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`Throw a bucket of cold water over you; not one but two, or as many as I could lay my hands on quickly.`

Ì believe you would.`

`Yes. Yes, I would, Daniel.` Her voice and expression were serious. Ì've seen enough drink in my time and I can't laugh at it any more. No, Daniel; do anything to ease your mind

... and your body, but don't do it through drink.`

Ì was only joking, Moira.` His voice was low and apologetic. And she nodded at him, saying, `Yes.

Yes, I suppose you were. But as they say, there's many a true word spoken in jest and I would hate to see you take the same road as your father.`

Òh, Moira, Moira.` His voice was no longer low. And hers wasn't either as she said, Òh, you can say

"Moira, Moira", like that but everything has a beginning. You've got to start somewhere and the way your mind has been of late, my dear, I wouldn't have been surprised if you had taken to drink; but at the same time, had it happened, I know I wouldn't be able to live with you. Oh, but what are we talking about?

Why be so serious? Come on, I'm sorry I've made you look so glum. Let's go and tell the children the good news.`

Daniel followed Moira into the hall, where she stood calling, `You, Margaret! Sean! Patrick!` He didn't wait for the children to come at her bidding, but went ahead of her to the kitchen, picked up his working coat and cap and went out. Prominent in his mind at that moment were her words, `Do anything to ease your mind or body,

except drink.` What exactly did 407 she mean by ànything`? Was she suggesting she would rather have him go to a brothel in Fellburn or Newcastle? Her words had been plain enough.

And this letter from her daughter. He was glad she was going to get the chance of a holiday; indeed, that they were all going to get the chance of a holiday. And where would that leave him? Alone in that house for the first time in his life, that's where, because even Rosie was now finding it impossible to stand for hours in the kitchen, for her legs were almost as bloated as had been Maggie Ann's; besides which she was an old woman. Well, what was he worrying about? He would be able to fend for himself. But it was the thought of the house with no-one in it. Anyway, it would only be for a few weeks and he'd appreciate them more when they returned, and their absence would give him a breathing space to think of what he was going to do with his life.

Oh, dear God! He kicked viciously at a stone in the path and saw it rise and whirl into the distance.

Didn't he know what he was going to do with his life? It was all mapped out every inch of the way as far as he could see, with one innovation: the brothels in the town.

Janie had brought Christmas presents and had stayed most of the day helping the children to decorate the hall and the drawing-room, as well as the top of a fir tree that Daniel had stuck in a tub, but which had caused much laughter and some concern when it tended to lean first one way and then the other.

Moira had asked her to visit on Christmas Day for tea, but Janie said she would have to refuse as her parents had already invited guests. But she promised to come on New Year's Eve and even spend the night, as her father, mother, and elder brother Hal, were going to London for two or three days. She had declined to accompany them because she had already promised Pattie to spend New Year's Day with her and John; and because her younger brother would be spending the holiday with his fiancée's family, as she put it to Moira, she'd be only too pleased to see the New Year in with them all ...

So it should happen that Janie came early on New Year's Eve and she helped Moira to make pastries for the high tea that was to be set for the children as a treat. And later in the evening she saw them all to bed amid laughter and screeches

as they chased each other from room to room, 409 when she was surprised to see that even Sean joined in the game. And when they were at last tucked up it was he who took her hand and held it against his cheek, an action she felt to be so tender as to bring a lump to her throat.

When she bent and kissed him, Patrick, in the other bed, let out a bellow of a laugh and hid himself under the bedclothes; but Janie didn't attempt to kiss him, she lightly smacked his bottom, at which he squealed.

At the bedroom door she turned to look at Sean, who was lying still, his eyes large and bright and shadowless, even though the bedside lamp was turned down low.

