Just Breathe Trilogy Box Set (105 page)

We get all of my clothes that are hanging and drape them over my bed. Then, we move all my shoes and the boxes that are piled on the upper shelf. I’m surprised when Joe doesn’t comment on how many clothes or shoes I have.

“Where do you want this box, beautiful?” Joe asks, lifting the lid to check what’s in it.

“No!” I shout, snatching it from his hand.

“What?” he asks, confused by my reaction.

“Nothing,” I say trying to get the lid back on. The round top gets stuck, forcing me to have to put the box on my bed to use both hands to close it.

“What’s in there?” he asks, as I pull the lid higher than I want to to get it back on.

“Nothing,” I reply nervously.

“Emma?” Joe calls sweetly.

I see the concern on his face as my hands work to smash the box together.

“You’re going to break it,” he informs, glancing down.

“No, I’m nnn . . .” I pause when I look down and see what he’s talking about.

Joe walks behind me, surrounding me with his arms. He gently presses his lips to my shoulder. “Does it have something with regards to your parents in there?” he questions politely.

My body freezes and it takes me several seconds to mutter, “Yes.”

Joe holds me tighter while caressing my arms with his fingers. “Can I see it?”

My head shakes.

“Please, beautiful?”

My head shakes again.

“Please, let me in,” he coaxes. “I promise, you’re safe. It’s okay. I want to meet them. They’re a part of you.”

I sniff back a tear. “It’s not just them in there.”

“Who else is in there?” he requests.

“Promise you won’t laugh,” I mumble.

“Laugh? Why would I laugh?” he replies.

“Just promise,” I demand gently.

“I promise, I won’t laugh.” Joe kisses the side of my head.

“I know you’ll look if I don’t show you, so I’d rather be here when you see inside,” I remark.

“I wouldn’t snoop . . . not if it really meant that much to you,” he soothes.

“I would snoop,” I admit, turning to face him.

“I know,” he laughs. “Okay . . . maybe I would snoop too, but that’s only because I want to know more about
you
.”

My mouth hooks to the right and then presses to his lips. “No laughing,” I remind.

Joe nods his consent.

I take the box and sit down on the floor. Sadie curls up next to me while Joe sits across from us on the other side of the box. I take two large deep breaths before removing the lid.

Joe’s eyes widen with curiosity.

The first item I pick up is the napkin from Halloween instructing me to find VIP
sessanta nove
which I later found out was from Joe. When I look up at him, he takes it from me, smiling from ear to ear. Next, I delicately pick up three dried roses, two white and one red, and the card that came with them. There’s still a faint aroma coming from the flowers.

“Are these some of the ones from your birthday?” Joe asks giddy eyed.

I smile and nod.

He leans over the box, kissing me tenderly. He sits back down, allowing me to continue.

Then, my fingers find the note Joe wrote and left me on my refrigerator the day we almost got caught by Maggie here at my apartment. If she didn’t stop by, I think Joe and I would have had sex for the first time. Joe laughs, but he quickly tries to subdue it when he finds me watching him.

“I’m not laughing,” Joe reveals. “Okay. I’m laughing, but at the memory of that day.”

His cheeriness is contagious and I can’t be mad. It was a funny day when you look back on it.

A giggle escapes my mouth as I pick up the photo of Joe’s naked rear and Sadie laying on him from Oregon. I’m not sure why I printed the picture, but I’m glad I did. My hand darts to the floor, not wanting him to see it. Joe carefully pushes the box out of the way and moves closer, clearly determined to see what I’m hiding. I shake my head, but he nods in opposition.

“Please,” he requests.

“No,” I say, smirking.

Joe’s mouth meets mine, seducing me into his steamy embrace. My hands lift to hold his face and a few seconds later he’s pulling away and I notice he has the photo.

“Nice,” he remarks and then kisses me again.

Joe shifts, sitting next to me while he takes out the next object which is an envelope. His eyes become watery when he sees that they’re all of the messages he wrote me when he tried to give me his keys. My hand lifts to his cheek to console him. Taking my wrist, Joe turns my hand and kisses my palm.

Then, I find a few more pictures of my friends and me from a variety of times throughout the years, handing each one to Joe as I take them out. I have a photo album, but certain special photos get placed in my memory box. There’s some from the past year that include him and Henry in them.

“Is this you?” Joe asks a little confused.

“Yes,” I confirm. “That’s not long after Jared and I first met.”

“You look so different. I almost didn’t recognize you except for your eyes,” he states. “You look so sad.”

