In His Eyes (5 page)

Ellene’s chest tightened. “I can’t imagine what you went through.”

“It felt like punishment.” He lifted his hand as if to stop her thoughts. “Not having to raise Caitlin alone, but having Melissa die so young. I wasn’t the best husband in the world, Ellene. I—”

He stopped. She waited, her questions hanging on the threads of his words, but they seemed too personal to ask when he was apparently still grieving.

“Should we go back?” she asked.

“That’s what I’m here for,” he said, smiling as if he’d taken control of his emotion. “You go ahead, and I’ll follow you.”

He opened the door as she turned the key in the
ignition, but the heater’s warmth couldn’t hold back the pesky cold.

“Drive carefully,” he said, leaning back into the car. “Thanks for listening.” He closed the door and hurried toward his car.

Thanks for listening.
The poignant comment swelled in her chest like yeast in bread dough. Hearing his story, Ellene realized Connor had paid the price for any wrongdoing he’d done, if he’d done anything so wrong in the first place. Sorrow overwhelmed her.
Lord, help me to mend my ways and give me a kind heart toward him.

W
hen a thread of sunlight slipped beneath the window shade, Connor rolled over and covered his eyes from the morning. Yet today offered him a different feeling, a new hope. He eased upward and inched open his eyes to look at the clock sitting on the nightstand. Though it was too early to get up, he longed to slip into jeans and a long-sleeved knit shirt and run next door to see Ellene—to assure himself she was still there, that she hadn’t run off in the night or been only a hope-filled dream.

Though Ellene had refused the invitation to stay in his cottage, she’d accepted his aunt’s offer. Knowing his aunt, she’d probably talked Ellene to sleep, but he felt grateful she’d given her a bed and, in the scheme of things, had given Connor another chance to make amends for the past. Now if he could garner the courage to tell her the truth.

When Ellene had agreed to work with him on the cottage renovations, an amazing opportunity had arisen, and Connor had prayed that God give him a way to spend some quality time with her. He hadn’t considered an ice jam, but if that had been God’s means of answering his prayer, Connor whispered a thank-you.

He rose on one elbow and ran his other hand through his hair, wondering if Ellene might soften her attitude. Last night when they’d returned from the ferry landing, she’d eaten a little but left for Aunt Phyllis’s as fast as she could. He knew she wanted to avoid him, but Connor had other plans.

Connor gave up any further plans to sleep and pushed his hand against the mattress to hoist himself to a sitting position. He went to the window, lifted the shade and savored the morning. The new snow glinted from the ground, and across the channel the ice looked unyielding.

He bowed his head, praying that the ferry didn’t run today, either. Then feeling guilty, Connor dressed quickly and crept into the kitchen so as not to wake Caitlin.

Only a couple eggs were in the refrigerator. With the ferry service down, he guessed the store in town would be sold out of eggs by the time he reached it. He found some bacon, but bacon and what? He grinned, remembering he’d recently purchased a box of pancake mix. That could last them a few days, if need be.

After putting on the coffee, Connor returned to his room, showered and dressed in fresh clothes, then crept upstairs to Caitlin’s room and peeked inside. She lay curled into a ball, her tawny hair splayed across the pillow. Often he had assailed God for forcing him to be a single parent, but as always, seeing his daughter’s flushed cheeks, her eyes closed and still, he gave thanks for the blessing.

Sunlight spread across her floor through the loose blinds, and Connor knew it would only be a short time before the bright rays would beguile her from her bed. He hoped her mood today would be better than yesterday’s.

He returned to the kitchen and glanced through the side door toward his aunt’s house. He figured she would be awake, but he hated to phone in case Ellene was still sleeping. He wanted to run over to invite her to breakfast, but he didn’t want to leave Caitlin alone.

Disappointed, he turned from the door and spotted Caitlin standing by the staircase, rubbing her fists into her eyes. “The sun woke me up,” she said, dragging into the room and plopping onto the sofa.

He glanced at the doorway, wondering if he dare run next door, then stopped himself. A good father should care more for the well-being of his child than for impressing an old girlfriend with breakfast. “How about getting dressed so we can go to Aunt Phyllis’s for a minute.”

She shook her head. “Don’t want to.”

He watched her attitude surface like grease on water. “Caitlin. I want to invite Ellene over for breakfast.”

“She went home.”

“No. She had to come back because the ferry wasn’t running. You remember when Aunt Phyllis watched you while I went to find her?”

She nodded.

“Well, you fell asleep before we got back. I carried you up to bed.”

Her eyes widened. “Ellene came back?”

