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standstill and stood listening; and after a 321 moment, hearing no sound of activity coming either from the yard or from the house, he hurriedly led the horse round the corner and into a stable. He unharnessed it, fed and watered it, patted it, then left it, saying, Èasy now. Easy now. Rest; you're all right.Òutside again, he quickly retraced his steps to the wooden bridge, and there, letting himself down on to the ice, he moved cautiously towards where his father lay motionless. But as he neared him in the fading light, he noticed one arm move, and then the head. And his immediate instinct was to turn and flee. But when the weak voice came to him, calling, `Sean! Sean!` he forced himself to walk forward until he was standing within a few feet of the leg that was sticking straight out.

He watched his father now try to raise his shoulders, the effort making him close his eyes and grit his teeth; then he said, `Boy, I'm ... I'm hurt. Go ... go--ànd he gasped before ending, `go ... and get ...

help.`

Sean did not move, nor did he speak, until his father, seemingly making a great effort, brought his arm above his head, the fist doubled, and he

cried, `Do you hear me, boy? I've ... I think I've broken my leg. I ... I can't move. Go and get help!`

Still Sean did not move or speak; at least, not for a moment; then he said, `You drove your horse straight at her.`

`Wh ... at?`

`You drove your horse straight at Maggie Ann. You were in the middle of the drive, she was at the edge.

You turned Rustler head on. You ... you meant to kill her. 'Twas ... 'twas on your face.`

There was no movement from the arm now and the face was still, the eyes closed, but when the voice came it wasn't in the form of a command; the tone was soft, pleading. `Sean. Sean, please go and get help. I ... I didn't kill Maggie Ann; she's alive.`

`She is dying and can hardly move.`

`Sean, please do as I ask. Go and get help or else I'll die here. Don't you realise that?` The eyes were open now, staring at him. Ànd you will have killed me. Do ... do you realise that? If you don't go and get me help quickly, I shall freeze and ... and you will be

to blame.Àgain he was gasping. Then 323 he said, `Do you understand what I'm saying?`

`Yes, Dada; I understand what you're saying; you'll die if you don't get help.Ànd on this he slowly turned away, his father's voice following him, angrily yelling, although not with its full force.

When Sean reached the bridge and looked back along the frozen stream he could just make out his father's arm waving frantically in the air.

It was as he crossed the bridge and made his way towards the front of the house that the first flakes of snow began to fall, and on the sight of them there arose in him a sickness that caused him to run towards the back of the house and make for the outdoor closet, only to be stopped half-way across the yard by Moira, a shawl over her head, crying at him, `Where d'you think you've been? The others have been looking for you. Come in, boy.`

He did not go to her but he stopped dead, bent over, and vomited.

They were all in Maggie Ann's room, and amid the talk and the chatter of the children, Moira stooped over Maggie Ann and asked her: Ìt's too much for you?`

`Did I ever have too much of the children? No, me dear. And I meself feel as light as a feather tonight; at least, I would do if it wasn't for this fella's face.` She thumbed slowly towards Sean, who was sitting by the head of the bed. `Did you ever see him look so peaky? And with a face on him as long as a broken fiddle. Sick, you said, he's been. Well, it's the way he eats. I've told him he doesn't take enough time over his food, and he doesn't think about what he's eatin'.`

`Well, there's one thing I do know,` Moira said, `you're chatterin' too much and you'll pay for it with a wakeful night.`

Ì'll do nothing of the sort`--the words now came out between gasps--Ì'm ... I'm goin' to keep awake until New Year's mornin'.`

Margaret put in, `But, Maggie Ann, it's New Year's Eve tomorrow; you couldn't keep awake all that time.`

Ì'll do me best, dear. I'll do me best. And I tell you what you can do for me. Sing me a song together with your mama. We 325 haven't had a sing-song for many a long night.`

Moira was about to exclaim and not quietly, Oh, no! No! No sing-song tonight. With one thing and another she'd had a heavy day, and here it was seven o'clock at night and Hector hadn't shown his face.

