JR (114 page)

—Man like I mean I just said who wants your fucking title if nobody even knows what it means… the flexed knee sagged, —I mean look man do you want to ball?

—Drop that knee little further everybody know what it means, picture on the jacket Taine write your jacket blurb sell a million…

—Look, I mean do you?

—Told you I'm, why…

—Why, I mean like what else is there to do … her scratching fingers stilled, —I mean there's nothing else to eat there's nothing to even smoke so like you're going to sit here reading this dirty book you wrote in the moonlight?

—Told you too late no, fairies spent it.

—What fairies man! she came forward to punch the punctured shade into light —I mean look, do you want to make it with me or not.

—Told you too God damned late didn't I! Why agapê's agape little bastards up there spent it didn't I?

—Man like forget it… she'd undone the shirt's button sinking back, dug in its pocket —I mean those must be some fairies.

—Didn't mean just meant…

—I mean forget it!

—Just meant something just, just trying to hold onto something just…

—Like go hold onto it then! She sifted out a fold of white paper, stretching back —I mean go hold onto your Tootsie Roll man like I mean you're going to end up …

—Didn't, end up … he braced an elbow, got his feet closer —sniff what I think you're sniffing wake up with a bloody nose…

—Man like doesn't everybody? I mean gluing that quarter out there typing this great book with no paper in the fucking typewriter I mean you're, you're going to wake up like Schramm coming up the…

—What… he steadied against Thomas Register coming up —what, coming up what…

—Like you don't want to know, man.

—What coming up what…

—Man you don't want to know! watch your, I mean if you make me spill this…

—Wait wait listen … he tripped against Hoppin' With Flavor! —don't move listen…

—I hear it man it's the fucking telephone I mean go answer it.

—Told you wrong number listen!

—Look man the phone's not up there it's in the other…

—Quick toward the window move you're the aerial listen …! Tonic Water Twist Cap capsized into Won't Burn, Smoke or Smell as he gained the plateau of Musical Couriers —little further listen!

—Man I have to answer it maybe it's…

—Don't move …! he was gone between 24-10 Pad Pkgs and 48 No 1 Cans Beef Gravy —there!

—Look I'm answering it man maybe it's my…

—Bastards!

—Bastards you ow … ! he caught his head, came down pounding Trade Extra 1909 slipped against 2 Dozen 57 The World's Largest Selling Ketchup and kicked, got the mop handle —bastards!

The mop handle flailed, he plunged it down, pounded —can't play the whole symphony can't even play the whole God damned scherzo bastards … ! Musical Courier 1911 skidded offside, he twisted, pounded, kicked against 24-10 Pad Pkgs forced a knee against it, forced the other against 48 No 1 Cans Beef Gravy and sank further, tried a shoulder against the abrupt decline of 2 Dozen 57 The World's Largest Selling Ketchup, fought a hand out —ooph! Trade Extra broke against a rib — bastards… !

—Man like what's happening in here are you up there? I mean it sounds like the whole fucking place is going through to the cellar what happened.

—Shot the pianist.

—Like it's his boss on the phone I mean Bast's, like I mean he's really strung out man you coming down?

—Can't.

—Look he said he heard this Mister Grynszpan's here he wants to

talk to him man I mean he wants to talk to anybody … she got over the collision of Tonic Water Twist Cap, brought moccasins up on it settling back —like go talk to him man I mean you know what's with Grynszpan… she tapped the paper crease, held it up —I mean he's

really strung out in there like he's yelling like you don't know if he's

laughing or crying kitty kitty kitty? I mean he must be some creep, kitty kitty? Is he up there man? Chairman Meow is he up there… ? her free hand scratched where it fell —like he's probably so scared we won't see him for a month, man? I mean what are you doing up there.

—Peruse this fine volume… Trade Extra's cracked leather spine sailed over NO DEPOSIT to hit the clock, the second hand fled into NO RETURN —armchair traveler God damned exciting journey no obligation … paper tore. —The music of the world is free to all. How's that.

—Like I mean I could really tell them man, you know? I mean like why should I have to be this fucking model just because this spaced out

ten year old said I will, I mean I'm the one that ought to write this book you know?

—For those whom classic pieces interest, Scarlatti, Bach, Haydn and old Handel have written oratorios and fugues how's that.

—Like I tell all my friends and I really break my ass when I get out of school like I take this charm course and how to do makeup and all and I mean then they're all getting pissed off buying Vogue when I'm like never in it and I'm like nothing you know?

—Unhappy Schubert speaks to them in the sweet tones of Rosa- munde. Beethoven, master of masters, thrills alike the listeners and the performer of his Appassionata or beautiful Fifth Symphony…

—And then I mean I finally figure out like all this time I'm trying to be it I really hate this fucking model I always said I'll be, you know?

