Just A Bit Of Trust (Constel·lación #1) (6 page)

When Vivian got to her room, she went into the bathroom. She turned on the shower, stripped her clothes. She quickly brushed her teeth and stepped into the hot shower. She let the water run down her back, her mind racing, the questions in her head causing it to pound. Once she was done, she wrapped a towel around her hair and took another one from the rack and put it around her body. She put on her underwear and bra and stepped into her room. When she walked into her room, she found her mom and Maxine, sitting on the bed, her half-sister, Paka on the dressing table chair and Annais on the leather stool at the foot of her bed. Michelle quickly helped Vivian into her dress in silence.

Paka took her large makeup bag, removed her brushes and primer and started applying it to Vivian’s face. Facials, Brow Tinting, different brands of makeup, eyelash extensions, you name it, Vivian had tried it all. It left her skin feeling like an oil refinery. It was a heavy burden to carry.
Literally.
It was a habit that had drained her monthly allowance and disqualified her from being low maintenance. In her late teens, she had abandoned her makeup bag, plucked, prodded, massaged and started smothering her skin in the most decadent products. It had done wonders for her skin.

Her daily beauty routine consisted of washing her face, rubbing a face cream on her face or maybe plucking an eyebrow or two and then heading out of the door. The closest she came to wearing makeup in a long time was a tube of tinted lip balm that she had kept in her purse at all times.

Paka watched her sister’s expressions as she applied her makeup. Vivian and Michelle had been nothing but supportive ever since they had found out about her. Her father didn’t even acknowledge her at all. On this rare occasion; she was allowed to enter the white house without hiding. Maybe this is what she needed
. A change of planet
. Paka almost laughed out loud. Her job was to look pretty, and physicality was part of her job description. It was starting to niche on her psyche. At Annamarie Cosmetics, she was the first thing everyone saw when people glided through those doors. A full face of makeup and immaculate hair was expected daily.

She hated her job. Every day she had to remind herself that this was not permanent. She will be graduating soon. Each night she came home, she felt wrong.
Uneasy
. Each time she thought about going to work, she felt physically sick. She hated that feeling. It was nothing her work had done. They had laid down the rules in training; she expected it. She just wasn’t cut from the proper fabric to handle a job like that. Some of the girls seemed to enjoy it. She felt so lost and stuck. Heck, it paid the bills; it was hard to stay afloat trying to pay for her tuition. She just hoped she was making the right choice by abandoning all and following her sister to Constel·lació.

The only thing she liked was her star-trek inspired uniform. It sure was sexy. Paka resisted the urge to laugh out loud,again.

“Vivian, don’t worry in all romantic movies, the heroine starts out in a bad place. In Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts was a freaken hooker. Worse, it is in the beginning, the happier the ending. ”Paka finally broke the silence in the room.

“Don’t let those movies get to your head. That is just a modern version of Cinderella. And Cinderella is nothing but a fairy tale.” Maxine plugged the curling iron.

Vivian was startled by Annais’ comforting touch on her shoulder. “As his sister, Didac might appear hard and unbending because he takes his responsibilities seriously. As a woman, I am sure with the right motivation; he can be accommodating.”

Okay.

Annais watched confusion cloud Vivian’s expression.” I can see you are perplexed by my words. I have lived a long life, Vivian. I know that a man can be a good brother and a bad mate at the same time. Didac is a good male by all accounts, one thing I know is that he would never intentionally harm you whether it is emotionally or physically, you have to understand each other so you can coexist together. And these things take time, and I have complete confidence that once you become acquitted with his personality, you will learn to love him.”

“I just hope you are right,” Vivian responded.

“I would never lie to you. I just hope you realize that the struggles we go through as women transcend every species.” Annais reassured Vivian.

Vivian intently stared at Annais. The unhypocritical statement made Vivian feel so much better.

Paka looked at Maxine. ”I am done with her makeup; you can start doing her hair.”

Paka started cleaning her makeup brushes as Maxine worked on Vivian’s hair. She sighed and looked up dreamingly. “Did you see those alien men down there? They are so handsome. Serious…… tall……. Muscled..…. Sexy…. I have never been surrounded by such virility before.”

“Can’t you think of anything else besides sex? Everything you say has bedroom connotations.” Maxine stated

“Experience has taught me that a man is a man. They all want sex any way they can get it. The rest you work it out.”

