In The End (Butterfly #1) (15 page)

‘I’m going to be sick.’ The world was spinning; I was retching until there was nothing left. Nicholi, trying desperately to calm me, seeking answers, lifted me into his arms and carried me to the house, up the stairs onto the bed. I was an observer rather than a participant, the haunting memory of what I had seen indelible across my eyes.

‘Baby, please, say something, anything.’ Nicholi stroked my face, kissing my head.

‘My father, he took me hiking, in those woods, I saw you playing ball with Cross. I went to find my father, he was kissing another woman.’ I paused to face him. ‘It was Larissa.’ The astonishment on his face followed by sheer bitterness reverberated throughout the room, here was the woman who had desired his father that much she destroyed his family then went onto her next conquest, mine.

‘How old were you?’ he asked, his mind working overtime.

‘Around eight, you looked straight at me in my hiding spot, do you remember?’ Not sure why it mattered at this point.

‘So I would have been around twelve. That was the summer I...’ Nicholi paused, processing, the cogs churning everything around in his head. Taking my hand in his, he began.

‘I do remember, you had your hair in pigtails with blue ribbons, one had come loose and snagged on the tree when you ran away. I thought you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.’ Standing up, he hesitated. ‘Wait there.’ He returned shortly after carrying something in his hand, a wooden box with NFL stickers covering it. He opened it up removing various sport cards, and at the bottom, the blue ribbon lay, slightly faded with time, but otherwise just as I remembered it, a horse motif embossed on the other side.

‘My ribbon.’ I reached, stroking the satin fibre through my fingers.

‘I ran after you, but you were too fast, I took the ribbon hoping you would come back for it some day and you did.’ Nicholi pulled me closer, his breathing rapid, leaning in to stroke my cheek. ‘I loved you from the very first time I saw you.’ My heart fluttered, and I knew he was right, we were destined to be together, I couldn’t imagine a second of life without him, reaching my arms around his neck, I pulled him closer, our lips meeting for the first time in weeks and it was explosive. My pulse was racing, my body arching, longing to have him inside me. Our clothes were stripped within seconds, Nicholi slowed the pace to tempt tease and pleasure me, leaving me calling his name, the longing too much to bear when he entered me, coming together with an explosive crescendo.

I lay in his arms, our limbs nestled against each other’s bodies, in silence, both lost in our own musings, letting my hand wander down I stroked and caressed, kissing him all over before he was pulling me on top, my legs straddling either side of him. Our rhythm was in perfect time until once again we succumbed to the pleasure, falling asleep wrapped in each other’s arms, completely impenetrable.

Nicholi had arranged with his mother to keep the boys overnight, so we could decorate the house ready for the party tomorrow and surprise the boys when I would collect them from school. The rest of the early evening was spent eating, watching a movie and returning to the bedroom, our desire for each other endless.

Nicholi had run me a bath, and I lay inside, the strawberry vanilla-scented bubble bath enveloping the room, when he joined me in the bathtub, my skin tingling with the proximity of him, my memory embossed with every caress, never to be forgotten. I had purposely pushed all the new revelations to the back of my mind until now, just wanting to cherish the time alone with Nicholi. I was broken from my reverie by the sound of Nicholi’s sensual husky voice.

‘What are you thinking?’ He stroked my arm, making me lose any coherency.

‘You’re driving me crazy.’ I giggled, stealing a kiss. ‘I need to talk to you, can we go downstairs?’ I asked, knowing that anywhere there was a bed we would inevitably end up in it.

The past three weeks since Cross had been attacked all I had done was think, process and accept. I loved both of them, but knew and had always known truly whom I was meant to be with, I just needed to lay it all out and hope that they still wanted me too.

After exiting the bath and getting dressed, both Nicholi, and I sat in the room I had first entered for my job interview, the picture over the fireplace still making me cringe as I enjoyed the seat the luxurious sofa offered. Nicholi was sitting opposite just as he had done in the interview, smiling, but looking apprehensive at the same time. I took a deep breath to steady myself.