—Chopin bemoans the fate of Poland in his nocturnes or breathes the fiery valor of his countrymen in Polonaise…

—like I mean you forget how you know? I mean like hating all these wise-ass generals and fucked up presidents we get and like these banks and faceless reverend garbage peels and asshole politicians I mean it's just this big drag and like you forget, you know? I mean like really how to hate?

—For other tastes great Wagner comes and, lifting them aloft above the clouds, transports them to the mighty Halls of old Walhalla, in Ride of Walküres, or takes them to the cool, green depths of classic Rhine in Nibelungen Ring…

—I mean like when I finally find out I'm fine like just who I am, and I mean this model I always said I'll be like I find out all this time I really hate her you know? I mean I'm breaking my ass and she's like making me hate who I really am, you know?

—The Pianola is the universal means of playing the piano.

—I mean I could write this book people would read, you know?

—Universal, because there is no one in all the world, having the use of hands and feet, who could not learn to use it with but little effort.

—Like I mean I'd communicate, you know?

—The striking of the notes of the selection, in proper time and place, is no concern of the player. This is correctly done by perforated rolls of paper…

—Man you glued that quarter out there, I mean didn't you … ? She creased the paper closed coming forward —I mean this fucking lamp… she yanked it, hand fallen fumbling arm's length in the dark where she stretched back. —Like listen to the water in there I mean I'm like I'm floating, man? you're still up there… ?

—I mean listen it's getting closer listen. Man? Like I mean we could all drownd and nobody would even know it listen! I mean it's getting

closer man I can't see are you up there? Man like my feet are caught in, help! Man like we're tipping over help! Where's, here kitty kitty it's this big fucking storm Bast are you up there help! my feet are caught help!

I can't, man I mean it's so deep I can't, man it's so warm I mean it's running all down, oh wow, oh wow… and the torrents at sink and tub seemed to rise in the dark swollen by the sound of rain driven against the glass, where light came finally graying a sunless day. —Man like I'm having this nosebleed can you bring me something… ? she waited up on an elbow, hand to her face —I mean are you still up there… ? and she kicked free the knotted blanket, each step a bright splash on the fall of envelopes and pasted notes and letterheads, Modern Packaging, Financial World, over the collision of Tonic Water Twist Cap past 200 2- Ply where she caught up a damp wad of shirt to her nose —wow who dumped all the, man are you under there… ? her free hand swiped through the billow of suds, rose pulling off her shirt and dropped to scratch her leg spread poised at the tub's edge to kick off a moccasin — who's, man is that you… ?

The door shuddered. —Got a delivery…

—Like who's stopping you…

It sagged in —look I been here before I'm trying to deliver a truck- load of where are you anyways…

—Where does it look like… she batted the rise of suds from a shoulder, —I mean what are you staring at, deliver your delivery…

—Thousand gross plastic flowers down there look, how you expect me to get a thousand gross plastic flowers in here you…

—Man like who said I expect you to do anything? Like I mean that's your problem, I mean you're supposed to be this big delivering man do it how they told you in delivering man school, okay… ? The shirt wad came up wet abruptly jostling pebbled pinks from the suds —I mean look man at least can you quit standing there pulling your pork and like answer the telephone? No I mean look it's like right up there behind you…

—The, oh … hello… ? want the, who… ?

—Like who is it I mean if it's for me I'm expecting this imp…

—Somebody says where's the boss at says he supposed to be in court…

—Like tell them to fuck off I mean I'm expecting this very important wow, like I mean what's this Macy's window?

—What in, look who the hell are you what are you doing here

where's…

—Man he's answering the telephone I mean what does it look like he's doing here, I mean…

—But what, where's Jack what's…

—Like how do I know where's Jack and I mean who's that, like I mean what am I supposed to be some fucking sideshow?

—Who's what wait, wait who are you…

—Yes you're Mister Grynszpan? I have a summons here for …

—Look damn it I'm not Mister Grynszpan my name's Eigen, now what the hell's…

—Oh, this Mister Grynszpan on the phone then? Here you are sir, US District Court Southern District BMT take you right there, now Mister Bast? One here for you from the United States…

—Man look at these I mean do I look like Mister anybody? I mean get out everybody get out of here!

—Sure you're not Mister Bast either sir? I have a subpoen…

—I'm damn sure yes now get out of here you too, get down from that phone and get the hell watch that door! Look where's, what are you doing here where's wait you're the, your name was Rhoda wasn't it you…

—Like what do you mean was and I mean what are you staring at, what does it look like I'm doing man I mean look hang that telephone back up I'm expecting this important call and I mean that door, like push something against it before he gets that stuff in here…

—What stuff who…

—This delivering man I mean he's like delivering this thousand plastic flowers, like I mean can't you hear he's knocking the fucking stairs down out there…