It's All About Him (29 page)

Dee continued to unpack the containers. 'He hasn't seen it.'

'He'll love it,' Zoe assured her. 'Anyway, it wouldn't matter if you'd got it all shaved off, he'd still think you were the bee's knees.'

'True.' Ronan chuckled.

Dee sighed. There was no one else in the café and there wouldn't be a better opportunity than this; Conor would probably thank her for doing it. 'Conor and I have split up,' she said before she lost her nerve.

Ronan looked shocked for a moment and then, regaining his composure, patted her arm awkwardly. 'We all fall out from time to time. If I had a fiver for every time Julia and I argued, I'd be a very rich man.'

'We didn't argue,' Dee said quietly, 'we just decided to call it a day.'

Zoe looked from her shell-shocked boss to their calm, but sad-faced chef. 'I'll go and get the rest of the stuff out of the car. Sorry, Dee,' she added as she passed.

Dee smiled and nodded. 'Thanks.'

'Well,' Ronan said, 'I must say I'm surprised.'

She nodded silently.

'And there's no chance—'

She shook her head.

'I'm sorry about that. I thought you two, well,' he cleared his throat, 'you don't want to know what I thought. Just remember, Dee, that you may have split up with Conor but that doesn't mean you have to split up with me or Julia, and that goes for young Sam too.'

Dee's eyes filled up as she looked at him. 'Thanks, Ronan, I appreciate that.'

'Don't mention it,' he said, clearing his throat again.

'I'd better go,' she said, edging towards the door, 'I'm due at the studio in an hour.'

'Oh, right.' He smiled. 'Well, good luck, then, we'll all be watching.'

'Thanks, Ronan,' she said again and escaped before the tears threatened to spill over.

'You okay?' Zoe was leaning against the car, the last of the containers at her feet ,when Dee emerged.

Dee nodded and fumbled in her pocket for a tissue. 'Fine.'

'Good luck today, then.'

'Thanks.'

'And, by the way, I was wrong,' she added as Dee lowered herself into the driving seat.

'Sorry?'

Zoe smiled kindly. 'You don't look like Natalie Imbruglia, you're much more attractive.'

'Cheers, Zoe,' Dee said with a watery smile, and she drove away.

Made-up, rather heavily she thought, with a fuchsia pink top and long dangly earrings, Dee made her way down to the set.

'Dee! Look at you!' Marge hurried over to hug her.

'Don't ruin her make-up,' Carolyn warned. 'Isn't her hair gorgeous, Marge?'

'Absolutely perfect.'

'Thanks,' Dee said shyly. 'Is April here yet?'

'In the loo, and today's guest has just arrived.'

'Oh, who is it?' Dee asked.

'Shay Dunne, you know, the personal trainer?'

Dee nodded Shay was the man responsible for getting everybody who was anybody in Dublin fit and healthy. 'Is he interested in taking part in our piece on labelling?'

Carolyn nodded. 'Very. He thinks it's a great idea. Right, then, Dee. You can grab a seat back there or go and wait in the green room if you prefer,'

'I'd like to stay, if that's okay,'

'Fine, just don't talk when the on-air sign is on. You'll be on after the second break, so about thirty minutes, okay?'

Dee nodded excitedly. 'Fine.' She was quite looking forward to watching the show from the sidelines. The last time she'd been here she had been too flustered to notice anything much and then she'd been whisked in and out so quickly everything was a bit of a blur. The first thing that struck her now as she sat on the battered couch at the back of the room was how small the set was and how empty it was. Apart from Carolyn and Marge there were only two other people and Dee couldn't even see a camera. Within minutes, however, there was a sudden bustle, people came and went, April and Shay arrived in, and soon the tall dark girl in black – later introduced to Dee as the floor manager – called for silence. Marge took her place and the theme music for
Right Now
started.

'Exciting, isn't it?' April whispered, squeezing in beside her on the couch.

Dee nodded and smiled, afraid to open her mouth.

'It's okay, we're safe while the music is on. Are you nervous?'

'Terrified.'

'Don't be. You know your stuff and that's the trick. You won't believe how fast the time will go. If you forget anything or you get stuck, just give me a look and I'll dig you out.'

'Thank you.' Dee smiled gratefully.

