How to Handle Your Emotions (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (29 page)

“God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The L
ORD
, the L
ORD
, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation”

(I
SAIAH
12:2).

Examples of situations that might threaten your sense of security include:

•
Financial security: “If I don’t do well on this presentation, I might lose my job. Then I won’t be able to support myself or my family.”

•
Physical safety: “If I drive too far from home, I might have an accident and possibly even be killed.”

•
Physical health: “If I am not careful about what I eat or touch, I may get sick. I could even die!”

•
Possessions: “If I lose my home, I will have nowhere to live and I won’t be able to survive.”

Solution:
Learn that your security is in your personal relationship with the Lord.

“In God I trust; I will not be afraid.

What can man do to me?”

(P
SALM
56:11).

Fear does not appear in a vacuum. Just as Gideon’s seven years of terror at the hands of the Midianites set him up to be fearful, something set you up to be controlled by fear, and something serves to trigger that fear. The setup occurred in the past, while the trigger occurs in the present. Finding the truth about your past fearful setup will provide wisdom as to why you are being controlled by fear in the present.

“Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place”

(P
SALM
51:6).

Traumatic experiences:

—Childhood sexual abuse or rape

—Tragic accident

—Divorce or the death of a loved one or a cherished pet

Scare tactics used on you by others:

—Threats of violence by a parent

—Threats of violence by siblings

—Threats of violence by others

Underdeveloped sense of self-worth:

—Neglect, criticism, or ridicule

—Poor school performance

—Lack of musical, artistic, or athletic abilities

Parents or family members who displayed excessive fear:

—“My aunt had a panic disorder.”

—“My father worried constantly.”

—“My mother was fearful and overprotective.”

Realize the reason for your fear and tell yourself the truth about both the past and the present.

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me”

(1 C
ORINTHIANS
13:11).

Emotional Overload

Denial of your feelings:

—“I must suppress my pain.”

—“I must deny my disappointments.”

—“I must reject my anger.”

Excessive need to please people:

—“I must keep everyone from getting angry.”

—“I must keep everyone happy.”

—“I must be at peace with everyone.”

Internalization of stress:

—“I have a lot of hidden anxiety.”

—“I fail to admit stressful situations.”

—“I have no outlet for venting my emotions.”

Strict or perfectionist parents or authorities:

—“I never pleased my parents.”

—“I never was good enough.”

—“I received harsh punishments.”

Realize the reason for your fear, acknowledge it to the Lord, and let Him help heal you from your emotional hurts.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”

(1 P
ETER
5:6-7).

Avoidance of Threatening Situations

Refusing to face your fears:

—“I minimize my fearfulness.”

—“I think it will go away in time.”

—“I think that I can avoid fearful situations.”

Giving no opportunity for change:

—“I don’t seek help or talk to anyone.”

—“I don’t try to figure out why I am fearful.”

—“I don’t try to learn to confront my fear.”

Continuing to reinforce your fears:

—“I accommodate my fears rather than challenge them.”

—“Everything I do is contingent on my fearfulness.”

—“I don’t go anywhere that might raise my anxiety level.”

Reinforcing your negative thought patterns:

—“Fear dominates all of my decisions.”

—“I evaluate everything through the filter of fear.”

—“My thoughts are dominated by fear.”

Realize the reason for your fears and let the Lord help you face them.

“I am the L
ORD
, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you”

(I
SAIAH
41:13).

Runaway Imagination

Expecting life to be threatening:

—“I always expect hostility and hatred.”

—“I always expect resistance and roadblocks.”

—“I always expect danger and disaster.”

Assuming the worst will happen:

—“I always assume rejection and ridicule.”

—“I always assume hurt and heartache.”

—“I always assume frustration and failure.”

Believing you can never change:

—“I have given up thinking my life will ever be good.”

—“I think I will be controlled by fear forever.”

—“I don’t believe God can or will help me.”

Thinking you have no control over the situation:

—“I am overwhelmed when I experience fear.”

—“I am powerless when I experience fear.”

—“I can’t think clearly when I experience fear.”

Realize the reason for your fear and take the lies you are believing and replace them with the truth.

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things”

(P
HILIPPIANS
4:8).

So again, Gideon’s troops are thinned! This time God is looking for fearless men who are fervently committed to engaging the enemy in battle— men who will keep pursuing the enemy even when hungry, thirsty, and exhausted.

God has Gideon lead the remaining thirsty men to a body of water, where He narrows ther ranks again. This time Gideon is to select only the 300 who scoop water into their hands and lap it while maintaining vigilance. These become God’s chosen army to defeat the Midianites:

“The L
ORD
said to Gideon, ‘With the three hundred men that lapped I will save you and give the Midianites into your hands. Let all the other men go, each to his own place’”

(J
UDGES
7:7).

We see no indication here of a physical cause for Gideon’s fear—no coronary condition, no blocked arteries, no heart attack. However, God sees something in Gideon’s heart that is fatal to faith—a fortress of fear, albeit crumbling, but still standing after living so many years under terror and tyranny. Gideon’s fear continues to result from how he views his situation, how he views his insufficiency, and how he views God. He still lacks complete trust in God, whom Gideon sees as having no real commitment in spite of His promises and miraculous assurances.

Some people, however, experience fear and anxiety when no fearful situation exists, and they become further frustrated when they try to talk themselves out of their anxious feelings but to no avail. They have no idea their feelings are simply a reaction to something physical, such as a particular medication or illness.

If you are suffering with a level of anxiety that is interfering with your ability to function normally, consider taking the following steps:

Obtain a Thorough Medical Checkup

—Tell the doctor that you feel unusually anxious. Be specific. While you cannot be
genetically
predisposed to panic attacks, you may be
psychologically
predisposed to having them.

—If you do not get substantial help, get a second opinion from a medical doctor who specializes in anxiety disorders.

“The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out”

(P
ROVERBS
18:15).

Consider Your Medical Condition

—Especially to be evaluated are heart, endocrine, respiratory, metabolic, and neurological conditions. Identify any possible deficiency in B-vitamins, niacin, pyridoxine, calcium, or magnesium.

—The medical world has identified a condition called Anxiety Disorder
Due to a General Medical Condition. That such a condition exists clearly indicates that a person’s poor physical health can contribute to anxiety or even panic attacks.

Consider Your Exposure to Substances

—There is a form of anxiety that is called Substance-induced Anxiety Disorder.

—Any exposure to toxins, drugs, medications, vitamins, and minerals—legal and illegal, over-the-counter and prescription—should be evaluated, along with food substances (for example, caffeine or sugar).

In the midst of your affliction, know that your heavenly Father loves you, listens to you, and will help you.

“He has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help”

(P
SALM
22:24).