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`No, nothing wrong with John. I wouldn't be here if there was anything wrong with John, now would I?`

`No, looking at it like that, you wouldn't. Well, why are you here? Not that I don't welcome you every time you come in the door; but in this weather, and it promising worse.`

`Well, that's why I'm here this morning, because it's promising worse and I wanted to have a talk with you; a serious talk.`

Moira stared at this young woman who wasn't in the habit of wasting words--those that came from her razor-like mind were never spoken idly.

Ìt's about your holiday, and Ireland.`

`Yes? Well, what about it? It's all set. Melissa sent me the tickets--I got them only yesterday--and more than enough money to get us across-- Oh, yes, more than enough--and a note to say that we'd be met at the boat because, I understand, it's a good distance to the house.`

What Pattie said next brought Moira upright in her chair and bristling not a little. `Do you want to see Daniel live his life as he is now, going on until he is middle-aged and your children grown up, or do you want to see him happily settled and with his own family?`

`Pattie ... Pattie, what are you saying to me? Are you accusing me of something?`

`No. I'm simply asking you a straight question. Do you want to see him happy, because as long as you and the children are here, he'll stay here. And he won't bring a wife of any kind into this house. Have you thought of that? any kind. Frances Talbot wouldn't have any of it, and I doubt if anybody else would either. But of that, I'm not quite sure.`

`Would you mind telling me, Pattie,` said Moira, rather stiffly now, `what you're getting at?`

`Yes. Yes, I'll tell you, 421 Moira. It's this. When you go to Ireland, if you care anything for Daniel, you'll stay there with the children, because the house you're going to is not your daughter's, it's yours ...

She's already put it in your name, and it's because she knows that you would love to return to your own country and have your children brought up there that she's done this. But in the ordinary way, if you went there on holiday, you would come back here and life would go on as usual; and as for Daniel, well, Frances Talbot is being married in March, that's sure, because her father will see that she marries where the money is. But there's someone else standing, as it were, waiting, and who has been patient for years, because she loved him long before that silly, conceited piece he went mad about even thought of him.

And you know whom I'm talking about ... Janie. But as long as you're here he won't turn to Janie: like most blind men he's got to be in a corner before he gropes his way out and sees things and people as they really are.Ìt was some time before Moira spoke, then she said quietly, `How have you come to know all this? Not about Janie, because I've known for a long time how she felt about Daniel, but Daniel's heart seemed set on the other one and still is, I think. But how did you come to know about the house and what my daughter intended to do?`

Pattie looked away, then held her hands out again towards the blaze. She knew that if she spoke the truth she'd put a damper on the whole scheme, if not kill it forever, because she dare not tell her that she wrote to Melissa and suggested that if it were possible she should set Moira up in Ireland because she had never really been happy here; and moreover that Daniel would never marry as long as she remained in this house and had the children to bring up. And that Melissa wrote back and thanked her and said she had put it to her husband and he was all for it, but that it would have to be done tactfully, when she was already in Ireland and settled in the house. So instead she said to Moira, Ìt was your daughter's idea.

She got in touch with me and asked me what I thought. And I told her what I thought. But knowing that you wouldn't like to be too near your own people--` she glanced now at Moira, saying, Ì thought I was right in saying that--I suggested that they should find a place some way off, say fifty miles away. And this is what they did; close to Dungannon.

