Kieran & Drew (25 page)

Drew lifted his head to look at Kieran. “Stay the night?” Kieran nodded. “My dad won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon.”

Drew smiled slowly and then lifted his chin in his way that meant
yeah, okay
. “Cool. I’ll call home in a few, check that my mom’s doing okay and tell her I’m staying at Matt’s.”

Kieran frowned. “Why at Matt’s?”
“It’s just easier.”

“Okay,” Kieran whispered, then looked at his now splinter-free hand. “Thank you for getting rid of my splinter.”

 

Drew took hold of his hand and placed a kiss on his palm. “Welcome.”
ChaPter TweLve.

C
LOTHES were never something Kieran deliberated over. In fact, usually it was a case of picking up what looked relatively clean from his bedroom floor and which clashed the most. Today was different. Drew said they were going somewhere, and he didn’t know where because it was a surprise, but that meant he had no idea if his usual wardrobe would be appropriate. He didn’t expect to be going anywhere fancy, but he wasn’t used to having expectations. Period.

His gaze fell over Drew’s jacket hanging over the back of his computer chair. He didn’t know if Drew was aware that maybe it was strange to give his
boyfriend
his jacket, instead of a girlfriend, but it went without saying that it wasn’t for him to wear around school. It wasn’t fair, but he didn’t want the attention either. He looked at the Hawaiian shirt he held in his hands and thought about how often he contradicted himself; he didn’t want to be bothered by people, but he liked to dress kind of goofy. But then he nodded resolutely. He would wear what the hell he wanted, when he wanted, and nobody had the right to bother him about it. Except when it came to the jacket, which had to be the one exception for now. He sighed. He may not be able to wear it, but he loved having it.

“Kieran?” his dad called through the door, knocking twice. “Do you think we could have a chat?”

He barely refrained from groaning out loud. “I’m going out.” He dropped the shirt and snagged up a thin sweater, figuring clean jeans and combat boots were pretty neutral.

“I’d really like to talk, Kieran. Can I come in?”
“Yeah, whatever,” he called distractedly as he sat on the edge of his bed to tie his laces. He looked up when his dad came in and did that thing where he looked around his bedroom, pretending to be familiar with it. “What’s up, Dad?” To his horror, his father turned the computer chair to face opposite him, and took a seat.

“We never really caught up from last time we had a chat.” “I’ve been right here.” He held his hands out, palms upward.

“I know. I know it’s my fault. I’ve been run off my feet and distracted with this new restaurant, but I wanted to talk to you about that and some other things….”

“I already told you, I’m going out.”
“Where are you headed to?”
He shrugged. “I’m just going out with Drew.”
“Is Drew the guy who was here a few weeks ago?”

“Yes,” he muttered, standing to look for his wallet. He started slightly when his dad grasped his wrist. When was the last time they’d actually touched?

“Please sit.”

Reluctantly he sat back on the bed. For what seemed like forever he’d craved just a little bit of his dad’s attention, but now that he had it, he wanted nothing more than to escape it and any delicate questions he may have.

“We’ve been out of sync for quite a while and I think it’s about time about time we address it.”

 

Kieran shifted on the mattress and lifted one shoulder in indifference. “Alright,” he said.

“Alright,” his father agreed with a nod. “So um, why don’t you tell me what’s been going on with you lately.” He reached forward and squeezed Kieran’s knee.

Kieran stared. He’d expected to talk about the girlfriend. “Um… not much.”

 

“How’s school?”

 

Kieran barked out a laugh before he could stop himself. He quickly recovered and shook his head.

 

“What?” his dad asked, a hesitant smile forming as he waited to be let in on the joke.

“Dad. School’s been hell.”
The smile slipped away. “What do you mean?”

“You’re seriously going to sit me down now, with only a few weeks left of high school, and ask me ‘how’s school’? Seriously?”

“Kieran, what do you mean ‘
hell
’?” His voice was pained and his face pinched as he scooted to perch on the edge of the chair. “I asked you if you were being bullied!”

Kieran swallowed, suddenly desperate for Drew to knock on the door. “Forget it.”

 

“No, Kieran, we’re not forgetting it. What the hell has been going on with you?”

