Inner Circle (18 page)

“You dream about Frederick and other matters associated with your brief stay with us.”

“Yes, that and…and…but how did you….”

Gruber cut her off, “We will be delighted to honor your request. Are you anxious to see Frederick?”

“No,” she spoke too quickly. “I mean not anxious, but I have thought about him, and almost every night there are the dreams…ever since my visit…he…he’s been in…I mean, there are these dreams…and…and music, well not music exactly.” Gruber said nothing. Kathy’s breath was coming faster. Through the earphone she thought she heard a faint repetition of the strange sounding notes playing in the background. “Yes, yes,” she blurted, “I’d like to see Frederick.” She couldn’t understand why she’d said such a thing. Frederick was both cruel and ugly beyond imagining. Pale, like his uncle. His pockmarked face, small mean eyes, his thin lips and long white fingers. Everything about him repelled her. Kathy shuddered remembering her intense fear of him and the abuse she had suffered at his hands. Thank God, both he and his uncle were impotent. She couldn’t understand why she was talking with Gruber. She’d done everything imaginable to avoid being sent to him and his insane nephew.

“I believe it’s Master Frederick,” Gruber corrected.

“But I’m not…I mean Mr. Satomi hasn’t been in touch with me. I think I’m free of all that. I mean all that submission.”

“Ah, yes, a new Mrs. Ryan. A free and independent woman.” There was a long pause. He repeated, “A free and independent woman who has recurring dreams. I think you know what’s wanted, Mrs. Ryan.”

There was a moment of silence then, louder now, the sound of the notes. Kathy sat down and shook her head violently trying to free herself of the reverberating sounds. After several moments she spoke quietly in a flat monotone, “Yes, I know what’s wanted,” she said. “Please. I…I….would like to…to…see and perhaps…perhaps spend a little time in the company of Master Frederick.” As soon as the words were out, she knew she’d made a terrible mistake. Phoning the cold imperious Doctor was a mistake. Telling him she would like to spend time with his ugly, insane nephew was a worse mistake. Flustered, she continued…. “But also…I mean…I’ve been thinking about Jamie…thinking maybe…”

“You’re hoping Frederick will give you permission to fuck his big black servant? Aren’t you getting enough sex at home?” She heard Gruber’s dry chuckle, “No, of course you aren’t. Your training has conditioned you to want it all the time. Yes?”

“I…I…don’t know,” Kathy stammered. “I could be sexually active if I wished, but it wouldn’t be…wouldn’t be…”

“I can’t make decisions for Frederick. However, I suspect he might allow you to have the big black man provided you show him proper respect and perhaps perform for our amusement. You are willing to perform for our amusement, are you not, Mrs. Ryan?”

Kathy closed her eyes for a moment, wanting to refuse but fearful of displeasing him yet not knowing why. She was safe in her own house. No longer subject to his will. She was surprised to hear herself saying, “Yes, that will be…that will be fine.”

“The last time you paid us a visit you were not harmed or required to do anything against your will, is that not true?”

She tried to recall her weekend at Gruber’s estate but the memory was hazy. It drifted in and out of her consciousness. “No, I wasn’t harmed. I can’t quite remember but I don’t think I was forced to do anything I didn’t agree to.”

Gruber’s voice was deep, resonant, evenly modulated, almost hypnotic, “So, you see my dear, there’s nothing to be afraid of. It will simply be a pleasant visit with old friends, yes?” It was a question

Kathy nodded to herself, “Yes, doctor, a pleasant visit with old friends.

“Good, it’s settled then. Is it possible for you to make arrangements to arrive next Saturday around three o’clock? You may wish to stay over. On Sundays we usually have an afternoon entertainment for a select gathering of friends. Oh!” he said in mock surprise. “I forgot, you have attended one of them.” She didn’t respond. “Very well, then,” he continued, “are the day and time suitable?”

“Yes. I could take a flight to La Guardia and rent a car and drive up.”

“We’ll expect you on Saturday at three.” She was about to hang up when Gruber spoke again. “Mrs. Ryan, on your last evening with Abul, did he present you with a gift?”

