How to Handle Your Emotions (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (41 page)

and I deeply regret them.

Jesus, thank You for dying on the cross

to pay the penalty for my sins.

Come into my life to be my Lord and Savior.

Make me the person You created me to be.

In Your holy name I pray. Amen.

If you sincerely prayed the prayer of salvation, then the following truth applies to you! Listen to what God says!

“Since we have been justified [declared righteous] through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ”

(R
OMANS
5:1).

Having “peace with God” means that you have been brought into a life-changing relationship with Him. You no longer need to grieve over your guilt…because you are now forgiven!

Wrong Beliefs

R
EPRESSED
G
RIEF

“I should be able to handle the losses in my life without having to experience and work through deep pain and grief.”

C
HRONIC
G
RIEF

“My grief is more than I can bear. If I give in to it, I’m afraid it will consume me.”

Right Belief

“Grief is a normal process that I must experience in order to grow emotionally and spiritually and to resolve my losses in life. My hope is in God, my Savior, who provides the strength for me to grieve deeply and honestly.”

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart”

(P
SALM
73:26).

Everyone has experienced the grief caused by betrayal. Nothing wounds the heart more deeply than the betrayal of a trusted friend. Jesus understood the grief of betrayal not by just one of his closest friends, but by two: Judas and Peter. These two disciples provide a vivid contrast between
godly sorrow
and
worldly sorrow.

Both Judas and Peter grieved over the sickening reality of having betrayed Jesus. But Judas’s betrayal resulted in further wrong choices. Overwhelmed with grief, Judas rushed headlong into worldly sorrow and ultimately committed suicide.

On the other hand, Peter’s betrayal resulted in a godly sorrow. Rather than hardening his heart, Peter’s sorrow led him to sincere repentance. This God-honoring repentance, in turn, led to Peter’s complete reconciliation with Christ and to a humble yet powerful life that would forever impact the world.

Judas and Peter each had a choice. One chose death, the other chose life. As you face your season of grief, what will your choice be?

“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death”

(2 C
ORINTHIANS
7:10).

“Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed”

(P
SALM
57:1).

Jeremiah, known as the weeping prophet, authored the book of Lamentations, in which he lamented (cried aloud) over the enemy’s destruction of Jerusalem and the temple. Jeremiah’s lament, however, is followed by
his hope, which can be your hope when you feel like you are drowning in a sea of grief.

When Drowning in Grief
Lamentations 3:19-26

Working through your grief will involve both your mind and your emotions.
¹⁵
Even though intellectually you know that a loss has occurred, it’s still possible for you to emotionally refuse to accept how your life will be different because of that loss. The work of
accepting the reality
of your unwanted loss may consume all of your energy, but your efforts will succeed when you have the right focus. Rather than trying to feel what others want you to feel, focus on the Lord God. Pray, “Whatever You want me to feel and whatever You want me to do is my desire. My commitment is to be the person You want me to be through this season of sorrow.”

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men”

(C
OLOSSIANS
3:23).

Accept Your Past

Accept that the past will always be in the past.

—Pray
for God’s help in embracing your grief.

“The righteous cry out, and the L
ORD
hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.
The L
ORD
is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”

(P
SALM
34:17-18).

—Recall
your loss, then write and finish these sentences:

1. “I remember these significant events and memories (
list both good and bad
).”

2. “I look at these photographs and recall (
list memories, good and bad
).”

3. “I am grieving over (
list all
).”

“Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place”

(P
SALM
51:6).

—Allow
yourself to shed tears.

“Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”

(P
SALM
30:5).

—Complete
the process by reviewing each event on your list and writing the word
past
next to it. This confirms you will be content to leave the past in the past.

“Godliness with contentment is great gain”

(1 T
IMOTHY
6:6).

—Memorize
these verses:

“My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word”

(P
SALM
119:28).

“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life”

(P
SALM
119:50).

“I have suffered much; preserve my life, O L
ORD
, according to your word”

(P
SALM
119:107).

“Your compassion is great, O Lord; preserve my life according to your laws”

(P
SALM
119:156).

—Give thanks
for all that God has taught you from the past and how He will use your past—and your time of grieving—in the future.

“Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”

(1 T
HESSALONIANS
5:18).

Accept Your Present

The present offers stability and significance.

—Choose
to live one day at a time.

“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”

(M
ATTHEW
6:34).

—Put
the Lord at the center of your life.

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me”

(M
ATTHEW
16:24).

—Go
to God with your specific questions and concerns (make a list).

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him”

(J
AMES
1:5).

—Thank
God for providing everything you need for life.

“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness”

(2 P
ETER
1:3).

—Praise
God that no matter how your situation changes, He will never leave you.

“God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’”

(H
EBREWS
13:5).

—Focus
on the joy and satisfaction of helping others (make a list).

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ”

(G
ALATIANS
6:2).

Accept Your Future

The future affords new opportunities.

—Hope
in the plans that God has for your future.

“‘I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the L
ORD
, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’”

(J
EREMIAH
29:11).

—Know
that your sorrow and grief will not be wasted.

“It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees”

(P
SALM
119:71).

—Put
all of your hope in God.

“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him”

(P
SALM
62:5).

—Have
faith in God, though you cannot see Him.