“There we go again! Please don’t take advice from a girl who sleeps with anything that moves.” Max said.

Paka didn’t look insulted, contrary to popular belief that wasn’t true.” Come on Vivian, stop looking so sad. It’s not like you are marrying some fat general with large sweat stains under his arms who will force you to satisfy his ugly desires. Did you see your husband to be? Isn’t he fine? If the thought of him over and under you does not turn you on, something is definitely wrong with you.”

Annais and Michelle felt so old listening to the young women talk, but they couldn’t resist smiling.

“I guess he is okay,” Vivian said shyly.

“Okay! Are you kidding me?”

“I guess he has a nice butt.” Vivian's face broke into a smile.

“Is that all? Let your mind wander.”

“He looks so strong and big.”

“You are getting warmer. Come on, and a woman can appreciate the beauty of a man without feeling embarrassed and ashamed.”

Vivian’s pale skin turned red. ”Paka.” She whined.

“Was that bad?”

Everyone in the room broke into laughter.

“Girls, focus. We have to be downstairs in less than fifteen minutes. ”Michelle tried to keep a straight face.

Maxine's eyes glistened with tears. ”Okay group hug. I am going to miss you guys. Call me.”

“No crying, you will ruin your makeup.” Michelle resisted the urge to cry too. She ran her hands over Vivian’s last minute bridal dress. It was a classic short, sleeveless dress with an empire waist that accentuated her figure.  “You look so lovely, dear. The lace is so beautiful and soft.”

“What do I do now, mom?” Vivian sounded desperate.

She felt like a fraud. Being a bride was the closest thing possible to living out every girl’s childhood fantasy of being a princess. Finding the perfect prince, putting on the perfect wedding pageant and live happily ever after. It was an alluring story. How could it not be?

Vivian’s marriage to Didac was a conscious way out of an awkward situation perpetrated by her father, and usually, that didn’t have the staying power that came with mature love, shared values and a commitment to the future of two mature adults. She had hoped that her daughter would marry for love. She trusted Didac’s word to keep her daughter safe, but she was still worried.

“I know everything looks blink right now, but Didac seems like a supportive, well balanced and stable guy. He seems protective. He is nothing like your father, Vivian.”

“Supportive! Well balanced! Stable! You sound like you are describing a chair.” Vivian laughed scornfully and shouted, “Stop! Just stop mama.”

Everyone looked stunned at Vivian’s outburst.

“What do you want me to do, Vivian. “

“I am ashamed of you, Just look at you, I can’t take it anymore. What does everything have to be so prissy?”

Michelle looked surprised. She had no idea her daughter felt that way. “What do you mean? I tried…………”

“Not hard enough.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You never stood up for yourself. You made it seem alright for him to beat you. You let him humiliate you. How come you couldn’t be the woman you tried to make me?” Vivian cried.

Michelle slapped her hard on the face. “Damn it!”

Everything she had ever done was for her children. She wouldn’t be the woman she was if she had left their care to Martin. “You are so perfect, and you would look down on me. I handled my responsibility the best way I knew how under the circumstances. You are old enough to know how things work around here.”

Michelle sat down on the bed. ”When I first met your father, I was only seventeen years old, my heart stopped, I ceased breathing, and nothing mattered. I took his fists because I loved him. Then I had you and your brother, I could have left, but I didn’t because he would have taken you away from me. I did everything I could to protect you. I’m so sorry, Vivian………… if I could do anything different I would. This is not what I imagined for you or Michael……………. How do you think I survived without giving up on life? Every day I would wake up and hate the light and wish I was dead because I was stuck in a situation I couldn’t get out of. Every time I got tired of life, I would think about you and your brother that made me want to go on. Hoping and wishing that something would happen and I would be able to take you away from all this.”

Annais opened herself to absorb the feelings in the room. She didn’t have to try hard. Even if these women looked more composed outside than on the inside, they had no control over their emotions. Though never been a victim of abuse herself, her empathetic nature allowed her to feel first hand what victims felt. The emotions in the room were suffocating her. It took her a lot of effort to muffle her choking. Paka, though untrusting was excited, Vivian, unsure, perhaps, of what the future held, Maxine, skeptical and Michelle, broken but they all shared one emotion.
Fear
. An all too familiar feeling.