“A gift? No, I don’t recall a gift.”

“I believe your late husband had left you a gold necklace and….”

Kathy felt her heart racing. “Yes, he did.” She was acutely aware of the stickiness between her legs. “That’s right, my husband left me a necklace. Abul made me take it off.”

“And Abul replaced it with?”

Kathy realized Gruber had seen the tapes. “A dog collar,” she said.

“Negra’s collar?”

“Yes, Negra’s collar.”

“I dare say you’ve kept it, the collar I mean.”

“I…I…don’t know.”

“You do know, Mrs. Ryan.”

“It’s…it’s in a drawer somewhere.”

“When you arrive on Saturday, Master Frederick and I would like you to be naked under your dress. No stockings, very high heels.”

“But…but…I…I’m not…I don’t…” Gruber waited.

“Yes,” she said. “I…I’ll dress as you wish.”

“And I know Frederick will want you to wear the collar. Do you have any objections to that?”

She hesitated. “No doctor,” she tried to keep the trembling out of her voice, “No, I haven’t any objections.”

“Good. Frederick will be pleased to see you and so, I’m sure, will Jamie.” For a second time, she was about to hang up when he spoke, “One thing more, Mrs. Ryan.”

“Yes, Doctor.”

“I understand your parents were killed in an auto crash when you were quite young?”

“That’s true. It seems Mr. Satomi has sent my biography to everyone.”

“Only to those of us who were directly involved in your…for want of a better word, in your education.” There was a pause. “Tell me, have you put away some small thing of your mother’s….a treasured keepsake, something to remember her by.”

It was a strange question. Kathy’s first impulse was to lie and say no. Instead, she answered truthfully, “There’s some of her jewelry. We were rather poor. It’s of no value.”

“Anything else?”

“Shortly before the accident, my father had given her a small beautifully embroidered scarf made of Irish linen. My mother said it was too lovely to wear. I’ve kept it. I look at it often.”

“I see. Tell me this, Mrs. Ryan. Is your cunt wet now? I’ll wait while you find out.”

His question frightened her. It had been months since anyone had spoken to her in that way. She hesitated. This would be the time for her to quietly hang up the receiver and get on with a normal life…a life in which no one would dare ask such a question. Instead, she reached under her skirt knowing that she was wet. “Yes,” she said, “yes, I…I’m very wet.”

“I thought you might be. Before your visit to us you should know that the token you so generously presented to Negra during your first visit has been chewed to shreds. There’s really nothing left of it.” He paused. “It’s quite possible my nephew’s dog has forgotten you.”

“Please, Doctor,” Kathy interrupted, “not my mother’s scarf. I couldn’t. I honestly couldn’t. It’s all that I have to…to…”

Gruber cut her off. His friendly tone had changed. “As soon as we’re finished speaking, I want you to get the scarf. Then you’re to wipe your dripping cunt with it. After that, you’re to stuff it up inside your vagina. Frederick and I want your mother’s scarf to be soaked with your cunt juice. Do you understand, Mrs. Ryan?”

“But I can’t, I can’t possibly…” She heard the chord again. It seemed to be coming from the phone and was also playing in her head.

“The scarf soaked with your cunt juice,” Gruber repeated.

Kathy squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed, “Yes, Doctor Gruber,” she said, “I understand.”

“Wrap it in plastic and put it in an envelope addressed to me. Send it overnight mail.” He paused, waiting. Kathy’s head cleared for a moment. She considered slamming down the phone. Hang up, she thought. Call the pool service. Get the pedicure. Keep your luncheon date. Gruber spoke again in the same even self-assured tone, “You don’t want the dog to forget you, do you, Mrs. Ryan? Think before you answer. Remember your dreams. Ask yourself why you called me on this bright May morning.”

It was several moments before she answered. She had trouble forming the words, “No,” she said almost to herself, “no, I…I…don’t want him to forget me.”

“Is it correct to say you would like Negra to anticipate your coming and recognize you when you arrive?”