He'd had money on him when he went out, but she'd like to bet he wouldn't have any when he came home. She shook her head. Did that man think of anybody but himself? Not one present had he bought for the children at Christmas, not even an orange. Perhaps he really did think, as he'd said to her the last time they'd had words, `They're your family, every damn one of 'em, and you've taken the one that was mine.Ànd she recalled she had answered him by saying, Ì couldn't take what you never had.`

But where had he got to tonight, with no sign of him and it snowing hard? Of course, there was always the probability that he had picked up with another woman. But no, that would mean more money than he had to spare: what money he had these days went on drink, and his pleasures he took free as his right as a husband.

She gave a little shudder, then turned her

attention to Daniel who, she was glad to see, looked a little less strained than he had done lately. He was addressing her, saying quietly, `Maggie Ann wants a song. What's it going to be, Margaret?` He had turned to the six-year-old girl, who had the features of her mother and who would likely grow to resemble her altogether, for she had a pleasant nature, and Margaret said, `The Dear Little Shamrock.`

`The Dear Little Shamrock it is,` put in Maggie Ann from the bed, her head nodding slightly.

And so Moira, seated in the midst of her children, her arm round her daughter's waist, sang: There's a dear little plant that grows in our isle, 'Twas Saint Patrick himself sure that set it. And the sun on his labour with pleasure did

smile, And the dew from his eye often wet it. It shines thro' the bog, thro' the brake, thro'

the mireland, And he call'd it the dear little shamrock of

Ireland.

327

Then with Moira beating time, they all sang the chorus:

The dear little shamrock, The sweet little shamrock, The dear little, sweet little shamrock of Ireland.

And so it went on for another two verses and choruses.

`Sing a funny one, Ma, sing a funny one,` said Patrick.

Òh, no, not tonight, Patrick; I'm not in the mood for funny ones. Wait till New Year comes in.`

Now Maggie Ann asked quietly, `Would you sing me, Oh! Erin Dear?`

Moira hesitated, then closed her eyes for a moment. Of all the Irish songs that would promote tears, Oh!

Erin Dear was the one: it was indeed an exile's lament, and the tune was one called The Londonderry Air, one that even non-singers could manage. But Maggie Ann had asked for it and the children knew it, for it had been Maggie Ann's lullaby to get them to sleep

through their pains of toothache or tummy ache. She glanced at Daniel, and the look on his face expressed her own thoughts. But there it was; Maggie Ann had asked for it. Without more ado she started:

Òh! Erin Dear, my thoughts are with you ever; No other land can stir my heart like thee. Why did I from my friends and dear ones sever; To make my home so far across the sea? I miss my jovial sons and winsome daughters; The songs of children on the village green. I yearn to hear the sound of rushing waters; And more than all I miss my faithful sweet

Eileen.`

The children were all singing with her, but softly, and she went on, The strangers here are kind and noble hearted And sure, I blush to think of all their care; But thoughts will rise of thee, from whom I'm parted, That wake the sigh and haste the fallen tear. I dream at night of sunset on the shingle, Of jaunting cars, and nestling shamrocks green; Och! then I wake and all my senses 329

tingle With memories of my home and you, my sweet

colleen.

Maggie Ann lay quiet, the tears streaming down her face, and by gesture Daniel ushered the children from the room. And when in the hall Patrick said, `'Twas a good night, wasn't it, Daniel? Maggie Ann enjoyed it, didn't she?` he answered, `Yes, yes, it was a good night, and she enjoyed it. Now, go on, all of you, and make your way to bed. And Margaret, see that Michael's washed, will you?`

`Wash ... my ... self!Àt this response the children all laughed, for Michael was now both walking and talking, although not brilliantly in either direction.

Daniel was making his way to the study when Moira's voice, calling his name softly, checked him, and he turned towards her. Straight away she said, `Do you think anything could have happened to him?`

`No. He's been as drunk as a noodle before this and Rustler's always brought him home. That horse could find its way in the dark through any part of the grounds. I think he's gone into Fellburn and likely it's coming down heavier there than here, which it often does, and he's staying somewhere for the night. It would be the sensible thing to do.`

`Yes. Yes, I suppose so.` She nodded at him. `But ... but we'll leave the front door unbolted, just in case he lands.`

`Yes. Yes, we could do that; we're not likely to get any tramps around in this weather.`