But I must confess, Moira, I 423 didn't tell her that I aimed to come to you and ask you to free Daniel, because that's what I'm now doing.`

Moira got to her feet and walked across the room to one of the tall windows and stood gazing out on to the bleak day. She was upset; in fact, she felt humiliated. In as many words she had been accused of keeping Daniel from living his own life. Yet, she knew that, later on when she came to think about it, the accusation was correct, because the thought of living in this house without Daniel would have been unbearable to her; and also to his bringing a wife into it, which Pattie had said he would never do. But even if he had, that too would have been unbearable because she would no longer be the mistress of the house, but merely a stepmother-in-law who was relegated to the kitchen. And after all, would she mind not coming back here? and would she object to living in that beautiful house in Ireland with the two cows, and the hens, and the ducks, and the geese, and the stream at the bottom of the garden? No, she would love to be back in her own country among her own folk. Well, not really her own folk. No, she didn't want to be in the midst of them again; just

to see them now and then, perhaps, but to have no real truck with them. She'd had twenty-five years of that, which had been hell. No, it wasn't the idea she minded, it had been the way Pattie had shot it at her.

That razor-like mind of hers had no blunt edges. She turned towards the fire again and, taking her seat, she said, `You're nothing if not straightforward, Pattie.`

`Well, I couldn't see any other way of putting it. It's been worrying me to death since I first knew of your daughter's intentions. And I thought it was a wonderful idea. In the ordinary way you would have only taken it as a place to go for a holiday, because in your mind there would always have been the thought that you must return and look after Daniel. Now, isn't that so?`

Moira's head bobbed two or three times before she replied, `Yes, I suppose you're right. That is so.`

Then she added, `What am I to do? How am I to explain it to him?`

Òh, you'll just go as if you were off on holiday. Then, I suggest that you write to him and put it to him, saying that you would like to stay there and would he be able to manage on his own? But he mustn't have any inkling of what's going to happen before you go. It

must be done from that end, a sort of fait 425 accompli. Well, what I mean is, when the deed's already done, there's nothing much he can do about it.`

Òh, yes, I see, I see. Fait accompli. Yes, yes, of course. But ... but how in the name of God am I going to keep this up and say goodbye to him, knowing that I'm going for good? and the children too?`

Òh, it isn't as if you'll never see him again. He would love to go over to Ireland and visit you. He's never been there; in fact, he's never been anywhere. Do you understand that, Moira? He's a man, for all his young years; he's a man and he's never been anywhere, really, except around the extent of this farmland.

Of course, he had his schooldays, but then again, you won't know that my father didn't pay a penny for his fees. My mother had arranged that there was a certain amount of money given to the school to see him through till he was eighteen; and once he was eighteen, that was that. But, you remember, Father kept him back when he was sixteen. He talked as if he wasn't paying any more school fees for him, but he had never paid a penny in the first place, and Daniel would never have had a decent education if it hadn't been that my mother had foreseen how things would turn out.`

`Dear God! The things you learn. I thought I knew everything about Hector. But that was mean. I understood he had paid for him for eight years or more, but then couldn't afford to go on. I recall he said as much to me when I asked him if he would send the boy back to his school. Well, well, he's where the good Lord pleases, or the devil, and how he came to his end will never be really known. And I must be honest, I felt no sorrow at his going, and the more I learn of him the less guilt I feel about that. But about my future, Pattie: what if he takes it badly and thinks the worst of me for not coming back?`

`He won't, not if you put it to him as a question or a statement that you would like to stay there. But you could add that if he wants you back and is missing you all very much, you'd return. And in that case, well, it would be up to him what answer he would send to you ... Where is he now?`

Òh, at the market. He took some sheep in. And by the way, how did you get here?`

Ì hired a cab from the station to the crossroads and tramped the rest. I came through the farm. It wasn't too bad.` 427

`But how are you going to get back?`

`Well, I'll wait until he comes back and he can turn the trap or the farm cart around and lumber me to the station.` She rose now and came and knelt by Moira's side and, taking her hand, she said, `You're not mad at me, are you? You don't think me awful?`

Òh, Pattie, dear, think you awful? I think you are the most caring individual a body could meet in a day's walk. I ... I admit I was a little upset at first, because it came as a shock. You talk about a blind man, well, I've been a blind woman, a selfish one, I think, too, because, you know, Daniel's been like a son to me and I know I've been like a mother to him, and I'll miss him. There's no doubt about that, I'll miss him.

