Keep it Secret (16 page)

“You don’t know what you do
to me.” He whispered continuing to kiss my neck. The warmth of his
breath hummed on my ear as he spoke in a husky voice.

“Can I kiss you one last
time?” Gabriel’s hand slowly traveled to the bottom of my sports
bra my nipples harden as the thought of his tongue flicking them
flashed in my mind. Fuck, I was so ready for him the wetness was
now uncomfortable, there needed to be some sort of release, soon.
My body turned on its own accord both our chest rose in
excitement.

“Where would you be placing
this last kiss?” I asked looking at him seductively then looking
down hoping he was reading in between the lines.

“Oh, fuck.” Gabriel groaned
biting his lower lip as he fell to his knees.
Smart boy
. His fingertips dug inside
the waistband of my yoga pants slowing pulling them down. The
material was halfway down my ass when suddenly there was a knock on
the door.

“Gabe, baby, are you awake?”
The muffled female voice said on the opposite side of the door.
Gabriel chuckled in frustration while he placed his forehead on my
stomach before answering.

“Yeah, mom, I'll be right
out.” He replied pulling my pants back up as he stood. “Come on. I
want you to meet my mom.” Talk about blue balls.

“Um.” Was all I could get
out before he was pulling me into the kitchen. Standing right in
front of the white marble kitchen island was a strikingly beautiful
blonde woman. Her hair was cut in a chic long bob that curved under
her defined chin. She was tall and thin with a sun kissed tan it
was obvious she was rocking a kick ass body underneath her
expensive silky pink robe. Her eyes widened as she noticed that
Gabriel was not alone.

“I didn’t know we had
company.” She said swallowing her coffee before setting down the
mug.

“Hello, I'm Angela, Gabe's
mother. And you are gorgeous. Atta boy, son!" She smiled wide as
she extended her hand to shake mine.

“Mom, this is Ava, she's
a
friend
of mine
from school.” He sounded annoyed.

“A friend, huh?” She
responded suspiciously arching her perfectly manicured
eyebrow.

“Not for my lack of trying.”
He said. I rolled my eyes elbowing him on his side.

“Hello, Mrs. Mason, nice to
meet you. I'm new in town and Gabriel has take pity on me and
helped me out with a few things.” I was babbling, as gorgeous as
she was she was also that much more intimidating. I’m not the type
to be intimidated by anyone, but she was so beautiful it was hard
not to be.

“I’m pleased to know I’ve
raised a gentleman.” She replied turning to look at Gabriel. “And
it's Ms.
Bianchi
.” She corrected me, sipping once again on her
coffee.

“Oh, I apologize, Ms.
Bianchi
.” I rectify
myself making sure I accented the name properly.

“Sei
Italiana
?” She asked startled by my
pronunciation. The fact that she knew Italian completely through me
off, it’s not common to come across someone else who spoke it in
Colorado.

“No, half, ah…my father was
Sicilian.” I replied in English. I knew enough Italian to have a
conversation, but it felt very intimate to speak my father’s native
tongue with someone I just met.

“What’s your last name?” Ms.
Bianchi asked.

“Veneziano.
”

"
Veneziano
? From Sicily, doesn't that
surname originate from Venice?” I shrugged because I had no idea
where my last name originated.

“Sorry, my mom has a thing
for names and their origins. She’s not normally as nosey as she’s
coming across.” Gabriel slanted his head glaring at his
mother.

“Oh, it’s all right. My
grandfather was from Venice he migrated to Sicily and married my
grandmother. My father was born there.” I elaborated.

“Parli Italiano?”
She asked.

“Molto poco.”

“Well, your accent is
impeccable. Even in the few words you’ve spoken you pronounce it
like it's your first tongue.” She walked closer taking my hand she
pulled me to the table.

“Are you hungry? It looks
like you had quite the workout you must be.”

“I, uh—”

“Great idea mom I’ll make
you guys breakfast.”