“She’s at Aunt Phyllis’s.”

“Why? She could have stayed with us.”

Her eyes searched his. “Because it’s not proper for a single woman to stay in the house with a single man.”

“I’m here. You never think I’m important.” She tossed herself back against the sofa.

“You’re the most important person in my life, Caitlin.” He walked to her and sat on the edge of the cushion beside her, but she drew away. “Please don’t be moody today. I invited Ellene to stay. She didn’t think it was proper. You should ask her.”

She perked up and eyed him. “She’s really next door?”

“She is. Get dressed and we’ll invite her to breakfast.”

Caitlin bounded from the seat and darted up the stairs while Connor filled a coffee cup and took a drink. The warm liquid radiated through him, banishing his skepticism with confidence. Ellene seemed
to work wonders on Caitlin. Maybe he could— He stopped himself. Wishes and longings led to disappointment. He wasn’t going there.

In moments, Caitlin’s footsteps pounded down the stairs. He grinned, seeing her flowery tights and striped shirt. She’d inherited his bad taste in color combinations, he feared. She grasped her jacket off the chair where she’d tossed it yesterday and slipped her arms into the sleeves as she headed for him. “Let’s go, Daddy. Where’s your coat?”

“You’re eager,” he said, trying not to grin at her enthusiasm. Connor found his jacket, slid it on and zipped the front. “Let’s go, speedy.”

“I’m not speedy,” Caitlin said, joining him at the door.

“You are when you want to be.”

The snow cracked beneath Connor’s feet as they broke through the icy crust. March. While most of the country was rejoicing in flower blossoms and leafing trees, he trudged across the frozen ground.

Caitlin walked beside him, her small feet slipping over the icy ridges as she grabbed his jacket for support.

“Careful,” Connor warned.

She only giggled and skidded ahead of him to his aunt’s door. She gave a knock then turned the knob and vanished inside before Connor caught up with her.

When he stepped inside, the warmth of the house struck him along with the scent of food. Pepper, his
aunt’s terrier, let out a yip and danced around his feet. He liked animals, but this one drove him to distraction.

Caitlin knelt and pulled the bouncing terrier into her arms while Connor slipped past. Disappointment rose as the smell of sausage let him know that he wouldn’t be making Ellene breakfast.

“Good morning,” he said, his gaze drifting past his aunt to look for Ellene.

“She’s in the bathroom,” she said.

He flinched, realizing he’d been too obvious. “I thought maybe she was still sleeping.”

“Nope. We’re about to have breakfast. I can toss in a couple more eggs if you haven’t eaten.”

“I made coffee. I thought I’d cook breakfast.”

“Too late. It’s cooked.” She tilted her head toward fluffy-looking eggs beside sausage popping in the frypan.

“I’ll have some scrambled eggs,” Caitlin said, before he could stop her.

“We’re having pancakes,” Connor said.

“I don’t want pancakes. I want to eat here with Ellene.”

He wanted to remind her that people didn’t always get what they wanted, but he saved his breath. Among the mixture of aromas, Connor didn’t smell coffee. He eyed the empty pot.

“I’m out of coffee. If you made some, why not bring it over while I throw in a couple more eggs.”

Connor’s attention shifted from Aunt Phyllis to
Caitlin. He let his own breakfast plans fade. Without a comment, he opened the door and stepped outside into the cold.

As the damp chill rolled up his spine, so did his concern. Connor’s old dreams were coming to life again when Ellene had stepped back into his world. And if she turned away from him, the cold rejection would be far worse than any winter storm.

He reached the cottage, grasped the coffeepot, and headed back, his mind rocked by confusion. Why had he allowed himself to think that he and Ellene could make amends and rekindle their old relationship? She’d hurt him once, and he’d rebounded with so much fervor, he’d changed his life. Except for Caitlin’s birth, he’d made a grave error.

When he opened the door, Connor sidestepped the dog trying to make an escape to the outside before he came to a halt.

Ellene sat at the kitchen table, dressed in a lilac knit top that belonged to his aunt. On her feet, she wore socks and a pair of his aunt’s slippers.

As he lifted his gaze, Ellene smiled. “I was not equipped for a sleepover.” She wiggled her feet showing off the big fuzzy footwear. “Any news on the ferry?”

“I haven’t heard, but I’ll call.”

“I checked,” Aunt Phyllis said. “Nothing. Not expected to run today.”

“But—”

“You can’t fight nature,” Aunt Phyllis said. “We’ll make the best out of it. It’s Sunday. After breakfast, we’ll have church.”

Connor felt his brow wrinkle. “Have church?”

