“Kaleb” I greet.
“Rhiannon,” he says as he sits on the sofa. “What are you doing here?”
“I'm working Kaleb. I’m fine why shouldn’t I work?”
“You should take this week off.” he says.
“No, I need the money.”
“Paid leave.” he simply says.
“I might need the money, but I will not take that. Just because you want in to my knickers, doesn’t mean I need special treatment at work. That’s absurd.”
“Any of my employees who have just been released from hospital I would demand staying at home.” he says like I just offended him.
“Thank you, but I don’t need it.”
“Just take the damn week off.” he orders me.
“I don’t need a week, just today.”
“Fine, that’s better than nothing.” he sulkily says.
“Thank you.” I say as I head to the door.
“Hang on, where you running off too?” he asks as he catches up with me.
“I have something to do.” I simply say, “I'll text you later.” I inform him.
“Okay.” he says unsure. Wow, he’s actually listening to what I want for a change.
“Actually hold on, Toby said I was the only one with a key to my room, so why has someone been in?” I ask him, remembering my thoughts from earlier.
“There is a master key to every room. I will look in to who came in. Your paperwork should be left in the folder outside.” he says confused.
“Okay.” I say as I leave.
“Don’t forget to text me.” he shouts as I run down the stairs.
I don’t respond, I’m back outside in no time at all.
The valet looks at me confused as he walks towards my car.
“Miss Addison, is everything okay?” he asks me when he returns with my car.
“Yes thank you.” I respond as I grab my keys from him.
*****
Once I return home I go straight for a glass of wine. I need this before I do anything else. Is it ever too early for wine? I suppose some where it is time for wine, so I will just imagine I am in a different continent.
After a mouthful, I pull my phone out and start to text.
**I need to see you please**
I press send, and the person who received the text rings me.
“Hello.” I respond.
“Hello, are you okay?” they ask sounding a little apprehensive.
“Yes, I’m fine, are you able to come see me?” I ask.
“I'm supposed to be at work, but yeah where are you?”
“I'm at home.” I simply respond.
“Why are you not at work?” they ask confused.
“I just couldn’t face work today.”
“Okay, let me talk to Kaleb, and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. He owes me anyway. Does he know you're not at work?”
“Yes, I went in but came back home.”
“Why didn’t you come see me?” he asks hurt.
“I just couldn’t Jase. I cleared it with Kaleb.”
“Okay, I’ll try come straight away. Is everything okay?” he asks concerned.
“Not really.” I say with a lump in my throat.
“Okay, I’m coming.” he says as he hangs up.
While I wait for him to arrive I text grace.
**Not at work today. Please come round. Rhi XoX**
**On my way, you okay? G XoX**
**Not really. Talk when you're here. Rhi XoX**
**Okay, I’m on my way. G XoX**
I sit and wait for the pair of them to arrive. After half an hour Jase arrives first. I let him up and wait in the kitchen for him. When he reaches my door, he shouts through,
“Rhiannon?”
“I'm in the kitchen.” I reply as I take another swig of my wine. This is fueling my courage.
“Are you okay?” he asks as he walks in.
He walks over to me, and gives me a hug, and I slowly respond.
This is going to be harder then I first thought.
“Yes.” I reply. If I say too much I’m afraid I will break. “Jase we need to talk.”
“I figured that when I got the message. Rhiannon, what’s wrong?” he is sounding worried.
Lord give me strength.
“I've being doing some thinking.” I say pausing to take a deep breath, “And I can’t do this.”
“Do what?” he asks confused.
“Us.” I say as I crumble his world. A two lettered word has just crumpled his world in front of my face, and its breaking my heart.
“What are you saying?” he asks sadly.
“I can’t do this, us, it’s not working. I am so sorry.” I say as I start sobbing. I hate hurting people.
“Is this because of Kaleb?” he asks hurt.
“Yes and no.”
“It’s either yes or no, not both Rhiannon.”
“I care about you, just the way I feel with Kaleb is different to how I feel with you.”
He takes a step back, “I never meant to hurt you Jase, and I’m so sorry.” I say as my tears continue to cascade down my face.
