How to Handle Your Emotions (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (67 page)

Self-worth—Answers in God’s Word

Question:
“How can I know that I have value?”

Answer:
“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” (Matthew 6:26).

Question:
“Do I have to change before God will love me?”

Answer:
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

Question:
“Why do other people’s accomplishments seem to be so much better when compared to mine?”

Answer:
“We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise” (2 Corinthians 10:12).

Question:
“How could God forgive me for the stupid things I’ve done?”

Answer:
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Question:
“How can I overcome the feeling that I was not created to do anything good?”

Answer:
“We are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10).

Question:
“What should I remember when I feel like no one loves me?”

Answer:
“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him” (1 John 3:1).

Question:
“Could I do something so bad that God would stop loving me?”

Answer:
“The L
ORD
appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness’” (Jeremiah 31:3).

Question:
“How do I overcome my feelings of incompetence?”

Answer:
“Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God” (2 Corinthians 3:5).

Question:
“If I am in Christ, why do I feel condemned?”

Answer:
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).

Question:
“Is there a Scripture truth to claim when I feel like my whole life was a mistake and I should never have been born?”

Answer:
“My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:15-16).

Anger: Facing the Fire Within

1
. Ray Burwick,
The Menace Within: Hurt or Anger?
(Birmingham, AL: Ray Burwick, 1985), 18; Gary D. Chapman,
The Other Side of Love: Handling Anger in a Godly Way
(Chicago: Moody, 1999), 17-18.

2
. W.E. Vine, Merrill F. Unger, and William White,
Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words,
electronic ed. (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1996).

3
. Vine, Unger, and White,
Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words.

4
. David R. Mace,
Love & Anger in Marriage
(Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1982), 42-45.

5
. Adapted from Joseph P. Fried, “Following Up,”
The New York Times,
June 9, 2002,
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9400E3DAl33DF93AA35755C0A9649C8B63
; Jaxon Van Derbeken, “Fear of vigilantism blamed for convict’s gun; Lawyer defends man who set son on fire in 1983,”
San Francisco Chronicle,
January 28, 2005,
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2005/01/28/BAG08B1T7J1.DTL
; “Around the Nation; Father Who Burned Son Gets 13 Years in Prison,”
The New York Times,
July 30, 1983,
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9405E5D61039F933A05754C0A965948260&scp=15&sq=Charles+Rothenberg
.

6
. Gary Jackson Oliver and H. Norman Wright,
When Anger Hits Home
(Chicago: Moody, 1992), 84.

7
. Chapman,
The Other Side of Love,
19-22.

8
. James Mahoney,
Dealing with Anger
(Dallas: Rapha, n.d.), audiocassette; H. Norman Wright,
Anger
(Waco, TX: Word, 1980), audiocassette.

9
. Adapted from Mike Barber, “Crotchety Harry Truman remains an icon of the eruption,”
Seattle Post-Intelligencer Reporter,
May 11, 2000,
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/mountsthelens/haryll.shtml
; Donna duBeth, “Give ’em hell, Harry,”
The Daily News,
March 26, 1980,
http://www.tdn.com/helens/flash/mainpage.php?p=1113365891&w=D
.

10
. Christine Ammer,
The American Heritage Book of Idioms
(New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1997), 316.

11
. Donna duBeth, “Give ’em hell, Harry,”
The Daily News,
March 26, 1980,
http://www.tdn.com/helens/flash/mainpage.php?p=1113365891&w=D
.

12
. For information on the Mt. St. Helen’s eruption see, “Mt. St. Helen’s Eruption, 1980,”
http://www.geology.sdsu.edu/how_volcanoes_work/Sthelens.html
.

13
. For this section see Les Carter,
Getting the Best of Your Anger
(Dallas: Rapha, n.d.), audiocassette; Wright,
Anger.

14
. For this section see Burwick,
The Menace Within,
33-50.

15
. Wright,
Anger.

16
. For this section see Wright,
Anger.

17
. For the three God-given inner needs, see Lawrence J. Crabb, Jr.,
Understanding People: Deep Longings for Relationship
(Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1987), 15-16; Robert S. McGee,
The Search for Significance
, 2d ed. (Houston, TX: Rapha, 1990), 27-30.

18
. For this section see Oliver and Wright,
When Anger Hits Home,
97.

19
. For this section see: Wright,
Anger.

20
. McGee,
The Search for Significance,
27; Crabb,
Understanding People,
15-16.

21
. For this section see: Wright,
Anger.

22
. McGee,
The Search for Significance,
27; Crabb,
Understanding People,
15-16.

23
. For this section see: Wright,
Anger.

24
. Chapman,
The Other Side of Love,
21; Russell Kelfer,
Tough Choices: Secrets to Bringing Self Under Control from the Book of Proverbs
(San Antonio, TX: Into His Likeness, 1991), 59-73.

25
. See also Ronald T. Potter-Efron,
Angry All the Time: An Emergency Guide to Anger Control,
2d ed. (Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2005).

26
. For this section see David Powlison, “Anger Part 2: Three Lies About Anger and the Transforming Truth,”
The Journal of Biblical Counseling
14, no. 2 (Winter 1996): 18-21.

27
. For this section see Kelfer,
Tough Choices,
65-73; Oliver and Wright,
When Anger Hits Home,
97

28
. For this section see S. Anthony Baron,
Violence in the Workplace: A Prevention and Management Guide for Business,
2d ed. (n.p.: Pathfinder, 2001).

29
. Oliver and Wright,
When Anger Hits Home,
75-87.

Depression: Walking from Darkness into the Dawn

1
. Merriam-Webster,
Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary
(Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster, 2005),
Merriam-webster.com
, s.v. “Depression.”

2
.
Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary,
s.v. “Depression.”

3
. James Strong,
Strong’s Greek Lexicon,
electronic ed. Online Bible Millennium Ed. V. 1.13 (Timnathserah Inc., July 6, 2002), s.v. “Bareo.”

4
. American Psychiatric Association,
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders,
4th ed. (Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association, 2000), 345.

5
. For this section, see H. Norman Wright,
Beating the Blues: Overcoming Depression and Stress
(Ventura, CA: Regal, 1988), 9.

6
.
Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary,
s.v. “Melancholia.”

7
.
Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary,
s.v. “Psychology.”

8
. See Stephen A. Grunlan and Daniel H. Lambrides,
Healing Relationships: A Christian’s Manual for Lay Counseling
(Camp Hill, PA: Christian Publications, 1984), 121.

9
. See
DSM-IV TR,
679-83.

10
. See
DSM-IV TR,
679-83.

11
. See
DSM-IV TR,
349-56.

12
. See
DSM-IV TR,
374-75.

13
. See
DSM-IV TR,
345.

14
. For this section, see
DSM-IV TR,
345-82.

15
. For this section, see
DSM-IV TR,
382-401.

16
. For this section, see
DSM-IV TR,
403-05.

17
.
Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary,
s.v. “Etiology.”

18
.
DSM-IV TR,
401-05.

19
. University of Alberta, “Depression Often Untreated In Parkinson’s Disease Patients,”
ScienceDaily,
July 12, 2007,
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/07/070709181334.htm
.

20
. For this section, see
DSM-IV TR,
405-09.

21
. For information on Vincent van Gogh see Cliff Edwards,
Van Gogh and God: A Creative Spiritual Quest (Chicago:
Loyola University Press, 1989), 1, 7, 12, 15, 35-36.

22
. Edwards,
Van Gogh and God,
15.