In the Mix (31 page)

Just then, Linz walks through the door. As soon as she sees me, her face beams with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen in my life.
Damn it.
“Hi, Ceese!”

“Hey, Linz.” I smile back. I just want to forget the whole thing. I can’t though.

“Do we have a busy day today?” she asks as she heads into the back to put her coat and stuff away.

“We have a few on the schedule today,” I answer then blow out a big puff of air that I let quiver my lips. Eww . . . what? You know what I mean, right? If not, too fucking bad. I don’t have time to sit around here, drawing you diagrams and shit.

“Who’s coming in today?” Linz brings my attention back to her.

“Uh . . . some newbies. Hey, listen. We need to talk.”

“Oh no, you’re not cutting more of my hours, are you?” she asks and seems to be on the verge of crying.

“No.” I answer quickly. “However, I realize that your fear of that happening has inspired you to do something you really shouldn’t have.” I give her the “eye.” Only . . . I’m not so sure she speaks “eye.” It’s really uncomfortable when you run into people who don’t speak your language.

“What do you mean, CiCi?”

“Lindsay, I know that you took some of my bills to put money towards them,” I say as calmly as possible. Her eyes immediately tear up.

“I just wanted to help. You’re my best friend. I didn’t want to lose you.” She wipes at her tears.

I grab her arms lightly. “I want you to listen to me right now. You will
never
lose me. I really appreciate what you were trying to do, Linz, honestly I do. I need you to understand, though, that what you did, good deed aside, was wrong. You can’t take someone else’s bills without them knowing and pay them. You’re violating that person’s privacy. That’s what you did to me. I understand why, but you need to understand that it wasn’t right or your place to do so.” Rant done.

“I’m sorry, CiCi.” Her chin quivers. “Am I fired?”

“God, no! I just wanted you to understand why your decision to help me wasn’t maybe the best way to go about things. Do you get it?” I sort of cringe. I’m not sure if what I’m saying is actually sinking in. I kind of take for granted that I treat Lindsay like a normal person every day. Sometimes I even forget that she has downs syndrome and I certainly don’t know her capacity of understanding certain things.

“I do. I’m sorry if I upset you, Ceese.” She hugs me.

“Alright, enough of this now, let’s get ready for our clients.” I push back a little, smiling at her.

“Okay, boss!” she says and I can tell all of her usual excitement has returned. I’m glad.

“Are you ready to get some real thrusting,” Kyle bellows out as soon as he walks through the door. I can hear him as he goes through the house calling for me, and finally finds me sitting at the dining room table. “Ceese? What’s wrong, sweetie?” He quickly kneels in front of me and wipes my tears away.

“Addie died today. Cancer. I didn’t even know.” I say, feeling like I’m in a trance.

“Oh God, sweetie, I’m so sorry. Was she a dog you groomed?”

“What?”

“Was she one of the dogs you groomed?”

“No. She was a friend. She ran the shelter. A family member called the shelter to let them know. The new girl, Megan, called me. She’s the one I do the groom-a-thon for. Pearl is her dog. Oh, Pearl. What are they going to do with Pearl?” I start to sob.

“Give me numbers. I will get all the info you need.” He pulls a pad out of his briefcase. I nod and give him the only number I have.

“Can we take Pearl if she doesn’t have a home?” I ask. I’m not sure why I’m asking him but it just seems right.

“Absolutely. Anything you want, beautiful.” He kisses me then grabs the pad and gets out his phone. And just like that—he’s on it.

I love him.

Shut up . . . I’m distressed.

She looked tired.
Why didn’t she tell me? Did I hug her back the last time she hugged me? Did I? Why don’t I want to hug people? Did I hug her? Oh God, I can’t remember!

“Ceese, I got as much info as they have now. I did find out that you are mentioned in her will.” He kneels in front of me.

“What?! Why?” This is too much.

“I don’t know, Birkita. You need to be strong.” He kisses me. “Pearl is with her family right now,” he adds.

“Don’t go to Spain,” I say it before I even try to correct the thought.

“Oh, Ceese, honey, I have to.” He rubs my arms up and down.
Honey?
That’s a new one.

“I need you. Please don’t go.” I start to cry. The thought of him leaving, for God knows how long, is just too much for me right now.

“I have to go. Please understand that I
want
to stay here with you. I’m doing this so I don’t have to leave you much in the future,” he pleads.

“I. Need. You!” I say forcefully.

“I’ll see if I can postpone, is that okay?”

I just nod my head and start crying again before I lay it down on his shoulder.

“First, let’s get something to eat in you. Then, I’m going to draw you a nice, hot bath.” He kisses my head.

“I tried to take something out to make for dinner but you have all kinds of codes on the packages in the freezer. I didn’t understand them so I didn’t take anything out.”

“Codes?”

“Yes. You have codes written on the packages.” I repeat. He starts laughing. “What?”

“Oh, beautiful, those aren’t codes,” he continues to laugh. “They’re dates.”

“No. They start out with zeros.” I try to correct him.

“Yes, I put zeros in front of single numbers.”

“So, pizza?” I ask. I don’t understand the point of putting a zero first and I’m too wiped to inquire about it.

“That’s fine.” He smiles at me.

The doorbell rings.

“Damn, that was quick. I didn’t even order yet!”

“Shit! That would be your nephews and niece.” He rubs the back of his neck before heading to the door. “Charlotte has an appointment tonight. Mitch is going with her and your mom is too wiped out today. I told them we would watch the kids.” He opens the front door.

“Aunt CiCi! I here!” Brooklynn comes barreling towards me. I scoop her up onto my lap.

