Keeper of the Heart (19 page)

“And why should it?” Tedra said, having come over as soon as she saw Falon moving toward Shanelle’s couch. “My daughter has nothing to do with the competitions, warrior, and I’d appreciate your not discussing them with her.”

There was enough warning in Tedra’s look and tone for Falon to suspect Shanelle didn’t know men were competing for her. But before he could answer either way, Tedra was giving Shanelle permission to retire if she wanted to, and she obviously wanted to.

Falon watched her leave, aware that he couldn’t stop her—or go with her. That he still had no rights whatsoever where she was concerned was frustrating in the extreme, considering his feelings for the woman. She was going to be his lifemate. He wanted the matter settled immediately.

He looked toward Shanelle’s father, but her mother must have read his mind. “It won’t do you a bit of good to ask for her now,” Tedra told him. “Challen isn’t blind. He already knows of your interest. But he won’t be making any decisions until the end of the competitions, so you’ll have to wait just like everyone else.”

His eyes came back to Tedra, his impatience clear. “Then I want her to know why I enter the competitions.”

“I’m sure you do, but I don’t. It would hurt her to know what her father has done. Is your pride more important than that?”

Falon hesitated only a moment. “No—it will be as you wish.”

“What I wish is that my daughter had never laid eyes on you.”

There was too much heat in that statement for Falon not to guess what was wrong. “You are aware that she gifted me with her first time and you disapprove?”

“You got that wrong,” she shot back. “I was delighted that she’d finally made her choice—until I saw the damage her
choice
left behind. What I should have done was let her father see it, instead of sending her straight to a meditech.”

Falon’s guilt was rubbed raw by those words.

“You must know it was not my intention to hurt her. Nor will it ever happen again.”

“Shani isn’t inclined to believe that any more than I am,” Tedra said.

“Yet will I convince her.”

“You say that like you mean it, but sheer determination doesn’t always work—fortunately.”

Falon stiffened, amazed at how close he was to losing his temper with this woman. “So you condemn me without knowing all the facts?”

“Wrong again, warrior, on both counts. I know more about what happened than I care to. Not only did Shani tell me most of it—and by the way, she doesn’t blame you for what happened, she just doesn’t want to experience it again—but Martha filled me in on the rest. And you might not believe it, but I was still on your side at that point. You were Sham’s choice, after all, and that matters more in the long run than a few fears she’s built up and your lack of experience in containing certain emotions, which can be corrected. But the marks against you kept adding up, until now they’ve tipped the other way. Take my advice and give it up.”

“Never!”

“Then you’re bound for disappointment, because it’s no longer just what you’ve done, but what you are. And I don’t see how you’ll get around that, warrior.”

She moved off after those cryptic words, leaving him baffled, but not for long. He went right to Dalden to ask, “What am I now that I was not before, that would make your mother so hostile to me?”

Dalden drew a blank over that riddle like question, until he recalled his mother’s words on the balcony. “Stars, I should have known she’d react that way. I’m sorry, Falon, but it’s my fault. I mentioned that you own slaves.”

“So?”

“So my mother hates slavery.”

“And your sister?”

“Likewise.”

Falon’s sigh was heavy. Marks against him? It was difficulties that were adding up, and they were beginning to look insurmountable.

Falon slipped quietly into the room, closing the door on the light from the hallway. Inside there was a muted glow rising up one wall where the gaali-stone shelf had been left open to emit a minimum of light, just enough to make out the furnishings. The bed was all he was interested in, nor was he likely to forget where it was. He approached it soundlessly and was halfway there before he noticed there was more than one body in it, but the second one was not human. Cat’s eyes glowed at him in the dark, and a purring began that could surely be heard out in the hall. However, it did not wake Shanelle, who was probably accustomed to the sound.

Falon was not He stood there in the middle of the room, debating whether he wanted to tangle with a full-grown
fembair,
her pet, which meant he could not kill the beast any more than he could her other pet, that Droda-cursed android. But this one was purring, and was supposedly tame. He started again toward the bed.

A voice stopped him this time, sounding as loud as alarm bells going off, despite a distinct dryness to it. “When were you thinking about saying something, Corth? After he’s in bed with her?”

“I was waiting for you, Martha.” The second voice came from a different direction. “Warriors aren’t the least bit intimidated by me, even after I show them what I’m capable of. You, on the other hand...”

“I suppose you’re right,” Martha said with a sigh, and then in a smug tone, “Remember me, big guy?”

“It would be impossible to forget
you,”
Falon said stiffly, though it was the android he looked for and found, sitting in a chair near the entrance to the balcony. “And your interference is unnecessary this time, computer. I merely wish to speak with Shanelle.”

“That’s rich.” Martha chuckled. “Is that what they’re calling it these days?”

“For Stars’ sake, Martha,” Shanelle complained groggily from the bed. “I’m trying to get some sleep here.”

“Sorry, but you might as well wake up. You have a visitor—who’s not a visitor.” Laughter followed that play on words.

Falon’s eyes left Corth to return to the bed, in time to see Shanelle sit up behind the
fembair.
“Falon?”

She said his name before she actually saw him standing there. That took the edge off some of his irritation with her machines, but not all of it. “Was it necessary to surround yourself with bodyguards?”

“My mother thought so, and it looks like she was right on the mark. You have no right to come in here, Falon, but in the middle of the night?”

“I could not sleep,” he told her. “I wish no more than to talk, Shanelle.”

“If you believe that, Shani—”

“Martha, I can farden well think for myself, thank you,” Shanelle said testily as she climbed over the
fembair
to sit on the edge of the bed. “Corth, some extra light would be appreciated.”