 

“Oh, don’t do that. Don’t pretend like
I’ve
been the absent one.” “I know the restaurant keeps me busy, but you knew you could always come to me with—”

“Come to you with my problems? Are you shitting me?” “Kieran, you do not talk to me like that.”

“You don’t talk to me at all!” He stood quickly, feeling stupid and cornered. “How do I tell you about anything when I know you have absolutely no interest in hearing it?”

His dad stood and held out a placating hand. “Kier, that’s not… that’s not even remotely true,” he said softly.

“You won’t introduce me to your girlfriend because I embarrass you.” There, he’d said it. He looked up at his dad, his eyes begging to be contradicted, but when he saw nothing but his father’s panicked expression, he felt something inside him curl up at knowing he was right. “You think I’m a freak, just like everyone else.” He made to move past his dad, not wanting him to see him upset, but was caught by the arm.

“Hey! You are
not
a freak! You’re quirky and unique and a good kid and I love that about you, I always have!”

Kieran shook the grip off of his arm. “I don’t know why we’re even talking about this, there’s no point now.” He looked at his dad and summoned up enough courage to yank open his dresser to pull out a brown envelope, already torn open. “I’m leaving Keys.” He handed it to his father, who took it and stared at it blankly before pulling out the paperwork.

“What is this?”
“An acceptance letter from the American River College. I got in.”

“Kieran, that’s… well, that’s great.” For what felt like the first time in a long time, he thought he saw some pride in his father’s face. He almost hated to say what he had to say next.

“It’s in Sacramento.”

 

His dad’s head snapped up. “What? But that’s… that’s so far away.”

 

He nodded. “Yes, it is.”

 

“That’s ridiculous, you’re not moving that far away, don’t be ridiculous, Kieran!”

 

“I thought you’d be relieved.”

 

“Relieved? My only child hates me so much that he wants to move two thousand miles away and you thought I’d be
relieved
?”

To Kieran’s shock, he thought he could see glassiness to his father’s eyes. He swallowed hard, feeling utterly lost. “I don’t hate you. I’m just over being unimportant to you.”

His dad turned around to face the wall, one hand covering his forehead. When he turned to face Kieran, he looked just as lost. “You think you’re unimportant to me? You are
everything
to me.” He suddenly screwed up the acceptance letter and lobbed it across the room. “How in the hell did we get to this point?”

“You stopped seeing me.”

 

“You stopped talking! And you are
not
moving to Sacramento, young man.”

“Yes. I.
Am
!”
“And just who is going to pay for it, tell me that?”

Kieran clenched his jaw and attempted a casual lift of one shoulder. “I’ll get a job; I’ll pay for it myself.”

 

“You’re going to work
and
study; you think that’ll pan out, do you?”

 

“I’ll make do!”

“Kieran,” his father sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It doesn’t need to be this difficult. I’ve wanted to talk to you about your future for a while, but I needed to see if I could make things official before I made any offers I couldn’t keep.”

Kieran frowned. “What do you mean?”

 

His father stared at him, and then sat back in the chair with a heavy sigh. “I wanted this to be a happy thing. I wanted it to be a gift.”

“Ihave no idea what you’re talking about—”
“The restaurant is yours.”

Kieran blinked, hearing the words but making no sense of them. “What?”

“The restaurant? Our restaurant? It’s now your restaurant.” “I-I don’t…
what
?” he asked again.

Kieran’s father rubbed his hands over his face tiredly. “I wanted to give you something special. Not a car, not cash, but something that’d last, something that could give you financial security.” He looked at Kieran. “I know it isn’t exciting, but I wanted to sit down and talk to you about college and about your life. I want to know what you want out of life and be able to tell you to go for it because you will always have the restaurant to fall back on.”

“I-I’ve never wanted—”

“You never wanted anything to do with it? Yes, I know. And to be honest that’s always hurt me a little. But this isn’t me trying to trap you into a family business.”

Kieran’s breath was shallow and there was a buzzing in his ears. That restaurant was his father’s pride and joy. It meant everything to him, and now it was his? “Then… what?”

“I was hoping you would want to go to college locally or at least in the same state, but then afterward you would have a choice. That’s your graduation gift.”