“Uncle Kyle, do you have a play station?” Brogan asks as he takes his coat off.

Uncle—fucking—Kyle?

I hone in on Kyle’s face—he’s beaming. I’m trying really hard to breathe through this, right now. But I’m starting to get the cold sweats you get right before you get the shits. “Broge, why are you calling him that? He’s not your uncle.” I ask him casually (well, I try) as he walks into the dining room.

“He’s Mitch’s best friend so Mom said he’s our uncle now.” He shrugs. Shit. I didn’t even think of that. In my family, we always respect close family friends with the title of aunt or uncle. I wish I had thought of that before I said anything. I caught Kyle’s face as Brogan was answering me. Let’s just say it was a mixture of disappointment and anger covered up by a whole big pile of “let’s just act like that shit didn’t bother me.”

I bounce Brooklynn on my lap, making her laugh and direct my attention towards Bennett, who’s just walked in. “Benny . . . what’s the matter, bud?” I reach out my hand to him.

“I don’t wanna eat here!” he cries as he comes in for a hug.

“Why?”

“Cuz’ I don’t like it here,” he continues.

“Honey, you’ve never been here before.” I try to soothe him. It’s hard with Bennett. You never know how he’s going to accept change. Sometimes we anticipate a big blowout and nothing happens and other times, we think it will be fine and we end up consoling him for hours. “You know what?”

“What?”

“Uncle Kyle and I were just getting ready to order pizza and we will get it from your favorite place, okay?” As I say it, I notice Kyle do a quick roll of his eyes.

“Where are your parents, bud?” he asks Broge.

“We’re here, we’re here! Sorry!” Charley rushes in. “Where’s your bathroom, Kyle?” You can hear the urgency in her voice. I swear my sister has to pee ten times more than the normal amount a pregnant women needs to. She should just live in the bathroom when she’s pregnant.

“Go down the hall here and it’s the first one on your right.” He points.

“Thanks!” She rushes past him.

“Don’t dawdle!” Mitch yells after her as he steps into the house. “Sorry, man, I got a little tongue-tied.” Mitch waggles his eyebrows at Kyle.

“Hey, kids, why don’t you go into the media room and put on some TV. We’ll be right in.”

“A media room? Cool, where is it?”

“Go through the living room there and you’ll see double doors. It’s through there.” Kyle gives him the info and I put Brooklynn down so she can run after the boys.

“Kyle, since Mitch is here, do you want to ask him about Spain?”

“What about Spain?” Mitch asks as he jerks his head around like he’s looking for something.

“Nothing. What are you looking for?” Kyle jerks his head with him. I’d sit here and laugh at these two douchebags but I’m still trying to swallow that fact that Kyle said “nothing.”

“I’m hungry, man. You have any snacks?”

“Yeah. Hold on.” Kyle heads to the kitchen.

“What’s the thing about Spain?”

“Can that meeting be postponed? My friend, Addie, died suddenly and I’m not sure when the funeral is but I’d really like to have Kyle here with me.”

“Who died?” Charley asks as she walks back in.

“Addie.” I can feel my eyes filling up again.

“What? How? When?” She pulls a seat up next to me.

“She had cancer. I didn’t even know. She never told me.” I start crying.

“Oh my God, Ceese, I’m so sorry.” She hugs me.

“Here, dude.” Kyle tosses a small package at Mitch.

“Goldfish, man, really?”

“I like them.” He shrugs.

“In individual packets? What are you, five?”

“It’s all about calorie control, man. Besides, they go well with Capri Suns.” He smirks at him. I see Mitch quickly flick his hand by his throat like he’s telling him to shut up. Oh yeah, I know what that’s about and I can’t help but laugh a little.

“So, Spain?” Mitch opens the package. “I’m going to need about four more of these.” He pours it in his mouth.

“What about it? We’re good to go,” Kyle says. My head jerks back and I stare at him in disbelief.

“CiCi just told us about her friend and that she’d like you to be by her side. I can see what I can do,” he offers.

“No.” Kyle shakes his head. “That’s not a good idea. We made a commitment and we should stick to it. If we start giving mixed messages as far as our commitment level, then companies will stop trusting us. No. I’m good for Spain on Wednesday.”

Companies—my ass!

“You know what? He’s right. You don’t want them to think you can’t back up the level of quality in the product you
put
out there. They’ll stop believing you and soon enough, stop bothering with you completely.” I stare straight at him. I bring my attention back to Charley. “Have a good appointment, sis. I’m gonna go in the other room and order the pizza.” I give her a quick hug. I get up and head out.

On the way, I hear Mitch ask, “So, I’m postponing then?”

“Yes.” Kyle simply states, although it did sound as if he said it through his teeth.

I order the food then head in by the kids. They, of course, are fighting over what show to watch.

After a few minutes go by, Kyle walks into the media room. He picks up the remote and lowers the volume. “Where did you order the pizza from?”

“Gio’s in Hampstead.”

“Jesus,” he mutters under his breath. “I’ll be back in about five hours,” he says sarcastically and heads back out.

“Uncle Kyle, wait up!” Brogan chases after.

“Put your coat on!” I yell. “So, what do you guys want to watch?” I ask Bennett and Brooklynn after I hear the front door slam shut.

Slowly, I blink my eyes open. I jump up in a panic and glance around the room. The kids are gone. I get up and race to the door.
I can’t believe I fell asleep!
Whipping it open, I hurry across the living room and stop dead in my tracks. Kyle and the kids are sitting at the dining room table, laughing and eating. “Again!” Brooklynn screeches.