“Don’t do this to yourself or your mother. I have felt the evil in your father. Sometimes life does not give you choices. Your mom loves you, and I can feel that you love her too.  You might not see her for a long time. She has chosen to remain behind with your father, are those the last words you want to remember to have said to her?” Annais intervened.

“I am so sorry mama; I didn’t mean it, I’m so afraid.”

“I am afraid too baby if anything ever happened to you, I couldn’t take it. I wish things could be different.”

“I know.Me too. Whatever happens, I promise to be strong.”

“That’s my girl.”

A loud knock on the door interrupted them.

“Didac wants you to come down now.” A voice Annais recognized as Primo’s sounded through the door.

“We will be down in five minutes,” Annais shouted back.

“You better hurry; Didac is not looking too pleased right now.” Primo’s retreating footsteps could be heard through the door.

“One more thing…” Michelle opened the box on the bed, took out a veil and securely placed it on Vivian’s head. ”You will be the most beautiful bride.

Michelle appreciated that her mother was trying to make this farce of a wedding as normal as possible. ”Thank you, mom.”

"Do you remember when you were young?" That was before Bradford had corrupted her children. "You took a lace curtain and pretended you were getting married.”

"Mum, I was only six."

Michelle cried. "Now you are doing it for real

"No, don’t cry. If you cry, I will cry too."

"I am so sorry."

“Me too.”

Vivian ‘s heart was thumping so hard when she emerged thirty minutes later in her last minute bridal gown. She placed her arm around her father’s as she scanned the conference room. The tables had been removed, and the room was arranged with the smell of flowers filling the room. A dozen of Didac’s soldiers were seated on her left, her father’s delegates, sister, mother, and brother on her right.

As the music began, she tried to focus her eyes on the priest and the elder that Didac had insisted be there as she walked towards Didac’s enormous graceful form. Didac was dressed in a black military uniform just like his men, yet he had an elegance that could not be explained.

Vivian pasted a smile on her face, which turned into a grimace. Her toes were throbbing in pain. Vivian wiggled her toes, but the heels didn’t leave her enough room. This wedding had better be fast before she found herself crippled for life.

High Heel Heaven.

When she had left her room, she had felt like the personification of glamor only to be reduced to a hobbling kyphosis before the wedding had even begun. The soft gel cushions, her sister had suggested did not lessen the pain.  Why the hell did she even bother? It wasn’t like she was excited to marry him. The temptation to remove her heels and walk barefoot was almost irresistible, but she wasn’t keen on dirt or bacteria. The only dirt these feet were going to have an affair with was sand.

Ziza, the elder from the House of Amor, was administering the ceremony. Didac anticipation made his palms sweat. He watched as his mate walked towards him to the altar. His heart skipped. Her transformation was breathtaking. She was beautiful but still so unsure. He took her small hands in his and looked into those eyes and a deep sense of peace settled within him.

“We gather today as planets, inspired by the union of this couple. Tonight we honor the unification of the two present bloodlines. With this union, we choose to embrace Vivian’s human nature. With this union, Didac will share his unique gifts.”Ziza’s angelic voice filled the quiet room. He placed a lit candle in their joined hands. ”And now your vows?”

“I pledge to honor and defend you and yours above all. I will be your comfort and sanctuary as we both shall live, to share in everything, to be your advocate and champion, to be your family.” Didac turned around to look at his soldiers.” Our joining today will seal the loyalty of all the Constel·lacións to you, you will be Queen to an army who will protect you as their own. Long live the Queen.”

“Long live the Queen. We pledge our lives to you and yours.” The soldiers stood up and bowed in unison.

Vivian was speechless. This reminded her of her Sorority pledge which was time-consuming with a lot of drama involved. And just like it, she knew she was on a time trial; the only difference was that quitting the marriage wasn’t going to be that easy. After a few moments, she realized that everyone was waiting for her vows. ”Um, um, I'm a little nervous because I have no idea what I’m going  to say, I was not given enough time to think of what I was going to say, and I'm somewhat uncomfortable being the center of attention, okay.” Everybody in the room chuckled.” I hope to become more than just your wife; I want to be your friend and your confidante.” Vivian shrugged her shoulders. ”I guess this is the easy part, saying our vows right? The hardest part is the future ahead. I make no promises, but this; I will try to be the best wife I could be.” Vivian looked at Ziza, and the Minister administering the wedding nervously hoping she had done justice to her vows. ”That’s it.” She said with a shrug to her ‘not so thin but looked it next to Didac’ shoulders. Laughter charged the room. ”You can skip the “I do” part.”

