In His Eyes (14 page)

“Don’t tell
me
you’re sorry. Tell Connor. He’s a good man. He’s raising a child alone. He’s taking chances to make a good life for that little girl, and I think a man who’d do anything for his daughter’s happiness is more than a gentleman. He’s a king among men.”

A king among men.
Connor was that and more. “I’ll talk to him, Daddy. I’m seeing him this weekend at the cottage to go over the plans.”

Her father arched an eyebrow.

“I promise. I’ll talk with him. I don’t know if I can undo the damage, but I’ll try.”

He rose and walked around his desk, resting his hands on her shoulders. “That’s all I can ask. You’re a good daughter, Ellene. You just have to grow up a little.”

Though she was thirty, she figured her dad was right.

C
onnor stood outside holding the screen door and watching Caitlin dash toward Ellene, her arms open like the wings of a bird. His daughter needed to be freed from her loss, but Ellene had only added to it. He felt resentment, wondering what today would bring.

Plans for the cottage, he knew, but what else? He studied Ellene’s face as she approached him with Caitlin’s hand in hers. Instead of business attire, she wore dark blue slacks and a red top with the same color trim—two of the garments she’d bought from the shop in town.

Besides her outfit, she looked different in another way—assured, but not barricaded behind the aloof business attitude he’d come to dislike. She appeared relaxed, as if she knew who she was, and she liked herself.

She carried her briefcase and a long tube under her arm—the plans, he figured. He’d been anxious to turn the cottage into a home, but since Ellene had left, the warm feelings he’d had for the cottage had vanished. He felt isolated.

“Hi,” he said, walking toward her.

She smiled, a warm smile that held a message he was afraid to decipher. Since they’d been reunited, Ellene had jumped from one attitude to another. He suspected she wanted to rekindle their past relationship but feared the outcome. But why?

Connor longed for times to be the way they’d been before their breakup—so natural—a love so pure and innocent that he could only wince at the impossibility of it now. Too much had happened, too many ruts in life’s road, too many dreams shattered.

“I have your plans.” She raised the tube like a victory cheer.

“I can’t wait to see them,” he said, managing a smile, yet feeling on guard, waiting for the moment her business persona would take over.

Caitlin tugged at her arm. “Let’s go for a walk by the lake. You can see the ducks.”

Ellene caressed the child’s head. “I’d love to see the ducks, but your daddy and I—”

“We have work to do,” Connor said.

Caitlin scrunched her face and kicked at a stone.

Her behavior upset him, and he bent to her level and tilted her chin upward. “What did I tell you, Cait?”

She gave him an I-don’t-want-to-hear-this-again look, then lowered her eyes. “Okay,” she muttered.

He rose, disappointed in her attitude.

“Here’s an idea,” Ellene said. “After we look at the plans and talk a while, then we’ll go for a walk, okay?”

“Okay,” Caitlin said, an accepting look growing on her face.

Connor beckoned to Ellene and headed for the screen door.

“Daddy?”

He halted and faced Caitlin again.

She eyed him a moment as if testing the water. “Can I go play with Pepper for a while?”

A sigh escaped him. “If Aunt Phyllis doesn’t mind.”

“I’ll ask her,” she said, pivoting on her heel and skipping across the lawn.

“She’s back to her old ways,” Connor said, watching her vanish around the corner.

“You’ve spoiled her, I’m afraid. I know someone else like that, and it causes nothing but problems.”

She caught him by surprise, and he studied her face to see if he’d understood what she meant. “She is spoiled, I know. I’ve tried to please her every whim since Melissa died, and now it’s out of hand. She thinks the world revolves around her.”

“
Your
world does.”

He studied her a moment, realizing she was right.

She gave him a wan smile.

“I suppose that’s the problem,” he said.

“You can do a lot of things for her—protect her, support her, love her—but you can’t spoil her. That’s not doing her a favor, nor yourself. Discipline has to be firm but loving. I know. My dad’s learning that, too.”

This time Connor kicked at a stone, uncomfortable with her message. “You’re talking about yourself, I’m guessing.”

“I am.” She held up the blueprint. “But that’s another issue. Do you want to see these first?”

He preferred to talk first, curious as to what she had on her mind, but she looked so excited about the architect’s plans. “Let’s go.”

