How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure

L O U P A G E T

Author of the Bestselling HOW TO BE A GREAT LOVER

How to Give Her

A B S O L U T E

PLEASURE

T o t a l l y E x p l i c i t T e c h n i q u e s E v e r y W o m a n W a n t s H e r M a n t o K n o w

In an instant it dawned on me that men, like women, are not only

curious about sex, but feel confined or restricted by what they know
ONE

and do not know. The more I began to listen and talk to men, the more I realized that most men seem to think and feel that they are

⎯⎯⎯ ● ⎯⎯⎯

expected to
already
know everything there is to know about sex, as if the information is tied to their Y chromosome, which neatly and T h e Y i n a n d t h e Y a n g

completely surfaces with the first hair on their chin. The more I thought about it, I realized that men are actually acculturated to o f t h e K a m a L o u t r a

know all about sex—what works well, feels the best—both for themselves and for the women they’re with. Whereas it’s all right for women not to know, many men feel enormous pressure to possess an encyclopedic knowledge of all things sexual. This is not only an enormous falsehood but also an unfair burden for men.

The solution to this problem is simple. First, men need to be granted the permission to ask questions about what they don’t know or are not comfortable with regarding sex. Second, and perhaps more important, men need to realize that all women are different and You Asked for I t

therefore require different treatment. There is no possible way to know what works best for a woman without asking her. Finally, men I can still remember when I first realized how frustrated men were need to realize that the onus of sex does not fall solely on men. Both about sex. The turning point was one particular night about four men and women should be responsible for learning and then years ago. It was a Saturday in late May, and I had just arrived at a knowing about how to please one another. If these factors are in friend’s house for a dinner party. I had been tied up in traffic on the place, any man can become an expert lover.

freeway and was the last guest to arrive. I was already tired and had lost my enthusiasm for the party, making an effort to be polite, charming, and upbeat. I sat down next to a gentleman who looked to I’ve been curious about sex since I was a teenager, but it took me be in his early forties and introduced myself. We got to talking and almost twenty years to gain enough confidence and knowledge to he told me that he was a television producer. He then asked what I feel comfortable speaking about how to be a great lover. As a did. For a moment, I felt myself begin to blush, and then I went for woman, my dilemma was that there was no apparent way to be both it. I should not have felt embarrassed or hesitant to say what I do a nice girl and one that knew a lot about sex. When I realized I was after having done it for three years at that point, but I had found curious about sex, I also realized that there was no safe, dependable myself already feeling a bit shy. I then said to him, as demurely as source of information I could access. My girlfriends knew only possible, “Well, I give sex seminars to women.” Without skipping a limited amounts about sexuality. And sleeping around wasn’t a beat, he looked straight at me and asked, “Well, do you give them to reasonable or respectable option. So after I surveyed the porn men, too? We need them!”

magazines, the movies, and various books on the subject, including the
Kama Sutra
,
The Joy of Sex,
and
The Sensuous Woman
, I came Openmirrors.com

up fairly empty-handed. There was no one source that gave me what builders, actors, producers, television executives. They have come in I was looking for: accurate, complete information about sex.

all sizes and shapes, education levels, and personalities. And they Consequently, I began talking, asking questions, and then sharing have all come wanting to know more about sex—specifically, how information about sexual experiences with my women friends. It was better to please the women in their lives. As one political consultant from and through them that I began to learn what works, what turns said, “Making love makes me feel manly, in the most basic sense of men on, and what doesn’t. After all, who is better to say what works the word. There is nothing that makes sex with my partner better than someone who knows what works for them?

than knowing I can take care of her. So if there is information out Soon I found myself an amateur sexpert simply because I felt it there for me to experience that more and differently, then I want it.”

was important and necessary that accurate, reliable information about Another seminar attendee, this one an investment banker from New sex be available to all women—whatever their age, background, or York, said he wanted this book for another reason. Referring to his experience. I had gathered the stories and details of the women who wife, he put it this way: “We’ve been together ten years and I want to had shared with me and began assembling and presenting the know how to make it more fun, more interesting.” Another male information to focus groups, which then gave me feedback. To make seminar attendee, a photographer from Palo Alto, California, said, a long story very short, that’s how the sex seminars for women were

“Please, just tell me what works.”

born.

I hear not only yearning in these voices but a demand for the Not surprisingly, as soon as these women returned to their tried-and-true. A real estate developer from Philadelphia said in husbands, boyfriends, or partners, I began receiving calls, frustration, “I wouldn’t ask her to do anything she doesn’t want to suggestions, and then pleas from men to “please, please, if you’re do, but I’d love to know anything that is going to make our sex life doing this for women, you have to do it for us, too.” So in the same keep growing. It is good, really good, but I want to make it better.”

way that I created the seminars to teach women about their bodies, men’s bodies, and what the two can do together to experience sex in the most passionate ways possible, I began my quest to do the same
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for men. Over the course of the last six years, I have interviewed and Women are like golf courses. Even though you may have played shared information with literally thousands of men and women.

a course a hundred times, chances are your approach shot rarely That’s how both the men’s seminars and this book were born.

lands in the same place on the green. You also have to adjust your The men’s seminar is a group of six to ten men, introduced only putt, according to the condition of the green—sometimes it’s by first name, not by surname or by what they do. At a big round drier, sometimes it’s wetter. But above all, golf, like sex, requires table I distribute to each man an “instructional product,” which is a finesse. It’s decidedly not played like hockey—”He shoots, he life-size woman’s genitalia made of a soft, fleshlike material molded scores!”

from a porn star. Without too much fanfare, I show the attendees what works for women and what doesn’t—manually, orally, during This book was created for you, gentlemen, because you deserve penetration, how women most often reach orgasm, and what toys to it. Besides, how could I resist the slow, rising din of men (the use that will drive women wild in bed. This information is based on boyfriends, the husbands, the partners) yearning for a book about the data I’ve gathered from my field researchers.

how to give absolute pleasure to the women in their lives? So here it The men who attend my seminars have been all types—

is: You asked for it, you got it.

professionals, artists, athletes, doctors, mechanics, architects, Becoming an Expert Lover

techniques of a master seducer but also incorporate the insight that makes you open, willing, and ready to climb such heights.

