How to Make Her LET GO & GIVE IN: The No-Bullshit Guide to Great Sex (11 page)

Don't let this discourage you; just enjoy the ride. Make the effort, and that's the first step – the best step. Some guys never even bother to make the attempt and want that beautiful, sexy and exciting female to literally fall into their lap.

The moment you start to put yourself in her shoes and picture her thoughts and needs, you'll find these 'steps' and signs come naturally. It might be for that wild night of one-time fun or for a lasting experience of romance; just sway in with the mind-set that you're already a success as a male and a lover. If you can let that attitude come across to her from the start, the race is more than half-won.

STEP 3
CREATING EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL INTIMACY

Aim

Making that physical transition through a kiss, followed by the right physical and emotional stimulation that leads into sex.

How

1. Creating Emotional Intimacy

Through a kiss, she gets to feel deeply connected. This gives her a sense of trust and the desire to connect physically further and further.

2. Creating Physical Intimacy

We will consider diverse examples of how emotional intimacy can lead straight to mind-blowing sex, using different approaches. We will also take a look at an example in which the lack of emotional intimacy lowers her sexual tension.

3.1
Creating Emotional Intimacy

The kiss is in most experiences the gateway to the physical stage. Its power lies mostly in the build-up. In this phase you need to create a lot of sexual tension and when she feels the kiss is in the air, she gets drawn to you. She’s waiting and expecting it. For her this kiss has an important meaning. So just take a moment, and give her roller coaster ride some twist and turns to make it really exciting.

Overview

1. The Meaning of a Kiss

For her this moment is an act of intimacy and not physical arousal.

2. Did You Establish Emotional Intimacy?

Is she drawn in to the point where she is ready to be kissed and reach the point of physical desire?

The Meaning of a Kiss

Kissing holds an important meaning for her. Even when she has a casual motive to engage in sex, she needs this moment. In most experiences, the kiss is the moment where the encounter transforms into a physical experience. But for her, a kiss has a different meaning than it does for you.

For you, this is mostly a moment of physical intimacy in which lust takes the upper hand. In her case, kissing is the first moment of emotional intimacy. For her, this is an opportunity to connect deeply with her lover. Of course this emotional intimacy can go hand in hand with strong lustful desires from her side. Just never forget that this moment is a way to make her feel connected on a deeper level in the first place.

As said before, there are hormones that make her feel good when she’s being touched and when kissing this is not different. The good thing about kissing is that it makes her release a lot of those feel-good hormones. This will create a big shift in her state of mind. During and after the kiss her rational mind loses the upper hand, and from this moment on she will be emotionally receptive towards further physical escalation.

Because kissing is important for her, she expects a lot from these moments. She will not only screen you before, but also during the kiss. She does this to see if you are a fit mate to have sex with. Things like having bad breath, lathering saliva all over her face and kissing her
too
early, are all possible mistakes.

These things won’t make her release feel-good chemicals in her brain. They will, however, lower her sexual tension a lot or might even make her end the experience completely. Opposing this, when you are an excellent kisser who understands her and are able to create that magical connection, she will crave increasing intimacy with you. In this case, emotional intimacy can lead to physical intimacy, very quickly.

Mirroring

If you feel hesitant about your kissing skills, use mirroring. This is what happens when you kiss her like she kisses you.

Whether she is kissing you soft and slowly, hard and fast or biting your lip, let her take the lead for a while. She will kiss you in the way she wants to be kissed. This is also an easy trick to find out what kind of kisses she’s after.

Don’t worry, she will not think any less of you for it. She may not even realize that you are following her example. Instead, she feels more connected because she is getting kissed in the way she likes. Due to the similarities she will feel more in sync and will experience a deeper emotional oneness.

The best way to use this, is to kiss her in the same way for about a minute to keep the emotional connection going. This gives you time to observe how she likes to be kissed: feel how much pressure she’s putting on your lips, figure out whether she likes to take it slow or fast, how she positions her face and lips, whether her breathing pattern is heavy and deep or fast and shallow. After this, you can take over and start leading her again.

The same advice applies on what to do with your hands and arms. If you don’t know what to do with them, just do what she does. If she is touching your ass, you touch hers. If she is caressing your back softly, repeat her gesture. Does she pull you in really strongly? If so, grab her tight. After a while, it’s your job to start leading again.

Did You Establish Emotional Intimacy?

Timing is very important when going in for a kiss. The act of kissing is very intimate and physical, so you must ensure she’s ready for it. The next signs are all indications that give you clues to decide whether to progress, or not.

Five Signs to Go in for the Kiss

Is all of her attention shifted to you?

