself that this was a bad idea, I would give myself over to this man entirely. All he had to do was ask, and I was his. In the beginning he told me that he didn’t share. Yet here I was, fucking this man, yet going out tonight with another. Everything about that situation screamed messed up, but I was doing it anyway. Reid was a rock star, and I needed to remember that.

“So this is like a date?” Reid questioned, finally breaking the silence.

“It’s not like we are dating,” I muttered, unsure of the words that came out of my mouth. Sure Brantley and I weren’t exclusive, but we were kind of seeing each other………………I think. Sleeping with Reid last night wasn’t planned, but I could have stopped it. Sex with him was everything I wanted. Being with Brantley was everything that I should need. So why in the world am I being torn in two different directions with these men? Brantley wanted something with me, and Reid only wanted sex. Sure, sex was fucking fantastic, but there was never going to be any commitment between the two of us, like there could be with Brantley.

I didn’t need to be in a relationship, and I really shouldn’t want to be in one either. There is no reason to attach myself to another when it only leads to devastation.
This inner battle I was constantly wagering with myself was becoming a little alarming. Yes, my previous relationship ended bad and left me jaded for future prospects. Yes, the two men that made me even entertain the thought of dating again are men that I really should just stay away from. Yes, my sanity is wearing thin and I just might make the wrong decision, thus thrusting myself into the burning flames of hell. My heart might be in a million pieces and blacker than the creature of the black lagoon, but it wasn’t prepared to open up and love again. So why in the world was I sitting here feeling like going on a date with Brantley tonight was the worst possible decision I could ever make?

“
It’s just coffee,” I muttered, keeping my head down and focusing on my plate.

“When are you going to get it
, Molly Anne? I don’t share with anyone.”

Chapter 18 Slutty Nurse or a Unicorn?
Decisions, decisions.

“So you’re telling me that you spent the entire night with Reid and didn’t screw his brains out? Is there something wrong with you?” Danielle questioned while skimming through a rack of slutty costumes.

“I never said anything along those lines. I just mentioned that I stayed at Reid’s last night and went to breakfast wit
h him this morning. That is all.” I shrugged. I didn’t want to talk about my escapades with Reid, considering everyone on the damn tour already knew that there was something between Brantley and I. Why I couldn’t keep my legs closed when around that man was an unsolved mystery to me, and talking about it wouldn’t help solve the case either.

“Whatever
, Molly, no one just stays at Reid’s place and doesn’t get naked. It’s like the cardinal rule of dating a rock star.”

“First
, I’m not dating anyone, nor will I be. Second, there is such things called friends. I’m your friend and I haven’t slept with you, right?”

“Well, I don’t munch carpets
, and there is no such thing called friends in this business. Only stepping stones for bigger and better places.” Danielle winked.

I shook my head and continued to browse the costume selection at the Halloween store. Who even knew there was an “Adult” section t
o a place like this in the back? Strippers might actually wear more clothes than some of these costumes. Nipple tassels and leather collars were not exactly what I had in mind to wear to a party, but then again I was in the company of rock royalty.

“Too much?”
Danielle asked, holding up a very little micro sixties flapper dress. I’m sure it would barely cover her ass, and if she bent down ever so slightly, her girly bits would be out for a showing.

“Well,
it’s not something I would have picked out for you to wear.”

“I’m not talking for me
silly; this would look fantastic on you!”

There was no way I was putting that damn thing on. Skirts and dresses have never really been my thing, considering I was forced into fucking sparkly contraptions for years upon years.
Panicking that she would make me try on the damn thing, I reached into the rack and grabbed the first costume I could get hold of.

“I was thinking something more like this,” I replied, holding the frock up for her inspection.

“I think you’re going to need a pair of handcuffs to go with that get up.” Danielle flashed a wicked grin.

Glancing over to the costume in my hand, I realized now that I had been holding up a naughty cop uniform. Well fuck me.

“Hurry it up, I want to see what it look
s like,” Danielle whined from the other side of the curtain.

I can’t believe out of sheer stupidity that I didn’t even glance at what I was picking off the rack. There was so much concern with what Danielle was holding that it didn’t even cross my mind that what I was grabbing could b
e worse.  So, here I stood, staring into the mirror at this horrible costume that looked ludicrous on me. The short blue jumper barely covered my ass, and the plunge in the front went way past my bra line. It had almost been like I was dipped in latex, considering that there was not an inch of give to the fabric that clung to my skin. Even my damn nipple rings poked through this stupid costume.