“We can’t get over to our church in Algonac, can we?”

“No, but—”

“Did you ever hear the Lord add
but
to his sentences? Nope. You never did. We’ll worship right here.”

Connor gazed around the kitchen before his focus landed in the living room. Worship could happen anywhere, he supposed. “That’s fine as long as you don’t make us sing.”

Ellene lowered her head and covered her mouth as if hiding a grin.

“So, let’s eat.” Aunt Phyllis waved them to the chairs, and Connor did as he’d been told. He’d learned years ago that his aunt was difficult to sway when she had something on her mind.

Connor watched Ellene dig into the breakfast. She remained quiet, concentrating on her toast as she used it to push the eggs onto her fork.

He watched Caitlin follow Ellene’s every move as if entranced by the woman. He had to admit he was mesmerized himself, yet warnings zinged through his head like buckshot. Could he ever trust her again?

Aunt Phyllis chattered on about everything from past emergencies on the island to her oil bill, and finally she quieted.

She remained so quiet Connor felt nervous. “Is something bothering you, Aunt Phyllis?”

She sat a moment in silence, then shook her head. “Nothing important. I’m wondering how the oil will last if we’re holed up here for too long. The tank’s due a refill.”

“We won’t let you freeze.” But her comment triggered his own set of concerns. He’d already noticed he had only a few eggs. “Maybe I should get home and see what we need. I can take a run to the grocery in town before everyone else buys the place out.”

“After our worship, Connor. The store doesn’t open until noon on Sunday.”

He glanced at his watch, knowing she was right. Still he hesitated. He definitely needed to stock his pantry.

When breakfast ended, Ellene volunteered to clean the kitchen while his aunt retrieved her Bible. Connor carried dishes to the sink, but Ellene shook her head. “I’ll do this.”

He felt as if he’d been dismissed by her businesslike tone. If Ellene wanted to play hard to get, he could do the same. Connor strode into the living room and sank into an overstuffed chair.

Caitlin followed Aunt Phyllis from her bedroom, carrying her Bible and a small tape player. Connor did a double take. He’d been joking about the hymns, and now he wondered.

Soon Ellene entered the living room and settled
on the sofa. Caitlin skittered from her spot beside him and bounded to Ellene’s side.

Aunt Phyllis sat across from them, slid her legs on a footstool and opened the Bible. “Let’s begin with prayer,” she said.

Connor tried not to frown as he glanced at Ellene who’d already closed her eyes and folded her hands. He bowed his head and listened as his aunt prayed a blessing on their worship and on them.

When she’d finished, Connor raised his head and eyed his aunt. Although he appreciated her attempt to worship in their home, something prodded him to think she also had an ulterior motive. Was it the look on her face or the sparkle in her eye that gave her away?

“Today we’ll listen to the story of Jacob and his coat.” She flipped through the page, then adjusted the Bible.

Connor had never been a Bible scholar, but he knew that the story of Joseph went on for many chapters in the book of Genesis, and his mind grappled with her purpose in sharing this story since he knew Aunt Phyllis always had a purpose for everything.

“Genesis 37, verse 1,” she said, “‘Jacob lived in the land where his father had stayed, the land of Canaan. This is the account of Jacob. Joseph, a young man of seventeen, was tending the flocks with his brothers….’”

Connor leaned back, listening to the hum of his aunt’s voice as she read the story of Joseph’s dreams,
his brothers’ envy of his father’s love, symbolized by his ornamented robe, and how he was sold into slavery.

“Genesis, chapter 39,” Aunt Phyllis continued, “‘Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt.’”

Connor began to squirm. Then his knee began to jiggle, and he straightened it to control his movement. He looked at Ellene and though she was listening, he caught her in a large yawn. She covered her mouth and avoided his eyes.

Caitlin had settled back against the sofa pillow, her eyes weighted with glazed sleep.

The story continued as Joseph gained prominence in Pharaoh’s eyes by interpreting dreams that saved the land from the famine until Joseph was made in charge of the whole land. In chapter 42, Jacob sent Joseph’s brothers to Egypt to buy grain and each time they went before Joseph they were unaware that he was their brother.

Finally in chapter 45, Aunt Phyllis breathed a sigh and gazed at them. “Don’t fall asleep on me now, here’s the ending.”

Connor widened his eyes, hoping to look attentive and wondering why his aunt had chosen such a long reading from the Bible. When he looked at Ellene, her focus had shifted to the ceiling, and she was twirling a strand of hair between her fingers.

Aunt Phyllis lifted the Bible higher and continued. “‘Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your
brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you.’”