Gabriel made spinach and
cheese omelets. They were delicious. After we finished I stayed and
talked to his mom while Gabriel cleaned up the mess he made. I
tried to help, but Ms. Bianchi refused. She said and I quote
“pretty girls like us don't need to get our hands dirty. That’s
what men are for.” I laughed despite the fact that I thought she
was completely wrong. I wonder what my life would have become if I
let men get their hands dirty for me, if I had let anyone get their
hands dirty for me. Ms. Bianchi was funny and witty we got along
very well. She told me she was an international model when she was
younger. That was how she picked up speaking Italian, French, and
Mandarin. After Gabriel joined the conversation Ms. Bianchi made it
a point to reveal every embarrassing childhood story about Gabriel
she could think of. I found myself in tears from laughing so hard
after listening to her tell the story of him eating hand soap
because he thought it smelled good. Gabriel’s face lit up like a
red Christmas light making me laugh even harder. My joy was
interrupted by a vibration coming from the small front pocket of my
pants I looked at the screen to see it was a text from
Rose.

Rose: I spoke to your
uncle. I’m cutting my stay short I’ll be back tomorrow. We need to
talk.

That was a fucking mood
killer if there ever was one.

“Is everything all right?”
Gabriel asked.

“Yeah, I think I should get
back though.” I replied getting up from the table.

“I’ll drive you.”

“No, Gabriel
it’s—”

“Ava shut up and let me take
you.”

I threw my hands up in
defeat. “Fine.”

“Let me go get my keys.” He
said leaving the kitchen in a hurry.

“It was a pleasure meeting
you. Ava.” Gabriel’s mother stood pushing in the chair under the
table.

“The pleasure was all mine.”
I replied sincerely.

“May I be candid?” She
asked.

“Yes, of course.” I had a
feeling I was about to regret this.

“I can tell you've had a
tough life so far.”

“What—”

“It’s in your eyes, you work
hard to mask it but I see it.” I had no words my only response was
to look down.

“I wouldn't be a good mother
if I didn't ask you to be careful with my boys heart. He’s had a
rough time, maybe not as tough as yours, but he doesn't need any
more disappointments from people close to him.” How could I be mad
at a mom who was looking after her child? I understood exactly
where she was coming from. I respected that. I admired that. I
envied that.

“Capito?”
She asked.

“Si.”

The drive back home was way
too fast I wanted to be with him longer but I knew I had to get
back to reality and face my uncle. I asked Gabriel to park a block
away from the gates so no one saw us in the same car.

“Thanks for the ride, Blue.”
I said looking out the window just trying to prolong the
inevitable.

“Any time, you can always
count on your trusting friend.” He replied sharply.

“What’s wrong?” I asked
moving to face him.

“Nothing, Ava, I’m freaking
dandy.” He tapped the steering wheel with his thumb harder than he
should.
This again?
Last night was a big ass mistake I’d let my old ways creep
back in but being around Gabriel seemed to erase all of my thoughts
about anything but him. Not to mention while around him alcohol was
the last thing on my mind. He was my saving grace and I wasn't sure
if I was ready to let him go just yet.

“Blue, don’t do this, we
already talked about the situation we’re in. If being my friend is
too difficult for you I understand but I don’t know if I can let
you go. That’s selfish of me, I know but it’s the way I feel.” I
unclenched his hand from the steering wheel pulling it to my lips I
planted a soft kiss on his knuckles.

“Please, just be my friend,
Blue.” I whispered looking into his eyes his unoccupied hand rubbed
his face before letting out an exasperated sigh.

“Fine, Ava, friends is what
we’ll be.” He finally agreed, for now.

I opened the car door before
letting go of his hand. “I’ll see you Monday. Have fun on your date
tonight.”

He smiled weakly nodding.
“See you Monday.”

Inside the house, I rushed
upstairs to wash away the angry smell radiating from my armpits.
Moments after the hot water hit my face a door opened and closed.
Vanessa.

“Are you okay?” She asked,
her footsteps getting closer to the shower. I didn't even bother to
open my eyes.

“Couldn’t be better Van, how
are you?”

“Don’t get snappy with me
Ava. I’m on your side. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I
am not your enemy.” By the tone in her voice she was probably
crossing her arms maybe even scowling. Breathing out heavily I
spoke against the running water.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to
take it out on you I’m just not in the mood to talk about it.
Okay?”

