If You Only Knew (And Then Came Love Book 1) (28 page)

Julian sat up in bed. “What time is it?”

“Almost six.” She put her wrist to his forehead then glanced at her watch.  

“Sometimes when my moods are rapid cycling it’s like my brain gets a short. I’ll be fine one minute and the next minute I’ll be asleep.” Julian rubbed at his face.

Liza touched his shoulder. “It doesn’t happen when you’re driving does it? Or doing something dangerous?”

“I can tell when it’s coming on. That’s part of the reason I left the store today. Since last night, my moods have been changing sporadically. When they do, I know a short is coming.” He fell on the bed and closed his eyes.

“Does this happen often?” She rested beside him. Her head resting on her hand. “Next time tell me what’s going on, I would have come home with you.”

“I never know. It could last one day or it could happen to me every day for the next three weeks. It’s all a matter of how my brain is working.” Julian shrugged. “Hard to tell.”

“Have you been taking your pills? I saw you smoked a little earlier, did it help any? Did drinking last night have something to do with it?”

“The smoking mellowed me out quite a bit. I didn’t take my pills last night, because of the drinking, but I took them this morning.”

“Do you need to see your doctor? Hell, do you even have a doctor? We’ve been at this for four months and I know little to nothing about your medical history.” Liza sat up. How had she missed finding out the information?

“All my medical information is in my wallet. Doctors and my med list.” He yanked out his wallet and sat up. He opened it, pulled out a credit card sized plastic folder out of his wallet and handed it to her.

She flipped through seeing business cards for doctors and a folded piece of paper with the words Med List written across it. “So I’d contact this Dr. Marcus if anything happened to you?”

“Yep.” Julian put the plastic thing in his wallet. “I’ll get you copies of it all to keep with you. It’s best if you have it.”

“You didn’t answer my question. Do you need to see Dr. Marcus?”

“No, I’ll be fine. If it gets worse I’ll give him a call. I have an appointment with him next Wednesday. Maybe you’d like to come?” He wrapped his arm around her. “Meet the man in charge of trying to keep me sane?”

“I’d love to.”

“Good, I’ll call him tomorrow.” He kissed her head.

Liza smiled.

A breakthrough.

*****

July 28
th

Liza sat up in bed Saturday morning. Her heart raced and she couldn’t catch her breath.

Julian rolled over and rubbed her back. “You okay?”

“I have this overwhelming feeling something will go wrong today. Terribly, terribly wrong.” She shivered and slowed her breathing trying to get control.

“Call off? It can’t go wrong if we spend the day in bed.” Julian’s hand moved under her shirt.

She squealed and smacked his hand. “You’re incorrigible.”

“Yeah, but you love me anyway.” He tried to tug her onto his lap.  

“I do, but I have to get ready for work.” She kissed him before climbing out of bed.

*****

Julian walked into the apartment. He worked in his lab most of the day. Handing over a sample of his stash and his research to Vince turned out to be exciting.

Liza sat on the couch when he came in.

“Hey, babe.” He kissed her cheek and sat down beside her. “Did you ever get over that feeling from this morning?”

“I was right about that. My boss is a big fat liar and I’m getting in trouble for it.” Liza pursed her lips and took a drink of the tea she held in her hand.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve run this particular visitation off and on for the last few months. The children always need transportation, but today the parents needed a ride as well. Anyway, the parents live in Bryton and the kids live in Marion. So, I pick up the parents first. I even double-checked with Kate about this . . . ahead of time.”

“I don’t understand the problem.” Julian shrugged. “So what happened?”

“It makes sense in a logistics sense, however in the world of case management it isn’t wise. Which means taking the parents to the foster families home.”

“Oh – yeah, not a good idea.” Julian shook his head.

“And Kate, on numerous occasions told me if they both needed transportation it would be fine to pick up the parents and then pick up the kids.” Liza let out a deep breath and placed the cup on the table. She face Julian.

“And you know what the lying bitch does to me today? She calls me at four o’clock as I was leaving.  To tell me, I need to have a meeting with her and Trina on Monday, because what I did caused a major problem.” Liza clenched her fists.

