Just A Bit Of Trust (Constel·lación #1) (9 page)

“She has to understand that I have a responsibility to my people and have to make sure that they are safe and protected.” As much as he tried to convince himself, those words left an almost bitter taste in his mouth.

“That is true. You may be stressed and angry, but you do not take it on your mate if you want a good mating.” Primo said. ”She was willing to forgive you on the spot; it was written all over her face. The only thing you had to do was just make that heartfelt apology.”

“I cannot take advice from unmated males.”

“I may be unmated, but I know women.” Primo said, scrunching his face.” They want to feel appreciated, loved, respected, protected and that entire stuff.”

“You make it sound like a bad thing.” Kugawa frowned at Primo. ”Men want the same thing too.”

“Spoken like a true man.” Primo nudged Kugawa on the shoulder.

“Would you stop touching me?” It was more a directive than a question from Kugawa

“If you behaved like a lady, I wouldn’t have to.”

“Stop this, why do you keep going at each other like this?” Bernat interjected

“It’s like some sort of perverted compulsion. It’s like a week old
ilet
, you know it’s bad, but you have to smell it.” Kugawa shrugged her shoulders.

Primo laughed softly. ”I know what you mean. Your wit is devastating. You know what's going on here. Is it possible that underneath all those layers of animosity that we feel for each other lies a bit of respect perhaps dare I even say affection?”

“You wish.” Kugawa snorted.

“If you want to insult me just remember I used to sleep with you.” Primo’s emotions bubbled up.

“Nothing compared to the horror of waking up with you.”  Kugawa put in.

“Oh shit, I thought I smelt Kugawa on you man, but I wasn’t sure.” Severus put in.

Everyone lifted their eyebrows at “oh shit” for Severus. It was not even in their vocabulary, but Paka had changed all that.

“How could you?” Kugawa accusatory tone was directed at Primo. ”Laying it all in front of everybody.”

“You forced me to.” 

Kugawa’s nonchalant attitude after the best night of his life made Primo angry and hurt. How could she ignore him and pretend like nothing ever happened? He honestly thought they had something. Only to find out he had been used.

“Well, I guess there is nothing to be said here.” Kugawa disappointed look pierced everybody’s heart. She appeared tough because she worked with men, but she was very much a female when it came to her emotions.

“Don’t you turn your back on me,” Primo said as Kugawa turned to leave. ”You used me.”

“You live and learn.” Kugawa counteracted.

“The problem with you is you never let a male take control.”

“I have seen where that could take me, and I don’t want to go there.” That was the most heartfelt statement that Primo had ever heard from Kugawa.

“I am not that male. I want to love you and take care of you.” Primo’s voice shook with emotion. When Kugawa wasn’t trying to be tough, she was soft, and Primo had glimpsed the potential she had to make any male happy if she wasn’t keeping her guard up and he wanted to be that male. He had caught her smiling at him when he was almost asleep like she cared. He stepped forward and engulfed her neck in his palm.

“I am sorry Primo; I cannot be the female you desire. I enjoyed the time we spent together, but I just cannot find it within me to feel what you feel for me.”  Kugawa placed her hand on his wrist and rubbed the back of his palm with her other hand.

Primo dropped his hand, and Kugawa let go. Rejection and the look on her face before she turned around and left haunted Primo.

“How many times have I stressed this? No fraternizing in the workplace.” Didac broke the silence in the room.

“Come on, just look at her,” Primo whined in his guiltiness.

“You can look without touching.” Esteve always an exhibition of decorum uttered his opinion.

“She made it hard for me.” Primo continued stubbornly.

“Just grow up, man. Beautiful women are everywhere; it doesn’t mean you have to sleep with every one of them. If you don’t make things right with Kugawa, I will be forced to make a decision on who stays with the team.” Didac tone was serious.

“I understand boss, but I think I love her.” Primo looked regretful. “I hope things will get better between you and your mate. I meant what I said in the most sincere way.”

“I know Primo.” Didac placed a reassuring hand on Primo.

“That’s rough. “ Bernat focus looked absent.

Didac cocked his eyebrows at Bernat and left the control room

.

Sweet Destiny.
What was he going to do to bridge the rift he had caused between him and his new mate? Didac had planned the destiny of others without a problem, yet he didn’t know what do with his mate; who was just one female. His confidence deserted him every time he got close to her. It was driving him insane.

He paced in his room.
Overthinking
.

He was Didac; the most powerful man in the solar system. He could just carry her back to his living quarters and demand that she see the logic, but somehow he knew that wasn’t going to work.

What was he to do?

Without thinking, he exited his room and went to his sister’s. Annais was always the voice of reason for him and his people.

Before Didac knocked, Annais opened her door to him.

“How did you know I was at the door?” Didac smiled sadly at his sister because he already knew what she was going to say.

“You forget that I am an Empath, Didac. Your feelings are all over the place; even the others can feel you.”

“I am sorry to burden you with my feelings; I cannot help it. I am confused, Annais. What do you suggest I do?”

“Apologize,” Annais stated flatly.

