Keep it Secret (18 page)

Gabriel stopped the car and
quickly ran over to open my door.

“Thank you.” I
whispered.

“I’ll walk you up.” He
responded.

Luckily the ingrained
politeness that had been pushed down my throat since I could walk
kicked in and I was able to untangle my tongue and say something.
“I had a really nice time, thanks for everything.”

“I had a really good time,
too. I hope we can do it again?”

Really?

Oh, my.

Yes!

“I’d love that.” I replied
surprised I sounded so calm and collected.

“I’ll see you Monday,
then?”

I smiled and nodded, Gabriel
bent down and I froze. My heart started racing and my palms became
embarrassingly sweaty. Oh God here it comes, he’s going to kiss me
and I’m frozen in time like a damn statue. His lips moved past mine
but settle on my cheek. Gabriel’s skin lingered on mine for a
moment before taking in a sharp breath causing my butterflies to
multiply by the dozen.

“Good night.” He whispered
in my ear. I bit down on my bottom lip scared I might be smiling
like an idiot.

“Night.” I whispered
back.

“See ya.” He said stepping
back almost tripping on the last step.

“Oh, God, are you all
right?” I said reaching forward. Gabriel stopped me with his
hand.

“I’m good. Get some sleep
beautiful.” He smiled in embarrassment as he rubbed the back of his
neck getting into his car. I forced the giggle that was trying to
escape down waving bye as I entered the front door. With my back
against the door, I touched my cheek still feeling his lips against
my skin. Best date ever!

Ava

I woke up to a dead silence.
What the hell happened to my phone—oh great, it’s dead. Getting out
to find my charger I winced as a sharp pain stabbed the sides of my
head. I should have known better, not enough water plus half a
bottle of tequila equals major hangover. I stumbled off the bed
towards Van’s room. Luckily she was still out on her date there
wouldn’t be a lecture waiting for me on the opposite side of the
bathroom, just great pain meds for this hideous headache. I
staggered to her nightstand praying my eyes would quickly adjust to
the darkness so I could find the damn pills. Just as I pulled the
drawer open Vanessa screamed which made me scream.

“What the hell, Ava!”
Vanessa yelled reaching over the nightstand turning on the lamp
that sat on top.

“Ah! Turn that shit off! I
have a big ass headache.” I grumbled, shielding my eyes from the
light. “Do you have any pain killers in here—wait aren't you
supposed to be on your date? What are you doing home?”

“It’s four o'clock in the
morning. Ava.” She huffed in annoyance, turning off the lamp. “You
know it serves you right for drinking so much.”

I lay down on the opposite
side of the bed rubbing the side of my aching head with my palms.
Vanessa grunted as she walked to her desk shuffling through the
drawers then walking into the bathroom. She reappeared handing over
two pills and a glass full of water. I gladly accepted
them.

“Drink all of the water,
you're dehydrated.” I did as I was told trying my hardest not to
gaging on the water. Vanessa took the glass from my hands headed
back to the bathroom filling up the glass with water once
again.

“Here, keep this with you.
Sip on it.” I took a sip before setting it on the nightstand next
to me. Closing my eyes I felt Vanessa lying back down on the
bed.

“How was your date?” I asked
not really wanting to know what happened. Just picturing them
kissing threatened the water to crawl up my throat.

“It was perfect. We went to
watch a movie and then we ate dinner at that Italian place next to
the theater. He doesn’t know that I don’t like Italian food and I
didn't want to disappoint him, so I just order a salad. Then we
went to get ice cream walked around the promenade and talked.” She
replied playing back the evening, her voice all dreamy like. I’ve
never truly experienced jealousy until this very moment.

“Did he kiss you?” I asked
abruptly. To an outsider, it might have sounded like I was jealous
and I was but to my innocent cousin who had never thought badly of
me probably thought I asked because I was being
overprotective.

“Of course not. Gabriel’s a
gentleman. He gave me a kiss on the cheek after he walked me to the
door. He’s perfect Ava, he’s sweet, thoughtful and funny plus he’s
gorgeous. It was the perfect first date.”

Even though jealousy ripped
through my insides I was sickeningly happy she had a nice time. The
way she described her date made it hard to linger on my own
bullshit. She was incredibly endearing.