‘I have been thinking non-stop about everything and I wanted to share them with you if that’s okay?’ I clarified, suddenly feeling very formal.

‘Of course, please go ahead.’ Nicholi relaxed slightly in his seat and took a sip of the bottled water I had grabbed from the kitchen.

‘Our whole relationship has been based on half-truths and lies, so much to the point that I think we have both come to accept it as the norm, and it really shouldn’t be that way. Not only that, but you giving me permission to see if I have a future with Cross is completely crazy. You don’t deserve that, you deserve a girlfriend who is devoted to you, shares your hopes and dreams for the future and knows without a shadow of a doubt that you’re the one for her.’ Nicholi was looking more and more uncomfortable by the second, but he needed to hear this, he deserved this.

‘When I found out Cross was Lucas, it felt like an evil trick had been played on me, here on one hand I have this amazing guy that I had started to plan my future with, and on the other my first love who I had shared everything with for two years.’ He was hardly breathing, I needed to hurry and get to the point, not wanting to cause any further hurt, I tried to sum it up. ‘What I’m trying to say, badly, is that both Cross and I know, deep down that we can’t go back, things have changed and you can’t change it back, I’m not the same person I was back then and neither is he. Maybe that would always have happened, who knows, but I cannot live with what ifs. I have a child to support and nurture and he needs stability to grow. Oh god, this is all coming out terrible.’ I got up and cleared my voice, kneeling down in front of him and taking his hand in mine, looking deeply into his eyes I closed mine and pictured my sister. She was so wise for such a young girl and I never gave her the credit, I know she would be smiling now and I opened my eyes.

‘Nicholi Veneto, will you marry me?’ My heart was pounding, cheeks flushed, and hands shaking. He did not say anything for what seemed like an eternity. A tear slowly formed in his eye before it broke free and trickled over his nose.

‘I have always known, without question, that I loved you deeply.’ He kept hold of my hand, but the expression on his face made me suddenly very self-conscious and nervous. ‘No, not like this.’ My heart sank as he shook his head. ‘Let’s go.’ Nicholi pulled me up off the floor and out the front door to retrieve the car. He opened the door for me without speaking and I sat in the seat, trying desperately to halt the bombardment of tears building in my eyes. He had said no. Anyone would say it was the least I deserved, and they were right. Why had I thought I could fix everything so easily? No, this was defeatist talk; no matter how long it took, I would earn the right to be with Nicholi.

He pulled the car over and I looked out the window confused; where were we? The blackness all around was staggering, the air frigid and my body chilled to the marrow as he led me from the car through a clearing. The night was perfect for stargazing, not a cloud in sight and as we had driven to god knows where; there were no city lights to obscure it. He stopped abruptly and turned to face me.

‘I fell in love with you the moment you stepped into my home and sat on my sofa, legs dangling, you were so goofy and out of your comfort zone yet were my perfect fit. I have never met anyone who challenged me, drove me crazy and loved me the way you have. We have been through the worst torture anyone could be put under, but through it all, always found our way back to each other and as I look up now.’ I followed his eyes to the stars glinting down above us, our witnesses through it all. ‘I can see the magical uniqueness that was created from mere dust and gas. If that beauty can manifest from such simple compounds then nothing is impossible. I give you myself as one ingredient and if you can do the same, truly and with an open heart then I know the creation we can make together will rival anything known to man.’

I gasped as he pulled out a box from his pocket. He got down on one knee and opened it.

‘With the stars as my witness, I vow with my whole being to love, cherish, honour and protect you forever, will you Sophia Nichols, Lexi Caitlan Thomas, marry me?’ My heart was leaping in my chest, I felt weightless, floating in the stars, marvelling at what they had brought me, Nicholi.

The ring was the most beautiful item of jewellery I had ever seen. The band was platinum with two halves of a diamond heart joined together fused by stones of sapphire, blue topaz and pearls.