He pushed open the screen door and held it while Ellene walked inside. She headed for the dining-room table and dropped her case, then pulled the blueprint from the tube and spread it on the table. She waited a moment while he studied the print.

“What do you think?” She gestured to the floor plan.

He could tell she was pleased with the drawing, and he only wished he could concentrate on it and not on the unsaid things that raced through his mind.

He pulled out a chair and sat, gazing at the plan and trying to envision the rooms.

She pointed to the second-floor plan. “See, Caitlin’s room is larger. Here’s the closet space and bathroom, plus a large walk-in closet here for linens and storage.”

“I like that.” He shifted his focus to the other renovation—the new front room and screened porch.

She pointed to the details. “It’s like a sunroom with wide windows so you can look out to the channel, and there’s the window opening. It will have a wide ledge so you can pass dishes outside to the screened porch.”

“It’s nice,” he said, realizing he’d missed something important.

“You sound disappointed.”

“No. I like what I see here, but I just thought about the situation when the ferry service was closed. The cottage will still have only two bedrooms. And the downstairs bathroom is so small.”

She grinned. “I’m glad you agree.”

“Agree?” He saw a playful look on her face.

“What do you think about this?” She pulled another floor plan from beneath the original. Connor saw the dramatic change. She’d added a wing off the bath-and-bedroom hallway, adding another room and expanding the bathroom. “You thought of it all,” he said, admiring the plans, yet thinking of the added financing needed.

“I read your mind,” she said. “When I stayed here, I knew you were disturbed by the lack of sleeping space, and I wanted to surprise you. There’s even a large storage closet on this floor.” She pointed to the area. “I know it’s an added expense, but you’ll be surprised. This part won’t have a second floor so it’ll be less expensive than you might think.”

He looked into her eyes and knew it was time to talk. “Have a seat,” he said, motioning toward a chair.

She shifted the chair and sat near him.

“First, I’m really pleased with your work. When I told your dad I trusted your opinion, I meant that. You know my likes and my lifestyle.” He gave a wry smile. “All right, you
knew
them, but I still think you know me well enough to know my mind as you did with the addition.” He laid the estimates on the table.

“I’m glad you like it, Connor. It’s difficult working for a friend. It can cause problems.”

“No problems on this,” he said, pleased she’d admitted he was a friend, yet sensing she had more to say.

“Do you want to talk while we have a little privacy? Caitlin will be gone a while, I think, and I sense you have something on your mind.”

Her expression changed, and he noticed her discomfort.

“I do, Connor. I don’t even know where to begin. The problem is mine. So I’ll just ramble on and hope it makes sense to you.”

She began, and Connor listened. He’d heard much of it before, but this time he sensed something new and more profound.

Ellene seemed to relax after she’d talked for a while. “I told a friend of mine that the lamp of the soul is the eyes, and when I look into your eyes, I can see
your soul. You’re so honest, Connor. You shared so much with me. You trusted me, and I let you down.”

Her comment punched him like a boxer’s glove. He had told her most, but not everything, and if they were ever to make progress in their relationship, he needed to be totally honest. But each time they seemed to reach an understanding, something happened to send her off the deep end, and he feared if he told her the truth, it would happen again.

He lowered his head. “Let’s not go there, Ellene. It’s enough we’re making sense now.”

“No, I have to. My father reminded me of some things that I have to face. For one, I’m spoiled. I wanted the world to revolve around me, just like you said Caitlin thinks the world revolves around her. I was the center of my parents’ lives. My parents gave me everything I wanted, but it took me too long to learn that the real world doesn’t work that way.”

“Habits are hard to break.”

“They are, and I’m not perfect.”

“Really?” he said, sending her a teasing grin.

She ignored his humor. “But I hope I’ve grown a little. At least now I’m aware of it. In the past days, I’ve been looking back over the things I did to you, Connor—not just in the past, but recently. I showed you no respect, and it wasn’t because I don’t respect you, but to please my own ego.”

“If this is an apology, I accept it.”

“It’s more than an apology. God sees pride as a sin. I need to be forgiven—by you, God and myself.”

“You can count on at least two out of the three, Ellene. When you’re humble—and you have been— God honors you and forgives you. You know you have my forgiveness, but I can’t help you forgive yourself. You have to do that alone.”

She ran her palm along his arm, and her touch sparked his senses. “I’m working on that. And I realized something else. I’ve spent a lifetime waiting for you to apologize to me, and you have nothing to apologize for. You reacted as anyone would who’d been rebuffed by a fiancée. I hurt you to the core.”