“The night I left Jersey, I cut my hair and dyed it,” I reveal. “I didn’t want to take any chances of being recognized by the cops if they came looking for me.”

Lastly, my heart frowns a little when the remaining pieces register in my brain. There are my parents’ passports and several photos I had taken from the house before I left New Jersey. I’ve been wanting to frame them, but I’ve never been able to bring myself to do it. I love them and miss them, but having their photos out for me to see on a regular basis always makes it challenging.

“Why don’t you have any of these framed?” Joe inquires sweetly.

“Because,” I sigh. “It’s too painful. Old habits and nightmares come around if I have them out. I don’t want to be that person anymore.”

Joe wraps his arm around me and kisses my temple. “Embrace it, Emma. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. That moment may have defined you back then, but I see a completely different person right here, right now with me . . . and she’s strong, beautiful, intelligent and sexy as hell.”

My heart melts at his words and I suddenly find myself on his lap, kissing him desperately. Joe cradles me, holds me, not like a child needing to be coddled, but like a woman who needs to be reassured and reminded of herself. I pull away, staring into his eyes, wanting to reveal how I feel about him in this moment, but my brain fails me — so the only way I know to expose myself to him is with my body.

“
Hello
,
sweetheart
,” Nǎinai greets in Mandarin as I walk into the kitchen.

“Nín hǎo,” I reply, kissing her cheek.

“Nǐ chī le ma?” she continues.

“
Yes
,” I answer in Mandarin. “
Thank you
.” I smile and repeat my greeting to everyone left in the kitchen; Maggie, Mŭqīn, Amy, Kim and Jade.

Nǎinai ignores my comment about already having eaten and places a bowl in front of me when I sit down at the large kitchen table. I smile, bow and say, “Xiè xiè.”

The ladies get settled around the kitchen table.

“Where are Rey and Jet?” I ask Amy and Kim as I take my first bite.

“Helping the men,” Amy confirms.

“Is Jared coming?” Mŭqīn inquires.

“No,” Maggie replies. “He’s with the guys today.”

“What?” I ask in shock. “He’s always here.”

“I know,” Maggie agrees. “I guess they really want it to be a guys day this year.”

“Is
Blue Eyes
coming tomorrow?” Nǎinai asks, causing me to almost choke.

“Same as last year,” Maggie shares happily.

“Who’s
Blue Eyes
?” Jade asks innocently.

Everyone looks to me.

“Joe,” I answer.

“Oh,” Jade replies.

All the ladies, except for Jade and me giggle.

“Told you, Nǎinai is never wrong,” Amy teases, waiving her finger at me.

Nǎinai smacks my shoulder when I roll my eyes in response.

“If this is pick on Emma day,” I announce. “I’m leaving.”

“I’m never wrong,” Nǎinai states soundly.

“Technically, you are,” I challenge. “I don’t have a husband and I don’t have a child.”

“I didn’t say they would all happen within the year,” Nǎinai counters in Mandarin. “You are on the right path for them to happen.” She smiles confidently.

“We’re only dating,” I remind them.

“Awww,” Maggie sighs.

“What?” I ask.

“You said dating as if it’s nothing,” she comments.

“So, when did you two start shacking up?” Nǎinai blurts in English.

“Mama,” Mŭqīn scolds. “Language.”

“Please,” Nǎinai replies. “We both know these girls haven't been virg. . . . .”

“Nǎinai,” Maggie calls sternly, patting her belly. Her eyes dart to Jade. “Young ears.”

“What does shacking up mean?” Jade checks.

“Dating,” Kim returns quickly. “It means dating. Right, Nǎinai?”

“Right,” Nǎinai confirms with a wink.

“Since my wedding,” Maggie announces.

“Maggie,” I call.

“What?” she remarks. “They know already.”

“Then, why . . . ?” I start.

“We want to hear it directly from you,” Kim confirms.

“
We’re happy for you
, Emma,” Nǎinai consoles in Mandarin.

“Honestly. You’re officially one of us now,” Amy announces.

I stare at them wide-eyed, not sure what to say.

“Does dating mean you guys kiss like mommy and daddy?” Jade poses.

I take a deep breath in.

“Yes,” Maggie answers.

Jade giggles, prompting the rest of us to join her.

The room goes silent until we get all of the dishes, utensils, pots, pans and food out to start making the meals for both the New Year’s Eve and New Year’s meals. Jade starts talking excitedly about what’s been happening with her new friends in school. Conversations fade in and out throughout the day as we shift around the kitchen making each item that will be served just with our large family which takes us late into the evening. At different points in the day, the women ask me about things regarding my relationship with Joe. I know this is what they usually do amongst themselves, but it’s still very foreign when it comes to me. I think they’re enjoying making me uncomfortable, but I know it’s surrounded by love, which makes it a little easier to digest.

