Jane's Gift (17 page)

Meeting his gaze, in that moment, the pain of not having Chris in her life superseded her fears, her worries. He’d become such a part of her, she literally ached from missing him. If Jane had her way, he’d stay with her family forever.

She could only hope he felt the same.

…

It had taken what felt like a million self–pep talks for Chris to actually work up the nerve and come over to Jane’s house. Besides the constant pain he was in, which had mellowed to a steady ache, his broken ribs still made it hard to breathe and his entire body was bruised and scratched. But it was worth the pain to see her again. The gifts for the children were just an excuse. He’d bought them before the accident, and he’d planned on giving them to the kids regardless.

Regardless of the fact that their mother had run out on him when he’d been laid up in a hospital bed, half out of it on pain meds and in agony. His cracked ribs had ached like a bitch. Hell, his entire body still throbbed, even despite the pain medication. But he’d taken one look at Jane’s face when he found her standing over his bed and knew she’d been close to losing it.

And boy, had she. A major meltdown had been more like it. She’d run out of that hospital room, never to be heard from again. That had hurt, more than he cared to admit. Especially when they’d confessed their love to each other just hours before. But it had also felt like a dose of his own medicine. Hadn’t he been the one to run out on her before?

So he’d been angry—both with Jane and with himself—and he’d sulked. Confused, sad, he’d experienced the works in a matter of days.

And then he’d realized he’d be a damn fool to let her go. Not without a fight, an explanation from her, a convincing argument from him.

He might end up looking stupid and he might get dumped for good, but he had to give it at least one more shot.

She stood before him now, fidgety, shifting from one foot to the other. Looking fragile, unsure of what to say or do. And despite everything, he wanted to make it easy on her, didn’t want to put her through this any longer.

Jane was, after all, the woman he loved. The woman he wanted to marry and spend a lifetime with.

“Christian.” She cleared her throat, stood up straighter, as if gathering strength. “You must hate me.”

Her broken voice broke his heart. “I could never hate you.”

“Well.” She sniffed and shook her head. “What I did to you, how I reacted, was uncalled for. Saying I’m sorry could never make it right; I know this. I only hope that someday, you might forgive me.”

“Jane.” He waved at the couch. “Let’s sit down.”

Chris took those few extra seconds to gather his thoughts. Let what she’d just said sink in. He needed to hear that apology, but he also wanted her to admit
why
she’d freaked out so badly in the hospital. He needed her to come clean, for him. And for herself.

“I can’t lie to you, Jane.” He sat close to her, so close their knees bumped and he reached out, grabbed her hands, and held them in his own. “My job is dangerous. You’ve had to face that in the worst way so quickly, and I hate that. But it’s my reality.”

“I know.” She nodded, gave a little sniff as if she were near tears. He didn’t want her to cry. “You’re right.”

“If we’re going to make this work, you have to realize the dangers of my job. But there are dangers in every job. They’re everywhere. You can’t live your entire life in fear of what might happen.” He squeezed her slender hands, so small, so cold in his big, warm ones. “You have to let go and trust that everything’s going to be okay.”

He was asking a lot of her. She’d done that with her late husband and look what happened. Maybe he asked for too much.

“It’s hard,” she admitted. “So much has happened…I don’t know if I could handle something else. I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me for being scared?”

“Yes. But I need you to believe that I’m going to be okay. I need you to stand by me no matter what. Can you believe that we’re going to be okay?” He drew her closer, so tempted to kiss her. But not yet. “Believe in us, Jane.”

Jane nodded, the movement so subtle he almost didn’t see it, and then she was reaching for him, leaning in, her lips poised and ready for his. He took advantage, kissing her, showing her how much he loved her, missed her.

Needed her.

He needed her ready-made family, too. He’d grown to love her children. They made him smile, made him frustrated, made him proud. It wouldn’t always be an easy road, but he was prepared.

For everything.

“I love you, Jane,” Chris whispered against her lips. “I don’t want to imagine my life without you any longer.”

…

“I love you, too.” Jane opened her eyes and stared up at him in wonder. She still couldn’t believe he was here, looking at her with so much love shining in his beautiful eyes. He was ready to forgive her so easily because he loved her that much.

And she loved him, too. More than she could say. It was a miracle he could forgive her so quickly. She was so thankful, ready to forget living in fear and embrace living in the now, with Chris and her children surrounding her.