“I’m glad, Van, you deserve a
guy like that.” That’s what I needed to replay in my head
she
deserved a guy like
Gabriel, not me. The pain meds were starting to kick in along with
my need for some feel good juice.

“Sorry, I woke you, Van. I’m
going to head back to my bed and go back to sleep. This headache is
killing me.” Slowly peeling myself off the bed I only stumbled a
little.

“Ava, talk to me please.”
She begged as I reached the bathroom door.

“Not tonight, Van” I
whispered, my voice suddenly hoarse.

I suddenly felt like I was
suffocating. I couldn't catch my breath and I was cold and wet. I
gasped struggling to breathe. This only made it worse. Water seeped
into my nose causing me to snap my eyes open as I fell off the bed.
My body voluntarily coughed up the water that was stuck halfway
down my throat. There was movement at the end of my bed that caught
my attention. Rose stood with an empty pitcher in her
hand.

“What. The. Fuck. Rose!” I
yelled slowly coming to my feet resting a hand on the wall for
support and the other on my chest.

“Don’t you talk to me that way
Ava Maria. I am your mother and you do not speak to me that way!”
There was fury in her eyes she was livid. “How dare you disrespect
your aunt and uncle by having
sex
in the back of their car?” She whispered the word
sex. “And now I find you dead asleep at 1:30 in the afternoon with
a half empty bottle of tequila on your nightstand. Have you no
respect for yourself or someone else's property?”

I ran my hand down my face
trying to wipe off the water that was dripping on the
carpet.

“Rose, you don't get to
lecture me, you lost that privilege a long, long time ago.” I
pushed off the wall heading towards the door. Before I could reach
the doorknob I was jerked back, Rose had her hand wrapped around my
arm.

“No! Enough, you’re mad at
me I deserve it. Yell at me, scream at me but talked to me Ava. I
will not, I cannot live like this anymore.” Her words were filled
with pain, I knew she suffered but I just didn't care, my heart was
stone when it came to her. She could huff and puff all she wanted I
would not succumb to her pain, just like she didn’t to
mine.

“Avie, I lost him too. I’m so
sorry I wasn't there for you. I’m disgusted with myself.” I yanked
my arm free my anger was rising, she could see it too because her
eyes widened as she took a step back. I had locked these feelings
up for five years. The concrete wall was cracked and I couldn't
hold it in any longer.
I
had enough. On pure fury, I grabbed the bottle of
tequila and threw it against the wall opposite of us. The glass
shattered instantly the room smelled of tequila. Rose gasped with
panic.

“You’re sorry?” I screamed
my fist clenched the sides of my head gripping my hair. “After five
years—five fucking years, you finally have the audacity to say
you're sorry?” I laughed like a maniac I had no control over my
emotions right now. “It’s too late for all that, I’m ruined because
of you. Why couldn't you just take care of me? For an entire year I
bathed you, wiped you, fed you, pleaded with you. I was thirteen—a
fucking kid—on my hands and knees begging you to come back to me
and you didn't give a shit! You just looked at me with empty eyes
and turned your head. Your grief was more important than mine. I’m
broken thanks to you!” I was sobbing not even sure if my words were
coherent. My tears were so thick I couldn’t even see where she was.
Air wasn’t reaching my lungs fast enough I was struggling to
breath. My instant reaction was to run, run away. I wiped my face
and grabbed my phone marching towards the door I almost tripped
over Rose. She was on her knees her forehead on the floor sobbing.
Holding the doorknob, I felt a big weight lift off my shoulders
only to find the hole in my chest ripped wide open. Saying all that
out loud made it all real. The absence of my mother in my time of
need was out in the open for everyone to see. Stepping out of the
room I was surprised to see Aunt Cynthia, Uncle Bill and Vanessa
standing with disbelief and disgust painted all over their
faces.