“The only remaining thing is “Didac you may kiss your bride.” The earth elder which Didac recalled Michelle refer to as the Minister said.

Vivian closed her eyes and turned her face up to receive a peck on the lips totally unprepared for what happened next.

Didac looked down at his mate face with suppressed laughter. Apparently, on Mother Earth, weddings were not over unless they were sealed with a kiss. By her upturned face, Didac was sure she expected a peck on the lips. He was not having any of that. Didac wanted to give her the kiss of her life. He deposited his palms around her waist and pulled her gently to him. Vivian stepped into his arms. Didac leaned down and took her lips between his teeth and bit down gently to get her attention. Startled, Vivian opened her eyes and her lips slightly. Didac took the opportunity and slid his tongue into her mouth.

Vivian felt Didac’s warm breath on her face. That was incredible. She put her arms around his neck to hold herself up and hesitantly returned the kiss. Didac tasted of pure sin. Her tongue began to explore the interior walls of his mouth. She felt his palms move up her spine to pull her closer against his chest. A soft moan broke from her lips as they battled their lips together. She angled her head to the side to deepen the kiss.

The earthy smell from his mate almost made him lose control. Didac terminated their kiss abruptly before the urge to place his hands on her derriere to his growing erection dominated him. He kept her close to hide his groin from the looking crowd.

********

A few hours later Vivian found herself sitting between Didac and Annais in the dining room of their spaceship. The inside of the spaceship was not as extravagant as she had imagined, but she was surprised at how enormous it was when viewed from the outside.   She had been introduced to everybody on their table, but  could hardly remember everybody’s name. Paka sat next to a man she recalled as Agostino, and she seemed to be having a good time. Michael sat next to Bernat, and they appeared to be bonding well. The only person, who wasn’t having fun, was her. She didn’t have much of an appetite. She just sat there sipping on the glass of the blue liquid which tasted like alcohol, oblivious to the conversation around the table.

Vivian took the time to examine her new husband as he spoke to the men around the table. He looked so carefree around them; it was different from the way he was with other people. It led her to believe that these people were his trusted friends. His square jaw combined with his midnight black hair gave him a dangerous look. His thick lashes accentuated his green almond eyes which were set under his dramatically thin eyebrow. His perfectly pointed nose was above his uneven lips, which were curled in a smile that would make women swoon. Her eyes traveled down his neck to the arm that was draped behind her chair. He had removed his jacket; the short sleeves did nothing to hide his bulging muscles and detailed tattoos. Vivian inhaled. Paka was right; Didac was strikingly handsome. Vivian smiled as she recalled Paka’s description of him before the wedding.

Didac enjoyed the camaraderie of the conversation around the table. Everybody seemed happy that the war was finally over and couldn’t wait to get home, all the time aware of the scrutiny from his mate.

Didac turned to look at her unexpectedly and caught her smile. “To what do I owe the pleasure of that smile?” Her smile faded quickly.

Vivian diverted her eyes around the table. It felt awkward to be caught staring. She cleared her throat. “Just something my sister said earlier.”
About you
. She wasn’t about to tell him that.

“Would you care to share?”

“Not really.”

After an awkward silence "So tell me about yourself?”

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

Vivian laughed softly. It was too broad a question for one to answer.

'I like to listen to your laugh; I don’t hear enough laughter when I walk into a room everybody is proper and cautious."  Except for his family and friends.

"Maybe they are awed by your Royalty. “He just cocked his eyebrows in an answer and Vivian stumbled to continue. "I know I am. I am indeed awed by you.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I find myself wanting to look dignified in your presence."

"You don’t need to be nothing but yourself."

"That might be hard. We are just strangers that happen to be married." She avoided his eyes.

Didac moved the hand draped around her chair and put his palm on the back of her neck which caused her to look up into his eyes. “I would like to change that."

"These things take time. “She lowered her eyes.

