Illumine (16 page)

"Quick, look for the smoke," I stage-whispered to Kayden

as she started to grin even bigger. "Or fire, just look for a big bal

of fire."

Running up to stand directly in front of Kayden she let her

smile spread wide enough to almost split her face into two. "The

Charon Carnival is this weekend, I say the four of us go. There's

got to be a huge chance for her to find her protector-thingy Leo

told me about." She turned over to me, the excitement so fierce on

her face it was like staring into the blinding sun. "What do you

say?"

I looked at Kayden, who seemed completely neutral on

the idea, to Ursula, who looked like an eccentricaly decorated hot

air baloon from her platinum blonde hair to shining blue eyes more

dazzling than sapphires. The idea of seeing the rich marble city

decorated like a big top circus sounded almost like a potentialy

favorite dream or a perfectly beautiful nightmare.

"Do I need to wear a costume?"

Both of them grinned.

Everything had been planned down for the weekend of the

carnival. Ursula made sure to stop by and give Jayson her sweetest

smile of innocence, and a little hint of her persuasion as she gushed

about how much fun we were going to have at her house over the

weekend. Jayson didn't need any further details and it gave me the

perfect cover to spend a night in Charon in a home owned by one

of Ursula's friends, sporting the perfect balcony to see the

fireworks display at midnight.

Kayden, Leo, and Ursula al had costumes from a smal

shop inside Charon for the occasion. Kayden had offered up

several of Ursula's previous outfits for the day, but I politely

declined once I saw the bare midriffs and abundance of crimson

and canary colored lace. I was stil short on an idea and the

weekend was approaching- fast.

Standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom two nights

before the carnival was to begin I pouted and examined my face.

Stil the same parchment colored skin, stil the same bottomless

brown eyes and short blonde hair. Twisting the ends of my hair, my

thoughts turned back to that fateful day in the boutique with Cassie.

Part of me wondered if the outcome would have been different had

I skipped the party like my instincts told me. Or if I ever would

have found out about just how damaged my mother was from my

father's actions if I hadn't moved back home.

My fingers traced around the edges of the white heart

pendant that hung from my neck. As if in response to my touch it

glowed with a sharp pulse of pure light. A light bulb went off in the

back of my head and I went for my closet, pushing aside my shirts

and jackets to reach a pink bag in the far corner. I unzipped the

bag and examined the layers of white organza, satin and peeking

bag and examined the layers of white organza, satin and peeking

hints of lace that made up my mother's wedding dress for the

marriage she never had with my father.

It was perfect for a carnival of the inhuman.

F O U R T E E N

Standing outside of the little bookshop Friday night,

Kayden and I waited for Leo and Ursula to meet up with us. The

temperature had dropped dramaticaly as the sun was far under the

horizon, the cold enough for little snowflakes to fal and dissolve

just as they touched the ground. In the empty expanse of land

around us, it was peaceful and calming.

Kayden let out a long-winded, irritated sigh. "We should

have al just rode in the same car. Or I could have flown us al

here. Why the need for separate vehicles?"

Normaly I would have told him to shut up, but even after

an hour with him I was stil unable to get over his outfit. He was

dressed in a skin-tight suit of rich satin, blood red and virgin white

made for a jester of the court, three pointed jingle hat and al. A

black star had been painted over each eye to act as his mask.

I opened my mouth to say something only to take one look

at him and break out in laughter al over again as I pictured him

trying to juggle and failing miserably. "I never knew a jester could

look so cute and so handsome al at once."

For a split second it looked like he could have blushed

under his dark skin. He seemed to be at a loss for words. "You,

uh, look nice too."

I looked down to my feet, my face growing hot. If only he

knew the hours of careful make-up and jewelry selecting I had

done. For a mask I had taken red lace and draped it over my eyes,

done. For a mask I had taken red lace and draped it over my eyes,

cutting out two smal holes and making sure to tie it in a neat bow

in the back. Against the creamy color of my skin and the white of

the dress it contrasted perfectly. I puled the black floor-length pea

coat across the front of my dress and let out a smal exhale.

Kayden's feet shifted closer. He had tilted his head down

to me, a smal smile dashing his painted red lips. "I mean it. It's very

fitting. You look, what's the word, regal."

"You're only saying that."

"I'm not," he said quietly. "I'd never lie to you about

something like that."

The honesty in his voice brought out a surge of confidence

in me I hadn't felt in weeks. I glanced up and down the road for

any sign of headlights before I locked eyes with Kayden. "I want

you to try something."

He raised an eyebrow in question, then gave me a once-

over. "You never realy took me for the kinky type, but I never say

no."

I punched him in the arm as hard as I could, sparks flying

off from the contact. "No, you idiot. Something else. But I'm going

to need your help." I bit on my lower lip as I thought of how to say

what was on my mind. "I...don't want to hurt you."

"I'm listening."

"I want you to kiss me," I blurted out a little faster than I'd

of liked. My face grew hot instantly and I turned my focus to one

of the jingle bels on his hat. "To see if I can control the fire inside.

That's al."

I had expected to hear him laugh, to mock me or cal me

I had expected to hear him laugh, to mock me or cal me

crazy. Instead he came close enough until I couldn't get away from

his eyes. The color had turned to a molten amber with swirls of the

onyx black I'd come to know as his favorite choice. "It's okay if

you burn me." He reached up gently and placed a finger under my

chin.