But oh, if I'm honest, I'll be glad to be back across the water. And I know one thing: Maggie Ann's spirit will go with me, because if she was here she'd be doing a jig from one end of the house to the other at the very thought of seeing our land again. It's odd, isn't it? the pull the ground on which you were born has on you.`

`Yes, nationality is a very odd thing. As you

say, it's a pull, a very strong pull. And you know something, Moira? Daniel won't be the only one who'll miss you. I'll miss you, and I feel this is the moment to come clean and apologise for my manner to you when you first came into this house. You laughed a lot then. You and Maggie Ann were always laughing.

But I had to learn a lot about human nature before I understood why you laughed such a lot.` She reached up and kissed Moira on the cheek, and Moira's arm went about her and held her close.

They drew apart as the door opened and Sean came into the room and Moira greeted him with, `Well, what are you after?`

`Nothing, Mama. I just want to get warm.Ànd he glanced from one to the other before moving to the fire and holding out his hands towards the flame.

5

It was the evening before they were due to leave. The hall was littered with bass hampers and boxes.

Moira emphasised that no-one was to carry a bundle: Melissa had planned and arranged the intricate journey to Belfast. Here they would be

met for the final stage to the house. 429 Melissa had even arranged for cabins to be provided for them on the boat should the weather be inclement, so she had stated in her last letter. And Moira had laughed about the word ìnclement` being attached to the Irish Sea.

For the last two or three days it had been impossible to keep the children under any kind of control, and today they had scampered here and there repeating their goodbyes to the men and their wives on the farm and saying goodbye to their special play places in the wood. They even stormed the village shop, buying a quantity of barley sugar sticks because this, Barney had told them, was a sure prevention for seasickness.

Mrs Mulcaster, who kept the shop, was very interested in all they had to say; and the customers who were present listened enthralled to their chatter as they described the beautiful house and grounds that belonged to their new sister Melissa. This information came from Margaret. And when there was surprise at the mention of a new sister, it was Patrick who boldly said that their mother had been married before she came to England, and that their half-sister's dada had died.

Well, this was only what Moira had told the children. And Patrick's words, of course, were borne out by the fact of the spanking outfit that had stopped at the inn last year.

Well, well! had said the villagers; at last things must be looking up for them up there on the hill; and not before time, some said, for that young fellow had worked like ten men since he had left school, and it had piled the years on him and made him near with money, so near he was likely to count the turnips.

So now the children were ready for bed for the last time in this house, had they but known it, the house in which they had been born. And this night, Daniel did not go upstairs, as he sometimes did, rampaging from one room to the other, threatening dire events if they didn't stop their squealing and settle down, which threats usually produced more chasing, and more squealing. Instead, he sat in the study behind his desk, his hands idle, his feelings so mixed he couldn't have explained how he felt if he had tried. He only knew he would miss them all, Moira in particular. And it was no use saying, what was a month? Anyway, it would soon pass; the house was going to be like an island and himself the only one on it. Of course, Janie 431 had promised to call in and Pattie and John were coming over each Sunday, weather permitting. But there were the meal times, and the evenings, and the scampering of feet, and the checking of this one or that.

When a tap came on the door, he called, `Yes? Come in,ànd in a way he wasn't surprised to see it was Sean.

Sean and he had hardly exchanged a word for some time now, and they each knew why. He saw no light around the boy now; it was more as though he were in a dark shadow. And when he came and stood by his side, saying, `Can I talk to you, Daniel?` Daniel said, `You've never before had to ask if you could talk to me.`

Ì haven't talked to you for a long time.`

Ì know that, Sean, I know that.`

`We're going away tomorrow.`

`Well,` Daniel gave a little laugh, Ì'd be a very dim individual indeed, wouldn't I, if I didn't know that, too.`

`Yes, you would. But what you don't know is, I'm not coming back.`

`What? What did you say?`

Ì'm not coming back.`