“Do you want me to call them? I have pull, I’m sure I could convince them not to write you up for the proper amount of money.” Julian rested his hand on her shoulder.

“No. I want Kate to stop lying. I’ve made sure to clear this with her every time she mentions this family. I’m going to be thrown under the bus, because my boss is trying to stay out of trouble. I hate this.” Liza leaned down.

Julian flipped her onto her back, one leg in between her thighs as he hovered over her, careful not to apply any weight to her belly. “You’ll make it. If they fire you, so what? You don’t need the job anyway, you have me.”

“I guess the one good thing about all of this is that I have the day off tomorrow.” She pushed against his chest.

“Great! I’m sure I can think of some way to keep your mind off things.” He tugged her to her feet. “Did you sit in a pile of sugar?” Julian squeezed her ass.

“Why?” Liza bit her lip and waited.

“Because you have a sweet ass.”

She laughed and ran a finger down his chest. “I have one for you, too.”

“Oh yeah?” He put his arms around her shoulder as they walked toward the bedroom.

“I’m not wearing any socks and have panties to match.”

Julian chuckled as he fell onto the bed and pulled her down on top of him.

Chapter Sixteen

July 30
th

Liza sat in her car on Monday afternoon, dread hanging over her head thanks to Kate and the looming meeting. The morning sickness stopped after her first trimester, but now her stomach rolled. She removed her anti-nausea medication from her glove compartment and popped one of the pills.

Kate and Trina walked toward the building. Kate whispered to Trina and then Trina looked at Liza’s car. Trina laughed at something Kate said then they made their way into the building.

Her stomach lurched, she covered her mouth, and swallowed. She pulled her purse over her shoulder, climbed out of the car, and headed into the building.

“Hey, Liza.” Brenda waved. “I’m so jealous. You’re one of those cute pregnant ladies. I blew up like a hot dog when I was pregnant.”

“I feel like a hot dog most days.” She shook her head. “I have a meeting with Kate and Trina.”

“Yeah – they said to go on back. I wish you luck. Hopefully, things will work out in your favor.”

“I doubt it.” Great, did everyone know she was in trouble? She let out a deep breath and headed toward Trina’s office.

Trina motioned her into the office and Kate closed the door behind her. “Margaret wanted to fire you, but we told her we’d take care of it another way,” Trina said. Margaret was the executive director of their company.

“Wait, what?” Liza sat back in her seat. Stunned.

“You, took parents to a foster family’s house. That’s a breach of contract.” Trina pounded her finger into her desk. “The foster parents called the CPS worker screaming and complaining about it. In turn, the CPS worker called us.”

Liza looked at Kate. “But that’s what you told me to do.”

Trina’s gaze shot to Kate so fast, Liza thought her head was going to fall off.

Kate held up her hands. “I would never tell anyone to do that. I know it’s breach of contract.”

“What the hell?” Liza covered her mouth, before dropping her hands and continuing. “We’ve had this discussion every weekend since I started this case.  The conversation starts out with me asking if they need transportation. Then I ask if it is okay to pick up the parents first and take them with me to pick up the children. Your response has always been. It will be fine, there’s no problem with that.”

Kate’s eyes widened at the reference, but she hid her reaction. “I never said anything of the sort. It’s against policy.”

“That’s why I never would have taken the kids to a foster families house unless you stated it was okay . . . which you did.” Liza looked over at Trina.

Trina sat back in her chair and shook her head. “Listen, Liza. I know you’re going through a pretty rough time right now. The whole being pregnant and single thing, but it’s no reason to try and blame other people for your mistakes.”

Liza puffed out her cheeks. She wanted to scream, why didn’t Trina believe her. “First of all, I’m not blaming other people for my mistakes. I’m telling you what happened. Second, I may be pregnant, but I’m not single.”

“You’re back with Julian?” Trina peered at Kate, before picking up a pen and scratching something on a piece of paper.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, I’m
back
with Julian.” Liza grabbed her laptop. “I think she even told me the same thing in an e-mail once.”

Trina held up her hand. “There’s no need for that. Are you sure she didn’t tell you to drop them off at the house before you went to pick up the kids?”

“No, think about it. I’d have to drive an hour one way to get the parents, bring them to the house and leave them there. They’d be alone in the house, while I drove an hour the other direction for the kids, then reverse when the session is done. I specifically asked if that’s how Kate wanted to value my time. She said, pick up the parents then get the kids. I wouldn’t have done it, if she hadn’t said to.”

“I don’t know why you’re lying.” Kate pointed her finger at Liza. “Because I’m the one who saved your job.”

“How can you say that, when you’re lying now?” Liza clenched her fists, against the chair, her blood pressure rose with each word. She took a deep breath as she tried to keep things in check. The baby kicked. Evidently, she wasn’t the only one upset by the situation.

“Kate suggested you go to counseling.” Trina leaned forward and handed a note to Kate, before looking at Liza. “If you contact a counselor this afternoon and get in to see someone by Wednesday you won’t lose your job.”

What was that about? “Fine. I’ll call when I leave here.”

“If you think this job is too much for you, we could make your job part time,” Trina suggested.

“No, thank you. Let me sign the paperwork and give me the number to the counselor so I can get back to work.” Liza held out her hand for the paperwork.

Trina nodded and pulled out a sheet of paper for Liza to sign.

*****

Liza’s mood didn’t improve. She picked up a child for visitation only to arrive at the house to find out the visitation was cancelled.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” Liza paced the visitation house, trying to stay calm in front of the child.

Kate shrugged. “I called you, are you sure you checked your messages?”

Liza clenched her fists at her side and marched out the door. If she didn’t get out of there now she was going to throat punch Kate.

She ran the child home, only to have the client call and say she was at the office. Liza cancelled the visitation.

Liza’s phone rang, it was Kate. “Fuck me.” She answered the call. “Yes?”

“Why did you cancel the visit? The mother was here. After today, I would think you’d want to watch your p’s and q’s when it came to this job.”

“I was there, Kate. I was at the house, you saw me.
You
told me to take the kid home. The visitation was cancelled. I took the kid home, the mother shows up and
now
you’re mad I cancelled?” Liza pulled into a parking lot so she didn’t crash her car. Her hands shook.

“Just don’t do it again.” Kate hung up.

Liza stared at her phone. Kate hung up on her. She screamed and pounded her hands against the steering wheel thank God that was her last visit of the day.

She wanted nothing more than to curl up with Julian and have him tell her everything would be okay. She stalked into the apartment to find it empty and a note on the table.

At the lab. Let me know how the meeting went. –Julian

Crumpling the paper, she screamed silently before running toward her bedroom. Tonight of all nights, he chose to be gone. She plopped down on the bed, rolled on her side, and let the tears flow.  

*****

Liza opened her eyes when she felt a hand on her shoulder, shaking her. She opened her eyes to see Julian sitting on the bed beside her. Her gaze fell to the clock. Ten forty-five.

“Are you okay?” He touched her head. “I sent you a couple texts and tried to call. I was hoping you’d come to the house after work.”

“It’s ten forty-five, Julian, I’ve been off work for hours.” Liza rested her hand under her cheek and stared at the wall.

“I’ve been sending you texts since six.” Julian came around the bed, so he was sitting in front of her. “How’d it go?”

She stared at his leg, if she looked him in the eyes, she’d cry again. “Great, so I didn’t hear my phone. My luck Trina’s called fifteen times and I’m fired now.”

Julian rubbed her arm. “I take it the meeting didn’t go well?”

“Nope, Kate threw me under the bus, like I said she would.” Liza curled her legs up until they stopped at her belly.

“I knew I should have called.” Julian pounded his fist into his hand.

“No, I didn’t get fired, but do have to go to counseling.” Liza raised her gaze to look in his eyes.

“Counseling for what?”

“For telling the truth. I know what she told me. I think I even have it in an e-mail, I just couldn’t find it today.” Liza clenched her fists.

Julian stood and paced. “What the fuck? They can’t do that to you. You need to find that e-mail. If you do, you can prove she’s lying.”

She caught his arm. “Calm down. I called Dr. Marcus’ office, there’s a therapist there who can see me the hour before your appointment.”

He let out a heavy breath. “Sure, that works.” He patted her shoulder. “Why don’t you put your shoes on and I’ll take you out to dinner?”

“It’s eleven o’clock and I have to work in the morning.” She buried her head in the pillow.

“You still have to eat, princess.”

Her stomach growled in response.

“Sounds like Petunia’s hungry.”

“Petunia? Really? We are not naming our daughter after a stinky flower.”

“Sweetpea? Penelope?”

“Oh brother, we’re going to have a helluva time picking a name for her aren’t we.”

He chuckled. “Come on, let’s go to dinner, then I’ll let you take some stress out on me.”

Liza laughed as she sat up. She smiled at Julian and let him pull her to feet. “You know, I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

“Why is that?” He pulled her into his arms.

“Because you know how to make me feel that way.” Liza planted a kiss on his lips.

*****

August 1
st

Liza sat with Julian, her legs bouncing as they waited for them to call her for her appointment. “I hate this.”

“I’m telling you, it’s not bad.” Julian kissed her head. “You’ll do fine.”

“They tried to talk me into going to a Yarrow Center therapist?” Liza shook her head. “Yeah – like I’d be able to tell their therapists about the job I do for their company.”

Julian smiled. “The therapists in this office are pretty good.”

Liza looked down at her hands. “Are you going to talk to Dr. Marcus about your drinking?”

“No, but I’m assuming you are.” Julian squeezed her hand. “I haven’t been drunk since the night before the ultrasound.”

“It doesn’t mean you haven’t wanted one.” Liza pursed her lips.

The door opened and a woman Liza’s age came into the waiting room. “Elizabeth Thomas.”

“I should start calling you Elizabeth.” Julian winked as she stood.

“Please don’t.” She shook her head and gave him a quick kiss before she followed the woman.

“Hi, I’m Lesley Hamilton. Nice to meet you.” She held out her hand to Liza.

Liza accepted the hand. “Liza Thomas.”

“Come on. I’m supposed to bring you to Dr. Marcus’ office when we’re done here. Was that your husband in the waiting room?” She opened the last door on the left and waited for Liza to go inside first. She shut the door and sat down at the desk.

Liza sat down on the couch across from Lesley. “Julian’s my boyfriend.”

“I’m not supposed to ask and if you’re not pregnant feel free to call me names, but how far along are you?” Lesley smiled.

“Twenty-one weeks and yes, Julian is the father of the baby.” Liza set her purse in her lap and folded her hands on top of it.

“Try and relax. I’m not scary and if I ask any questions you don’t feel comfortable answering, tell me.” Lesley faced her and held a clipboard in her hand. “I’m told you’re here by the request of your employer?”

Liza told Lesley about her time as a case manager and then related the story of what happened over the weekend and on Monday. “I understand why she did it. I mean, no one wants to get fired, but at the same time how could she lie to my face?”

“Could you do it?” Lesley bit her pen cap. “If you were in the wrong and Kate called you on it could you lie to save yourself?”

Liza straightened the books on the couch next to her. “I wouldn’t lie to save myself, but a part of me is so angry I wish I could. I’m an adult, adults own up to their mistakes and learn from them.”

“Does that include Julian?” Lesley shifted in her chair and raised her eyebrows.

“Yes and no. Julian’s different because of his issues, but at the same time I call him on his behavior . . . I won’t tolerate his bull shit.” Liza looked away. Yeah, Julian hurt her before, but it was due to his bipolar and alcoholic tendencies.

“What’s so different about him?”

“Aren’t we supposed to be talking about my job?” Liza looked away. She didn’t want to talk about Julian. She glanced down at her pregnant belly.

“Why wouldn’t you want to talk about Julian?”

“He’s bipolar. He can be difficult to live with at times, but he’s the highlight of my day. Seeing him makes me happy.”

“That’s nice to hear. It can be difficult to live with someone with a mental illness. Tell me more.”

Liza rested her head against the wall. “I love Julian. He’s a pain in my ass at times, and I love him but my understanding is this visit is about my job.”

Lesley smiled. “I’ll mark it down to talk about next time. Tell me what’s the worst part about your job?”

“Do I have to pick one?” Liza touched her index fingers together. “The long hours, the constant change, the pressure of making numbers when life happens. Being forced to answer your phone at all hours of the night so you don’t get written up.”