Later, when Moira was upstairs changing her dress, Janie, sitting by the roaring fire with Daniel, said to him, `They're all very excited, as if they had been to a party.`

`Well, to them, today has been as good as any party; but I think a lot of the excitement is the prospect of the trip ahead. You know, they've never been away from here in their lives. Patrick and Sean have been on the cart as far as Newcastle, but that's about the limit of their travelling.`

She was silent for the moment, then said musingly, `Sean is different from the others, don't you think?`

He too hesitated before he answered, `Yes. Yes, indeed, he's different from the rest.` His voice sounded flat and this caused her to make a statement: `You don't like that. Perhaps you wish he wasn't?`

Òh, it's no use wishing about another's character; we are all as we are made. You can't change what's inside.`

Ì don't agree with you.`

He turned his head sharply towards her, a smile on his face, as he said, `No?`

`No. You take Patrick, for instance. He's the roughest of all the children, but were you to send him to a good school, in two or three years time you wouldn't recognise him.`

`You're right in part. Oh, you're right in part. His veneer would be thick in two or three years timè--he was nodding at her now, a smile still on his face--`but underneath he would still be Patrick. His instincts will keep him "Patrick" all his life, and at one time or other his natural nature will break through his façade and there 411 you'll have the real Patrick.`

`You're very cynical, aren't you?`

`Me? No. I'm not cynical. I'm just making a statement about nature. Animals are the same. You could take a fox cub from the set and bring it up in the house, but it will still grow up as a fox inside, and when it first sees a rabbit or a young deer it would make for it.`

Ànd you deny that you're cynical; you're like Pattie, you know.`

`Well, I don't mind being compared with my sister. By the way, she tells me that you've stopped teaching. That was a short career.`

`Yes, it was.`

`Why? Why did you stop?`

Òh, for various reasons. I thought it was no use starting a new term, because I think, as I told you, Father wants me to go travelling with them.`

Ànd you're going?`

Ì don't know. I haven't quite made up my mind yet.`

`But what will you do if you don't go? Will you be left at home alone?`

Òh no; there'll still be Hal and Robert, and Robert's not getting married until the summer; then it's Hal's turn. I think that's why Father wants to get Mother away for a time, before, as he put it, the wedding fever hits everybody.` Janie had turned her head somewhat at the mention of weddings: she wondered if he knew that Frances was going to be married in March. But would it make any difference to him?

Would the fact that she was married get her out of his system? She doubted it.

When Moira came into the room she turned to her and exclaimed, Òh! you do look nice, Moira. I've never seen you in that dress. Is it new?`

`Yes; newly turned for the third time. It's really inside out now. And the lining itself made three summer smocks for the girls.`

`Well, it looks lovely. Mauve suits you.`

`Funny--` Moira laughed; then bending down, she turned up the hem of the dress, saying, `Look! Look!

it's really brown on the right side and shot mauve on the inside. I like the inside best, don't you?` She was laughing as she took her seat to the side of the fireplace,

saying, `But why do we bother to get 413 dressed up? I mean, I needn't have got dressed up for you, need I, Janie? And as for you, Daniel, you've seen me going round like a tramp for so many years, one more night wouldn't make any difference. So why did I bother tonight?`

`Vanity.`

`Vanity? Me! I never look in the mirror from one week's end to the other. As Maggie Ann used to say, you don't want to give yourself a shock every day, do you?` She now drooped her head and looked towards the fire as she said softly, `How I miss that woman. I never really felt alone when she was here, but when she went, part of me went with her. She was full of blarney and she never stopped talking. But practically everything she said had a meaning at the root of it: folklore, fantasy, or just superstition.`

Daniel rose to his feet now, saying, Ì think I'll have a drink;` then to Moira he said, Ì'm allowed one before twelve o'clock, aren't I?Ànd she thrust her hand out to him as she countered him with, `You can have as many as you know you can

carry; but the point is, will you know how many you can carry?`

Ì think so; I'll stop at fifteen.Às he went to pass her she slapped his arm, saying, `You didn't ask us what we would like, did he, Janie? Never asked us if we've got a mouth on us.`

`Well, what would you like, Janie? There's beer, and whisky, and there's port.`

Ì think I'll plump for the port,` said Janie, and Moira added, Ì too will plump for the port.Ìt was as they sat with their drinks that Moira raised her glass, first towards Janie and then Daniel, saying,

`Here's to the year that's passing and may nothing in it ever be repeated; and to the year that's coming, may it bring us health and what each of us wants most.`

Neither Daniel nor Janie said, I'll drink to that, but just raised their glasses to Moira's before they drank.

