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In her room, Pattie did not sit down, because she knew that if she did she would start to cry. But she went to the wash-basin and wiped her face with a wet face-cloth, then took off her ink-stained coat, before picking up the loose coat that lay across the two cases at the foot of the bed and putting it on.

Then, lifting the two cases and the soiled coat, she left the room without a backward glance.

There was only Maggie Ann standing in the 79 hall, and she said, Òh! lass. Lass. Oh, Miss Pattie; for this to happen.Ànd Pattie said to her, Àsk Patrick to run down to the stables and see if one of the men would carry these cases to the cart.`

Ì'll do that, I'll do that, Miss Pattie. But oh, dear God! it's sorry to the heart of me I am to see you goin'

like this. There's no luck in this house, you know, Miss Pattie. God walked out of it many years ago, and luck went with Him. He's a godless man, your father. He is. He is.`

`Please, Maggie Ann.`

Àll right, all right, I'm away.` But before she made to go she came to Pattie and, putting her huge arms about her, she drew her tightly into her embrace and kissed her.

It was too much: tears sprang from Pattie's eyes and, bending again, she lifted the cases and humped them through the front door and on to the terrace, where she stood for a good five minutes before Alex Towney came hurrying towards her.

Characteristically he said nothing, but picked up the two cases and walked down the steps and towards the

path that led to the farm, and she followed him.

It wasn't until he reached the farm that he said, `There's only the cart that'll be goin' into town, Miss Pattie, and that won't be for another half hour. I'll leave the cases here, but you come along of me, and my missis will see to you until it's time to go.`

She paused a moment before nodding to him and following him down the narrow path to the row of four cottages.

Alex Towney opened the door of the second cottage and stood aside to allow Pattie to enter the small room: then he shouted, `You there, Alice?Ànd when a woman appeared in the doorway wiping her hands on an apron and exclaimed, Òh! Miss Pattie, Miss Pattie, what is it? What is it?` he said. `Never mind what it is, Miss Pattie would like to sit here until the cart comes back from the village, when it will take her into Fellburn. 'Tis Fellburn you want to go, miss, isn't it?`

`Yes. Yes, thank you, Alex.Àlice Towney was a motherly woman, and as such she began to fuss around, saying, Èeh! I've never got cleaned up this mornin', miss; 81 I've been at the poss-tub since early on. You've got to get the fine weather, and there's a bit of wind blowin' and it dries. Look, miss. Oh, do sit down, miss ... that's right. Now, can I get you anything? There's a nice drop of soup in the pan there.` She pointed to the open fire, and at this Pattie said, `No, thank you, Mrs Towney; I'm all right. But I wouldn't mind a glass of water.`

À glass of water it is, miss. A glass of water.Às she bustled out of the room her husband said, Ìt looks as if you're goin' for good, miss.Ànd she replied, `Yes, Alex, I'm going for good.`

`You'll be missed up there 'cos you were the only steady one among them. Irish folk are never steady.

But speak as you find, I've always found the missis pleasant, and kindly at that. But the way things are goin', miss, between you and me, there'll be very little left to be kindly with, shortly. I've never seen a place run down so quickly. Now, if you yourself had been a man and a son ... no offence meant, miss;

'cos what I'm

meanin' is, you've got a head on your shoulders and you would have done something about things long afore now ... Oh, here she is with the water. Now you're sure that's all you want, miss?`

`Yes. Yes, thank you, Alex.`

`Well, I'll go along and see if the cart's back.` ...

He wasn't away five minutes before he returned, saying, `For once in his life he's back on time. Will you come along now, miss?`

Pattie thanked Mrs Towney, and when they reached the farmyard she thanked Alex too; and lastly, she said to him, `Would you make it your business, Alex, to see Daniel`--she did not say Master Daniel--ànd tell him I'm in Fellburn? He knows the address; he has been before.`