“A choice? My gift from you is a choice?”

He nodded. “You can come back and run your restaurant.
Your
restaurant. Or you could remain the owner and hire a manager. Either way it would be yours and you would have a substantial income from it.”

“So if I didn’t want to run a restaurant…?” he asked quietly.

“Then you do whatever the hell makes you happy, Kieran. Go be an artist, a teacher, anything, and don’t worry about paying your rent or not having something to fall back on. There will be two Appleby restaurants in Keys; mine—the new one I’m looking into opening—and yours. Even if you wanted to sell it, you’ll be able to buy a house from the proceeds, you won’t have to worry about rent or a mortgage.” His shoulders slumped. “Maybe it’s a stupid gift, but it would keep us connected, wouldn’t it?”

Kieran had no idea what to say. He was absolutely speechless. On the one hand, he thought it sounded like a financial dream. On the other, the untrusting, lonely, and hurt part of him was telling him it was something to keep him quiet and busy, something to make them square after his father’s sheer lack of presence in his life. “And if I don’t want it at all?”

He father looked up from where he’d been studying the carpet, a look of hurt and confusion crossing his features. “Why wouldn’t you want it? I worked myself half to death making that restaurant what it is today. It could set you up for life. I
want
you to have it!”

“And
I
want out of Keys!”
His father shook his head. “I don’t understand you.”

“Believe me, you’ve made that very obvious.” Part of him knew that he was being petty, childish, and ridiculous, but there were simply too many unresolved issues between them for a gift, even a gift of this magnitude, to solve everything.

“I’m offering you something I worked very hard on making happen, Kieran. Do you have any idea how long I’ve been looking into this second restaurant so I could give you the other one in time for your graduation? I’ve legally put the restaurant in your name; I’ve arranged to move half the old staff over to Piney Point and hired new staff for the first! I’ve—”

“Oh my God,” Kieran said, then laughed as it dawned on him. “I know what this is. You’ve opened a new restaurant and split the staff just so you can keep your girlfriend a secret from me. Oh my
God!
”

“Kieran, that’s not—”

“Are you that ashamed of me that you’re literally moving whoever she is—I’m guessing a waitress, or something—just so you don’t have to include me in your life? Wow, Dad.”

“You could not be more wrong!”
“Then why, huh? Why haven’t I met her?”
His dad visibly swallowed but said nothing.

“Okay, let’s start with something easier. Do you at least admit that you have a relationship with someone at the restaurant?” He was sure his father wouldn’t answer, but eventually he did. “Yes, yes, fine, there is someone.”

 

Actually hearing his dad say it hurt him more than he’d expected. “And how long has it been going on?” he asked.

 

He sighed. “Nearly three years.”

 

Kieran’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected it to be that long. “So… so you’re serious about her then?”

 

His dad hesitated, and there was something in his expression he couldn’t read. “It’s serious.”

 

“Are you in love?”

 

He watched his dad’s throat bob as he swallowed, and he watched him nod before he whispered: “Yes.”

All of his fight was gone. He was no closer to understanding his relationship with his father than he’d been ten minutes ago. Once, they’d been close. His dad had been his hero and the guy to go to whenever something was wrong. But he didn’t feel like his dad could be that person to him anymore. He felt confused and alone and tired.

There was a knock at the front door.

Neither of them moved for a few seconds, and they continued to look at one another until Kieran left without a word, heading to where he knew Drew stood, waiting to surprise him. He heard his dad call out behind him—a tired and sad tone in his voice—but he ignored him. He went straight to the front door and whipped it open without hesitation.

Drew was there, hand still poised in the air to knock again, and before he could even say anything, Kieran took Drew’s wrist and dragged him down the drive to where he was parked at the curb.

“Kier, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

 

“Just drive.”

 

“
D
IDyou get into it with your old man again?”

Kieran cut a glance to Drew. He was watching the road, but his concern was obvious. After gaining an insight into Drew’s relationship with his father, it felt selfish and juvenile to bitch and moan about his own, who—while far from being the perfect parent—at least lived in the same house. Despite the lingering feeling of frustration and inadequacy he felt and had been feeling the past two years, this was no longer something he could discuss with Drew. It felt unfair to.