Chris dipped his head, his mouth so close it touched hers as he spoke. “So I can count on you to stick around?”

She deserved that, after what she did. “Only if you’ll let me.”

“Absolutely.” He smiled, the sight of it making her skin tingle. “So what’s on the agenda tonight?”

How easily he fit into their lives. She loved it, loved him. “Taco dinner. Early bedtime because, trust me, we’ll be getting up extra early tomorrow.”

He grimaced. “Tacos? Is that some sort of family tradition?”

She laughed. “It’s a new tradition I started this year.”

“Interesting.”

“The kids and Mindy reacted the same way.”

“I’m sure it’ll be great.” He gathered her close, pressed a kiss to her cheek, her lips, lingering. How she loved his positive attitude. He made her feel like she could do no wrong.

His eyes dark, his expression grew serious. “Jane, I—”

Her children burst into the room, Logan yelling for his Christmas gift. Lexi sent Chris a shy smile and Sophia turned circles in the green velvet dress Mindy had just put her in.

“Are you ready for this?” Jane asked after Logan had tackled Chris and nearly sent him sprawling with a grunt of pain.

“I think so.” He grinned.

“When can we open our Christmas gifts from you?” Logan yelled yet again, and Chris sent Jane a heated look. One that said he’d be unwrapping her much later that evening.

“I—I didn’t get you anything.” Her heart sank as it dawned on her. She’d planned to buy him a gift but had no clue what to get, hadn’t found anything special enough. And once she’d had her meltdown at the hospital, she didn’t think he’d want anything from her anyway.

“Sweetheart, I already have my Christmas gift. You. The kids. All of you are my gift.” Chris drew her down onto the floor so she settled in his lap, in his arms. “You’re everything I need.”

Jane clung to him, her hands curling around his broad shoulders. “You’re everything I need, too.”

And when he kissed her, held her close to his steadily beating heart, she knew he’d always be there for her. No matter what.

Chapter Eighteen

The McKenzie household was jam-packed, full of adults and kids alike. Relatives from all over had come for Christmas day, bearing too much food and gifts, eager to spend time with the ones they loved.

Chris had never seen anything like it. Thanksgiving had been busy enough, but there were even more people here today. So many names to learn as Jane introduced him to an endless stream of relatives and friends. He simply nodded and smiled. Hoped like hell she’d give him a rundown later.

He’d been wanting to ask Jane to marry him since last night, but they were constantly interrupted and the timing never seemed right. So he still waited for the right moment, which might never come. At least, not today.

Her parents embraced him as if he were their long lost son. Her oldest brother Patrick and his wife gave him a hearty greeting. The only one who still seemed skeptical was Cameron. But he knew Cam was protective of Jane. Quiet. He didn’t share much, was standoffish, but Chris took it in stride. Jane had explained her brother’s past to him, and he knew the guy had been through a lot as a war photographer in Afghanistan.

“Want something else to eat?” Jane stood before him, beautiful in a simple forest green dress that brought out her eyes. Her cheeks were flushed and the smile she wore reminded him of an angel. She was happy, in her element.

He loved seeing her like this.

Groaning, he shook his head. “I’m stuffed.” He’d eaten enough to feed three men. And considering how nervous he was, that had been a mistake.

“Don’t let my mom hear you. She might get offended.” With a laugh, she scampered off, stopping to listen to Lyssa compliment her on the apron she had made her for a gift.

Pride flowed through Chris. Jane had admitted she’d secretly worked for weeks on those aprons, and they were turning out to be the hit of the day. The women loved them and all the little girls whined over not receiving one. When Jane had confessed on the ride over that she was seriously thinking of pursuing a small business creating them, he’d encouraged her.

Getting up from his spot on the couch, he limped through the crowded house, wishing for some fresh air. He needed a few moments alone. The little box burned a hole in the front pocket of his jeans and he wanted to ask her, but not yet. Not here. He prayed that when he finally asked her, Jane would say yes.

If she didn’t…hell. He couldn’t think like that. Not now. It was Christmas, for the love of God.

He stepped outside onto the patio, breathed deep the icy cold air. Clouds hung low, the sky darkening as the day ended. Broadcasters predicted snow and Chris figured they were right on the money.

“You’re in love with Jane.”

Chris turned at the sound of Mac’s voice. Saw Mac was standing with his brother Cameron, the both of them with scowls on their faces.