When you notice she’s not occupied with other people around, her phone or the TV whilst talking to you and instead only has eyes for you, it means she is emotionally drawn in. She will look your way with an intensity that makes everything around you disappear. Look at her pupils and you will notice that they are completely dilated.

Does she ask you very personal things?

It’s quite possible that she has already shared a lot about herself before. Most women love to share their emotional life, so this is not a sign of progress. But when she begins to ask about
your
emotional life, it means she is drawn into you. While flirting, there still remains an emotional barrier between you and her, and guess what? Now she actually longs to break it and connect not only on an emotional, but also on a physical level through kissing.

Does she reciprocate intimate touch?

At the initial phase of this step, your touch is meant to create an emotional connection and to make her feel at ease with your touch. By the end of this phase, you can touch her in more intimate ways that are not appropriate in public. Either way, make sure she is returning the favor.

Let’s say while holding hands, you move both your hand and hers and place them on your leg. Then you slip away your hand, so only her hand is left lying on the upper part of your leg. If she keeps it there, you’re in. If she withdraws, it can mean she is not into you. However, it’s still possible that she likes you but just isn’t ready to go further yet. It could also be that she’s simply the shy type and actually hopes you will lead her in a more take-charge, dominant way.

Is she touching herself?

In that case, you'll know she's totally into you! When she’s touching her hair, neck or arms a lot, it displays her unconscious desire to be touched by you.

Does she want to hold your hand?

When you hold her hand and then let go, place yours in a position where she can reach your hand easily. It’s possible that she held your hand not because there is a spark, but because she’s reluctant to say no. When placing your hand close enough to hers and when she doesn’t draw back but lets it stay nearby, she is hoping you will take her hand again. If she retracts, there could very well be no spark.

3.2
Creating Physical Intimacy

When you see some of the above examples and conclude that she’s into you, go in for a kiss. There are different ways to get this process going. You can start slow, then increase the speed, gently making her more and more aroused, eventually slamming her against the wall while pushing your dick deep inside her, leaving the initiative to her to make her chase you, etc.

Whichever approach you decide to take, there is always one rule: she needs to feel some level of emotional intimacy before you can create physical intimacy.

Overview

1. Physical Intimacy

This first part must be seen as an aid toward other information in this step. When touching her in the right ways, it will make the emotional connection grow and guarantees a smooth transition into the next step of sexual activity.

2. Slow and Steady

This is an example where things go wrong because the guy does not create any emotional intimacy because he only focuses on physical gratification.

3. Going Back and Forth

When you were flirting through challenges and validation, she began to have urges to feel loved, connected and appreciated. Now is the time to use a similar method of going back and forth. This means that you first need to advance the physical escalation and then take it back to a lower level.

4. Overpowering Desires

When kissing her fiercely while slamming her against the wall, she gets far more intense and lustful cravings, such as the feeling of being overpowered, desired and sexy. When in this situation, use a fast and steamy approach.

5. The Lazy Man

If she's feeling lonely, you can use the approach of the lazy man. Her being lonely or detached means she is lacking the emotional connection she craves from her lover. This means that she will chase you because she hopes to be rewarded with your undivided, lustful attention.

Physical Intimacy

To give you some inspiration and guidance to find your girl's favourite spots, I’ve made a map of a woman’s body that covers everything with the exception of her genial area. This map is based on a combination of 2 factors: the level of
intimacy
and the level of
sensitivity
.

1. In this step there is a variation between areas of her body that are very intimate, such as her breasts, and less intimate, such as her hands. The more intimate, the more arousing it will feel for her.
   
2. The level of sensitivity is based upon the quantity of nerve receptors in her skin. Areas with a high density are more sensitive to touch than others. The more nerve receptors present, the more aroused she becomes.
   

Based on these factors, we can place the kinds of stimulation under two groups. The first one is all about gently bringing her into a relaxed and aroused state of mind. The second handles ways to stimulate her in ways that create great amounts of sexual tension.

Of course every woman is different, so this map is only an indication of where her favourite spots may be. What feels arousing for one may feel ticklish or unpleasant for another.

Before going over to the map, you should also understand something about timing. Apart from touching her in the right places, you must also touch those places at the right time. As I mentioned earlier, there is no need for heavy physical stimulation before kissing. You could have touched her breasts, for example, which she wouldn’t have liked
.
But when you touch her after the kiss in exactly the same way, she would feel stimulated.

Map

Relaxing and Arousing Stimulation

- Backside

Back:
Her entire back is nice for massage, but some spots are very sensitive. Her spine and sides are perfect areas.

Neck:
The centre is surrounded by muscular tissue, so don’t be afraid to give this area a fairly powerful kneading because it will feel really good. This spot is also very sensitive to gentle stimulation. A gentle brush, breath or caress on her little hairs, can induce shivering goose-bumps.