'Time I have."

She looked away. “A man in your position cannot afford to waste his time. It is a valuable commodity.”

“I wouldn’t call taking my time to know you wasteful. Time is expendable if I enjoy wasting it.”

“Time like people is expendable.”

Didac was sad. How could one so young be cynical about everything? Humans lived in a world where physical items were disposable therefore it was hard for them to overcome their disposable practices and not have them apply to people. People could not be thrown away like that. ”There is a widespread belief among humans that people are expendable, but you will see that in Constel·lació we do not believe so.”

“If you have lived the life I have lived, you wouldn’t place so much trust in words.”

“My word is my bond. I might say hurtful words in fits of anger, but I always keep my word.”

“Time will tell.”

Didac smile reflected Vivian’s. ”It’s back to time again.”

A comfortable silence settled between them.

All of a sudden, he wanted to know. "What was your first impression of me?”

Vivian almost laughed. The man was built like a god and had self-esteem issues? "Does it matter?"

"Of course, it matters."

"I don’t find you repulsive if that’s what you want to know." She smiled with a twinkle in her eyes. ”I am sure lots of women want to be with you. I mean just look at you.”

“That may be true,” Didac’s lips curved with conceit at her words.” But there is only one woman I want to want me.”

“I am no beauty. I am sure your people would agree. Every man wants a beautiful woman on their arm.” Vivian considered herself average.

“There is more to beauty than your looks.”

The answer did not appease Vivian. ”I do not hear you deny my statements.”

“I can spend hours showing you and telling you how beautiful you are, but if you don’t believe in yourself, my efforts will be wasted. To answer your question: If you were evil, my sister would have felt it. Your heart confirmed what my eyes saw when they landed on you. You are a vision to behold.”

Vivian giggled to cover her discomfort. The conversation was making her nervous. It would be easy to fall for a man who spoke about their thoughts and feelings without any reservations.

“Did I say something funny?” Didac asked.

“Not in the least. I do that a lot when I feel nervous or uncomfortable. I am not used to men who talk like you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You talk so openly about your thoughts and feelings. It is not done in my father’s house; it is a weakness, so my father has said.”

“Get used to it. Most of my people have no such reservations except when they speak to me, but I encourage them to express themselves because every one of us has the ability to feel and smell certain emotions, some more than others including myself.”

“Then I feel honored that you have not used your abilities on me.” Hiding what she felt had helped her survive her father.

“You make it easy because you cannot block yourself. But I would never try to use anyone’s feelings against them. The worst I could do is placate them.”

Vivian laughed.

“Did I say something funny again?”

“No, but you have a way with words.”

“I mean every one of them.”

Vivian did not reply, but continued nonetheless. ”I think you don’t smile and laugh enough. You should try it sometime.”

"Now that you are in my life, I will have a reason to.” Didac inhaled. This time, her smile touched him in so many ways. It reached her eyes. He couldn’t resist the urge to lean in and brush his lips against hers.

"You are making me shy."

"There is no need for you to be shy. It’s natural for couples to show affection towards each other."

"But everyone is watching.”

"Your father is an important man in your world; naturally, I assumed that is something you are used to."

"You would think so." Vivian's eyes shadowed with sadness. How could someone get used to that? Just because someone was famous, it didn’t mean that their privacy was thrown out the window.  Having an abusive and controlling father was hard enough, pretending to be happy in the public eye when your life was falling apart was even harder. No one left her alone. No matter how antisocial she got, the paparazzi loved to stalk her. Sometimes it was so hard to keep her sneer remarks that reflected the disgust resonating from the depths of her soul. Princess Diana was proof of that. “The media on Mother Earth is not as forgiving.They stalk and harass you just to get any information from you.”

“You would never have to go through that in Constel·lació. We do not have what you people call the paparazzi here.”

“I hope so.” Vivian stood up, took the champagne bottle that she had taken with her from Mother Earth, ”Excuse me.”, And she walked out of the dining room.

*******

Didac had smelt the change in her mood, so did everyone in the room. Didac was happy that she was finally opening up. What had gone wrong? His eyes followed her as she exited and everybody tried not to look. His first inclination was to follow her, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. His eyes moved to the hand up to his sister’s eyes. Cautionary advice was written all over them.