“I don’t know Danielle, this is not really me,” I groaned, turning slightly in the mirror to glance at my backside once again.

The curtain was ripped open and a high pitched squeal followed quickly.

“You have got to be kidding me! You
, my dear, are fucking smoking!” Danielle shrieked, grabbing my shoulders to make me face her.

“I don’t know;
I mean it’s not really me.”

“That’s exactly what Halloween is about. Slutty girls get to dress even sluttier
, and women like me and you get to dress a little skankier without anyone judging us. It’s the one night that it’s okay to dress like a street walking whore. Besides, what you have on is nothing like a whore would wear.”

I didn’t want to dress skanky. I didn’t need the unwanted attention
a costume like this would bring. All I wanted was to find a stupid costume, enjoy the party, and maybe get a little something afterward.

“Come on, they ha
ve hats and handcuffs over here.” Danielle smiled, snatching my wrist in her hand and yanking me out of the dressing area.

“Danielle,” I wailed while using my free hand to yank down the dress that kept riding up.

“Oh stuff it, Molly, you’re going to love me for this.”

I texted Reid after leaving the costume shop. I really didn’t expect him to answer me considering we didn’t leave breakfast on the greatest of terms, but I still held out some hope of him being civil.
It was like a damn hot and cold switch with that man. I should have known that being just friends with the male species never really worked, especially when you added sex to the mix. One person always ended up developing feelings and getting hurt in the end. Normally it was the female in the mix, considering we are usually the more emotional one in relationships.

Tossing another load of laundry into the washer, I set out to unpack a couple more boxes from the move. Somewhere in the last couple boxes marked wardrobe were a pair of black fuck me boots that I would need for my Halloween costume. I had only ever worn those boots once, and it was for a gala that my parents put on and cringed when I walked into the room wearing
them. I considered them a keeper for future events, since it made my mother snarl when she noticed what I was wearing.

My phone started to beep on my bed, and I glanced at the clock sitting on the nightstand. Somehow the afternoon had gotten away from me and it was a little after five. Brantley sai
d he would pick me up around six, so I was praying it wasn’t him asking if I was ready earlier.

*I’m sorry I’m such an ass. Reid*

Wow, I wasn’t expecting that from him. My mouth went dry as I held the phone in my hand. This man had made it clear on several occasions that he didn’t do apologies for anything. He was a take it or leave it kind of person, and receiving this text was totally out of left field for a man like him.

*Thanks.*

My fingers punched out the response before my mind could even realize what my hands were doing. Quickly, I hit the send button and tossed the phone back on the bed. This man confused the hell out of me. Scurrying to my closet, I rummaged through the remaining clothes still hung up and pulled out a plain black long sleeve and a pair of jeans. The phone beeped again and my head about snapped off my neck turning to the sound.

Swiftly,
I grabbed the phone and slide my thumb across the screen.

*Be there in twenty. XO Brantley*

My body sighed and a frown appeared on my face. That wasn’t the reaction I should have been having. Tossing my clothes on, I headed to the bathroom to straighten out my hair. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I couldn’t help but glare at myself.
Knock this shit off, Molly Anne, now is not the time to get all moody and shit.

I hurried to finish my sluggish self and went to turn off the bathroom light. Quickly glancing at myself in the mirror one more time my mother’s voice
ran through my head. “Sparkle Baby,” she would yell from the audience of pageants, trying to get me to relax my forced smile. Narrowing my eyes, I flicked off the light switch. “That’s better,” I grumbled in silence.

I had just finished tuning Simon when the buzzer for my door sounded. “Just a minute,” I yelled out, gently placing Simon back in his case and scurrying for the door. Apparently my feet weren’t going as fast at the rest of my body was, as I stumbled over my uncoordinated self and fell face first into the door. My cheek met the solid wood door first, sending a sickening thud throughout the apartment.

“Son of a bitch,” I grumbled loudly, pulling myself up off the floor. 

“Molly, are you okay in there?” Brantley asked worriedly from the other side of the door. Reaching up, I twisted the knob and heaved the door open. Brantley quickly poked his head in the room and glanced around.