'You'll be great,' April assured her, 'and I love the hair.'

Shay Dunne came over to stand next to them. 'Hi, April, how are you?'

'Not as fit as I should be!'

'You're in great shape, I'll never get any business from you.' His eyes moved to Dee. 'Aren't you going to introduce me to this lovely lady?'

'Sorry, Shay, this is Dee Hewson.'

His eyes widened. 'Oh! Any relation—'

'No, afraid not.'

'She's going to be famous in her own right soon enough,' April said loyally. 'Wait till you hear her, Shay, she's wonderful.'

'Oh, what's your expertise?'

'Shush!' The floor manager put a finger to her lips as the music came to an end and the 'on air' sign flicked on.

Dee got completely caught up in the show and couldn't believe it when Carolyn came to fetch her and April. Shay was already on set having been interviewed in the slot before them and he smiled encouragingly as Dee came to take the seat next to him. A girl came to touch up Marge's hair and the floor manager called 'One minute!'

'Dee, April, I'll introduce you, give your background and then it's pretty much over to you. Shay, please feel free to join in.'

He nodded. 'I'd love to; it's something I feel quite strongly about.'

'Then you and Dee have a lot in common,' Marge told him with a wink at Dee.

Dee felt herself redden but there was no time for embarrassment as the countdown began.

'Welcome to
Right Now
,' Marge said, smiling into the camera.

For the first time Dee saw it, the autocue underneath. It was nothing like the cameras she'd seen on TV, much smaller and quite discreet. Dee sat, her back straight and her eyes on the host, and listened carefully. She had no idea when the camera was on her and she didn't want to be caught out looking unprofessional.

Carolyn had told her that it was best to behave as if the camera didn't exist and to talk to the other panellists as if they were having a chat around her kitchen table. Dee wasn't quite sure she could do that but she understood what Carolyn meant. Marge addressed April first and it gave Dee a chance to catch her breath and take her cue from the articulate and lively older woman. April very quickly drew Dee into the conversation and soon she was taking them through the slide with the five points she and April had compiled, giving examples from her own experience. This was when Shay joined in with examples of his own and before she knew it, Marge was thanking them and announcing the next ad break.

'That was excellent!' Carolyn told them when they were off-air.

'Excellent,' Marge agreed. 'I'll come and find you after the show and we'll review the content for next week,' she told April and Dee. She blew them a kiss and then went off to meet her next guest.

'Why don't you two go down to the canteen?' Carolyn suggested. 'You deserve a nice cuppa after that. Shay, thank you so much for coming in and staying on for the nutrition spot; you were great.'

Shay shook her hand. 'No problem, I enjoyed it.' He turned to smile at Dee and April. 'I don't suppose I could tag along for that cuppa, could I?'

'That would be great,' April told him, 'you can give us your thoughts on what we have planned for next week's show.'

Shay spent half an hour with them, listening to their ideas and throwing in a couple of his own. Dee was disappointed when he finally got up to leave. 'It was lovely to meet you,' she said.

'The pleasure was all mine,' he said, smiling into her eyes.

'He's such a flirt,' April laughed when they were alone.

'Yes,' Dee agreed.

'He is very attractive though, isn't he? All those muscles and toned skin and that hair.' She saw Dee grinning at her. 'Hey, I may be getting older but I'm not blind.'

Dee laughed. 'He is attractive,' she admitted, 'but nice with it.'

'And intelligent too, not a combination you get very often.'

'Oh, I don't know about that,' Dee said wistfully thinking of Conor. She had always enjoyed being held in his strong, brawny arms and when it came to kindness, humour and intelligence, Conor was hard to beat. She sighed as she realized how much she missed him. They hadn't been able to go out on too many conventional dates but she was used to him dropping in and out, to him being a part of her day, and there was now a very large gap in it. Sam was beginning to notice.

'Penny for them,' April said.

'Oh, sorry, I was miles away.'

'I could give you his phone number if you like.'

'Sorry?'

'Shay?'

She laughed. 'Thanks, but I'm not interested.'

'Already taken, eh?'

'You could say that,' Dee agreed. 'Now, have you had any more thoughts on next week's show?'