“So what happens now? You going to run straight to Kaleb?” he asks like I just hit him.
“No, but I never asked for this.”
“You never asked for it? I knew something was going on.”
“Well nothing is going on, not really.”
“Not really? Wasn’t that convincing.” he spits at me.
“Jase please.” I beg him, not sure what for.
“What?” he asks, “What did you want from me?”
“I don’t know, but I couldn’t string you along. I know I’ve hurt you but I couldn’t do it anymore.”
“You mean you have been stringing me along?” he asks hurt.
“No, I would never do that, it came out wrong.”
“You said it exactly how you meant it Rhiannon. Have you done anything with him?” he asks.
I can’t lie, but I can’t tell him and hurt him anymore.
“You have haven’t you?” he asks as my eyes turn to the floor.
“You slept with him?” he snarls at me.
“No.”
“But something has happened right?” he is furious with me, but I’m also furious with me.
“I didn’t mean to.” I say in a weak attempt at defending myself.
“So what? Contact? Kissing? What Rhiannon, I need answers.” he shouts at me.
“It was just a kiss.”
“When?”
“The fir.... the night of your Movie première.”
“And?” he asks, “You almost said, the first time. The truth Rhiannon, I don’t think I’m asking for too much.” he continues shouting.
“Yesterday.” I whisper as my tears refused to stop falling.
“Is that it? No more you're keeping from me?”
“No I swear.” then I remember the first kiss in his car that night I was going to drive my car drunk, but I can’t tell him that now.
“Forgive me if I don’t believe you.” he spits harshly.
“Why? What is so special about him?” he asks.
“I don’t know. I didn’t expect any of this.”
“Surly after you kissed him twice, you would know you would have shit on your hands, or were you going to continue doing it?”
“No. if I was going to continue doing it we wouldn’t be standing here now.”
“Oh hallelujah, you tell me after you kiss another man – twice. Raise the flags she knows she’s done wrong.” he says sarcastically.
“You didn’t even tell me about your past Jase. Kaleb had to tell me you’re making your way through them all.”
“Kaleb had no right telling you that, but I guess he got what he wanted at the end.”
“If you weren’t such an ass that night, maybe I wouldn’t have kissed him.” I spit at him.
“So it’s my fault?” he asks as he laughs at me. “You put out and it’s my fault?”
“No, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that.”
“I thought you were different Rhiannon, but you're just like the rest. Good luck to Kaleb, he’s going to need it.” he says before he leaves.
“He is an ass anyway, so maybe you two deserve each other. You put out to other men while you're supposed to be in a relationship, and he steals other people’s girls, pathetic the pair of you.” he says as he pauses at the threshold of my apartment.
“What about you and that girl Jase, I know something happened, and you’re not telling me everything.” I accuse him, knowing he hasn’t told me, and in a way I want him to confirm it so I don’t feel so bad.
“You pissed me off.” he says like he has done nothing wrong.
“So you did sleep with her?”
“I didn’t mean too, I was drunk and pissed off.”
“And you stand there like lord of the fucking manor, and shout at me for a kiss, when you had sex with someone else. Were you going to tell me?”
“No, it was a mistake, but it doesn’t matter now does it. What’s done is done.”
“You’re an ass Jase, you have double standards. Do I work with her?” I ask needing the clarification.
“That doesn’t matter now. We are through, and I don’t need to explain myself to you anymore.” he says as he leaves, slamming the door behind him.
I slide my body down to the floor as I continue to weep. Big heavy tears roll down my face. I knew it would hurt him and me, but I didn’t expect to feel this bad. I just ripped his heart out, and stamped all over it, before handing it back to him, and expect him to accept it like I did nothing. But then again, he did something worse than what I did. Why do I feel so guilty after what he has just revealed to me? He slept with another girl, yet I feel bad for what I did.
I’m still sat on the kitchen floor crying when Grace comes in.
“Rhiannon, what the hell you doing down there?” she asks as she takes in my frame crumpled on the floor.
“Oh Grace. I feel horrible.” I say as I look up at her. She takes in my tear stained face and is instantly on the floor beside me.
