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`Daniel`--she spoke his name not loudly but very precisely and clearly--`look, get it into your head, please: I couldn't, I just couldn't live here.`

`Darling, darling Frances, nobody's asking you to live here as it is. I ... I could make this into a better place than the house itself, 255 more interesting. And that loft upstairs would make a magnificent bedroom from which you could see for miles, right over the treetops into Fellburn itself.

We're on high ground here, you know.`

She snapped her hand from his. `Daniel!` Her tone was gritty now. Ì won't! I can't live in a place like this, and next door to ... well, your stepmother and all those children.`

`You wouldn't hear the children, not through these walls.` His voice was quiet now. `You wouldn't see my stepmother, not unless you wanted to; although you couldn't see a better person, not in a day's walk, I tell you.`

`Daniel`--her tone was an appeal now-- Ì wish ... I wish I could see it your way because ... Oh, my dear`--her head was moving in a desperate fashion now--Ì do, I really do, and I would do anything for you, anything. Do you hear? Anything you want, that you really want at this moment. Do you understand me?` Her arms were about him now, as she went on, `Yes, Daniel; anything but live in this end of the house. In the house proper, if it was ours ... yes, oh yes; but not in this place, this old and smelly ... Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.`

Her body was pressing close to his now and for a moment his arms had been hanging slackly by his side, but now they were round her, pulling her tightly to him, and she was whispering, `Can ... can anyone come in here?`

The answer came thickly from his throat, `No. No.` But even saying this he pulled her back towards the door and, taking one arm from around her, he slid in the rusty bolt; then glancing about him in the dimness, he drew her to where there were a number of single bales of hay forming a narrow platform, and together they fell onto them.

He kissed her; he kissed her repeatedly; he unbuttoned the front of her coat and buried his lips in the nape of her neck; yet his hands did not stray down her body, because there was a voice shouting at him, penetrating the passion, demanding to be heard: If she has a baby, what then? and she wouldn't come and live here; and with Moira nearly on her time and Maggie Ann perhaps on her deathbed, and the children, too. All these were his responsibility. Frances wasn't that yet; but if he gave her a child she would be and he'd have to leave. And what would become of them next door, not to mention the house? Oh, to hell! with the 257 house and everybody in it. He wanted this girl, this beloved girl. His body and mind had been crying out for her for years; in fact, all his life, for he couldn't recall a time when he hadn't loved her. What was the matter with him?

Òh, Daniel. Daniel.` Her nails were digging into him.

When his body rolled off her and he lay on his back, his teeth clenched, she was hanging on to his neck, crying, `Daniel. Daniel. What is it? Please, please, Daniel, please ... please take me.`

He turned to face her, muttering, `God knows, Frances, I want to, with every pore of me I want to, but

... but the result ... the result. If--`

Ìt doesn't matter, it doesn't matter about the result, I tell you.` Her mouth was on his, covering it as never before, and her hands were going over him like those of a practised whore. And he had already learned the ways of a practised whore, twice, to his humiliation.

When, after almost tossing her aside, he sprang up and turned his back on her, she flung round, face down, and seemed to bury herself in the hay while thrashing it with her fists. Then, after a long interval, she too was on her feet and straightening her clothes, dusting herself down, buttoning up her coat, picking her hat up from where it had fallen to the side of the bales and dragging it on to her head. And her body now half bent towards him, she cried, Ì'll never forgive you for this, Daniel Stewart, as long as I live. You ... you've humiliated me for the last time. You've driven me to the point of madness over these past months, egging me on ... every time egging me on--`

`Frances! please!` His voice had a low deep plea in it. `Please! please! Try to understand. There's nothing on God's earth I want more than to take you at this moment, to love you, oh, to love you, but what if you were to have a child and you wouldn't come here to live? You say you wouldn't, that nothing would induce you. Then I would have to leave, wouldn't I? And I can't. I'm bound here, at least for a time.`

`Yes. Yes,`--her lips were in a snarl now--`but not for a time, for eternity! And with the two great Irish hulks. Your father should never have married

dear Moira; you should have married her, 259 shouldn't you? Shouldn't you? ... One last word; as my father says, there's more fish in the sea than has ever been caught, and there happens to be one big fish after me. He has been for some time, and he's known to both of us. So, put that in your pipe and smoke it, Mr Daniel Stewart!`

When she went to the door and wrenched the bolt back, he made no move either to halt her or to follow her: the last word he would have associated with her was common. Yet, over the past few minutes she had spoken like Maggie Ann or Rosie would have done and in the same manner.