“All right but when you are,
I’m here for you. You know that right?”

“I know, Van. When I’m ready
I’ll talk to you.” I turned off the water opening the glass door.
Vanessa stood outside the shower door holding a robe I wrapped it
around me and stepped out of the shower.

“I love you.” She said
bringing me into a hug. Hugging her back tightly I replied. “Me
too.”

Our sisterly moment was
interrupted by a knock on my side of the bathroom door.

“Ava, when you’re dressed
I’d like to speak with you. I’ll be in my office.” Uncle Bill
said.

“Okay” I replied. Waiting a
couple of minutes before entering my room.

“Wish me luck.” I said to
Vanessa before leaving the bathroom.

“Good luck.”

Quickly, I dressed in skinny
jeans and a simple black tee before going to his office. Knocking
before entering, he looked at me setting down the paper he was
reading then taking off his reading glasses.

“Shut the door, please.” He
said. I did as I was told. “Take a seat.” He pointed at the chair
across from his desk.

“Ava, I’m sorry I called you
that name. That was very unkind of me and very out of character.”
He said very business like, no real sincerity, no love or
understanding. Violent red began to grow inside my gut.

“What name Uncle Bill? Oh,
you mean a whore, right? No, I’m not a whore I’ve never gotten paid
for sleeping with a man. I do that for free.” I lay back on the
chair waiting for his response.

“Don’t do this. Ava. What
would your father say?” Oh, that was fucking ridiculous I’ve had
enough of this shit.

“What would my father say? You
have the nerve to ask me that? He would be disgusted by the fact
that his wife let herself turn into a worthless piece of shit for
an entire year while his thirteen-year-old daughter cleaned up
after her and took care of her…while…his best friend did nothing.
Just swept it under the rug and pretend they would be fine. Don’t
you dare judge me or throw my father in my face, you have no idea
what my life has been like!” It wasn’t until his office phone rang
that I realized I was yelling. My hands trembled while my mouth
went so dry it was difficult to move my tongue.
I needed a fix, soon
. With the phone
still ringing I stood to leave looking back at Uncle Bill before
exiting the office. He wasn’t able to hold eye contact with me. In
shame he dropped his head letting out a soft cry. His huddled body
shook with emotion, I had no sympathy for him, none. I’d apologize
for sleeping with Reggie in the Cynthia’s car further than that I
had nothing to be sorry for. I looked down at him in disgust before
walking out of his office slamming the door behind me. In my room,
I stumbled into the closet frantically shoving unpacked boxes out
the way looking for the blue
Sterilite
plastic bin that held my
stash of liquid escape. Popping off the lid, my breath slowly
stabilized still my hands shook as I picked up a bottle of Jose
Cuervo. My once dry mouth was now salivating as I twisted open the
bottle taking a swig…then another and another.

Finally after the fifth drink
my body relaxed a bit enabling me to stand from my crouched
position. With my bottle and phone in hand, I laid on my bed
plugging in my headset, pressing shuffle on my Spotify
playlist.
Picture
by Kid Rock began to play. Nice, best drinking song ever!
Five more shots from the bottle and I was feeling fuzzy all over. I
grabbed my crucifix kissing it. It always felt like it would go
directly to my dad it was the chain that linked us, me here on
earth him in heaven. Grunting, I took another drink, he would be
embarrassed by me, I know. I’m a disappointment, but I didn’t know
where to start and fix my fucked up issue with sex and alcohol. How
do I change five years of self-deprecation? I’ve considered
counseling before, Rose had brought it up a couple of years back
but I shut her down and she’s never brought it up again. And that’s
another problem, she was so quick to stop pushing me she never
tried hard enough, ever. I’m the poster child for acting out to get
some sort of attention from the adults in my life. My mother was to
weak, my aunt and uncle didn't care enough to try and help; yes
they had their lives they needed to get back to but I couldn't
imagine leaving my niece in the hands of a parent who was incapable
of letting her own shit go for the sake of her daughters well
being. Declan was right our parents did suck.