How to Make Her LET GO & GIVE IN: The No-Bullshit Guide to Great Sex (12 page)

Shoulders:
If you follow her spine downwards, you will find a spot located between the shoulders which has a slightly larger lump then the other vertebrae. This is a very sensitive point that you shouldn’t miss when giving her shoulders a massage. This point is more sensitive to stronger stimulation.

Sacrum:
This is a triangular shaped bone that starts at the top of her butt cheeks. On this spot, there is a large nerve directly connected with her genital area. For this reason, touching her there is not only relaxing, but also arousing. This spot needs a fair amount of pressure.

- Legs

Knee folds:
When gently touching the back of her knees inside the soft crease, she will find it relaxing and arousing. When stroking inside the crease in combination with the inside of the ligaments, the sensation will become more intense.

Ankles:
Kneading the spots on the two prominent bones of the ankle and surrounding areas give her a relaxing feeling. Also on the area of her Achilles heel there are spots that create a soothing moment when massaged gently.

Feet:
Ever wondered why foot rubs are so popular and great? Well, it's due to her entire sole being a hotspot for nerve endings. Especially the spot located under her big and second toe works like magic. Work also on both sides of her big toe.

- Arms

Hands:
As you can imagine, the inside of the hands and fingers have abundant nerve endings. It is our most important tool that allows us to feel the physical world around us. Therefore, stimulation of her hands is important. The tips and sides of the fingers and creases where the webs are attached to her hand and her palm, are all perfect spots to stimulate and ease her into a sexual state of mind.

Inner wrists:
The two knobbly parts that connect her hand to her wrist and the center of her lower wrist are hot-spots. Try caressing her palm really gently with your thumb.

Elbow pits:
The crease on the inside of her elbow makes a very good spot for some light stimulation to ease her into the right state of mind.

- Head

Scalp:
This is a perfect spot for some gentle stimulation from your fingers. A gentle tug of her hair stimulates the underlying nerves. When reaching down towards the middle of her neck, which is softer tissue, you will feel the base of her skull. This tissue is harder and has the shape of a U-shaped bowl and when pressed gently, it creates a soothing feeling.

Eyes:
When placing your fingers very lightly on the inside of her sockets, while her eyes are closed, and then move them outwards, it gives her a very relieving experience. Ever notice that when you get stressed out, you make a similar movement? Do this to her and you'll be taking away her stress.

Forehead:
Stimulating her around her hairline is a great way to relieve physical, but not sexual tension. If you go to the spot located above her nose on her forehead and then apply pressure, you'll hit the sweet spot. When combining this spot with the nape, she will sink into a very relaxed state.

Ears:
There is a sweet spot at the back of her ear, right behind her earlobe. On the front there is a spot located right beside the tragus. This is a little lumpy structure on the front of the ear where the ear canal ends. On her ear itself, massaging her auricle and earlobes with two fingers works wonders.

Strong and Intimate Stimulation

Lips:
Besides kissing, they can be used for a lot more. Try nipping or moving your finger on them. The spot in the crease between her lips and nose is also a sweet spot because there are two major nerves passing right under the surface of the skin.

Front of neck:
The neck is definitely an intimate spot that presses a lot of buttons in the right way. Try licking, breathing, nuzzling or brushing it lightly with a finger. This works wonders on her, especially in the center.

Gluteal crease:
The large gluteal area consists mostly of muscular tissue, and is rich in nerve endings. When going down to her gluteal crease, which is a difficult word for
butt fold
, there is a hidden erogenous zone. Pressing in these creases with your fingers until you find a bone, will give her a very pleasant sensation. Although, don’t press too hard as it will feel uncomfortable.

Breasts:
Even without touching them you can create arousal. Just let your tongue or fingers hover above her nipples and she will crave for your touch. Instead of grabbing, try stretching them by placing your hand with index and middle finger around the nipple. Then, spread your fingers to make the skin stretch a couple of seconds.

Belly:
Right under her navel, about two inches lower, lies a very arousing spot. Gently licking or caressing it can make her senses tingle. You could also use your tongue in a circular motion all around her navel.

Inner thighs:
Caress, lick or massage the area gently. When the timing is right, this spot always makes her crave for more.

Slow and Steady

Let’s have a look at the first example, which will show you how
not
to escalate to physical arousal.

#

First, he holds my hand. He places the other hand on my lower back and starts caressing me. We’re watching a movie and we're not speaking to each other. The physical affection feels nice and I slip into a comfortable state of mind.

Our eyes meet and he leans in for a kiss. The kiss is gentle and slow, sweetly arousing me until I get drawn into the moment. He slowly moves his touch from my back towards my breasts. He keeps his hands above my shirt, caressing them gently. The barrier of clothes still makes it feel so intimate and sexy.

