How to Sew a Button: And Other Nifty Things Your Grandmother Knew (12 page)

• Change the batteries in your smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, too. You should do it twice a year.
  

• To dust high-up spaces, wrap an old T-shirt around the end of a broom.
  

Step 1:
If you’re feeling a little Howard Hughes-ish, just fill a spray bottle with white distilled vinegar and spritz anything germy: doorknobs, phones, cupboard handles, sinks, and toilet seats.

Step 2:
Wipe clean with a damp cloth.

Step 3:
Lick to test. Just kidding! Don’t do that!

Step 1:
Mix one part vinegar with one part water in a spray bottle.

Step 2:
Squirt on windows.

Step 3:
Wipe clean.

Step 4:
Check out your reflection. Wink at yourself. Hope no one else saw you.

Step 1:
Roll up your sleeves and, if what you see is grossing you out, put on some gloves.

Step 2:
Combine a squirt of liquid soap, ¼ cup baking soda, and a splash of vinegar to form a creamy paste.

Step 3:
Apply it to your sink basin. Scrub and rinse.

Step 1:
Open a window, and vow to never eat
that
again.

Step 2:
Add 1 tablespoon vinegar, 1 teaspoon baking soda, and 1 cup of water to a spray bottle.

Step 3:
Mist away!

Step 1:
Pour 1 cup vinegar into the bowl, and let stand for at least 5 minutes.

Step 2:
Scrub the toilet with a stiff brush.

Step 3:
Flush-a-roo.

Step 1:
Mix 2 tablespoons vinegar with 2 tablespoons vegetable oil.

Step 2:
Dab a soft rag into the solution and then rub the wood, along the grain, to make the ring disappear.

Step 3:
Get out your coasters!

Step 1:
Look around to see who has wet pants and get the poor culprit into dry clothes pronto.

Step 2:
Mix equal parts vinegar and water, spray on the wee spot, and scrub with a towel.

Step 3:
Sprinkle the tinkle with baking soda, and let dry.

Step 4:
Brush or vacuum the spot.

Step 1:
Fill a basin with soapy water and add a splash of vinegar.

Step 2:
Wrest the toys away from your baby, preferably when she’s not looking.

Step 3:
Soak, rinse, dry, and give them back, you ogre.

Step 1:
Add ¼ cup vinegar to your whites during the final rinse to help remove any soapy residue from your duds. It’ll also soften fabrics and reduce static cling.

Step 2:
Go relax. There’s nothing else for you to see here.

Step 1:
Spray vinegar directly on the collar and pits of your shirts.

Step 2:
Wash as you usually would.

Step 1:
Your clothes better not smell like an ashtray because you had a cigarette hanging out of your mouth all night. If that’s the case, vow to quit that nasty habit right now. If that’s not the case, who are you hanging out with? Hooligans, that’s who.

Step 2:
Hang your smoky clothes on your shower rod.

Step 3:
Fill your bathtub with steaming hot water, and add 1 cup vinegar.

Step 4:
Shut your bathroom door, and let the steam infiltrate (and freshen) your clothes.

Step 1:
Identify stinky places—say, your fridge, your trash cans, your gym bag, your hamper.

Step 2:
Set a breathable box of baking soda inside (it won’t spill), or if your smelly stuff is about to be washed anyway (ahem, your dirty laundry), sprinkle it directly on top.

Step 1:
Inherit some silver or go buy some at a garage sale.

Step 2:
Make a paste of three parts baking soda and one part water.

Step 3:
Rub into silver with a soft cloth.

Step 4:
Rinse with water and dry.

Step 1:
Wipe away any crumbs or spills.

Step 2:
Sprinkle some baking soda on a damp cloth and scrub.

Step 3:
Rinse with a clean damp cloth or sponge.

Step 1:
Sprinkle baking soda directly onto your shag and let sit for 15 minutes.

Step 2:
Suck it up (with a vacuum).

Step 3:
Take a whiff and be pleased.

Step 1:
Sprinkle some baking soda on the gunk.

Step 2:
Fill pan with hot water, and let soak overnight.

Step 3:
Scrape off the crust in the morning and be amazed at how easily it comes off.

Step 4:
Vow to set a timer the next time you cook so you won’t burn food onto the bottoms of your pans anymore.

Step 1:
If you can’t swing a full-on bubble bath, sprinkle some baking soda directly on your dog or cat’s fur and brush it through.

Step 2:
Sprinkle some more on her bed and, if she has one, in her litter box, too.

Step 3:
Put a bow or bandana around her neck. It won’t do anything for the smell, but she’ll look so cute and that’ll make it a little better.

Step 1:
Sprinkle baking soda directly on the spill, whether it’s in your kitchen or your garage.

Step 2:
Scrub with a wet brush or rag.

Step 1:
Try to remain calm and collected. It’s time for action. You can freak out later.

Step 2:
To put out the flames, scatter baking soda all over them. It works on any kind of fire, including electrical and grease fires.

Step 3:
Check yourself and your surroundings for damage.

Step 4:
Freak out now, if you must, but then give yourself a pat on the back for averting disaster.

Step 1:
Get a little girl-on-grill action going by sprinkling baking soda directly on your rack.

Step 2:
Then remove the rack and soak it for a couple of hours to overnight in hot, soapy water.

Step 3:
Scrub with a wire brush and return to the grill.

Step 1:
Mix ¼ cup baking soda with 1 quart warm water.

Step 2:
Using a soft rag, wipe down your chaise with the solution.

Step 3:
Go over it once more using a clean, damp rag.

Step 4:
Relax and rejoice. Summertime is here!

Dressing
You can look fantastic without running up your credit cards. Be smart about what you buy. Take care of what you own, and wear it until you wear it out
.

Step 1:
Gather your supplies. You’ll need a replacement button, a needle, about two feet of matching thread, and a pair of scissors.

Step 2:
Thread the needle, pulling one end of the thread through to meet the other. Knot the ends together by making a loop and pulling the tails through. Knot once more, and trim off any excess.

Step 3:
Locate your button’s proper spot by eyeballing where it was before it fell off. Look for either some old broken thread (and remove it) or a few tiny holes in the fabric from where the thread once was. If you can see where it should go, fasten your other buttons, pass a pin through the hole of the renegade, and mark that spot with chalk or pencil.