How to Handle Your Emotions (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (28 page)

Trembling or shaking (feeling like you are unable to control your body)

People with abnormal fear are not as afraid of the
object
of their fear as they are of the
symptoms
of their fear.
²²
And indeed, their fear is great. They experience the same feelings that Job did.

“Terrors overwhelm me; my dignity is driven away as by the wind, my safety vanishes like a cloud”

(J
OB
30:15).

Gideon will gradually come to realize that
God’s call to a person is never dependent on that person’s strength or ability.
God’s call is always determined by His own plan and power, and we are asked to respond with faith in His strength. The more Gideon comes to believe God will give the Midianites into his hands, the more he is able to go forth in complete faith and follow
God’s plan for the future. Though initially afraid, Gideon moves forward in faith!

Fear can paralyze or mobilize. Gideon could have been paralyzed by doubting God, by fearing that the problems would never change, by wallowing in his bottom-of-the-rung status of being the least in his family. Negative doubt-filled messages could have played over and over in his mind. If that had been the case, his response to being addressed as a mighty warrior would have been, “Mighty warrior? Not a chance!”

Like Gideon, we all experience times of anxiety, but not all of us experience it in the same way, for the same reason, or to the same degree. Typically, we want to avoid anxiety like the plague! However, anxiety is not to be feared, but to be understood and to be used as a prompt to trust in the Lord all the more. The Lord Jesus Christ advises,

“Do not let your hearts be troubled.

Trust in God; trust also in me”

(J
OHN
14:1).

Normal, fearful concern can be healthy and helpful:

—It motivates us and leads to increased efficiency.

—It forces us out of our comfort zone.

—It helps us avoid dangerous situations.

—It can cause us to live more dependently on the Lord.

Notice that the psalmist, who put these words to music, turned his focus to the Lord when he was anxious:

“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul”

(P
SALM
94:19).

Abnormal, fearful obsession is more profound and problematic:

—It makes concentration more difficult.

—It causes us to be forgetful.

—It hinders our performance.

—It blocks our communication with others.

Notice that Solomon—called the wisest man on earth—said,

“Banish anxiety from your heart”

(E
CCLESIASTES
11:10).

Question:
“I have had a number of panic attacks during which I thought I was going to die. How can I overcome my irrational fear of death?”

Answer:
You can experience peace—a lasting peace—when you realize that you have absolutely no control over the moment of your death. Based on the Bible, God has already determined the exact number of your days on earth. Therefore, face the fact of your death head-on.

Say to the Lord:

—“I choose to trust You with Your perfect plan for my life, and my death.”

—“I yield my will to Your will.”

—“Thank You for giving me Your perfect peace.”

“All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be”

(P
SALM
139:16).

Question:
“How can I overcome my overwhelming fear that my children might die?”

Answer:
Unquestionably, your children
will
die. The question that no one can answer with certainty is
when
. That is, no one but God. Realize that God knew and ordained the length of each of your children’s lives before they were conceived. Your fear can’t change that fact. Instead of having fear, which is not beneficial, you can benefit your children in the following ways:

—Pray that you will be a Christlike example for your children

—Pray that you will draw your children to the Lord by the life you live

—Pray a prayer of trust:

Lord,

Thank You for loving my children.

And thank You that I can trust You
to do what is best for them.

Since the length of their lives
is already in Your sovereign hands,
I choose to be controlled by fear no longer.
I choose instead to trust You
and thank You for every day
they are here on earth.
And I commit myself to helping them
grow in Christlike character.

In Your holy name I pray. Amen.

“Man’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed”

(J
OB
14:5).

What causes Gideon—the man God destines to be one of the greatest leaders in history—to fear the army God promises to defeat? First, Gideon lacks military experience; and second, Gideon has lived under the oppression of the savage Midianites for seven years. These facts alone are enough to cause Gideon to doubt God’s promise of victory.

God’s next charge, however, would leave anyone completely paralyzed with fear. Gideon is to go against an army “thick as locusts”
²³
numbering 135,000.
²⁴
And he is to do this not with a larger army, or even one of the same size. Nor is he to do it with his small army of 32,000—just one-fourth the size of the Midianite army. Rather he is to fight with the help of a drastically reduced and
much
smaller army! Why? So…

“Israel may not boast against me that her own strength has saved her”

(J
UDGES
7:2).

God gives Gideon an unimaginable directive: Those who are fearful about fighting the Midianites can return home. Instantly, 22,000 men are eliminated! While these men had enough faith to fight, they did not have enough faith to fight
fearlessly
—something God required of Israel when going into battle. The fundamental principle?
Fear contaminates faith.
²⁵

Now only 10,000 men remain in Gideon’s ranks. Then God makes a seemingly more absurd statement: “That’s still too many men!”

Situations that evoke no fear in some people are the same situations that evoke great fear in others. What makes the difference? Perception! A person’s perception of a situation and of God determines whether or not fear or faith will rule. Notice that Gideon is
not
one of the fearful men who returns home! His perception of his situation has begun to change.

Likewise, your perception of a situation affects both the degree of your fear (how much fear you will feel), and the way you will
respond
to your fear (what you will do because of the fear).

Fear is a natural human reaction to a perceived threat—either physically or emotionally—in one or more of these three areas: love, significance, and security.

Examples of situations that might threaten your need to feel loved include:

•
Primary relationship: “If I lose my marriage partner, I don’t know what I will do or how I can go on living.”

•
Talents and abilities: “If I don’t do well enough, I’ll lose my friends. Then I’ll be all alone.”

•
Physical attractiveness: “If I start looking older and put on more weight, I will lose the affection I need so badly.”

•
Position in a relationship: “If you spend time with other people, then you don’t really love me.”

Solution:
Learn that you are loved by the Lord beyond measure.

“As high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him”

(P
SALM
103:11).

Examples of situations that might threaten your sense of significance include:

•
Identity: “If I lose my position at work, I will lose all that I have worked to achieve. Then what reason will I have to live?”

•
Self-esteem: “If I embarrass myself in front of people, I will never be able to face them again. I’ll be too ashamed.”

•
Reputation: “If others find out about my compulsive habit, I’ll lose face with them.”

•
Self-fulfillment: “If I don’t achieve my goals, my life will be a failure.”

Solution:
Learn that you are so significant that the Lord chose to save you and has future plans for you.