“Molly?”

“Yeah, I’m right here,” I replied, still sitting on the floor.

Brantley stepped further into my apartment and immediately dropped to his knees, reaching his hand out to caress my throbbing face.

“What in the world happened?” His eyes sparkled with concern, only making my rather stupid moment feel even dumber by the second.

“Oh
, well, I thought I would open the door with my face. Apparently, that wasn’t something that could be done.” I laughed, pulling my face out of his grasp.

“Got any ice?”

“Na, it’s okay.” I shrugged, slowly standing and rubbing the spot that hit first. My cheek was hot to the touch, and I knew it would turn into an amazing bruise come tomorrow. Being pale skinned always led to some remarkable battle wounds. It was always fun coming up with some elaborate story to explain why I looked this way, considering telling someone that I was generally a klutz was never exciting, anyway.

“Are you sure? It’s okay if we are late,” Brantley questioned, his eyes laced with concern.

“Yeah, really, no biggie. If you hadn’t guessed by now, I’m basically a walking accident.” I laugh.

“Maybe we should get you a bubble,” Brantley joked, reaching out and rubbing my shoulder.

His touch didn’t set me on fire like Reid, but oddly enough it once again soothed the inner turmoil that contended in my mind.

“Might be a smart idea,” I called out, heading over to pack up Simon and grab my jacket off my bed.

“You hungry?” Brantley called out from my living room.

I shrugged, setting Simon’s case down and tossing on my jacket. “I guess I could eat.”

Brantley flashed that foolish grin of his while leaning down to grab Simon.

“I got him,” I quickly gushed out, reaching for the case out of his hands.

“Nonsense, Molly, let me get it.”

The inside of my cheek was going to be raw from biting it all evening long. Sure, there was a relaxing quality when I was with Brantley, but there was also a side in me wanting someone a little more
rough. Someone a little more like………………..well………………..um…………………shit, like Reid.

The coffee shop on the east side
was packed, but no one seemed to bother Brantley and I. Sure, he wasn’t a huge star yet, but his band was charting in the top ten lately, so it would only be a matter of time before he was bombarded by groupies everywhere he went.

“
You going to play tonight?” Brantley leaned over and whispered in my ear. His hand had casually rested over the back of my chair for the last half hour; his fingers gently running over the back of my sweater. The first time his fingers connected with my skin a shiver ran through my body, causing an instant blush to sweep over my face.

“I don’t know.” There were so many good musi
cians playing tonight. I hadn’t had much time while on tour to pick up Simon and work on my material. The nights I played with the guys we always did covers, so my journal basically sat void of lyrics I normally spent hours in the evenings working with.

“Play something for me.”

No girl could resist the charm of this man. He was a true gentleman, one that had yet to turn into cold and cynical in this messed up world. How could I possibly sit here in this chair the entire evening when he asked me to play for him?

“I don’t know,” I muttered softly, chewing on my bottom lip. Brantley leaned in and softly pressed a kiss to my temple, instantly erasing the doubt and worry I had been mulling around in my mind.

“Please?” He asked again.

A smile appeared on my face as I nodded my head. How could I possibly say no now?

The stage was small, as only a couple lights light up the platform and the single barstool centered on the wooden platform. I wiggled in my seat, adjusting the strap of Simon on my neck and pulling the head of the microphone down.

“Hi. I’m Molly, and well
, a wonderful friend convinced me to get up tonight, so……………………..um…………….yeah. This is for you, Brantley.”

“………….and here I am, beg
ging for you to accept me,” I sang the final line of the lyrics I had been working on some time ago. This was just another song earlier; lyrics from my notebook and a melody I had written one afternoon. Sure, all songs had some sort of deeper reflection, words coming from some place that I could not explain. But, for some reason, this song was the perfect scenario on my situation right now. Being up here on that stage made me realize how much I needed someone like Brantley in my life; someone who cared for me on a different level, and didn’t want me just for a booty call. I needed the stability from someone who was going to be there at all times. A man who I could turn to when my life was falling to pieces; someone willing to pick me up in the aftermath. Brantley was someone that I could see sharing my life with; taking the good along with the bad. I didn’t need a forever kind of thing, just someone who could be there for me right now.