Chris swallowed hard. “I am. And she’s in love with me.”

The two shared a look before Mac spoke again. “You haven’t been together very long.”

“Long enough.”

“Mac has filled me in on you two.” Cam’s voice was deep and low. Slightly intimidating. But Chris was prepared, knew he could withstand an inquisition. “Sounds like there’s been a lot of indecision going down.”

“I love her and want what’s best for your sister. Jane means the world to me.”

“She’s been through a lot. Too much.” The look on Cameron’s face was pained, and it touched Chris. He clearly loved his sister. “I don’t want to see her suffer any more.”

“I promise I will take care of her for the rest of my life.” He reached inside his front pocket and pulled out the box. “I plan on asking her to marry me.”

Both men’s gazes widened. “Holy shit,” Mac whispered. “Really?”

“Don’t sound so surprised.” Chris laughed nervously. “I love her. I can’t imagine my life without her.”

Cam watched him, his gaze unflinching, for long, quiet seconds until he finally nodded. “Think she’ll say yes?”

“I hope so,” Chris muttered.

“Then what are you waiting for? Maybe you should ask her right now.”

Chris swallowed hard, shoved the box back into his front pocket. “Are you serious?”

Cam shrugged. “It would certainly prove how much you care for her. Having the balls to ask her to marry you in front of the entire family? That’s a bold move, man.”

“Cam—” Mac started but something on Cam’s face seemed to silence him.

“I think she’d appreciate the gesture,” Cam continued, his expression dead serious.

It didn’t sound like something Jane would encourage, but then again, this was her big brother talking. Wouldn’t he know? “I’m not sure I can do it right now.”

“Your call, man.” Cam paused, his green eyes, so very similar to Jane’s, feeling like they were seeing right through him. “You’d put all the rest of us to shame, proposing on Christmas day.”

That didn’t sound so bad. After all, it was Jane’s favorite holiday. “I might…”

What could pass for a smile curled Cam’s mouth. “Good. She’d definitely say yes, especially in front of the whole family.”

Shaking his head, Mac went to Chris and embraced him quickly, gave him a slap on the back before he pulled away. “You’re much braver than me, man. No way can I imagine asking a woman to marry me in front of everyone on Christmas. I can’t even ask a chick if she wants to come to my parents’ house for dinner.”

Both brothers laughed, but Chris just smiled. They’d get their turns someday. “This is quite the event. You have a ton of family.”

“More are here than usual, to see Cam and Jane. Neither of them has been around much for a big family holiday. Jane was still recovering last year and Cam was out of the country.”

An extra-large crowd to witness his asking Jane to marry him—not intimidating at all. Chris swallowed hard, tugged at his shirt collar. Despite the coldness in the air, he started to sweat. Could he handle this? Or would it be too much pressure? Maybe he should wait till this evening when they were alone before he proposed. But he wanted her to know how much she meant to him, how much he loved her. Wouldn’t a grand gesture like asking her to be his wife in front of her family on Christmas day be the mother of all grand gestures?

Hell. He didn’t know what to do.

…

Christian had been acting weird ever since dinner. She wondered if he didn’t feel well but didn’t know how to tell her. Maybe they should leave early so they could go back home and relax without all the chaos around them.

But when Jane went searching for Chris throughout the house, she couldn’t find him. Pausing in her search, she spoke to Chloe, who had stopped by on her way home from her own family festivities, as well as Mindy.

“Have you seen Chris?” Jane asked.

Mindy shrugged. “No, but who could find anyone in this crowd?”

“I saw him. He went outside, and Mac and Cam followed him.” Chloe’s cheeks turned bright pink. “I was by the back door and saw it.”

Hmm. Jane wondered at that. She knew Chloe had that crush on Cameron long ago, but did it still linger? She seemed to take extra care in keeping tabs on Jane’s brother.

But then another thought invaded her brain. Chris was outside alone with her two brothers? That couldn’t be good. They were probably drilling him, making sure he’d do right by her, and all that macho brotherly nonsense they loved to spout.

She appreciated their concern and love, but they could also be super intimidating.

“I should go rescue him.” Jane started for the back door. “Before they scare him to death.”

“He’s right there.” Mindy grabbed hold of Jane’s upper arm and steered her around so she could spot Chris as he worked his way through the crowd of relatives. “And he’s coming for you.”