He turned now and sank down on to the baled hay. There are more fish in the sea ... and he's known to both of us. Well, there was only one man known to both of them whom she was likely to look upon with favour, or at least, her father would, and that was Ray. However, Ray was interested in Janie. Or was he? ... But she wouldn't go to Ray; it was all talk; she was his. Yet that last tirade sounded final: she had been humiliated. Oh, dear God, that was the last thing he wanted, to make her suffer humiliation, because he was feeling the same emotion himself. He had, in a way, humiliated himself by repulsing her when his whole being was crying out for her.

After rising from the hay he had to dust himself down before leaving the storehouse, and when he moved out of the clammy stuffiness into the biting fresh air it was, for a moment, as if he had taken a long draught of ale, for he felt slightly giddy, as if he were drunk.

He made his way to the kitchen. There was no one there, so he brewed a pot of tea, making it almost black; and, sitting at the table, he drank two cups. He was still sitting there when Moira came in. She showed surprise by saying, Òh, I ... I thought you'd be away walking. I mean ... did you see--?ònly to stop when she saw the expression on his face. `Trouble?` she asked.

`Yes, Moira, you could say trouble.`

`She wants you to leave here?`

He had been looking down to where his hands were joined tightly on the edge of the table, and then he fumbled, saying, `No ... well, not quite. It wasn't really that, it was--`

`But that is the mainspring of it all? And it's natural. This house ... well, not the house, but us, the children, the conditions ... she couldn't 261 see herself living here. And your idea of doing up the old place ... well, you know, Daniel, that in itself would take a great deal of money; and a bride such as she would want to furnish it in her own way, not with bits and pieces from here. I understand. I understand her.`

`Well, it's more than I do.` Daniel got to his feet now. Ànyway, it's finished.`

`Finished? You mean that?`

`Yes, as far as she's concerned, anyway. One person will be over the moon; and that'll be her dear papa, because he has been against me from the beginning. Not her mother, or Luke ... they would be for me, but when it comes to decisions they don't count.`

She went to him and put her hands on his shoulders and looked into his face as she said, `You're young; twenty years old. There are other girls or, better still, other women. I know how you feel: there's nobody in the world but her; and you'll go on feeling that for a long time. But then it'll pass.`

`Well, Moira, I wish time would pass

quickly, but I'm afraid there'll only ever be her for me.`

Moira sighed and nodded at him, saying, Ì still feel the same way about Paul, Melissa's father, yet I know now I could have loved again, and your father too, if he had turned out to be a different kind of man. It's very odd, Daniel, the little things that stop you from loving a person. If he hadn't scorned Maggie Ann from the first and treated her like dirt; if he had even given her the slightest respect due to an ordinary servant. But then I can't blame him in that case, can I? becausè--she smiled now-- `Maggie Ann could never act like an ordinary servant. And she had been with me from the day I was born and she brought Melissa into the world. There are strong, strong ties between her and me, stronger, much stronger than those that exist between my own mother and myself. I carry no feelings for my own mother as I do for Maggie Ann. They say blood is thicker than water, and so one should remember you are carrying the same mixture in your veins, but that has never held with me. I've never felt any close ties with my family, yet I have with Ireland, my country. You know, I still long for Ireland, even after all these years here. How many 263 now? Nearly ten years, but at times it seems I've been away a lifetime, and in this house a lifetime. Yet at others I feel that I left Ireland yesterday. But there, I've learned a lot in the last ten years that I never would have learned in the old country. I met you, and that makes up for so much. Well now--` she stepped back from him and more briskly now, she said, `you'll be having me singing Ireland Forever and Up the Fenians, if I don't look out. Are you going back to the farm?`

`Yes. Yes, I'm going back now.`

`Well, go and look in and say a word to Maggie Ann before you go. I know it's only a couple of hours since you saw her but she loves to have a little crack with you.`

He said nothing more but went out and along the corridor. He stopped before he reached Maggie Ann's room and Frances's words came back to him: `You are bound to the two great Irish hulks for eternity.