The fire was instant, flames spreading over his hand as if he

had dunked it in a bucket of gasoline and thrown a lit match onto it.

I stumbled back, careful not to dirty the dress on the damp, muddy

ground.

"I wasn't ready," I apologized. "Give me a second."

Kayden stepped back, waiting.

Eyes shut, I focused on my breathing, making sure to keep

it even. The burning sensation of the fire coiled inside, but it wasn't

volatile. I imagined extinguishing most of the flame and pictured

cool, refreshing air taking place inside of my chest. Inside I felt

lighter, calmer, like I could control it long enough to hold back the

flame.

Stepping forward, I came up to him and nodded. "I'm

ready."

He moved slow, eyes never leaving mine as he watched for

the tiniest change in my heart. His fingers grazed the edge of my

chin lightly, and when nothing happened he ran his fingers along my

cheek.

Inside my heart was pounding, thundering like a violent

wind storm. I leaned in closer and without thinking, pressed my lips

against his.

against his.

Everything stopped.

A heat different than anything I had ever felt before,

different than my personal fire bloomed to life, spreading a

comforting warmth to every inch of my body. His breath was

freezing where mine was scalding, the mixture creating a sensation

like no other to run through my veins and sing for mercy. Hands

that weren't mine encompassed my face and held me close to stop

me from running away. I flung my arms around his waist and

prayed he didn't dissolve into the smoky dust I'd come to know.

In the distance I heard a door slam shut, two excited

voices growing closer and closer.

Kayden's lips froze. He puled back with a sharp jolt,

staring at me with a look I couldn't quite place, like he was torn

between desire, longing and bitterness al at once. Eyes black a

coal, he turned away from me and walked up to the car to lean

against the frame. "Guess your experiment worked after al."

I nodded numbly, tasting the lingering sensation on my lips.

A cold and holow sensation settled into my bones, my skin aching

for another moment of his hands on my face. This wasn't right; I

wasn't supposed to like the man who had tried to attack me, who

showed me what kind of a monster I was. Yet here he was,

scrambling my brain into sily putty for the molding.

"Kayden, I-" I started to say when Ursula and Leo showed

up, each dressed for the show. Ursula had spun her hair into a tight

bun of curls piled high, smal ringlets hanging down and around her

face. Her dress was of a shimmering silver fabric that clung to her

every curve, a deep slit riding up to mid-thigh and exposing her

every curve, a deep slit riding up to mid-thigh and exposing her

thin, wilowy legs. She looked as ethereal as an angel should be,

something I could never achieve. Leo on the other hand stayed

very modest, sporting a standard black and white tuxedo with

black shoes, his hair slicked back.

He grinned as soon as he laid eyes on me. "Very classy."

"You look like a god-damn penguin," I replied with a

smirk, giving him a shove. Any form of tension that had lingered on

my mind before instantly vanished with his smile.

"Excuse me, are we going to go or just stand here in this

bitchin' cold and talk about how Leo looks like he's twelve in that

suit?" Ursula tapped her foot impatiently. "Leo, your keys."

"Alright, alright woman, I'm going," he muttered but winked

at her before opening the door. It was darker inside than out, dust

floating out into the nighttime sky as we shuffled in, doing our best

to avoid each other's feet and outfits. Past the library passageway

connecting Charon to the book shop in Maine and the library itself

was where it al realy began to unfold.

Outside the grand library it looked like a time warp had

taken place. The large cobblestone main street had been decorated

lavishly in handcrafted paper lanterns floating in mid-air, adding a

subtle glow to the shops that had each been decorated for the

event. Bakeries turned into makeshift pie stands, clothing stores

now had tailored ringmaster hats and dramatic costumes, and

carnival people wandered through the crowd to give smal demos

of juggling and sword swalowing. Off on the side streets sat rides,

from tea cups to mini-roler coasters, even a haunted house and

house of mirrors.

house of mirrors.

Kayden swiped a spool of cotton candy for me as the four

of us took our time down the main street, only to come to a halt

down at the end. Where the cul-de-sac had been before now

stood a big top unlike anything I had ever seen, it's red and white

stripes classic. A large arch made of twisted black iron held up a

banner showing an image of a big-top, lions and tigers, and clowns.

"Is this what we're seeing?" I asked excitedly, passing off

the cotton candy to Leo, who happily devoured the rest. "A circus

show?"

"No, we're here to eat Chinese and make out with the

bearded lady," Kayden roled his eyes but was obviously trying

hard not to smile. He inclined his head to the masses of people

behind us al making their way to the big top with the rest of us.

"That's what a circus is for, isn't it?"

"I would sure hope you're here for the show," someone

purred beside us. Serena was dressed in a tight corseted black top

laced with spider web grey strings and low-rise liquid black pants

that revealed an exposed midriff covered in delicate jewels glued to

her skin. Her hair had been puled into a tight bun behind her head

and her caramel eyes were surrounded by kohl smudging with rose

red painted lips. "You'l get to see me perform the act I've been

practicing for months." And with that she vanished behind the

curtain of the entrance.

We paid for our tickets and stepped inside. The big-top

looked nothing like a traditional circus and yet it looked every bit

like a step back to the 1920's. A bustling lobby with a ful coat

check, concession stand and roomy seating in hand-stained leather