Ì'll do that, miss. He's due home the morrow, isn't he?`

`Yes, tomorrow.`

His last words to her as he helped her up into the back of the cart, in which Bob Shearman, the shepherd, had laid clean sacks to cover the tramped-in sheep droppings, were, Ìt's a scandal you havin'

to go out like this. You should have ordered

the trap, miss. That's what you should have 83 done.`

What she said to him, and with a sad smile, was, Ì always used to like riding in the cart. You remember, Alex?Ànd the man gulped in his throat before he said, Àye, I remember, miss. Goodbye, now, and the best of luck and I hopes you'll be happy in whatever you do.`

Ì'll be happy, Alex. I'm getting married next week.`

Òh! you are, miss? Well, well; that's news, and it's glad I am to hear it. Is it the teacher man, miss?`

Ìt is the teacher man, Alex.`

`Good, good. He's one of your own sort. May you live long together, miss. That's what I wish you.`

`Goodbye, Alex, and thank you.`

`Goodbye, miss.Às the cart trundled through the back gate and along the rutted road towards the coach road the tears started again and she screwed up her eyes and bowed her head in an effort to fight them.

2

It was late evening on the following day. The house was quiet, the children's chatter had faded away into sleep; and Maggie Ann was upstairs with Moira, where she had been for the past two hours. Most of this time Hector had spent walking from the door leading into the kitchen, across the hall, through the drawing-room to its farthest window, which gave him a partial view of the drive, then back again into the hall and to the front door to stare into the deepening twilight. Every now and again he would bring his teeth together and grind them until his cheekbones tightened against the flesh of his face.

When at last he saw his son coming from the direction of the yard he took up a position in the middle of the hall. With his legs astride and his fists pressed on to his hips, he waited; but he had to wait some minutes before he came face to face with his son, because Daniel had come in by way of the kitchen and was taking his time before entering the hall. And when he did he paused for a moment and stared at the figure that looked ready for battle. Then the voice came at him, bawling, `What the hell do you mean by taking the trap without my 85 leave? And after I told you not to go to her, didn't I?`

Daniel walked slowly forward, to stop a couple of arm's lengths from his father, but he didn't speak. His eyes were on a level with his father's, for at sixteen he was unusually tall. As yet his body hadn't filled out, but he had broad shoulders and narrow hips and these two points promised a good figure in his manhood.

`For two pins I'd take you by that bloody scraggy neck of yours and twist it.`

`Why? Because I now know the truth about you?`

`What truth? The rubbish that your neurotic mother scribbled to fill in her time? You know what your mother was? She was an unnatural woman.Às Daniel stared at the face suffused with anger, his mind was again reading the words, Ì have come to such a pass that I cannot even allow myself to touch my son, for when I do I am seeing him become as his father, a ravenous beast, taking what he terms his rights without any show of tenderness or love.

Animals have a love display. I recall watching the peacocks in Grandpapa's garden. This man, who was keeping a mistress on the money I

provided, would also force himself on me. Only the threat that, of my own accord, I would walk out and into Fellburn and place myself in the hands of the Poor Law Guardians has restrained him, for he knows full well I would carry out this threat rather than have my body defiled again.`

His father had continued talking: his voice a growl now, he was saying, `You would think I had committed a bloody murder. Tell me the man that doesn't have a mistress or someone on the side.

Matthew Talbot has had a woman for years. But do you hear Lilian yarping on about it? No, she's got more sense. Even Shearman down on the farm has been carrying on with a piece in Fellburn, and to my knowledge he's fathered another hereabouts. And that narrow-minded, sanctimonious bitch throws it up in my face as if I was the only man in the land who took his pleasures on the side. And as for you, you young scut, I warned you not to listen to her.`

For the first time Daniel broke in, saying, `No, I wasn't listening to Pattie, I was just reading Mother's diaries and discovering what she suffered under a man who doesn't know what tenderness or kindness is.`

Òh my God! now you. Boy, you 87 don't know what you're talking about; you've had it too easy.

But let me tell you, your pleasant life has stopped from now on, for you're not going back to that school; you're staying here and learning what it is to work for your living.`

These words came as a shock to Daniel, and the prospect of being kept at home and learning farming seemed for the moment to cut off his future life, the life he had planned in his mind: he was going to stay at the High School until he was eighteen or more: Mr Pearson had indicated he had a good head on his shoulders and should then aim for an open scholarship at either Oxford or Cambridge. He fancied being a doctor because he was good at natural philosophy and chemistry.