“ Apologize? How do you know that is what she desires?”

Annais laughed softly. Sometimes men were so dense.” She told you that is what she wanted, didn’t she?’

“I thought-“

“Don’t overthink. Take what she told you at face value.”

“You know it is hard for me to apologize, I can only show her how sorry I am.”

“I did not take you for a narcissist, brother.”

“You wound me, Annais, you know I am not. Men and women view apologizing differently.”

“I am aware of that. There is no ego in love, my brother. If you learn to apologize, the benefits will be greater for you and the people around you. Relationships are strengthened and weakened by the small actions we take and the communications we share with each other.”

“Didac inhaled and watched his sister’s shining silver eyes. “I have been neglecting my duties as a mate and as a leader.” He said gratefully. “Thank you, Annais. What would I do without you?”

“Absolutely nothing.” Annais smiled playfully.

Didac smiled back.” Who was talking about ego a moment ago?”

Annais smiled faded slowly, and she took Didac’s hand in hers. ”It is not easy to love an abused soul. It will be easy to lose her if you are not careful.”

His sister was right. She was always right.

“The good thing is that the elements of her upbringing did not destroy her very essence. She has a beautiful aura. It brims with vibrant vitality.” Annais continued. ”What she wants is to build a home with you among people who will love and care for her as much as she cares for them. She is not asking for much.”

“I will endeavor to fulfill her desires in life the best I know how.” Didac squeezed the back of his neck to relieve the tension. ”Ones I don’t know how to explain this to you, but I know my life will not be complete without her. When I first saw her, and she looked in my eyes, I felt a deep soul attraction, and it was a sort of instant knowing of my destiny, a gush of exuberance coaxed inside of me.”

“You are my brother; our connection is unyielding. I have felt what you have felt and understand more than anybody else. We have lived long lives and as an ambassador, I have been to so many planets. I have seen leaders rise and fall, and one thing I know is, no matter how strong and powerful a man becomes, it is nothing if you have no one to share it with.”

The idea of immortality was fascinating to mere mortals, but not to him.
Especially without a mate. It was lonely. He had to do something.

****

“This has gone on for far too long, sis. Just forgive the man; he looks remorseful enough to me. His eyes say it all when he looks at you.” Paka sat across Vivian at the dining room of the spaceship.

“That’s not enough; I want him to say it to me. If I give in, our relationship will be uncommunicative. I want a man who I can talk to and who can talk to me instead of getting angry or silent. I want to look in his eyes when he says it so I know he means it.” Vivian told Paka

“Women.” Michael sighed. “Why can’t you all think like men? Life would be much easier. Men find it hard to apologize; it makes them look weak and incompetent. For him to admit he is wrong makes him feel diminished in your eyes. His actions speak louder than words.”

“So his pride is more important than my feelings?” Vivian was horrified by Michael’s words.

“Ouch, this may hurt sis, but yeah.”

Paka smacked Michael at the back of the head.” You are starting to resemble your father both in words and in action.”

Michael’s playful nature deflated.” I am nothing like him.”

“So where do you get this kind of thinking?” Paka asked him.

“You wanted a man’s opinion, and I gave you one. Next time I am keeping my lips sealed.”

“It’s okay Michael; I don’t have always to take your advice.” Vivian touched his arm.” I don’t believe what you say. This kind of behavior is self-taught; it has nothing to do with being a man. It is just another way to enforce bad behavior and patriarchy.”

“He is not such a bad guy.” If Didac only knew that Michael was making pleas on his behalf.

“I know, but this will not change my thoughts on this. I plan to stay strong and not relent.”

“I have to go.” Paka pushed out her abruptly and headed towards Agostino when she spotted him across, sitting with his fellow aliens across the room.

Before Vivian saw him, she felt him. It was weird, and she didn’t understand it. Okay, she did, the bond and memories they had shared made her aware. The closer he got to her, the more she felt him. Her heart raced faster. Ripped in two.

A fragment of her heart craved him so bad, and she looked forward to seeing Didac and another part wanted to stay angry. She just sat there, trying real hard not to turn around and watch his graceful form.

Oh, but she did.

It was a given that she was going to look. He was a man, a
hot-blooded man
. A beautiful one at that.

Didac placed his tray next to hers. ”Good morning Vivian.”

She looked at the gloriously handsome silhouette of her husband and almost forgave him on the spot. She murmured an almost inaudible greeting back. And their gazes collided.

This was good. Vivian thought. He hadn’t attempted to eat with her the whole week.

Didac pulled out a chair next to her and sat.” Michael.”

“Didac.” Michael’s laughter radiated in his eyes and he squared his shoulders like Didac. Didac’s serious expression caused Michael to bolt.” I’m just gonna go, ok.”

Didac cast his mate’s composed profile an appraisal. She had been avoiding him since the confrontation in the control room, and whenever he happened to be in her vicinity, she didn’t acknowledge him either. He had little and even lacked the experience of being ignored by anyone especially by a woman. He had been compelled to use his gifts to know what she was thinking or feeling, but something had told him, she would feel violated. So here he was.