It was Janie who brought up the holiday, saying, `Have you decided when you're going to Ireland, Moira?`

`Well, yes,` said Moira. `Daniel

and I talked it over, and we think 415 we'll go towards the end of January, because it's no use waiting for the Irish Sea to be calm-- it's never calm; it doesn't know the meaning of it. There'll be seven seasick children and one seasick woman, that's for sure.`

`How long do you intend staying?àsked Janie.

À month. Oh, that'll be long enough; a month. Imagine the state of this house and him in it alone.` She thumbed towards Daniel. Ì've offered to see if I can get anyone in from the village but he'll have none of that. The big fellow says he can surely look after himself for a month. And 'tis a pity you'll be away about that time, too, Janie, else you could have come and popped in now and again and seen if he was alive.`

`Yes, I suppose we'll be off then too; at least, Father will be transporting Mother across to Holland. I've asked him why he doesn't go and live there, he's so fond of it. But his excuse for his frequent visits is that they are business trips.`

`What time is it?` Moira glanced at the clock. `Ten to twelve. My! how times flies when you're enjoying a crack. I think we'd better get ourselves muffled up and to the door. I love to hear the ships' sirens, and the fog horns, and the hooters from the factories, and the church bells all mingled together. It's only once a year you hear them and they always do something for me. I don't know`--she moved her head slowly--`the combined sound seems to speak of hope, somehow, hope that might never come to anything, but for the moment it's there.Ìt was five minutes to twelve when they opened the front door, and Daniel stood between them looking out into the darkness. There were stars in the sky and there was a frost that caught at the breath. `There'll be snow by tomorrow,` he said. Then they stood quiet, waiting until the first sound came to them: it was the distant peal of church bells in Fellburn, and immediately it was joined by a chorus of hooters and ships' sirens and the long boom of the fog horns. And Moira, with tears in her eyes now and a sob in her voice, said, `Death and birth, death and birth. We're into another.` Then turning to Daniel, she said, À

happy New Year, Daniel, my dear,` to which he quickly responded, Ànd to you, Moira, dear,ànd put his arms about her and kissed her. 417 Then he turned to Janie, and his hands went out to her and caught hers and he said, À happy New Year, Janie. A happy New Year.Ànd she answered with a break in her voice, Ànd to you, Daniel, to you, a happy New Year.`

Why he did it he didn't know; perhaps it was because she looked lost and lonely like himself, but he put his arms about her and he kissed her on the lips. And as Moira closed the door on the New Year, Janie closed her eyes. She had got what she had come for. She had hoped for it as a natural gesture to bring in the New Year, but she had been doubtful it would happen; and even then, not warmly and fully on her lips.

4

It was on the second Saturday in January that Pattie appeared unexpectedly at the house. She came in the back way, startling Moira, who was at the table chopping up vegetables.

Òh, my goodness! Where've you come from? You

did give me a start. How on earth did you get here through all the slush and muck?`

Ì swam; or very nearly!`

Ìs anything the matter?`

`No, not really; I just wanted to have a talk with you.`

Ànd you've come out all this way in this weather to have a talk with me? Well, it must be important. Sit yourself down. Let me have your coat. Margaret, pull that chair up for Auntie Pattie.`

`Hello, Auntie Pattie.`

`Hello, Margaret ... where are the others?`

Òh, up in the schoolroom or thereabouts where they've been all the week,` Moira answered. `They couldn't get to school, you know. Even when the thaw set in they would have been up to their knees in slush, for who would have expected rain on top of all that snow? Anyway, what would you like? There's hot broth, or a cup of tea.`

Ì'll have the broth; I'm frozen inside.`

While Pattie drank the bowl of broth, Moira resisted pressing the reason for her visit on such a morning; but as soon as 419 the bowl was empty she said, `There's a good fire in the drawing-room, so would you like to go in there?`

`Yes. Yes, I would.`

When Margaret made to follow them, her mother admonished her: `Bide where you are. Finish chopping those vegetables.Ònce seated in the drawing-room, Moira glanced at Pattie as she leaned forward and held out her hands to the blaze; then she said, `Well now, tell me; I'm dying to know. Nothing wrong with John, is there?`