“Ava.” Vanessa whispered
with remorse reaching her arms out to hug me. I extended my arm to
stop her shaking my head ‘no’. Even though she was innocent in all
of this, the thought of being touched by anyone that was blood
related felt gross. I walked past them and heading out the front
door. Once outside I ran, forgetting that I had a beautiful truck
that could take me anywhere I wanted to go. The blistering pavement
on my feet also reminded me that I was barefoot. But I didn’t care
I just need as much distance from them as possible. Logic started
to sink in as the much hotter asphalt burned my sensitive skin I
exited the gate and got onto the main street. Maybe this wasn't the
brightest of ideas. Fuck, I wish I had my keys. The sight of a
familiar black Mercedes made me stop dead in my tracks. How is this
possible? I stopped so did the car, coming to a screeching halt in
the middle of the main road. The shiny black door pushed open.
Gabriel hesitantly pulled himself out the car. Time stood still as
he realized it was I in the middle of the street. The sun cast a
glare over his blonde hair giving the illusion of a halo, he was
beautiful, my angel sent from heaven. My legs gave making me
crumble to my knees I started to cry in my hands as if his presence
gave me permission to break down knowing he was here to catch
me.

“Ava!” He ran to me taking
me in his arms, I went easily to him. Gabriel carried me to his car
sliding me in the passenger side he buckled the seat belt. I closed
my eyes to stop from crying, but my tears were endless after so
much time of holding them in. We drove in silence to his condo,
except for my occasional pitiful whimpers. Once we arrive, he
parked his car turning off the engine. I turned to look at him, his
smile was full of sadness Gabriel took my hand and placed a soft
kiss on the inside of my wrist, it sent shivers throughout my body
giving my heart a small spark of life. Gently, letting go he gets
out of the car, soon enough he was opening my door reaching in to
take me out. Gabriel carried me to the elevator and up to his
floor. Instinctively, I nuzzle into his muscular chest breathing in
his sent it instantly calmed me. Opening the door to his condo,
like the last time, we went straight to his room. But only this
time he set me down in the bathroom. Gabriel opened the glass door
to the shower, turning it on immediately steaming. Reaching inside
a closet next to the toilet, he grabbed a white towel and placed it
on a hook that was adhered to the shower door. Gabriel stood in
front of me gently grabbing my face he pulled me to his lips and
placed a silent kiss on my forehead. His lips lingered on my skin
and all I want to do was devour his mouth and have him make me
forget all this bullshit. Gabriel stepped back breaking our
connection leaving the bathroom without a single word. I undressed
and stepped into the shower. The hot water was calming and
relaxing.

Under the raining
showerhead, I stood with my forehead against the white subway tile
fighting the feeling to stay numb, numb to the world exactly how I
always wanted to feel. However, this time, the walls of my
emotional dam had a crack and no matter how many times I drank or
fucked they were not closing back up. I stared into nothing until
the water started to cool snapping me out of my trance I turned off
the water and wrapped the towel around my body. Wiping the steam
off the mirror I glared at my swollen eyes and puffy lips, red from
crying. I instantly felt irritated for letting Rose affect me this
way. Ugh! Why now Rose? Why beat a dead horse? It was all said and
done five years ago. I was fine with keeping it buried, keeping it
secret. Tightening the towel I walked out of the bathroom into
Gabriel’s room, on his bed was one of his grey t-shirt’s. I smiled
putting it on breathing in his scent the shirt barely covered my
ass this must be one of his smaller tees, as I dried my wet hair
with the towel I heard a groan behind me causing me to turn around
with a jump. Gabriel leaned against the doorframe in all his
beautiful angelic glory his gaze was anything but celestial. He was
eating me up with eyes and I loved every bit of it. Gabriel cleared
his throat before speaking though his voice was still
hoarse.

“I was coming in to check up
on you. You were in there for a while.”

I bite my bottom lip trying to
suppress my smile I loved the effect I had on him. I knew what I
did to men, but with him it made me feel entirely different. I felt
the tightening sensation in between my legs, I hung my head low not
wanting him to see the look on my face but he saw it anyways.
Gabriel groaned marching towards me I looked up to him cupping my
face. Slowly he lowered his face to mine and all I could do was
tell myself to breathe. With him so close to my face, I
instinctively licked my lips, without hesitation his lips crashed
into mine. My lips parted giving him access to the inside of my
mouth Gabriel’s warm soft tongue collide against mind sending
shivers down my spine. He tasted like peppermint and something else
that was entirely Gabriel, completely addictive. I whimpered
feeling him in me, wanting him in me in a whole different way.
Abruptly, he jerked away balling his fits he punched the
wall
. No. Come back.