‘I never thought I would find love, did not deserve to, yet here you are loving me each and every day despite everything, with a true heart. It would be my honour to marry you and become the wife you truly deserve. Yes,’ I near screamed, finally complete. Nicholi slipped the ring on my finger with ease, kissing me gently at first until our passion for each other exploded and we made love under the stars, sealing ourselves to each other forever.

We arrived home several hours later and set to decorate the house with the myriad of decorations, lights and special effects I had purchased for the party. Music blared from the CD player as we strategically placed, primped and perfected the true haunted house scene. Every now and then, we would look at each other, in symmetry, our hearts, minds and souls as one.

With the house looking as spectacular inside as it did out, Nicholi sat with me as I wrote to Cross, just as we always had. I bared my soul to him, holding nothing back and after hitting send reached for Nicholi, wrapping myself in his love.

Since the attack Cross and I had spent every day together, reminiscing about the past and sharing his future plans. He had been offered the position he interviewed for and since the first time I had met him looked truly happy. We both knew that the love we had for each other would never leave, but at the same time we were different people, time had melded us into a shape that could not fit together cohesively, and slowly we were moving on with our lives.

My father had appealed against the exhumation of my family’s grave and as soon as Cross was released from hospital he assured me that we would file again, nothing was going to stop him and with my confidence building, restoring each and every day Nicholi loved me, I knew what I had to do.

‘Nic, I am ready to tell Jacob.’ I was petrified how he would react and torn up how it may hurt him, knowing that I would do everything in my power to protect him, as an aunt should, the time was right.

‘I know you are scared for his reaction but, Sophia, knowing how much he loves you already, you will be making his dreams come true.’ Nicholi held me tighter, feeling his heartbeat against my face, my body reacting in his embrace, wanting more. I got up, there was more to discuss.

‘I want to confront my father about Larissa.’ Pacing the office, my mind racing. She had been released without charge due to lack of evidence and the charges against Nicholi’s grandfather were still being investigated. It was all moving too slowly for me and every day they were out of jail, I feared for the safety of the ones I loved. Nicholi had filed injunctions against them all banning any contact with us, ramping up further the security of the house, but I still worried.

‘I think it’s time for bed,’ Nicholi announced stretching and yawning. I abruptly stopped pacing and turned.

‘I’m not tired,’ I corrected, a teasing smile spreading across my face.

‘Oh really, have anything in mind?’ he replied, his voice husky and seductive.

‘Maybe, come see,’ I goaded and ran as fast as I could through the hall and up the stairs. Nicholi caught up with me and scooped me into his arms, launching us both onto the bed, our bodies aching for each other. The phone ringing interrupted us and I scowled as Nicholi answered, noting the time my stomach turned. The conversation was one-sided with Nicholi just acknowledging what was being said before hanging up the phone, his face grim and defeated.

‘What is it, what happened?’ Nicholi pulled me back into his arms, shaking with rage,

‘He is dead, my grandfather is dead.’ The colour had completely drained from his face replaced with anger, slowly erupting. I was silent, lost in my own demon battle; no one was going to pay for what they had done to my family.

For the longest time we sat in silence, the rain pelting on the windows, washing away any hope of retribution.

‘I am so sorry, Sophia.’ Nicholi was the first to break the silence.

‘Don’t please, it is not your fault, he will be rotting in hell and that is so much better than him being alive and able to cause further harm.’ I lay down, resting my head on Nicholi’s chest, the sound of the rain lulling me deeper and deeper until sleep overtook.

The shrill of the alarm beckoned me back from my slumber, my body fighting, needing more until I felt Nicholi stir, reaching to stop the deafening noise.

‘Morning, Mrs Veneto.’ His soothing voice rang out, making me smile from ear to ear.

‘Good morning, Mr Veneto,’ I replied, stretching, and untying my hair, letting it flow freely, having fallen asleep with it still in a bun. ‘What’s on the agenda for today?’ I questioned, puzzled by his expression.

‘Well when you look like that, there is only one thing I can think of,’ he mused, pulling me back down and awakening me the only way anyone should be.

After showering and getting dressed, I re-joined Nicholi in the kitchen. Earl, having created a feast, was surveying the decorations we had recently installed.