As a gaali-stone box was flipped open, flooding the room with light, Falon was disappointed to see that Shanelle was fully covered in some kind of sleeping outfit that included loose-fitting
bracs.
Yet with her golden hair unbound and flowing about her in disarray, she was as desirable as ever, and he was rapidly discovering that he could not be in the same room with her without feeling the need to join with her.

“I have nothing to say to you, Falon Van’yer,” she continued in a hard tone, completely awake now and frowning at him. “Nor is there anything you can say to me that will change the fact that you’re a warrior, and you
knew
I didn’t want a warrior,
any
warrior. You deceived me by not telling me who you were.”

“Did you not do the same?”

That reminder pinkened her cheeks and lowered her eyes to the floor. “I would have told you who I was before I left you—if things had worked out differently. But they didn’t, so there was no point.”

“If you would have told me, then it was your intention that I ask your father for you, was it not?”

“Falon, it doesn’t matter now.”

“It matters to me, woman,” he said with sudden fierceness. “It means I was not just your choice for your first time. I was your choice for lifemate.”

That was true, and she was assailed again by the disappointment she’d felt earlier when she knew it wasn’t to be. Her hopes had been so high when she first saw him.
Why
did he have to ruin it by hurting her, then bury it for all time by turning out to be a warrior, and far, far worse, a slaveholding warrior?

Reminded of that, she felt her anger give way to the pain of regret. It built with surprising swiftness, bringing Shanelle to her feet and marching her toward its cause. For once she wasn’t running from a confrontation but embracing it, and she was so angry she wasn’t even aware of it.

She stopped before him, amber eyes aglow with ire, her body stiff with it. “What does it matter if I was naively hoping for something more than temporary when all you wanted was to make me a slave? A slave! A piece of property without rights!” The urge to hit him just then was so strong she gave in to it without thought, slamming both fists against his chest. “How
could
you, Falon?”

He’d made no move to prevent her attack on him, nor did he move a muscle now, and she realized with disgust that she hadn’t hurt him at all, while her hands were painfully stinging. And then it dawned on her
exactly
what she’d just done, and she stepped back in horror.

Falon noted only the new reaction. “What is it?”

If he didn’t know ... “Nothing.”

But he grabbed her hands and started to massage them. “Do you try that again, woman, I will be forced to administer proper punishment.”

She snatched her hands back with an indignant glare. “I’ve heard what your idea of proper punishment is, and you’ll do no such thing—not to me. And why would you? If you tell me I actually managed to hurt you, I won’t believe it.”

“You hurt yourself,” he said simply. “This I will not allow.”

She stared at him incredulously. “But you’d spank me? You think that wouldn’t hurt?”

“A small discomfort to prevent a greater harm. The doing would bring me pain as well, yet must you be taught—”

“Oh, shut up!” she snapped.

Martha chuckled at that point, remarking, “Stars, I just love their logic.”

Shanelle glowered at the computer-link unit that had been set on the table in the center of the room, with its viewer facing the door. But she was too angry with Falon just then to address Martha, and her narrowed amber eyes quickly came back to him, to find him also frowning at the computer link, now that he’d located it.

But she got his attention back as she continued heatedly. “Did you forget my father’s a warrior? So is my brother. I’ve already been taught what I should and shouldn’t do, just as I know better than to try and hurt a warrior, because only warriors can hurt warriors. That’s why I only throw things at my brother when he teases me into losing my temper. But you—obviously I have no sense when it comes to you, so I owe you an apology for hitting you. You can be sure it won’t happen again, because the opportunity won’t be there if I never see you again, which is exactly how I intend it. You can leave now, Falon. We’ve talked more than—”

“You have talked,” he interrupted calmly. “Now you will allow me to explain. Yes, I would have bought you if that was the only way I could have you, and when I thought you a visitor, that was the only way. And you would not have suffered as my slave, Shanelle. You would have found only pleasure and happiness in my ownership.”

“You can’t really believe that,” she said incredulously.

“I can believe nothing else, for I would have made it so,” he replied fervently. “It is
my
happiness that increases, now that I know you can be the mother of my children. But I would have had you belong to me in whatever way I could, for my wanting you has become a need, making you necessary to me. All I can think of is the moment you will be mine.”

Shanelle wished those words had no effect on her. They shouldn’t have, with all she knew about him now. But his wanting her that much was a powerful stimulant to her own senses. If only he wasn’t so damn desirable himself, so stirring just to look at. And being told she was necessary— Stars, that was almost as good as being told she was loved.

Martha’s voice cut into her thoughts. “I hope that silence doesn’t mean you’re actually thinking about it, Shani.”

Before Shanelle could reply, Falon’s voice became husky with persuasion. “Turn the computer off and send the android away,
kerima.
Join with me now and take what is yours without fear. I will do no more than follow as you direct. I will not even touch you.”

To have him again without the fear? Just the thought of it set her pulses racing. But she mentally stomped on the sensation. It was no longer just the fear of his lack of control, his strength, his size. It was a hell of a lot more, now that she knew he was a warrior, a
slaveholding
warrior.

She had waited too long to answer, for he added, “You may even tie my hands if that will help to ease your mind.”

She snorted. “That might have worked earlier,
warrior,
but not now. Thanks, but no thanks.”

“Atta girl,” Martha crowed. “Just keep your socks on and keep using your head instead of your libido, and maybe he might finally get the message.” But Martha couldn’t resist pointing out, “Besides, you don’t
have
anything to tie him with that those mighty arms couldn’t bust out of. He knows that or he wouldn’t have made the offer.”