After about five minutes of holding hands and kissing, he lets go of my hand and places it on my ass. During this period, my mind started drifting off slowly. Sarah’s birthday party popped into my head, and I started to think of what to wear.

After a while, he grabs my ass firmer and firmer. I start to feel smothered, it’s hard to catch my breath. Soon he places his hand under my shirt and starts to grope my breasts firmly. It arouses me slightly, but again the fact that he’s not giving me any space is starting to make me feel uncomfortable. It's all happening so fast – too fast.

His hand shifts down from my breasts and lands on my crotch. After about 2 minutes he tries to slip his fingers in past my panties. I’m definitely not overwhelmed, and I start thinking that I have to get up early tomorrow and that it's maybe better to get some sleep. I feel kind of bad for him, but I decide to remove his hand from my crotch and explain I am too tired for this right now.

What Happened?

His point of view

In the above example, it was all about progressing to the stage of sex. In his mind, the more physical things become, the more aroused she will be. In the beginning, she follows his lead which he interprets as being on the right track. Therefore he will definitely feel confused and annoyed when she wants to stop.

Her point of view

In reality, she is not very aroused. The little arousal she felt in the beginning changes into a state of mind where she is bored, annoyed, and uncomfortable.

She felt smothered because he kept kissing and touching her without giving her any intermission. He wanted it
too much
. This comes across like he’s a guy that desperately needs to get laid, and nothing is a bigger turn-off for a woman than a desperate man.

Not that there aren't ways to show her you really want it. A woman naturally likes to know you desire her greatly and are aroused by her. But this is something you can do only when things get fast and steamy, which we will discuss later on. In this case, even if she did decide to continue, all she could gain out of it is simply just getting off. You would have been nothing more than her human dildo to give herself some pleasure and entertainment.

Physical vs emotional escalation

A lot of men lack the insight to understand that this way of single-mindedly going forward does not give the results they are hoping for. This is because a man in general has a more goal-oriented mind, while a woman’s mind is more focused on sharing emotions.

He therefore acts in a way he thinks works best in achieving his goal to have sex. He uses the physical angle to intensify the moment because this is the most straightforward, and in most cases, the only way he knows to have sex. This doesn't mean he does not care about giving her a good time, but it does mean that he just doesn’t get it.

A man that gets it uses an alternation between emotional and physical escalation. As such, he does not rely solely on the physical side as he knows that when he triggers her emotions first, the physical side of things will always follow.

Her mind is not fixated on trying to escalate things physically, since her mind is not goal orientated. What will happen later on is not important for her. Instead, what really matters are the emotions that she is feeling and sharing with her lover.

The reason why she is only thinking about the moment and not the goal, can be traced down to her mechanism of emotional selection. She needs to feel the right emotions in order to select you to have sex or enjoy the sexual experience. In general, using the slow and steady approach makes it far less smooth in giving her these emotions as it lacks the needed sexual tension.

Going Back and Forth

Going back and forth means that when things get more intense and physical, you take a step back and get more physical again later. As such, this principle is similar to the flirting phase in which you challenged and then rewarded her.

This way of escalating to the physical stage is a very good method because when you take a step back, she feels she has lost part of the previous connection. This feeling of loss gives the flow of sexual tension some thrilling twists and turns.

In these moments of loss, she seeks to reconnect with you again. This makes her chase you, instead of you chasing her. Then, when you decide to take a physical step forward again, she will be very receptive as it feeds her emotional needs to experience a deeper connection. In fact, she will experience an even deeper connection than beforehand.

When being with a new girl, you will notice that she will have far less objections in continuing the experience. By taking one step back, you can move two steps forward later because she's craving for it. So she will slip into a sexual state of mind before even realizing it herself.

If you’re in a long-term relationship, she will also appreciate this way of progressing. It’s one of the factors that keep the sexual fire alive or may bring back some passion in your relationship.

Don’t be predictable and use unexpected ways in progressing to reach your goal. Choose to escalate physically not through a monotonous path, but through a path that gives her twists, turns, and exciting moments.

Example

With a teasing kiss, you will trigger her need of emotional intimacy.

#

We’re sitting on the sofa, his arm wrapped over my shoulder. We’re talking and laughing, I'm just beginning to feel relaxed around him; the atmosphere is mellow, even cozy.

I feel him place his hand behind my ear and neck and slowly massage the area with his fingertips. Hmm. Our eyes meet for a moment, this all feels so good. The way he looks at me somehow sends tingles up and down my spine.

Then his gaze begins to wander, running all over my breasts and neck, and upward to stop at my lips. He says how soft and shiny they look. I feel very attractive and drawn to him. Somehow, without even touching me yet, I'm stirred by feather-soft sensations I can't describe. As that warm gaze of his eyes lingers on my mouth, I feel my lips start to tremble, parting of their own accord.