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She was laughing one minute and then the change came.`

Moira rose heavily from her chair, saying, Ì think you'd better fetch the priest.`

`But ... but she had the Last Rites some time ago.`

`Yes, I know, I know. But it would be a comfort to her to see him again.`

Ì'll have to use the trap and it will take all of two hours to get him here.`

`Well, will you do it?`

Òf course I'll do it.` His voice was

harsh. Ì'll be on me way now.`

`Wrap up well, and be careful driving, for the roads are slushy.`

Daniel now turned quickly away, thinking, And anyway, the only one she'll want near her at the end is Moira ... or Sean ...

Maggie Ann died at midnight. She seemed to be conscious to the end and her last glance was on Moira and she smiled at her.

10

It should happen that the weather for the past few days had been almost spring-like. The five older children, Patrick included, had been sent to school, leaving only Michael and the baby Bridget in the house with Moira when suddenly she collapsed at the foot of the stairs and she heard Michael crying,

`Mama! Mama! Get ... up! Get ... up!`

She struggled to her feet and sat on the bottom step, one arm clinging to the stout post of the banister, trying to get the words out to her small and backward son, to tell him to run to the farm and get help, when the pain seized her again.

Then, as if in answer to her plea, 365 there came a knock on the door, and she managed to gesticulate towards it. The boy, understanding, shambled to the door, and there stood on tiptoe and reached up to the sneck, then almost tumbled backwards as the door opened and Janie stepped into the hall.

In an instant she was at Moira's side, crying, Òh, dear! it's coming.Ìn answer, Moira could only groan; and Janie, pulling off her coat and hat, looked about her wildly for a moment before crouching down to the boy and saying slowly, `Michael, can you run to the farm and get Daniel?`

He stared back at her, then bounced his head; and his walk quickened to a shambling run as he made for the open door.

`Can you ... can you manage to walk into the drawing-room? You ... you can lie on the couch.Àfter a moment and with an effort, Moira got to her feet and Janie put her arm about her and helped her into the drawing-room; and she had just lifted her legs up on to the couch when she heard a commotion in the hall.

She rushed to the open door to see Alex

Towney with Michael struggling in his arms, and Alex said, Ì ... I was coming to the tack room to get some gear and there he was running towards the farm path. I thought I'd better bring him.` He stopped when he heard a deep groan, and Janie explained quickly, Ì was sending him to the farm to get Daniel; Mrs Stewart is on her time. We need the doctor.`

Òh. Oh, I see. Oh, I'll get back and tell him. Better still, I'll go for the doctor meself an' tell the boss he'll be more use here. Are you on your own, miss?`

`Yes. Yes.`

`Well, as I said, he'll be more use here. Sorry, laddie.` He lowered the struggling child on to the hall floor; then, nodding as he made to go out, he said, `He was havin' a try, anyway. He's comin' on; he must be right enough in the head.Òh. Janie's jaw tightened for a moment. These people and the things they said: He may be right enough in the head. Of course the boy was right enough in the head. `Come here, dear. Come here.` She held out her arms towards Michael, and when he had toddled towards her, she wiped his tear-stained face and said, `You're a clever boy, a very 367 clever boy.` Then she asked him, `Where is Bridget?`

`Kitchen.`

Òh, well now, will you go and stay with her? That's a good boy.`

When the child made for the kitchen she hurried back into the drawing-room.

Moira's legs were stretched out now but she was breathing in gasps and, haltingly, she said, `'Tis early, yet ... not surprised ... 'tis been troubling me for some time.`

`Mr Towney has gone for the doctor and Daniel should be here any minute now.`

`The children ... Rosie ... Rosie was to come and try and ... and give a hand but ... but her rheumatics.

Margaret's good, quite sensible. Off school ... must keep her off school.`

`Listen, Moira, dear, don't worry about the children. They'll be perfectly all right. And there's me; I've got nothing to do but sit filing my nails all day.` She smiled reassuringly down on the sweating face.