“I’m sorry.” There he said, and it felt so much better.

“You hurt me.” Vivian’s voice almost broke.

“I know you are hurting. I cannot stand to see you like this.”

“Everything is such a mess, Didac. One day there is a war, I found myself married and whisked away on a spaceship to God know where on the same day. I am excited and petrified all at once.” Vivian’s tear dribbled to her cheek down her upper lip.

Didac wiped the tear with his thumb and more tears joined it. He moved his chair, put his hand around her shoulders and laid her head on his shoulder. ”Come here, just let it all out. Everything is going to be alright.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Hey, you are stronger than you think; Vivian I will do everything in my power to make sure you are alright and to make you the happiest female alive.”

“You are the only one who believes that.”

“Then I am right. I would like us to start all over again.”

Didac’s sincere face convinced her. ”We can do that.” Vivian wiped the last of her tears with the back of her hand and made a terrible attempt at continuing eating.

“Okay.”

Didac covered her hand, which was lying next to his on the table. “I know how your father treated your mother, you and your siblings and I am not that man. You are not only protected, but you are free with me.”

Vivian swallowed. ”What do you mean when you say I am free?”

Didac wanted to keep her. Badly. He was not diplomatic but this past week had taught him to choose his words wisely when speaking to his mate. “You can be the woman you have always wanted to be. You can express yourself without fear.”

Vivian’s eyes watered. This meant so much to her. Didac was more human than the inhuman humans had portrayed him. ”Thank you.”

“So we are good?” Didac wanted to make sure.

“Yes, we are good.” Vivian smiled at him.

“We can finish eating and I can give you a more thorough personal tour of the ship.”

Vivian knew that Didac hadn’t meant to be suggestive, but she couldn’t help herself. That simple statement from her new husband introduced an arousal she couldn’t contain. She had never been labeled a sex fiend, but the only encounter she had with Didac was so good. More episodes like that were welcomed.

Didac spoon stopped halfway to his mouth when he looked up at Vivian. Her scent grazed his sensitive nose.

The shimmer in her eyes was provocative as she licked her lips.” We have all day. You can be as thorough as you like.”

Didac looked to his left and his right to check who was watching. His eyes strayed to her cleavage up her neck to her eyes; his unwavering gaze was filled with promise. ”I will make you feel things no man has ever made you feel.”

If what he had done to her body on their wedding night was a demonstration, she had a distinctive feeling that he may be right.” That is just a theory that needs to be tested.”

“Don’t tease me.”

“That’s not my forte. I am a sure thing.”

“We are leaving.” Didac practically pulled her out of her chair and walked with a fluidity he didn’t feel out of the cafeteria.

They didn’t make it to Didac’s room. In her recklessness, Vivian pulled Didac in the control room and fumbled with his pants.

“Vivian, we can’t……. Damn” Didac made a weak attempt at trying to push her hands away when she started stroking him through his pants.

Vivian laughed.” That’s the first swear word I have heard from your mouth.” Vivian’s tongue touched the tip of his growing penis.

“Put it in your mouth.” Didac’s voice was deep enough to send vibrations down her spine.

He watched his cock disappear as Vivian enclosed him with her warm mouth.

Didac features changed from desire to dominance when she looked up at him on the floor on her knees. “Vivian, you undo me.”

Vivian almost laughed again. Her husband had a way with words, so did every Constel·lación she had met. They were so formal in their speech; it was funny at times.

“You like that.” Vivian gently moved her slim fingers up and down his cock.

“Yes.” Didac panted, he ground his hips against her hand. His eyes roving over her flushed cheeks, her mouth opened wider and took him deeper. He felt the back of her throat. He grabbed the back of her hand to stay her till she gagged.

Vivian relaxed her throat and held on tight to his hips when he started fucking her mouth.

“Oh!
Sweet destiny
!” Didac expelled his breath. He pulled her up and pushed her underwear over her hips.

Vivian wiggled her hips to help, and then kicked one leg and then the other to completely remove her underwear. Didac pushed her front to the wall, holding her wrist in one hand at her back. ’Open your legs wider.”

And she did. Didac moved his other hand around to her front and touched her clit. Vivian pressed her cheek against the wall and moaned. It felt so good when Didac rubbed his cock between her ass cheeks.

She stuck her ass out. ’Please fuck me already. What are you waiting for?” Vivian struggled with her words in between moans.

Didac pulled on her hair and turned her face around so they could kiss and he buried himself inside her in degrees.

“You can’t be loud; we are in the engine room.”  Didac moved slowly and bent his knees so he could bury himself profoundly into her unfathomable depths, kissing and taking small bites to her neck.

“You make it so hard.” Vivian was making an effort to muffle her moans and moved to meet his thrusts.

Didac stilled her by placing his hands on her hips and pressing his chest on her back so he could fuck her the way he wanted.

“You are so tight.” His movements were longer when he changed the angle of his thrusts.

“That’s it, baby.” Vivian cries echoed her excitement.