“Hey,” he said as he approached, grabbing hold of her hand. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

She sent a fleeting look to her sister and friend, who both smiled their encouragement for her to go with Chris. He led her into the living room, close to the fireplace, where her dad had made a quick announcement not fifteen minutes ago that dessert was going to be served soon. It was a busy spot, not quiet at all, and she wondered what he might be doing.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

Chris glanced around, his movements jerky. “I need to talk to you.”

“Now?” Like they’d have any privacy? The place was a mob scene. She’d never seen so many of her relatives all together before besides at her, Patrick’s, or Mindy’s weddings, and the group had grown over the years with other marriages and children galore.

Besides, she knew Chris wasn’t completely comfortable yet with the crowd that was her family.

“Yeah.” He gave her a crooked smile and her heart cracked open. “It’s kind of important.”

“All right,” she said slowly, surprised that he’d raised his voice. Like he wanted to be heard.

“I never gave you a Christmas gift.”

“Yes, you did.” She glanced around, noticed that more than a few people had stopped to watch, including Mac and Cameron, who had an extremely smug expression on his face. “You’re my gift,” she whispered.

Chuckling, he reached into the front pocket of his jeans, held out a small black velvet box. “Open it.”

Her heart thundered in her ears but she still heard the soft gasps emanating from the increasing crowd that gathered around them. She took the box he offered and opened it with trembling fingers, a soft sigh escaping her at the sight of the diamond engagement ring nestled inside.

It was round, sparkly, perfect. She pulled it from the box and held it between two fingers. Chris snagged it and went down on one knee before her, his warm gaze meeting hers.

“Jane, will you be my wife? Will you and Lexi, Logan, and Sophia live with me so we can be a family? Together?”

The entire room was rendered silent; even the children had stopped talking and running around as they all watched Chris ask her to marry him. She couldn’t believe he was doing it in front of them all. He wasn’t used to having such a big family, had told her before that he found it to be just a bit overwhelming.

To ask her to marry him in front of the entire clan was momentous. Huge.

“I asked your parents’ permission earlier. They approve,” he whispered. “Your brothers, too.”

“Give the man an answer,” Cameron shouted from the back of the room.

She laughed. And cried, all at once as her gaze met Chris’s. “Oh, yes,” she said on a sob, throwing herself into his arms. He hugged her close before moving her away, chuckling when he slipped the ring on her finger. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, Jane.” He stood, brought her back into his embrace, smoothing his hands up and down her back. “Too much to risk losing you. Know that I’m always here for you, sweetheart. No matter what.”

“I know.” She glanced up at him and drew her hand across his cheek, savoring his closeness, his scent, the way he watched her, all the love and desire and want glowing in his eyes. Then lowering her voice, she whispered, “You should’ve done this later, though, when we were at home. You didn’t need to make this into such a big deal.”

“Freaking Cam,” Chris muttered and she gasped, glanced in her big brother’s direction. His face had
Gotcha
written all over it.

Not that she was complaining. After all, Chris had asked her to be his wife.

Everyone burst into applause and shouts of happiness as they swarmed around them. Her mother rushed her first, yanking Jane into her arms.

“You got a good one,” Lydia whispered, kissing her cheek. “Don’t let him go.”

Jane cried even harder, overwhelmed with happiness. Mac grabbed her kids and brought them to her and Chris. They all embraced, even Lexi, who smiled and said she was happy, though Jane knew this wouldn’t be the end of that particular challenge.

But everything was going to be all right. They could get through this. She had Chris by her side, supporting her. Loving her.

And that was all that mattered.

“Are you happy?” he asked her much, much later, when they were back at her place, in bed. Alone. Outside, snow fell, already a thick layer on the ground, and the children were snug asleep in their rooms

“Yes.” She drew her fingers down his bare chest, careful of his ribs. He was still a bruised-up mess. “I still can’t believe you did that.”

“I can’t, either.” He chuckled. “I wanted to prove how much you mean to me. And I wanted your entire family to share in our happiness. Oh yeah, and Cam made me do it.”

She lifted up on one elbow, smiling at him. “That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. Though my brother is a complete jerk.”

Reaching out, he cupped her cheek, his touch gentle. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Leaning in, she kissed him. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For my gift. For you.” She kissed him again. “For everything.”

“You are my everything,” he whispered against her lips. “Don’t ever forget it.”

She knew, without a doubt, she wouldn’t.