My work these past seven years giving the sexuality seminars to both
How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure
is about how to please men and women has taught me a great deal about male and female women, pamper them, and thrill them. So I’m making another sexuality as well as their psychology. The information in this book, assumption here: that you, the readers, not only want to be on the top then, comes from my listening and observing and hearing the of your sexual game but also care deeply and passionately about feedback that thousands of men and women share with me about women. And although the women in your lives will be the direct what works, what doesn’t, and what they’re missing. Don’t you want beneficiaries of the treasure trove of information between these to know what women honestly want, like, and don’t like? I want to seductive covers, doesn’t it make sense that by pleasing your partner, be your special confidante, a translator and provider of women’s you will receive that pleasure back in spades? Sex, like other hidden desires and wishes. Inside these two covers, I have endeavors, whether they are career-oriented, spiritual, physical, or assembled—for her benefit as well as yours—the most scintillating, emotional, is about synergy. Specifically, if you please your partner, most practical, and most reliable information out there. If you her satisfaction builds and bounces back to you, increasing your believe that one’s sexual prowess is gained by being with skilled, pleasure. As one physician from Seattle said, “There is nothing that sensitive, and informative lovers, think of this book as that one lover is better than knowing I have taken care of her, that I made her feel who will share all she knows—and she knows a lot!

great. That for me is what making love is all about.” Another man Another way to think of me is as your coach. In sports it’s said, “Like most guys, I do not want people knowing what I do with perfectly understandable and acceptable to have a coach, as it is in my wife at those most intimate moments. And even though women business to have a mentor. While I don’t pretend to be a doctor of may talk about sex, we men don’t or can’t. But my male pride went sex, I do think that my so-called time in the field, gathering into orbit when my wife told me that I had become the guy her information from thousands of men and women, has enabled me to friends wanted cloned and who they talk about in their locker room!”

present you with what works best in the sex department for both women and men. I presume that you are tired of the same old, stale information that purports to give you the real goods but falls short.

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Rather, I think you ultimately want to know what works, what’s The use of lipstick apparently originates from wanting to have the going to warm her up, get her excited, and eventually have her oral labia resemble the blood-flushed look of the aroused genital scream your name in ecstasy. I will describe the tips to perfect your labia. In the animal kingdom this indicates to the male that the

“game” and point out snafus that may hinder your giving her female is sexually ready.

absolute pleasure. I’m going to tell it like it is, from the point of view of women, and I’m not going to spare you any details. I feel In preparing and doing the seminars, I discovered that reliable or confident that, as your coach, I will not lead you astray, but rather accurate sources of information about sex are very limited. The will lead you down the path to mutual bliss.

typical sources men use to learn about sex are slanted and This book is the first step in making you an expert lover. How incomplete. Male pornography—both magazines and films—is does one become an expert? In order to transform yourself from a problematic for three main reasons. First, the majority of porn competent lover to one who can bring his lover to unparalleled magazines and movies are created with the visual stimulation/fantasy heights of pleasure, you must not only learn the tried-and-true factor as the driving force and are therefore often unrealistic. Second, soon as possible and get into the action, geared at men aged because they “program” men to expect the unrealistic in sex, men are seventeen to thirty-seven.”

disappointed when women or their bodies can’t or don’t deliver.

Another downfall of relying too heavily on porn and the fantasies Third, because these movies and magazines are targeted to men, they they promote is that they tend to program men to expect a certain ignore half the population (i.e., women), which means that what kind of turn-on. Again, this expectation is rarely met in the real pleases women is not adequately or faithfully represented.

world. If your lover is unable to play out the fantasies as they are Although I have nothing against visual material that stimulates depicted or described in the movies or magazines, porn can actually men, I think it’s important to know that while some of these fantasies distract and/or come between you and her. A good example of this is may work in your mind to get you excited, they may not work in real the frequency with which “deep throating,” swallowing, or anal play life. By all means, use these movies, written scenarios, or other appears in pornography. Again, while the images may stimulate or forms of pornography to pleasure you and even your partner. I know titillate you, many women cannot deep-throat and prefer not to one seminar attendee and his partner who loved to read each other swallow or be penetrated anally. Of course, there are women who some of the erotica stories in
Playboy
. He said, “Sometimes it just love anal sex and the sensation of your semen down their throats. But helps to get us in the mood.” But when these scenarios are actually from what thousands of women have shared with me, many women brought into the bedroom and acted out, many men and women are would rather not engage in these activities. Specifically, the gag often surprised, frustrated, and ultimately disappointed when they reflex makes it nearly impossible to deep-throat. Again, the women in the films who are performing such feats are professionals, who do such moves day in, day out for the camera, not for a man they love or
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