`Teaching, thought you were.`

`Not till next month.`

Òh! Oh!` Moira was now grappling with another spasm. Her knees were up, her arms were gripping her belly, and Janie's arms were about her holding her whilst she soothed her, saying, `There, there; it won't be long. The doctor will be here soon.`

When at last the spasm subsided and Moira sank back into the cushions, Janie, her own body trembling now, said, `Look, I think I'd better unloosen your skirt and underthings. Are you wearing corsets?`

`No.`

`Well, let me undo your things and take your skirt off. But wait, I'll run upstairs and get a bed cover to put over you.`

Taking the stairs two at a time she pushed open the door of the first room on the landing, to see a single bed. She whipped the quilt from it and also grabbed up a couple of pillows and a towel that was hanging from the rail on the wash-hand stand. And as she flew downstairs again she knew she had been in Daniel's room, for there on the bedside table were the books she had loaned him, and also the pipe she had purchased for Moira to give him as a Christmas present.

Having unloosened Moira's skirt 369 and the tapes of the two petticoats, she said, `Do you think you can ease your skirt off?`

Òh, Janie, I ... I should be up ... upstairs and ... and in bed.`

`Well, you're in no fit state to make the stairs now, at least without help. Look, let me ease your skirt off.

I have this cover to put over you.`

But before Janie could attempt to take Moira's skirt off, Moira's body was once again contorted; and now she was crying out aloud, Òh God! Oh God!` Then as the spasm eased she muttered, Ìt's ... it's coming. I'm sure, Janie, it's coming.`

Òh, no! No!` For a moment Janie sounded horrified and she stood with one hand gripping her throat; but then swiftly she bent down and without more ado she dragged the skirt down over Moira's legs and threw it aside. Tentatively now, she lifted the petticoats and saw what looked like a black blob emerging from between Moira's legs.

Wildly, she looked about her for a moment. Then when Moira gave another cry she thrust back the petticoats and, forcing herself to fix her gaze on the emerging head, she cried, Ìt's all right. It's all right. You'll be all right, Moira.`

Janie had never in her life seen a baby being born or even imagined the process. In fact, she had never looked upon any bare body but her own.

Òh ... oh ... oh ... Oh God!`

The groan and the heave brought the head out, then the shoulders followed. Automatically Janie's hands went down and held the child as it seemed to flow in one swift movement from Moira's body.

Janie was kneeling by the side of the couch, her elbows on the end of it, her hands holding the wet slimy child with the cord attached to it. Moira was quiet now. For a moment it seemed as if she had gone to sleep. And then she muttered, `Cut ... cut the cord.`

Òh, Moira, I ... I haven't anything, I mean, I ...`

With a great effort Moira heaved herself up and, seeing Janie holding the child in an awkward fashion as she knelt on the floor, she said briefly, `Scissors, in the work-basket.`

She pointed to the side of the fireplace. 371

Janie let the child slip from her hands on to the couch and rushed to the work basket, found the scissors, then stood hesitating with them in her hand until Moira, pointing, said between gasps, `Cut half-way.`

Janie almost had to close her eyes as she obeyed this order and when Moira said, `Knot it,` she did so with shaking fingers. Then Moira exclaimed, `Quickly now! It isn't crying. Lift it up. What is it?`

À ... a boy.`

`Then lift it up, by the legs.`

`What!`

`Janie, lift him by the legs, turn him upside down and shake him.`

Janie's own body was shaking as she followed this procedure, but when there was still no cry from the small body Moira said quietly, `Give him to me.`

Janie now laid the baby in Moira's arms and she, looking down on it, whimpered, `No, no. Ah no;

'twould have been my last. I wanted it because it would have been my last. And a boy, I wanted a boy.`

Suddenly she lay back

and the child almost rolled from her arms and would have done so if Janie hadn't caught it in hers.

And now Janie held the little limp body to her breast and looked down into its blue face. There was black hair on its head and its limbs were perfectly formed.

The tears were rolling fast from her eyes and dropped on to the small body just as Daniel rushed into the room, only to come to a halt as he took in the situation. Slowly, he walked up to Janie and, after looking down at the baby in her arms, he turned to Moira and, kneeling by her side, he took her hand in his and said, Òh, my dear, I'm sorry.` Yet even as his voice expressed compassion he knew that he was glad the child was stillborn, for surely seven was enough for any woman to see to and, because of the circumstances in this house and the future that lay before them, another infant would have been one too many.