‘What do you think, Earl, scary?’ I asked as he glanced at the cobwebs hanging from the ceiling, generating a frown.

‘Interesting indeed, Miss Nichols, I’m sure it will be a splendid affair,’ he tittered, though I thought I caught a smile when the giant spider launched through the doorway upon him entering the kitchen.

‘Do you have to go to work today?’ I moaned, pouting, knowing full well he did and not wanting to be away from him even for a few hours.

‘Sadly yes, why don’t you go shopping, that card I gave you hasn’t been touched and you deserve to treat yourself.’ I grimaced at the mention of the card and Nicholi started laughing.

‘Seriously, baby, you’re going to have to get over this hatred of all things plastic. We are going to be married soon and everything I have will be yours, not that it is not already. Please splurge, if it makes you feel better, buy me a gift too.’ He knew exactly what to say to make it less painful for me and with that in mind my eyes brightened.

‘I have been planning for Jacob and Max’s room too so I could get some supplies while I shop for you.’ I was getting more excited by the second.

‘Make sure you shop for yourself too though, Sophia, we will have a few events to attend and it will be helpful to have some options available.’ Knowing how meagre my closet was I knew he was right, but still did not feel comfortable and he sensed it.

‘Think of it as a business expense, schmoozing with architects and engineers isn’t exactly a leisure activity so if you think of it as work and gathering items for that, it’s easier to digest.’ I still did not like it, but knowing that my salary after paying the debts I had, did not allow for such fineries as would be required, I had no choice.

‘What are your plans for the boys’ room?’ He changed the subject and my face brightened again. I showed him the drawings I had made, and he studied them carefully in silence.

‘If you don’t like it I can make adjustments.’ I took the silence for disapproval.

‘Sophia, these are amazing, I never realised you could draw like this. Change of plan, you’re coming to the office with me and then I will take you shopping after, it’s the only way to ensure you buy anything for yourself at all,’ he teased, pulling me to stand and kissing me longingly, the fire building to explosion level when Earl returning to the room with the mail interrupted us.

‘I beg your pardon, sir; an official gentleman just brought these documents for you.’ Clearly not used to such overt affection on public display, Earl skittered away at speed.

Nicholi opened the letters, one a new court date for Max’s custody hearing, the last having to be postponed with Cross in hospital, and the other an appointment for the reading of Nicholi’s grandfather’s last will and testament. The bomb Nicholi was about to drop, I would never have foreseen.

‘They want both of us to attend.’ Bitterness emanated from his words.

‘They, what, why?’ I was perplexed, but deep down fear was brewing.

‘I have no idea; seemingly even from his grave he is still playing games. Let’s not think about this now, we need to get going, we can talk later, okay?’ Taking my hand in his, he kissed my fingers each one in turn.

‘Sure, I’m excited to see your work,’ I confessed, to be honest, Nicholi could make watching paint dry fun in his presence.

We drove to his offices in relative silence, him stroking his fingers against mine, the music, Thirty Seconds to Mars blaring with the song
The Kill
echoing through my memory; I used to dance to this. It was a distant memory yet my feet itched to wear those old ragged ballet slippers and pirouette around the room.

‘Lost in thought?’ he asked, stroking his fingers down the side of my face, my heart suddenly thundering in response to his touch.

‘I was just thinking of dancing,’ I mumbled, biting the corner of my cheek a little too hard as the memories of the last time I had danced came flooding back.

‘I would love to see you dance again one day,’ he replied, kissing my cheek as we walked hand in hand to the elevator. I sighed as he pushed the call button, would I ever dance again? It seemed so dishonourable to their memory, thinking about it even a little.

The elevator door opened, and I instantly felt the sparks flying and reverberating around the enclosed space. I saw Nicholi smirk out of the corner of my eye before he pulled me into his arms and our lips met, the intensity of our kiss making me moan for more. We arrived at our floor much too quickly for my liking, Nicholi released me reluctantly with a concupiscent expression on his face. He clearly was enjoying himself as much as I was.

