How to Handle Your Emotions (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (63 page)

(R
OMANS
15:7).

3.
I accept
what I cannot change about myself.

“Who are you, O man, to talk back to God? ‘Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, “Why did you make me like this?”’ Does not the potter have the
right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?”

(R
OMANS
9:20-21).

4.
I accept
the fact that I will make mistakes.

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus”

(P
HILIPPIANS
3:12-14).

5.
I accept
criticism and the responsibility for failure.

“I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the L
ORD
’—and you forgave the guilt of my sin”

(P
SALM
32:5).

6.
I accept
the fact that I will not be liked or loved by everyone.

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first…If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also”

(J
OHN
15:18,20).

7.
I accept
the unchangeable circumstances in my life.

“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances”

(P
HILIPPIANS
4:11).

Dorie understands the waves of guilt with which countless victims struggle. Victims of childhood sexual abuse typically struggle with guilt even though they are not guilty of the abuse. A reason for the ongoing after-the-fact guilt is that they think or wonder whether they could have taken actions to lessen or stop the abuse. And because everyone experiences guilt from periodic instances of sin (not doing what is right in God’s sight, whether in attitude or action), false guilt can get tangled together with true guilt.

Being pounded by prolonged guilt can strike a most damaging blow to your sense of worth, leaving you feeling dejected, discouraged, and demoralized. The problem with guilt is that it wears two faces: one is true, the other is false.

—
False guilt
is the enemy’s way to shame you, condemn you, and produce disabling discouragement in you.

—
True guilt
is God’s loving way to convict you, correct you, and conform you to the character of Christ.

Godly sorrow
over true guilt moves you to repentance, forgiveness, and freedom.
Worldly sorrow
—produced by false guilt—moves you to depression, despair, and death. In order to know how to get rid of your guilt, you must first identify whether it is true or false guilt. Then you can respond accordingly.

“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death”

(2 C
ORINTHIANS
7:10).

—
False guilt
arises when you blame yourself even though you’ve committed no wrong, or when you continue to blame yourself long after you’ve confessed the wrong and turned from it.

—False guilt
is not resolved by confession because it is not based on sin but on false accusations aimed at making you feel unforgiven and unaccepted by God.

“The accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down”

(R
EVELATION
12:10).

—False guilt
can be resolved by conferring with wise, objective persons— mature Christians—who can help you determine whether the guilt you are feeling is false. If it is false guilt, remind yourself and your adversary, Satan, that (1) you are not guilty, or (2) you were guilty but have been forgiven by God. The Bible gives this assurance:

“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”

(R
OMANS
8:1).

—True guilt
refers to the fact you are at fault.

—True guilt
requires payment of a penalty so that fellowship with God and others can be restored.

—True guilt
can be forgiven by God as you admit you have sinned and turn free your sin to Him.

Take a moment to pray:

Heavenly Father,

I confess my sin of (_______ ) to You, and I am willing to turn from it. Thank You for Your forgiveness.

I will rely on the power of Christ within me to overcome my times of temptation.

Thank You for Your grace and mercy toward me. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

When you deal with your guilt God’s way, you have assurance that the following promise is true for you:

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us”

(P
SALM
103:12).

The Key to a Changed Life

Dorie wrote, “Let me encourage you to begin with God. Christ is the Wonderful Counselor, who can be trusted.”
³³
Money, education, possessions, and beauty are all things our society uses to gauge a person’s worth. But we make a major mistake when we try to live by this value system. Why? Because it’s hopelessly flawed. The world’s value system is faulty because it’s not the one God designed for us. It’s not the one He intended humans to live by when He created us
in His very own image.
If you try to make it according to the world’s system, you will never measure up, and you will never have total security. However, you can find complete security by learning to adopt God’s value system.

If you trust God, He will begin to transform you from the inside out. Through His power, He will make you more like Him and make you the person you were always intended to be—
His precious child of infinite worth.

The Path to a Changed Life

Are you ready to believe what God says about you? Are you willing to let Him change your heart and your life? The transformation begins by having a relationship with Jesus. God has provided you with four truths from His Word that will help you understand how to meet, trust, and intimately know Jesus.

1. G
OD’S
P
URPOSE FOR
Y
OU
…I
S
S
ALVATION

—What was God’s motive in sending Christ to earth? To express His love for you by making salvation available to you!

“God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him”

(J
OHN
3:16-17).

—What was Jesus’ purpose in coming to earth? To forgive your sins, empower you to have victory over sin, and enable you to live a fulfilled life!

“I [Jesus] have come that they may have life and have it to the full”

(J
OHN
10:10).

2. Y
OUR
P
ROBLEM
…I
S
S
IN

—What exactly is sin? Sin is living
independently
of God’s standard— knowing what is right, but choosing wrong.

“Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins”

(J
AMES
4:17).

—What is the major consequence of sin? Spiritual death, spiritual separation from God.

“The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord”

(R
OMANS
6:23).

3. G
OD’S
P
ROVISION FOR
Y
OU
…I
S THE
S
AVIOR

—Can anything remove the penalty for sin? Yes. Jesus died on the cross to personally pay the penalty for your sins.

“God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us”

(R
OMANS
5:8).

—What is the solution to being separated from God? Belief in Jesus Christ as the only way to God the Father.

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me’”

(J
OHN
14:6).

4. Y
OUR
P
ART
…I
S
S
URRENDER

—Place your faith in (rely on) Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior and reject your good works as a means of gaining God’s approval.

“It is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast”

(E
PHESIANS
2:8-9).

—Give Christ control of your life, entrusting yourself to Him.

“Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?’”

(M
ATTHEW
16:24-26).

The moment you choose to believe in God—entrusting your life to Christ—He gives you His Holy Spirit to live inside you. Then the Holy Spirit enables you to live the fulfilled life God has planned for you. If you want to be fully forgiven by God and become the person He created you to be, you can tell this to Him in a simple, heartfelt prayer like this: