If You Only Knew (And Then Came Love Book 1) (25 page)

His traced his fingers down her side and pressed his hips against her.

“They’ll have to wait.” He smothered any protest she might make with his lips. Ice cold water hit his side and he jumped, pressing his hand against the wall so he didn’t fall. “Whoa!”

Liza moved out of his arms and stepped out of the tub. “Take a cold shower. I need to go.”

Julian shut off the shower and wiped the water off his face. “Wait, what?”

She turned to look at him, wrapping a towel around her body. “I love you, but last time I checked, I was the one who made my decisions.”

“I wasn’t—”

She cut him off. “You were. It’s not the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last.” She walked out of the bathroom.

“Liza.” He followed her. “I had a long night, I was just looking for—”

“Release right?” She pulled a pair of purple panties with pink lace on the sides out of her drawer. Sliding them on under her towel, she let it fall to the ground. She yanked a matching strapless bra from the drawer.

He couldn’t help but stare at her chest as she clasped the bra.

Liza snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Julian.”

“What?” He blinked, trying to bring his attention to what she was saying. He wanted her.

“Did you hear what I said?” She folded her arms across her chest, pushing her breasts up and enhancing her cleavage even more.

He groaned and reached for her.

She took a step back and turned to her closet.

“Evidently not.” She slithered her way into her dark wash blue jeans. “I said, did you consider me in the equation when you wanted release?”

“Well I had every intention of making sure you enjoyed it – have I ever not?”

“You don’t get it.” She threw her towel at him and donned a green spaghetti strapped tank top. She bent over and fluffed her breasts into place in her shirt. She stood, flipping her hair out of the way.

Her tits looked great in that shirt.

Julian wrapped the towel around his waist, not that it did any good, he could hang the towel off his cock. “You’re wearing something over that.”

“Excuse me?”

“Over the tank top. You will wear something over that.”

“Why?” She folded her arms across her chest again.

“You’re with me, Liza no one else—”

“Oh brother.” She grabbed a yellow sweater from her closet. “The only reason I’m bringing this is because I was going to wear it anyway. You and I are going to have some serious problems if you can’t remember I’m my own person.”+

“Liza, I—”

“Nope, I don’t want to hear about your two previous ex-wives. I’m not them.” Liza patted him on the shoulder as she walked by. “Have a good day. I’ll see you tonight.” She grabbed her purse and was out of the apartment before he could say anything else.

*****

Julian ended up at his parent’s house. He stopped to drop off a letter for his mother, only she wasn’t home.

His dad sat at the kitchen table reading the newspaper.

“Where’s Mom?” Julian paced the floor. He was still keyed up. He hadn’t taken his morning Adderall out of his pills, so he’d gotten a second dose a little sooner than he needed.

“She had a meeting for one of her charity things.” Everett folded his paper, put it on the table, and rested his hands on it.  

Julian shifted from foot to foot, he couldn’t stop moving as he tried to decide what to do next.

Everett pushed out the chair across from him with his foot. “Have a seat. And before we go any further, what are you on?” His eyes narrowed and Julian could tell he was thinking the worst.

“I overlapped my Adderall a little too close together.” He sat down in the chair, his legs bouncing.

“How close together?” His father leaned forward glancing at the time. “You should be taking your second dose around now.”

“I may have taken one in the middle of the night. Drew had a rough night—”

Everett held up his hand. “Let me guess, there was alcohol involved as well?”

“Dad, we split a six pack.
That's it. Period. Six fucking beers. Why the hell is everybody on my fucking case today? Jesus!
I’m thirty-three years old. I think I can make my own decisions.” Julian shook his head. It was a bad idea to come here. He should have left when he found out his mother wasn’t home.

“You’re an alcoholic and a recovering drug addict. Which part of a six pack of beer and extra prescription pills sounds like a good idea to you?” Everett rested his hands on the table. “Why do I get the feeling I’m going to end up sitting next to your hospital bed like I did when you were sixteen?”

“Dad, I’m not sixteen and I’m not snorting coke. I can leave if you don’t want to listen.” Julian’s knees bounced.

Everett let out a deep breath. “What happened?”

“I think I blew it with Liza again this morning.” He shook his head. Why was he telling his dad about this? Because he knew dad would understand.

“Oh yeah? What’d you do now?” Everett folded his arms, and rested them on the table.

Julian was certain he was looking forward to a good story. He related the scene from that morning. “I don’t know what I did. She said if I didn’t remember she was her own person we were going to have problems.”

“Well of course you are.” Everett let out a sigh. “Son, the only thing trying to control a woman is going to do is get you slapped.”

“I don’t want to control her.” Julian clenched his fists. Heaven forbid his father ever understood a fucking thing he said.

“You don’t? Because it sounds that way to me. You decided she could be late for work without taking her thoughts into consideration. You questioned the clothes she wore. She’s not there to be your puppet, Julian. She’s there because she loves you.”

Realization he’d been a chauvinistic pig hit him like a hammer to the head. “Damn.” He raked his hands through his hair, folding them at the back of his neck. “I don’t want her to be my puppet, Dad. I just thought . . . the shirt thing was a little disrespectful. She’s mine.”

“And if you keep that attitude up, she won’t be for long,” Everett warned. “You mother and I went through a phase where I did the same thing to her. It lasted about a week. And at the end of that week, she blew up. Reminded me she was still her own person and if she didn’t want to be with me, she wouldn’t be there. If I was going to continue to question her choices I could – well shove my opinions where the sun doesn’t shine.”

Julian chuckled. “Sounds like, Mom.”

“Exactly, and it sounds like Liza too. Your mom and I were married and had ten kids at the time. We were a little more committed than you and Liza. You may want to watch what you say, before she decides to leave your ass.”

Julian leaned back in the chair, taking everything in his father had told him. “What do I need to do?”

“Give her the respect she deserves, not only as the mother of your child, but as a human being. She can make her own decisions, Julian, she doesn’t need you to make them for her.”

“I guess I can see your point.”

“You guess?” Everett chuckled. “Shit, I remember a sixteen year old kid, running away from home, because he tried to demand respect he hadn’t earned. You and I fought like cats and dogs from the time you and Drew came home. You were so used to protecting yourself you couldn’t stand the thought of someone doing it for you.”

“We’ve been over this a hundred times.” Julian rolled his eyes.

“And you still don’t get it. If you did, you wouldn’t be treating Liza the way you are now. You and I fought because you couldn’t respect the rules I set to protect you.” Everett jabbed a finger into the table.

“Dad—”

“No, do you know how much it scared the shit out of me to get a call from the hospital saying my sixteen year old son was in there for a drug overdose?” Everett stood and began pacing the floor.

“Dad—”

Everett cut him off again. “And here you are, almost eighteen years later making the same stupid decisions you made then. You’re pushing your luck not following the doctor’s recommendations on your prescriptions and mixing them with alcohol.”

Julian bit his tongue. His dad subject hopped as much as he did. “How in the hell does this have anything do with Liza?”

“Because if you end up in the hospital again, you’ll have someone else worrying over you. Someone who doesn’t need the added stress. She’s pregnant, Julian. With your kid. Give her the respect she deserves and take care of yourself.” Everett stopped pacing, strode across the room, and placed his hand on Julian’s shoulder. “Son, I love you, but you need to be careful.”

Julian let out a deep breath and stood. Sometimes it took his father to hit him with a ton of mental bricks before things go through to him. “Thanks, Dad. I think I know what I need to do.”

“Good.” Everett nodded and motioned him over.

Julian stopped and took a step back. “You’re not going to smack me in the head are you?”

“Nope.” Everett opened his arms. “Just thought you might humor an old man and give your dad a hug.”

Julian laughed. “You’re not an old man.” He embraced his father.

“Much too old to have to deal with his son in the hospital over stupid decisions.” Everett sighed and rested his hand on Julian’s shoulder. “I love you, son.”

“Love you, too, Dad.”

“Go and make up with Liza.”

“She’s at work now. I’ll have to wait until she gets home.” He headed for the door.

“There is a thing called a phone — you could make use of it for the beginning of your apology.” Everett called after him.

Julian laughed as he waved at his dad. “I’ll catch you later.”

“Later.”

*****

Liza peered at the clock on the dashboard when she pulled into the apartment complex. 9:58 P.M. Julian was going to be livid, but she did it to prove a point. She finished her paperwork at the office, so she’d be late coming home. He’d called her twice and sent her a couple text messages, all of which she ignored.

She headed up to her apartment and opened the door to find him sitting on the couch.

“Good evening.” He twisted his body to look at her. “How was work?”

“Fine.” This was not the reaction she expected.

“Did you have an extra visit?”

There it was. He was itching to start a fight about her being home late. “No, I stayed to finish my paperwork.”

“Good.” Julian rubbed his neck and his leg bounced. He fought against saying something.

“What’s going on?” She stood in front of him.

“Nothing.” He didn’t meet her eyes, he looked anywhere but at her.

“Are you breaking up with me again?”  She stood straight, her feet shoulder width apart, and her arms crossed.

“No.” He met her gaze and then glanced away.

“Then why are you having a hard time looking at me?”

“Because I’m fighting asking you why the hell it took you two hours for you to make a forty-five minute trip home.” His voice was calm, but barely controlled.

Liza smiled, realizing she had the upper hand. She straddled his lap. “I’m surprised, you didn’t seem to catch on this morning.”

He let out a deep breath and lifted her off his lap.

“Hey!”

He placed her next to him, stood, and began to pace the floor.

She watched and a grin crossed her face.

He growled. “Damn it, Liza. Why the fuck did it take you two hours to get here? You didn’t answer my calls, you didn’t answer my texts! I was worried.”

“Worried something happened or worried I was screwing around on you?” She stretched her arms out over the back of the couch.

“I—” He sank onto the couch and buried his head in his hands.

She rested a hand on his shoulder. “I appreciate you trying to control your own emotions, rather than trying to control me. But you have to trust me, Julian.”

“I do trust you. I can’t stop the thoughts racing through my head sometimes.” He leaned his head against the couch.

Liza climbed into his lap again, wrapped her arms around him, and pressed a kiss to his lips. “If you need to get mad, if you need to say something, then do it. But don’t expect me to fall in line every time you say jump.”

“I guess now would be a terrible time to tell you I want you.” He ran his hand slowly down her back.

Liza whispered in his ear. “Sometimes there’s nothing wrong with taking charge.”

He chuckled, bringing his hands to her hips and flipping her on her back. He settled between her thighs and brushed the hair out of her face. “Woman, I love you.”

“I know.”

Julian grinned. “Is that a mirror in your pocket, baby?”

“What?”

“Because, I can see myself in your pants.”

Liza laughed. “Cocky aren’t you?”

“Let me show exactly how cocky I am.” He lifted her hips and she squealed until he pressed his lips to hers.

*****

May 6
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