“I could have tried harder.”

“You did, Connor. You called, and I wouldn’t talk. I played games with our relationship, just as you said, and you know what? I’m guessing our marriage would have failed. I wasn’t mature enough.”

Her words prickled down his arms. “What about now?”

Her eyes met his. “I hope I’m maturing, but only time will tell. I can give you this promise. What I’ve said is from my heart.”

Ellene’s gaze captured his, and he read so much in her eyes. He saw her move closer, and his pulse raced when she leaned across the table and cupped his jaw. Her mouth drew nearer, and he felt her lips caress his.

As naturally as sunshine, he laid his palm against her cheek, his other hand exploring the tendrils of her hair.

She eased her lips away, her words playing on his mouth. “That’s my promise,” she murmured. “I’m not playing lightly with your heart. I want us to learn to trust each other. For now, I’d love you to be my dearest friend.”

Connor wanted to be more than dearest friends, but that was a start. He leaned forward, brushing another kiss on her lips. “The dearest,” he agreed, hoping she understood. He kissed her again, then stood and drew her beside him. “Let’s get Caitlin. She’s been so anxious to spend time with you.”

“And so have I with her,” she said.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they headed out the door.

Connor studied Ellene’s face as she sat in his St. Clair Shores living room, amazed that three weeks had passed since their talk on the island. His confidence in their relationship had grown, and each day he shook his head, grateful that Ellene had been open with her feelings that day.

“I can’t believe how fast that crew is working. They’ve already—” Hearing a noise, Connor stopped in mid sentence. He rose from his chair and walked to the doorway leading to the kitchen. “They’ve already parked a huge Dumpster along side the house at the cottage,” he continued, heading back into the
room, “and the crew has torn down the partition between the upstairs rooms. It’s a big space.”

“I’m anxious to see it.” With a curious look, she glanced toward the doorway. “Hearing things?”

“I thought I heard the back door,” he said. “Caitlin should be home from school. Sometimes the knob doesn’t turn.”

“Soon you won’t have to worry about that doorknob.”

“I know. It’ll be so nice to get into the new house with everything working right.”

“How’s Caitlin handling the move? She seemed fine when I talked with her the other day.”

“She’s okay with everything when you’re around. You’re like a salve that makes things better.”

“It can’t be me.”

Connor shook his head. “Don’t kid yourself. Caitlin’s still moody. I’ve hoped she would get excited. Maybe she will when she sees what they’re doing to her room.”

Ellene brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. “I’m sure she will. She’ll love it.”

“I’ve asked her to start packing up some of her things so we can get them moved over to the cottage. A few things each trip will make it easier when the time comes. We have to be out of here in another week.”

“I can help, Connor. Tell me what to do.”

“You’ve already helped. I appreciate everything. Getting that crew out to the island so quickly shocked
me. I figured it would take until midsummer before they even got started.”

She grinned. “Not when the job’s a priority.”

“You did that for me?”

A wry smile lit her face. “No, Daddy did. He’s your fan.”

“And my partner.”

She shifted in the chair. “I know. That really upset me when I heard it. I blamed you—a kind of get-even vendetta, I thought—but I talked with my—”

“Ellene, I’m not the vendetta type. I’ve made lots of mistakes, but I’ve never hurt you on purpose.”

Her eyes flashed, and he guessed her thoughts.

“The problem with my marriage to Melissa was my fault. I didn’t use good sense. My sense of self-worth was nil. I hadn’t planned to hurt anyone. I still loved—”

She held up her hand to stop him. “I know. It’s the trust factor. I’ve had some problems with trust, but let’s get back to the partnership. I’m okay with it now.” She leaned forward. “So, how is the business?”

“Okay,” he said, unwinding his thoughts and forcing himself to answer her question. “It still needs work, but I think customers are noticing the difference. Tomorrow’s Saturday. How about coming to the island in the afternoon? You can see the cottage and I’ll show you around the store.”

A scowl settled on her face. “Are you sure you want me to? I seem to put my foot in my mouth.”

“I want you to, and let me allay your fears. I’m not going to be like Mr. Long, if that’s what you’re worrying about. I put a lot of hours and energy into this business, and it’s difficult with Caitlin. You know that.”