Moira turned and looked at him, saying, Ì ... I wanted him.`

`Yes, I know, dear, I know.`

She turned her head away from him now, muttering, `Nothing but death in this house.`

She was right; there seemed nothing but death in this

house. His father, Maggie Ann, and now 373 the child. But he did not match his thoughts to his words, as he said to her, `But you have seven lovely children, Moira, and they'll all be scrambling in shortly wanting their mother. So, rest now. I'll make you a drink.`

He rose from his knees and turned to where Janie had placed the baby on a chair and was looking down on it. Going to her side, he too looked down on it, then said, `You brought it along, Janie. That was fine.`

Her voice was flat as she said, Ì didn't bring it; it just came. But why did it have to be dead?`

To this he could give her no answer, but picking up the child, he said, Ì'll lay it in the study; the afterbirth is yet to come.`

`What?` The word was sharp. Janie had turned herself towards him and again she said, `What?ànd he realised she didn't know what he was referring to, only that this messy business wasn't yet over. She was the same age as himself and had likely never before witnessed a birth of any kind, having been brought up in a very sheltered home. He doubted that she had had any dealings with children other than those in this house, for her two brothers were unmarried. But she had been obliged, during the last few minutes, to help bring a child into the world. He said, Ìt's all right, I'll ... I'll do it.`

`No, no. Whatever it is, I'll ... I'll see to it,` Janie said hastily.

When she suddenly swayed, he gripped her arm and turned her from the couch and pushed her down into a chair, saying, `Stay there.` Then he himself did what had to be done, although not without a trembling in his stomach. Although he had brought lambs into the world and had thrust his arm into a cow to bring out a live calf, and last year had witnessed with delight Daisy giving birth to a foal, this was different.

But at last it was done, and all the while Moira had lain silent. As he left the room with the dish and the towel, Janie was still sitting in the chair, but when, some minutes later, he returned from the kitchen it was to see her standing in the hall leaning against the banister post. Going quickly to her he turned her about, saying, `Come on. Come on. You did splendidly.`

Òh Daniel, I'm ... I'm

ashamed.` 375

`Don't be silly.` He had her by the shoulders now, shaking her. `That was your first experience, wasn't it?` Then he added jovially, Ì don't suppose you've seen a cut finger before today. Now if you had been brought up on a farm it would have been different. But you haven't, and I repeat, you did splendidly, as well as Pattie would have done ... or better.`

Ì'm sorry. I ... I always thought I was a strong individual and would be able to face up to any situation, and especially with someone that one likes. And I've never fainted in my life.`

`You didn't faint.`

Ì had a damned good try.`

The phrase coming from her started him chuckling and he said, `You know what you can do now? You can go into the kitchen and brew a pot of tea and fill the sugar basin. She will need sugar. And then the horde will be in shortly. And if you want to do another brave thing, you can stay with them for a while and calm them down. See they have something to eat. Eh?`

She smiled weakly at him. `Yes. I'll

do that. It will be a form of compensation.`

He lifted his hand and touched her cheek, saying softly as he did so, `You're a fine girl, Janie.`

She just managed to reach the kitchen before the tears again swam down her face and this time she turned her face to the door and, lowering her head into the crook of her arm, she sobbed as she had never done before.

It was late September of 1891 and it was clear that Daniel was fighting a losing battle to make the farm profitable. This wasn't due to a slackening of his labour, or that of the three men he still had working, but to the parched ground of two seasons. It would seem that during all the winter months it had rained or snowed and that the sun had shone solely in late spring and summer. Now, with autumn here, there hadn't been a drop of rain for five weeks. The streams were dry and the rivers were running low and the buckets lay empty at the bottom of the wells. Even the famous Granny Smith Well had but a dribble flowing into it. The water carts were visiting some districts and an order had gone out from the town that anyone found using valuable water on flower gardens and such would be liable to prosecution.

The natural outcome of this was that some farmers had given up the struggle. Because the sparse grass on the hills was burnt dry, there was no feed for the sheep, while here and there cattle had died.