“No!” Kathy said quickly, “no, that’s crazy. I…I’m sorry I phoned. It was about Jamie…not…not…”

Gruber spoke sternly, “You should know better than to lie to me, Mrs. Ryan. I want you to tell the truth.” Kathy shook her head.

After several moments she answered automatically, “I’m not lying. I don’t care. I don’t care if the dog remembers me or not.”

“I don’t believe you, Mrs. Ryan. But tell me, what scent does the dog know you by?”

“Doctor Gruber, I didn’t call to talk about the dog.” She waited. Gruber said nothing. Once more she thought about hanging up. Instead she said, “By my scent.”

“Be exact, Mrs. Ryan. Say the words.”

“He knows the scent of…of my cunt.”

“And what specific scent will cause him to anticipate your visit?”

“Doctor Gruber, if I decide to come for a short visit it has nothing do with the dog.”

“What scent?” Gruber asked dryly.

“The scent of my cunt.”

“Yes, that’s quite right. And, Mrs. Ryan, when you descend the stone steps to his quarters and stand before his cage, and lift the hem of your dress, how will he know it is you who have come to visit him?”

“But I won’t…I can’t. I’m not going to.” She took a deep breath. There was silence on the other end of the line. “By the scent of my cunt,” she said.

“And the scent will be strong, and your cunt will be wet?”

“I…I…don’t know.”

“I think you do know. Send the scarf. Your dear Mother’s scarf. Nothing else will do.”

“Yes, Doctor……my mother’s scarf.” She heard the click and the line went dead.

Chapter Seven

As soon as Kathy placed the receiver back in its cradle, she hurried to find the scarf. Hating herself, she did what the Doctor had demanded. Twenty minutes later she handed the envelope containing her mother’s scarf to the postal clerk.

The clerk weighed the small package. “Overnight mail?”

“Yes, please, overnight.”

As Kathy stepped back out into the bright afternoon sunlight, she had to rest against the side of her BMW. She felt a sick churning in her stomach. Her legs shook. Tears formed in her eyes. “My God,” she whispered to herself, “what am I doing?”

For the rest of the day, she made a conscious effort to push the morning’s events out of her mind. But as evening approached she had to face the fact that there were things to be done. It seemed as if after hearing Doctor Gruber’s voice she’d lost her will, as if some inner force compelled her to do that obscene thing with the scarf and send it. Now, she had to make the necessary arrangements. It was clear to her that ever since the terrible experience at his estate, she had not been herself. The recurring dreams, the discordant musical notes, the sudden daytime visions of Frederick, the constant arousal, the desperate need for….for…something she was afraid to name.

She ordered her plane tickets through the internet. When asked if she wanted a one way or round trip ticket, Kathy didn’t hesitate. She selected “round trip”. She was to leave Pittsburgh on Saturday, May 9
th
and return on Monday, May 11
th
. Dates, times, flight numbers, seat assignments were quickly confirmed. Her Visa card number was accepted. There was only one more box to check. It appeared at the lower right of her screen. She stared at it for several minutes. Then, her hand shaking, she slowly moved the curser and clicked the rectangle labeled “SUBMIT”.

The weather had turned very warm for May. Kathy decided on comfortable clothes instead of the dress Gruber had told her to wear. She no longer needed to take orders from anyone, especially the cadaverous Doctor Gruber. She chose a pale yellow linen jacket and pants to match. For the trip, she slid her freshly pedicured toes into flat leather sandals. In her suitcase she’d packed strappy slingbacks and thong sandals, both pair with four and a half inch heels. With them she carefully folded a black stretch lace halter gown, low-scooped front, open back, side slit. This she would wear as a guest this time at one of the “entertainments”. In addition to the evening gown, she selected a very short body hugging red cotton spandex dress. She hesitated before placing it in the suitcase. She even took it back to the closet and was about to hang it up and select something more conservative. Then she heard in her head the jangling atonal notes that had been haunting her since the night she left Gruber’s estate months ago. She put the spandex dress on top of the black gown, and stood looking down at it for several moments. Since she planned to sleep over, she included a lavender chemise. In a separate case were her cosmetics, body oil, and perfume. There was no bra in her suitcase, nor were there stockings or panties.