You should have married dear Moira.`

The doctor had called twice during the

week, and Moira was helping him on with his coat once again when she said, `How are you finding her?`

Òh, well, much the same. She was concussed for a time but that seems to be improved and she's cheerful enough; oh! yes. Anyway, I gather she's of a very cheerful nature.`

`Yes. Yes, she is, Doctor.`

`Well then, the only trouble you're going to have with her, as far as I can see, is keeping her clean.`

`That won't be any trouble.`

`Those tablets I gave her on Monday haven't as yet started to have much effect: she'll know about it when they do. Oh! dear me. I've often got to wonder if the cure isn't worse than the disease in some cases. And now, what about yourself? You're looking a bit peaky. When do you expect it?`

`Not until the beginning of March.`

Òh, you've got some way to go yet, then.`

When she opened the door she cried in a surprised tone, `Well! well! Hello, Janie.Ànd Janie answered, Ì was just about to ring the bell. I've been to the back door and couldn't get an answer. 265 Good-morning, Dr Swift.`

`Good-morning, Miss Farringdon. You're out of your way, aren't you?`

Òne is never out of one's way visiting friends, Doctor.`

Òh, I stand reprimanded. You're right, one is never out of one's way visiting friends. Well, good-day to you, Mrs Stewart. I may not be in till Monday, but should you need me, you know where I am.`

Ì do, Doctor, I do, and thank you very much.`

`You're welcome. You're welcome.`

Watching the doctor making his way down to his trap, Moira said to Janie, `How did you get here?`

`The same way as the doctor: in a trap; but I took the liberty of putting both it and the horse into the shelter over there under the open barn.`

Òh, that was sensible. Come in, my dear. Come in.`

Ì've called to see how Miss McTaggart is, not only on my own account but on Pattie's. We were at a lecture last

night in Newcastle and I told her of what I had heard about Miss McTaggart being hurt and she asked me to call and tell you how sorry she was and that she would be writing today.`

`That's nice of her. 'Tis a pity she can't bring herself to come. But there, you know all about it, don't you, Janie? Now would you like a hot drink?`

Ì wouldn't say no, but I don't want to put you to any bother. I tell you what I would like, though, and that's a word with your Maggie Ann, as everybody calls her, that's if she is allowed visitors.`

Òh, she'd be delighted. Look, I'll take you to her, then I'll bring a drink in. Oh, that would please her.

Come along, my dear. You'll find her cheery, but I must tell you, her ... her days are numbered.` ...

When Janie entered the room she went straight to the bed and, taking the hand outstretched towards her, she said, Òh, I am sorry to hear of your accident. How are you feeling?`

`Never better, my dear, never better. I've wanted to do this all me life, lie in bed and be waited on. Sit yourself down. To tell you the

truth I did this on purpose; 'twas 267 the only way I could stretch me legs.Às Moira went out of the room Janie bit on her lip for a moment before she made herself say, Àt times, I too long to stay in bed, but I've got a martinet of a father. He always wants to be up and about and take me with him. Now Mother is different. She stays in bed whenever she gets the chance, but that's only when Father's away on business.`

There was silence between them for a moment while they looked at each other; then Maggie Ann said,

`'Tis some time since I saw you. You're looking bonny.`

Janie cast her eyes downwards for a moment, then smiled and said, `May I call you Maggie Ann?`

`What else is me name? When the doctor said Miss McTaggart, I looked round the room for her.`

`Well, Maggie Ann, like all those of your nationality, you'd sin your soul to pay a compliment and to put someone at their ease, now wouldn't you?`

Maggie Ann did not answer for a moment, but she looked at this young woman and said, `From the first time I saw you, when you were a schoolgirl, I think it was when you came to a party here, I thought, she'll make a nice body, that one, and I'm never mistaken about character. Now this is not Irish blarney, and I repeat, you are bonny, because your nature shines through. And that's what pays in the long run, just as with Moira. It always used to be "Miss Moira", because after all we were mistress and maid, but of latter years the "miss" has been dropped, because we're sisters under the skin. She is another one with a bonny nature. And people with bonny natures often get the dirty end of the stick, yet somehow I don't think you will, because you've got a level head on your shoulders, and Daniel said that some time ago.