So bleak was the prospect his father was presenting him with that, the shock over, Daniel yelled at him, Ì won't stay on the farm! I intend to go to university. You can't keep me here.`

`Well! Well! Ho! Ho!Ìt was the high ironical laugh. `Has your sister promised to pay your school fees?

Huh! That churchmouse teacher of hers will hardly earn enough to feed them; she herself will have to work to keep a roof over their heads ... You are my son and you'll do what you're told. You'll learn how to run this farm.`

`Like hell I will! Learn how to run the farm to give you time to go whoring with ... your Barbie, while Moira, year after year, becomes worn out with bearing your brood ...?`

The fist caught him on the ear and sent him reeling against the pillar at the foot of the stairs. Intuitively he grabbed for support at the large wooden ball on top of the pillar.

His head was banging and through his blurred vision he could see only the outline of his father standing to the side of him, but it was enough.

It was the surprise of the spring that bore them both to the floor, and all Daniel was aware of at this moment was the great strength concentrated in his hands as they flailed at his father and of screaming words he had never before voiced.

Of a sudden he felt himself being dragged backwards across the floor, before becoming aware that Moira and Maggie Ann were standing over him and that there was a salty taste in his mouth.

The next thing he knew was they had hoisted him to his feet and were leading him away.

He heard Maggie Ann say, Ìt 89 was the ring; it's split the lobe of his ear. You sit down on the chair beside him while I go and get some water;` then Moira's voice saying softly, `Where is he?ànd the answer coming, `Looking after himself as usual. I shouldn't worry about him.`

Through the muzziness in Daniel's head ran the thought: he's not dead then. And at this he felt a deep regret.

He opened his eyes and saw Moira's face, and his head seeming to clear, he saw that she looked tired and sad: Ì'm sorry,` he muttered.

Ìt's all right. It's all right, boy. These things happen in all families; it's part of the pattern.`

Òh, Moira; I'm not sorry that I hit him, I'm only sorry you're upset.` He made to rise from the couch and she laid her hand on his shoulder, saying, `Be still now. You're bleeding.`

Ì'm bleeding?`

`Yes, your ear's split.`

He put up his hand to the side of his face, then looked at his red fingers and, like a child repeating words, said, `Yes, I'm bleeding.` Then his tone changing, he said, `That's the first time, but it'll be the last he'll hit me, because I'm leaving.`

`Don't talk so.`

Ì am. I am, Moira. I can't stay here now.`

`You mustn't leave. You can't leave. What would I do without you?`

He turned fully about and looked at her, and she nodded at him, saying, Ì've lost Pattie. We became friends, you know; but you and I were friends from the very first moment. All I seem to live for now is your school holidays.`

`But, Moira, I've got to go. There are things you don't understand.`

She now bent over and, bringing her face towards his and her voice a mere whisper, she said, `There's nothing I don't know about him, Daniel, and that I haven't known for a long time, but I've made me bed and I've got to lie on it. And there are things in all our lives, mistakes, regrets--`

`But he doesn't regret anything. He carries on in the same way as--`

`How d'you know he doesn't 91 regret? And you know, my dear, whatever he does with his life is between him and me, and if I can put up with it, you can put up with it. He's an unhappy man, your father. He's a failure, and all such men are unhappy, and women too. I was a failure; that's why I married him.`

`What are you talking about?`

She smiled wearily now, saying, Ì don't know. I just don't know. But yes, I do, and one day, when you're older, I will tell you a story and it will explain why I laugh a lot.` Her voice rapid now, she whispered, `Here comes my guardian angel. We've all got one, you know.`

When Maggie Ann reached the couch she exclaimed loudly, Àh well, you've come round then; you're not going to die yet. My stars! I've never seen such a fight as that since I left God's country. You've got the strength of the devil in you, boy. D'you know you nearly throttled him? Of course he must have been half stunned with fallin' as he did on his back, else you wouldn't have got that far. But my! my! you nearly made a clean job of it.`

`Be quiet! Maggie Ann, and get on with this job, or give the cloth to me.`

`You sit back there, woman, and let me clean up his face, and then the mess on this good couch cover.