I text Joe when I’m on my way back to Pasadena. He’s at my place waiting just outside my door when I arrive.

“Hey, beautiful,” he greets, pulling me into him.

“Hey,” I reply when our lips part slightly.

“Long day?” he checks.

“You wouldn’t believe,” I state.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” I sigh. “Just tired from the day . . . lots of questions and comments.”

“About what?” he inspects.

I glare at him with the
are you kidding me look
.

“Us?” he asks innocently.

“Yep,” I affirm.

“Really?”

“Really,” I repeat. “Nǎinai even had the balls to ask me when we first started
shacking up
.”

A laugh roars from Joe’s belly.

“It’s not funny,” I say. “Stop laughing.”

“I’m sorry, beautiful,” he replies. “What else did they ask or say?”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” I return. “And, they were keeping it pretty clean with Jade there. It was horrible. Let’s just hope that they don’t do it again tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” I confirm. “At New Year’s Eve dinner, remember?”

“Yes, I remember,” he says, kissing my temple. “Do you really think they’ll ask or say more?”

“You never know with them,” I reply with a serious tone.

Joe laughs, opening the door.

Once we’re inside and in the bathroom getting ready for the night, Joe makes a comment. “You know you’ve got food in your hair?” He reaches behind my left ear and tries to get it out.

“I’m not surprised,” I reply, taking off my shirt. “I usually end up with something in it or on me.”

“Are you rinsing off?”

“Yeah,” I answer. “Why?”

“I’ll join you,” he returns with a smile, taking off his pants.

“I don’t know if I have the energy,” I mention.

“Shh,” he hushes me sweetly.

The next day, the family acts pretty normal when we’re all together for New Year’s Eve. A few side comments here and there about Joe and me are shared, but nothing major, which I greatly appreciate. At some point in the evening, I excuse myself to use the bathroom. When I get back, I watch my family from the crook of the doorway. My eyes bounce from person to person as they interact and I can’t help but smile at all of them. Jared and Nathan seem even more happy now that they are getting married and the entire family is excited and happy for them — Nǎinai made a point to remind us all that she predicted it last year. When my gaze falls upon Maggie, I notice how she’s glowing; radiating with love. She’s constantly touching her belly in one form or another as if she’s checking to make sure the baby is still there. The children are playing on the floor with Sadie and I notice myself getting a little sentimental — wishing that I was with Brittany, Leslie, Celia, Martin and Mr. and Mrs. Nelson right now — and my parents. Before I dare to move from my perched bliss, my attention finds Joe staring back at me. Is he watching me watch them?

Too embarrassed that I got caught eves-dropping in a way, I head back over to my seat next to Joe. He takes my hand, guiding me to sit on his lap. A wave of nervousness floods my stomach, suddenly acutely aware of our affection with everyone around us and feeling like they’re now watching me. I fight through my hesitation and lower myself on him, much like Maggie is perched on Henry’s lap.

For New Year’s day, Joe and I meet up with everyone back at Mŭqīn’s and Fŭqīn’s for lunch before we make our way to the parade. This year, the sun is out and it’s much warmer, allowing us to not have to wear jackets.

“Happy anniversary,” Joe whispers into my ear as he stands behind me with his hands on my hips.

“What?” I question nervously.

“A year ago, technically it was . . . nine days ago, but I didn’t want to freak you out,” Joe explains. “So, I figured I’d be safe saying something today since the anniversary can fall on the holiday like it did.”

“It’s not an anniversary,” I say timidly.

“It is for me,” he confirms. “It’s the day you stole my heart when you walked up to the library. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I still can’t, beautiful.”

I nudge him with my hip, unsure of how to respond.

“I remember how beautiful you looked,” Joe continues. “And, how nervous I was.”

“You? Nervous?” I check.

“Yes,” he chuckles, kissing me. “I was mesmerized by you, especially when I saw you smile . . . I couldn’t breathe. I was barely able to speak because you distracted me so much.”

I turn my head to look at him better. “You sounded fine.”

“You were the first woman to make me not sure of what to say,” he adds. “Which terrified me and exhilarated me at the same time.”

“Is that why you were so quiet?” I tease.

With a grin, he says, “A little.” He lowers is lips to mine. “Thank you.”

“For what?” I ask.

“For everything,” he answers. “For being you and for being with me.”

I smile, kissing him because I’m not sure what to say.