`What are you going to do?`

`Well, there's one thing I would like to do, Moira, but I can't, because he's got all the bills and papers locked up, and that is to go through the accounts and see how we really do stand. But we'll have to have a showdown shortly, because if a third of the land's got to go, one of the men will have to go with it, and there'll have to be changes all round. So, instead, I was going into the study to read a book. It's one of those that Janie bought me for Christmas, and I know the next time we meet she'll ask how I liked it and I won't have the face to say I haven't read it yet.`

`Janie's a good girl, none better, and she's got a head on her shoulders. And yes, that is what she's likely to do the first time 331 she claps eyes on you, ask you what you think of the book.

So go on. See you bank up the fire. I'll go and see the children settled and then I'll sit with Maggie Ann. If he doesn't put in an appearance soon I'll make up the basket chair and sleep there.`

He nodded to her and turned away, and she climbed the stairs, thinking, He'll read her book, but he cannot see her; he can see nothing but that other one.

At six o'clock the next morning Daniel quietly opened Maggie Ann's door and tiptoed across to where Moira was asleep in the basket chair; and when he shook her gently and she started, he held up a warning finger, then turned from her and made to leave the room again, beckoning her to follow him.

Drawing her old dressing-gown around her and blinking the sleep from her eyes, Moira went into the passage where Daniel was turning up the wick of the oil lamp, and in a whisper, she said, `What is it?

What is it?`

`He ... he must have come in some time ago, as

Rustler's in one of the stables; not the usual one when he isn't on the farm, and he was kicking up a racket. He must have sensed I was about, although I don't know how, because the snow's a good four inches thick. Anyway, he was agitated, and when I smoothed him down and took him along to his own box I noticed that his shoulder was skinned and had been bleeding as if something had fallen on it, or he'd had a blow.`

`Hector would never hit that horse.`

`No, no, he wouldn't, I know that. If he cares about nothing else, or no-one, he cares for Rustler. I must go to the farm and get ointment; that shoulder looks sore. Anyway`--he jerked his head upwards--`he must be in bed sleeping it off. But I was up till long after eleven and he wasn't in then.`

`Four inches of snow, you say?`

`Yes, and more to come by the looks of it, and it's drifting.`

`Did you make yourself a drink?`

`No, I didn't bother. I am late as it is.`

`Don't be silly. They'll be on the job down there, even in this, because they'll be expecting you, and there isn't much that can be done. So 333 look, hang on a minute till I get into my clothes and we'll have a drink. Go and blow up the fire and put the kettle on.`

He did as she said, and by the time Moira came into the room he was mashing the tea.

Sitting down by the corner of the table, she remarked, as she always did to someone who was making the tea, `Let it draw.` Then she added, `Sit yourself down. You're on your legs enough all day.`

`What kind of a night has she had?` Daniel asked.

`Restless. That song nearly broke her up, and me too. I'll never sing it again as long as I live.Ìt was when she handed him the cup of tea that he asked, `Would you like to go back to Ireland, Moira?`

`What a question to ask me, and at this time of the morning. You might as well have asked me if I'd like to go to heaven.`

He smiled at her now, then said, `Well, if I'd asked you that you'd straight away have said yes. So am I to take it that you would like to go

back?`

She looked at him for a moment before she said, Ì still can't answer you in truth, because I would have to say yes and no. Sometimes I long for it, at others I know if I hadn't come over here because the prospects seemed good, and they had turned out that way, things might have been different. But then again, he wasn't to blame for all that, because at the time he brought me I was so desperate to escape from that so-called castle, I would have gone off with a Chinaman or anyone who would have had me.`

Òh, Moira.` He did not laugh at her remark but said, `For someone like you to be hit by circumstances that made you hold yourself so cheap was a sin before God. And it was perpetrated by your family, that's the worst part of it.`

She smiled a sad smile now, saying, `No; not only them, it was more because of the cause, because of politics, because he was a soldier, an English soldier. Oh, you've no idea of the hate that pervaded that countryside. No, nò-- she sighed now--Ì'll never go back, and I mustn't forget I was thankful to God to be brought here in the first place. And as I've said before, He's given me great compensation, not only in my

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