Again, when she emerged from Seven TV and switched her phone back on, the messages started to roll in. She smiled delightedly as she read the congratulations from her friends, and was particularly touched by Conor's.

U WER GREAT, AS ALWAYS

He usually signed off with a kiss but, she supposed, that wasn't appropriate any more. With another heartfelt sigh, she slipped her headset on and drove out of the studio car-park. She had only just pulled out into the traffic when the phone rang. 'Hello, Dee Hewson?'

'Dee, it's Neil.'

'You're not supposed to be calling me, remember?'

He ignored her rebuke. 'I want to talk to you. I know you're in town, will you meet me, same place?'

'How do you know I'm in town?' Dee asked suspiciously.

'I phoned the house and asked for you and no, I didn't say it was me.'

'You still shouldn't have done it; you promised.'

'Dee, give me a break here, I've been very patient and kept my promise to stay away but after the other day—'

'Okay.' Dee could hear the frustration in his voice. 'I'll be there in about ten or fifteen minutes.'

When she walked into the lobby area, her eyes went to the table where he had been sitting the last time they'd met in the hotel and, sure enough, he was there. He spotted her instantly and was immediately on his feet.

'Thanks for coming,' he said when she had taken the seat opposite. He nodded at the pint in front of him. 'I felt like something stronger, how about you?'

'Just some sparkling water for me, please.'

'You never were much of a drinker,' he remarked after placing the order.

'No,' she agreed, thinking of the amount of wine and beer she'd managed to consume in the last few weeks. 'How are you?'

He shrugged. 'I'm not sure. The other day was a bit of a shock.'

'I can understand that but don't blame your mum, Neil. I told her I'd never let her see Sam unless she promised not to tell you.'

'I realize that but it's still hard for me to accept that she's known him all this time and said nothing.'

'You should be grateful,' Dee told him. 'At least he's had a grandmother, if not a father.'

'Do you hate me that much, Dee?'

'No, I love him that much, Neil.' She stopped as the waiter arrived back with her water and took a sip. 'As far as I was concerned Sam had to be protected from you; that can't come as a surprise.'

He looked down. 'No, I suppose not.'

'You didn't help matters by not keeping in touch with your mother.'

'I did!'

'A few brief phone calls hardly count.'

He sat back on the sofa and looked at her. 'But what was the point, Dee? What could I tell her?'

She shrugged. 'I don't know, but you must have realized that as your mother she would always want to know that you were okay.'

His smile was cold. 'But I wasn't.'

But Dee wasn't about to start feeling sorry for him. 'And what about when you turned things around and made a success of your life? What was to stop you calling her then? You could have flown her out for visits, she would have loved that.'

Again he looked away. 'I wasn't ready.'

'You were – are – her adored son. There is nothing she wouldn't have done for you. She would have been over the moon to know that you were well and happy and you deprived her of that. How long is it now since you kicked the gambling?'

'A couple of years.' He didn't look up at her and his face wore a sullen scowl.

'You surprise me,' she said softly. 'Usually a recovering addict can tell you the exact number of months, days and hours since their last drink or drug or bet.'

'I didn't want to bore you.'

She continued to watch him carefully through narrowed eyes. 'You never did come back to me with a referee. Can't you find one, Neil?'

'Not one that speaks English, as it happens, no.'

'You're not helping yourself here, Neil. I'm beginning to wonder if you really want to be a part of Sam's life after all.'

Neil sat forward now, his face close to hers, his eyes blazing. 'How can you make a statement like that when you won't even talk to me? How can you base everything on two chats? How can you decide what kind of person I am now based on so little?'

'I can't,' she hissed back, 'but you're not giving me anything else to go on, are you?'

He sighed. 'The only way forward is if you get to know me again and make your own decision.'

She shook her head, her eyes full of confusion. 'I don't know—'

'What have you got to lose?'

She glared at him. 'I would have thought that was obvious, even to you.'

'Okay, listen, I have an idea. You've already introduced me to Sam as Mum's friend, why can't we continue like that? I could get to know him, he could get to know me and if at a later stage you decide you can trust me, well, then we can tell him the truth.'

She frowned. 'I don't know, that would mean more lies. As it is it's going to be an awful shock for him to find out that Peggy is his granny, never mind that you are his dad.'