After signing in at reception and obtaining my visitor badge that Nicholi affectionately clipped onto my shirt, lingering just a little too long in the process, one of his managers passed us, stopping to exchange pleasantries and Nicholi escorted me into the conference room.

‘Just sit here and when I ask you for the number just say fifty, okay?’ he explained with an endearing expression on his face. I never had chance to question further as the meeting was brought to order.

‘Ladies, gentlemen, I trust you have all had the opportunity to peruse the plans and are ready to discuss phase two?’ He was so authoritative I sank a little in my chair. The room was filled with fellow engineers, architects and others that I had no clue what their job was. I was trying to focus as they discussed the materials and building code plans, but felt my eyes drifting over to Nicholi, not believing he was truly mine. I was awoken from my reverie by the sound of my name and Nicholi’s voice.

‘I would like you all to meet my fiancée, Sophia; she will be doing the interior design for the project.’ I was stunned, initially by the word fiancée, my heart melted, but then I would be doing what?

‘What was the number you were thinking of, Sophia, for the work?’ He smiled at me and I forgot to breathe.

‘Eh, fifty,’ I mumbled, the stark realisation of what he had said slowly dripping through my subconscious.

‘Excellent,’ a voice piped up from the front. ‘We look forward to working with you, my dear.’ The oldest member of the meeting addressed me, mid-forties, developing a little dust of grey around his ears, a small smile emerging across his face before he rose and the meeting was adjourned.

‘What was that about?’ Anger was slowly bubbling up in my chest, what had I just agreed to?

‘Come.’ Nicholi gestured, taking my hand and leading me into his office. He closed the door and turned to face me.

‘This is an opportunity for you to pay off all your debts and then some, doesn’t that sound good?’ he questioned, stroking his fingers across my cheek, along my lips making me lose any connection with my thought train. ‘You’re so sexy when you pout.’ His voice was husky and seductive.

‘Stop.’ I took a step back, almost tripping over the leg of the ornamental sphere that was behind me, Nicholi grabbed my hand, stopping me from falling.

‘What a stupid place to put that,’ I voiced, blushing crimson and cursing my lack of spatial awareness whenever Nicholi was around.

‘See, you need to do this, cannot have the guests tripping over misplaced furniture, can we.’ I scowled at him and he gave me his most alluring smile, making me forget why I was even mad to begin with.

‘You really think I can do this?’ My self-confidence had always been low, my sister was the bubbly, fearless one, and I was the wallflower, sitting in the corner watching everyone else.

‘I know you can.’ I sighed picked up the pencil, toying with it in my hand. I took a deep breath and put pencil to paper. I could see Nicholi casting glances in the corner of my eye in between numerous phone calls and tried to focus. Letting my mind wander I pictured myself in the hotel on the winter floor, my thoughts ebbing and flowing with the drawing utensils.

‘I’m done, now please be honest and not just because you’re my boyfriend.’              

‘Fiancé,’ Nicholi corrected, and I felt my face blush, would I ever get used to how longingly he looked at me, plain old me.

‘What do you think?’ He had been staring at the drawings for the longest time as I stood in place, my fingers knotting together in anticipation.

‘I think you’re the most beautiful, talented and fascinating woman I have ever met and I cannot believe you’re mine.’ Pulling me onto his lap, stroking my face, his fingers traced the outline before we hungrily reached for one another. His secretary interrupted our embrace, confirming Nicholi’s next appointment was waiting.

‘Baby, we just need to meet these people and then we can head over to the mall,’ he confirmed, leaving me on his chair while he opened the door to greet his guests.

‘Sophia, this is Mr Lee and Mr Gardner.’ Two burly looking men sauntered in, clearly military, I would know from a mile away. ‘They are going to be working with us from now on.’ They what? Very confused, I watched as Nicholi handed them each a file and requested one man to drive us to the mall, the other was to wait at the house. As soon as they left Nicholi turned to me, acting as though this was an everyday occurrence, being escorted by Rangers.