“Rhiannon, what’s wrong?” she questions, concerned for me.
“I just broke up with Jase.” I sob.
“Why? I thought you were okay.”
“We were.” I continue sobbing.
She helps me to my feet, “Come on, I can’t sit down here.” she moans as she leads me to the sofa.
“I don’t understand what happened?”
“I'm falling for Kaleb, but I didn’t mean too.” I say as my sobs continue falling.
“Kaleb?”
I nod my head unable to form words.
“So what’s happening with Jase?”
“I told him it was over, and he found out I have kissed Kaleb.” I sadly respond.
“What? And you didn’t tell me?” grace says shocked.
“No Grace. I really hurt him.”
“I bet, but its better now than later. I’m sure he will be okay. If you didn’t feel for him like you should, you have done the right thing. Would you rather wait, for what marriage? Kids? Then tell him all along you never felt love for him?”
“No, but that doesn’t make this any better. Then he admitted to sleeping with someone else Grace.” I sob in her shoulder as she holds me.
“I know, it will hurt now, you obviously care about him, or you wouldn’t be like this, but its better now. How would you be able to trust him after he cheated Rhi? I know you hurt, but he has done wrong. I know you did too, but not as bad as him. You have nothing to be guilty about. He does, and if I see him, I will let him know.” she tries to make me see sense.
“So what are you doing about Kaleb?”
“I'm not thinking about that now. It feels wrong.”
“Kaleb is the reason you have just split with Jase, partly. We all know that, so we also know you and Kaleb will happen.”
“No, not yet. I want time on my own.”
“I know, come on enough moping. What do you want to do?”
“Just stay in. I don’t want to go out. It’s being a crazy few days I just want me time”
“Okay. Girly time?” she asks and I know what she’s implying.
“Girly time.” I respond with a genuine smile.
She jumps up of the sofa, and I know what she’s doing. I sit there and calm my breathing.
When she returns she has her hands full. She throws a set of short pjs at me, and orders me to get changed. I do as I’m told and run to the bathroom to change.
When I return she has everything all set up on the coffee table.
Face masks, nail polish, make – up, wine, chocolate, DVDs, everything we need for a girly night in.
“Right, you put the DVD on while I get changed.” she says as she takes her pjs and goes to change.
By the time she has returned we have our chick flick ready to play. We actually never really watch a movie; we just use it as background noise.
I press play, as she fills the wine glasses. We used to do this once a week, but we haven’t done it for a few months. We really must make more time to do this.
*****
An hour in to the night, we're both sat with face masks on, we've had our nails painted by each other, and we have consumed a bottle of wine.
It’s being good to laugh again.
My phone has been going of none stop, but I have ignored it. When Grace runs to the bathroom, I decide I should have a look.
I have three missed calls, and five text messages. All from Kaleb.
**Jase just came back to work in a foul mood. Is everything okay?**
**Rhiannon, Jase just not so nicely told me what's happened. Don’t ignore me, I need to talk to you!**
**Why won’t you pick up? I have called twice. I need to know you're okay. I know I’m the last person you want to talk to right now, but please**
**Rhiannon, its being over an hour with no word. If you don’t answer I will come round.**
**For fuck sake! You have a phone for a reason. Jase knows about the kiss doesn’t he? He said some not so nice things. I know he has probably said them to you too. Also he told me he did sleep with the other girl, and you know about it. I’m worried about you, so will you please ANSWER YOUR PHONE!**
For fuck sake, does that man think I have my hands glued to my phone.
I decide it might be in my best interests if I text him back. It will save him intruding a girly evening.
**Kaleb, I do NOT have my phone glued to my hands. Don’t you think 3 calls and 5 messages is going a bit far? Because I do! I am fine. Yes, Jase and I are no longer together, but that’s what you wanted right? So you only get your own way AGAIN! Yes, he knows about the kisses, yes I know he slept with that girl, and yes he was pretty harsh, but all things considering, I deserve it. I was a bitch Saturday night, and I did cheat on him when I kissed you, but nothing I can do now. I am not ignoring you on purpose. I’m busy. Some people do have things to do with their time. You don’t need to come round. I have responded.**